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Untamed Heart

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About Untamed Heart

  • Birthday 04/05/1983

Personal Information

  • Name
    Anne
  • Orientation
    Hetero, grey, lithro? Aroflux?
  • Gender
    Female
  • Pronouns
    She, her
  • Occupation
    Dirt removal person

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  1. Omg, I didn't think about that but now you've said it, I kind of want it to happen! "Albert... just one more rasher... please!" "I think you've had quite enough, sir..." Sweeney Bacon The Bacon Bride There's Something About Bacon Bacon: Pig In The City Bacon Stripes
  2. I did think that, but didn't see when I checked back. Oh well! Batman v Bacon
  3. The Black Bacon (Black Swan) Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Bacon Harry Potter and the Chamber of Bacon The Bacon Runner
  4. I've noticed you stated your hetero greysexual. I was curious if it's more like hetero-demisexuality? Whereas you only have sexual attraction when you're great friends with a man and you have great chemistry. You obtain a squish, like a romance crush but only on a friendship level.

     

    Having sexual attraction is just the mental / emotional side of the orientation but sexual arousal is the physical sensation and the reception of such, not necessarily will you act on the physical / biological urge. 

     

    Or do you have specific tweaks to the grey / demisexuality where you're a sapio, a person turned on by someone's intelligence and the way they present themselves in an intellectual manner with others, including yourself?

     

    I mean, there is so many areas to look into and research, let alone articulate about ones own self and how you view people. 

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. Lex Barringer

      Lex Barringer

      Here's something interesting, many people don't really hit on, where as it's aesthetics, it's a mental and emotional process. I have an ultra-wide hetero aesthetic attraction (another orientation). Whereas I'm

      highly attracted to women and love to talk to them, when in reality they think I'm hitting on them for some action and romance.

       

      It took me a long time to realize this is what was going on with me. I enjoy the eye candy so to speak and being really friendly (some people think it's flirting but it's not). I thought I was having many crushes going on simultaneously but I figured out that wasn't it. It was the thought of being with them that is what appealed to me, not necessarily falling in love and having sex. I'm a very visual and tactile type of person. 

       

      It's a possibility that what you think is romance really isn't, it could be aesthetic attraction. It wasn't until I separated the difference between physical attraction and how I was interacting with people did I realize I wasn't allosexual. I figured out I was demisexual, then it dawned on me. I love being with women but I don't have any  attraction to them  in regards to romance, I then figured out I was aro after that.

       

      Finding a good understanding partner for any type of relationship is hard enough to find but to accept you when the dust settles and everything has been laid out on the table is true love.

       

      Now, I'm not finding fault here, that's not my intention. Just trying to figure out if you can further articulate who and what you are, I believe if you do so, you can then find a partner that is the same way you are. Being in a stable relationship, however you define it, is good for the both of you.

       

      Another thing to look into psychological attachments, as I've said to other members. It's not a bad thing if they go one way or another, it's just what you are and how you understand relationships in general. If you know your attachments, you can work on normalizing them if they're way out of whack. Once those

      are handled, if this is the problem, things happen naturally. 

       

      Often times people that supposedly fall in love with someone are falling in love with the idea of someone, the idealized state that

      doesn't exist in reality. When you notice the discrepancy in the

      real world, people tend to lose interest in a hurry. It's like the idea of

      people hanging on a celebrity's every word, you think you love them, then they let you into their inner circle and realize what you thought you knew was just an illusion, you want out now. 

    3. Untamed Heart

      Untamed Heart

      That's really insightful, thanks! The whole aesthetic attraction was definitely what was happening with me when I realised I liked my ex. I didn't realise that's all it really was until I came here. I can relate to liking the idea of being with someone more than the reality, as well.

      I feel, at least right now, I'm kind of too independent to want to deliberately seek anyone out. Even when I was a child, I didn't really make huge efforts to develop friendships with most of the other kids in school. I guess I'd be anxious avoidant, or around that ballpark.

    4. Lex Barringer

      Lex Barringer

      That's exactly what aesthetic attraction does, you're really into their being or rather the unrealistic image you have in your mind that they are, when you see they don't match you give up.

       

      Actually, this whole thing about aesthetic attraction isn't being shallow or fake, it's just not realizing and learning that the image you build someone up to be doesn't match reality. Lots of people who get into relationships who have this trouble don't realize the aesthetic attraction orientation isn't articulated yet and understand what makes you tick, what turns your crank, gets you excited and why it does that. 

       

      It works like this, your physically attracted to them but not necessarily their personality. When things settle down in the relationship and everything gets real, the real personality emerges, many people bolt when they run into this. Some people get anxious, scared or offended when people don't measure up to the great expectations. 

       

      Hey, I had to temper mine some twenty years ago. Sure, I have a yearning to be with women, just because I'm aro doesn't mean I don't want to be alone.

  5. This sounds like the plot development for an 80s style cheesy movie
  6. Does anyone else find it utterly hilarious that some people complain about the odd comment on a (debate) forum being 'too long', when they've probably read books that are 100 times longer and possibly more in depth? (If they even do read). I get a bit pissed off at people complaining when they're just being lazy and most of the time the offending comment isn't even directed at them.

    Sometimes you do need more than a couple of paragraphs to really get your point across.

    (This is on another forum and didn't actually happen to me, but I did call the lazy idiot out on it).

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. omitef

      omitef

      wow this post is so long i didn't even bother--

       

      i kid

    3. Lex Barringer

      Lex Barringer

      I prefer the long winded posts as it gives me a chance to see how a person is thinking and feeling. The length of a post also gives me insight, if and when I post a response, it won't be ill received or have a very small percentage of it being "side eyed".

    4. cute kitty Meow! Mewo!

      cute kitty Meow! Mewo!

      I do appreciate what you're saying myself lol. I feel the same way often! But what I often think of to try to empathize or to consider if I should've written the post wiser, for me when I find long comments difficult to read, it's usually because the comment was one of the following three: not my interest; or heated/emotional/abrasive; or unpolished/unedited/unfocused.

       

      If a book or article isn't relevant to my interests, I'm not going to read it either. If it's heated, I'm probably only going to read it if I myself am heated and it's ridiculing something I also dislike. which personally I don't do :P and if it's unpolished, unedited, or unfocused, I'm not going to read the book or article for sure. so I recommend,

       

      1)  if I'm not willing to read through and edit it at least one pass, I'm going to delete it without posting. Sometimes this inspires me to write the same thing in three sentences in an efficient and clear way, and then I'm surprised and proud of my work lol!

      2) if it's heated, I keep it short, and then pause for a minute and think about a way to add to my post also with a short message in a non-heated way. perhaps even remove the heat, if I can, which is only easy if I can find a way to say what I want to without heat.

      3) if it's corner case interest, I "spoiler" the thread saying [long] and [disclaim my topic] as tags, so those interested know to read it and those uninterested in it or in {me as a friend}, can just skip it. For example, if I "spoiler"'d this post, I'd tag it [long] [advice on self-editing posts]

       

      and for me it's a work in progress lol!  it's difficult to not get upset by such rude criticisms. rarely do people offer constructive criticism in a fair manner, only ever are they rude, blunt, or irrelevant about their nagging. it's kind of funny kind of sad kind of frustrating. 

  7. I'm mainly indifferent, though I can't stand "romance" as seen in the soaps. It's all so predictable it becomes absolutely tedious: A loves B, B professes to love A then ends up in bed/runs off with C D and E get married, D has a 'secret' side chick F is married to G and has an affair with H behind G's back. G and H inevitably both get pregnant, maybe one loses their baby later on but either way shit's gonna go down sooner or later and everyone's lives will be ruined forever. The affair itself was an elaborate scheme and planned like a perfect murder but F will tearfully claim it was a mistake and beg/grind his wife down enough to get another chance. There are some fictional romances I love, I'm not against it totally, but I still wish it wasn't literally everywhere and especially in places it has no organic role or doesn't add anything meaningful to the story (or even when it takes place at stupid times - the oft-mentioned makeout/fuck scene during a zombie chase/dire emergency/get the fuck out now or everyone will die and it's all your fault, etc)
  8. I love Bojack, though haven't watched it in a while and I've only seen a clip of that episode. It's a great show, though!
  9. The Wizard of Oz - at least, the part where Dorothy is being threatened by the witch because she won't give up the ruby slippers. Apparently I enjoyed the rest of the movie because I distinctly remember asking my mum to put it on, but I hid behind the sofa for bits of it because I couldn't handle it When I was still a teenager I saw an episode of the Outer Limits (I checked it out because my crush at the time liked it... big mistake!); the first, and only episode I happened to catch was about the sun going nova and I had nightmares about it, and similar events for years afterwards, which says a lot. While I'm admittedly fairly easy to scare, it rarely induces nightmares. Also, my brother loved this short film called 'The Plank' when we were kids. It was about rubbish collectors and I was always terrified I was about to watch one of the men get crushed to death in the back of the bin lorry, as he sat on the edge. It was supposed to be a comedy... Another one my brother liked was an animation based on one of the world wars - the only thing I remember about it, because it scared the ever living shit out of me, was the soldiers had gas masks, but the hose things on them wriggled about like worms. Combined with the goggles that made them look like their eyes had no pupils, and they were staring right at me, it was pretty traumatising (I also made the mistake once of covering my eyes and asking him to tell me when they'd disappeared... yeah, my bro was a bit of an asshole when we were kids )
  10. I actually do understand your friend to a degree, but I also think looking for practical reasons to dump someone can be a sign that you're not truly invested in them anyway. Driving a few hours to see someone can actually cause a strain on the feelings you have for someone - amplifying any uncertainty, and obviously not everyone can deal with a long distance relationship, especially if they need/prefer to have face to face contact and all the trimmings to go with that. I didn't mind driving the 19 miles to my ex's house when I was with him last year, but everyone has a different 'threshold' I guess? One of my exes complained about having to drive about that same distance to come and see me a couple of times, and again when he was breaking up with me. I'm on the fence over the money part - I agree it can make things easier in practical terms, but I'm not sure it should be a deciding factor in whether or not to date someone. What if they lose their job or their hours get cut? Will you (general you) dump them even if you still really like them? As for the lack of relationships being just another day in the office, I'm definitely with you on that!
  11. If you're ever having a bad day where everything's going wrong, just remember that Gordon Ramsey, the stickler for kitchen discipline, once set fire to a dish and threw it into a waste bin, still on fire, while being filmed for a TV show. 

  12. That feeling when you wanted to say something to your peeps on Arocalypse then forgot what it was...

    1. Arocalypse

      Arocalypse

      If you can't remember, just say 'mmm'. Seems to work in the "be the newest comment" thread very well.

    2. Untamed Heart

      Untamed Heart

      I do remember now, but it'll be better as a new status lol

  13. Was kind of an annoying evening, since I found out too late that my self defence classes had been cancelled until further notice, since I've been the only student for over a month. I'd been really excited to go since yesterday, as it got cancelled last week as well. I just hope if they start up again with more students, I won't have lost my enthusiasm.

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