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Common Misconceptions About Aros

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We've all seen stories and shows that feature an Aro character.  And most of them are undeniably cringe-worthy.  

Mostly, that's due to certain incorrect ideas that romantic society has about people who don't experience romance, romantic drives, or romantic idealism.

 

Which of these really chaps your hide?  Which bugs you more than the rest?

 

For me, it's that we're emotionless.  

I can be called a lot of things, but emotionless sure isn't one of them!  I don't like to *show* a lot of visible emotion, but I get overwhelmed by my emotions easily (gee, thanks, Depression) and sometimes really struggle to contain them.

 

Emotionless?  Anyone who'd say that can kiss my pale Canadian ass.

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For me, the most annoying prejudice people have about aros is that we're heartless creatures.

 

This has bugged me a lot, because I also used to think of myself to be selfish and heartless when I ended my past relationships. (I didn't know aromanticism was a thing back then)

 

The internalized amatonormativity was so damn crippling that I felt like I was a heartless b*tch who couldn't appreciate love and romantic gestures the others gave me. And the self-hate also got more intense when I actually felt happier as I finally got out of the relationships. 

 

I'm usually compassionate and empathetic for the other things. But the thing I just don't get and relate to is romance and anything related to it. 

 

Romance and love are not what make a person complete, for goodness sake! :facepalm:

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That we're only aromantic because 'we can't get a date'. :))))))))))))))))))))

 

 

 

No.

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10 hours ago, UncommonNonsense said:

We've all seen stories and shows that feature an Aro character.  And most of them are undeniably cringe-worthy.  

Mostly, that's due to certain incorrect ideas that romantic society has about people who don't experience romance, romantic drives, or romantic idealism.

 

Which of these really chaps your hide?  Which bugs you more than the rest?

 

When people fetishize greyromanticism? You know the trope with the guy who has never been in love, was a heartless womanizer, did not care about romance, and the The Girl appears...and he starts seeing colours, his life is fixed, his personality changes...and doing so while throwing all arospecs under the bus.

 

Anyway, its quite triggering for me, as it can lead to the deepest pits of self hate for aros. I stopped reading fanfics due to this phenomenon.

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"You're just being another stupid attention-whore speshul snowflak!! You are horrible!"

Sure this may just be on the internet but it always infuriates me. (Honestly Tumblr is one of the few places where I can find people who actually believe aros exist and it's really sad...)

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On 16/04/2016 at 6:35 PM, 46odnetnin said:

Same, whenever we manage to transfer concousness into a robot body I'm down for volunteering.

 

I really would rather be transferred to a robot body than die.

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I wished I was a robot in high school. I couldn't stand all the sexual harassment and the boys mocking me for being annoyed or upset at them for doing it.

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50 minutes ago, Untamed Heart said:

I wished I was a robot in high school. I couldn't stand all the sexual harassment and the boys mocking me for being annoyed or upset at them for doing it.

And I bet nothing happened because "boys will be boys" and "bullying doesn't count!"? That's my general concept of bullying given my expereince of being the victim. And victimisation at school, that is being bullied (by peers) or otherwise discriminated against (by staff) for reporting the bullying, is a big issue and something that especially pisses me off.

 

I'm sorry that happened to you :( :hugs: 

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You're right in that not a lot happened, even though one of the boys was apparently such a massive dick in general the teachers were trying to get him removed from the school. That didn't happen, but in a way I did feel like I might have someone on my side when I found that out. But school was just horrible anyway lol. Thanks for the concern :) 

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"Aromantics don't want a life partner."

"All aromantics are asexuals."

"Aromantics use people for sex."

"Aromantics are nymhpomaniacs."

"Aromantics are incapable of loving."

"Aromantics are touch/affection averse."

"Aromantic women don't exist."

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"Does this mean you are going to be this way your whole life?"/"But it is not permanent...right?"  Ah thanks right it was an illness I was supposed to overcome, not like, my orientation.

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"You're lucky not to have to deal with relationships!" 

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"normal" straight person: "You will meet a person who will change your feelings."

 

Yes, and you will meet the right person of the same gender who will turn you bisexual xD.

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I feel like when an aro complains about romance to an allo, the allo would see them as a bitter single person. Like, yeah they're probably a bitter single person, but they aren't bitter because they're single. I just feel like there's no way to escape allos thinking that. Because allos like to think that we can't get any, rather than that we don't want any. 

 

I dunno, I feel like I'm rambling. 

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I've gotten a "I can see the appeal of that [being aromantic]" which I suppose is better than something like "that must be awful for you" but is still not far off from "you're so luck not to have to deal with relationships."  This could also be interpreted as implying that it is a choice, although I know it wasn't meant that way, however we were both having communication issues, I was having trouble explaining why it was problematic and she was having trouble expressing what she meant in a way that did not have problematic implications.

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8 hours ago, Zemaddog said:

I feel like when an aro complains about romance to an allo, the allo would see them as a bitter single person. Like, yeah they're probably a bitter single person, but they aren't bitter because they're single. I just feel like there's no way to escape allos thinking that. Because allos like to think that we can't get any, rather than that we don't want any. 

 

I dunno, I feel like I'm rambling. 

 

I can see where you're coming from there.

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An aromantic can not give advice about psychological well being to an alloromantic because they don't understand romantic love which is unique to any other kind of love. If they say that maybe you not being over your girlfriend leaving you two years ago is about more than just your feelings for her then you just don't understand how strong love is.

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Or that we're inferior human beings because we only want friendship.

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On 02/05/2017 at 10:01 PM, techno-trashcan said:

"You should try liking someone. Maybe that'd make you happy." :facepalm:

I'm pretty sure most of us have tried at some point.. seeing as there are quite allot of us I'd say it doesn't work

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On 02/05/2017 at 10:01 PM, techno-trashcan said:

"You should try liking someone. Maybe that'd make you happy." :facepalm:

I can like people. Difficulty is finding anyone who can like and accept me as me.
All most everyone else appears interested in is some weird crazy stuff (romance) or some very limited kind of friendship (platonic).
It certainly dosn't make me happy that many cool things seem only possible if you can put up with the romance junk.

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