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Star Girl

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Everything posted by Star Girl

  1. http://www.bbc.com/news/stories-44143003 Not explicitly related to aromanticism, but I think that at least several of the people mentioned could benefit from exposure to the aromantic community and the idea that romantic relationships are not essential for happiness (and that communities exist that will not consider it strange that they have no romantic/sexual experience). The cultural messages that they have absorbed and been harmed by certainly make me angry. A few of them, with their descriptions of their reaction to people expressing romantic interest, might find that they identify with the aromantic spectrum. Thoughts?
  2. I hadn’t noticed (probably because I met them both before I knew I was aro), but I definitely agree.
  3. @Ice Queen I like Feyre and Rhysand’s relationship too. Have you read Sarah J. Maas’ Throne of Glass series? I really enjoyed Celaena and Rowan’s relationship in Heir of Fire. (Although I got annoyed a bit annoyed with it in the fifth book.)
  4. My allo(romantic) friends think I give good advice (at least when my friend was struggling after breaking up with her boyfriend), even knowing I'm aro. Mine was generally along the lines of "you don't need to feel guilty about ending your relationship. You do not have an obligation to be in a relationship with anyone, let alone this person."
  5. @Apathetic Echidna Ok, sure, I could see Surreal and Rainier. I had thought of Rainier as gay, but I could see him as aro.
  6. Welcome! You made an account within a few days? I think it took me about 3 months 5 months of lurking before I actually made an account, so good for you! Dragons are cool.
  7. Karla from Anne Bishop's Black Jewels series ( @Apathetic Echidna )
  8. @Apathetic Echidna I read Anne Bishop too! (I haven't come across another person who does before... must have missed your previous comments.) I haven't read Shadows and Light though (it is the only one my library doesn't have ) I tend to like books where the romantic plot is slower... I don't like to be left thinking wondering when exactly the characters fell in love with each other. I suppose this is because with non romantic relationships, it generally takes time and actually knowing the other person to feel very close to them. (My impression is that romantic infatuation can cause people to skip a few steps (although what do I know?).)
  9. Ahhh! Someone else who actually reads Vorkosigan! I like the romance in that series in general... (Shards of Honor is one of my favorites.) I think I like them because the way the characters deal with romance is so much in line with who they are as a character (read Komarr and Civil Campaign). Sometimes in other series, it seems like once you add the romantic plot line, you can toss everything you know about that character out the window. I have also read Uprooted, but I didn’t find it terribly memorable, so I can’t comment.
  10. I have known I was aro since I was 18 (almost 2 years now), just after I discovered the term. I think I could have known when I was 12-13. As others have said: use whatever label feels most comfortable to you for as long as it feels the most comfortable, be that a few years or a lifetime.
  11. I think you definitely sound like you are somewhere on the aromantic spectrum. I might suggest looking up quoiromatic.
  12. I’m pretty sure some of the games that I was involved with ended up in this state (although not intentionally from the beginning). I had a love/hate relationship with truth or dare in my middle school days (I had no friends to play it with in high school)... it is an excellent way to gain insight into how I am “supposed to feel” about crushes, etc, but of course I always dreaded being asked those sorts of questions myself.
  13. I am out to my friends and at college don’t really care who knows. Many don’t have long term relationships at the moment, but being out means I don’t have to hide it when I think they are being ridiculous when talking about romance, etc. (They know I truly care about them and that they are happy, even if I laugh at them sometimes.) One of my friends is sometimes hesitant to talk about relationships with me, more because she worries that I am not interested. Another, who just broke up with her somewhat long term boyfriend, felt that I had a useful advice when she was feeling guilty about it, I think because I was not attached to the relationship for the sake of the relationship (and so was only concerned with her happiness). Another friend who is ace will share ace related stuff with me when she runs across it. And when I get stuck with a table of girls (none of whom I know closely) who are talking about which of a group of visiting guys they are going to date, I can go complain to any of my friends about being stuck with too many straight people. I think the environment I am in (a (mostly) women’s college with a large percent of students who are LGBT) is very good for me making friends as an aro. For one it isn’t assumed that you are straight and you are not expected to have a relationship. I don’t know how it will be when I am no longer in college, but I hope at least some of my friends here will be friends afterward.
  14. This again? (People have apparently made 30 pages of comments since I looked at it last)
  15. I got: 9 Words of Affirmation 8 Quality Time 6 Acts of Service 4 Physical Touch 2 Receiving Gifts I can see why I have the numbers I do. I think it would change if I was close to someone in particular, or had known my friends longer (which I think would lower my Words of Affirmation score, and increase Quality Time and Physical Touch).
  16. It's a very impressively dead pumpkin. Last week I was doing my laundry and had to wash a blanket that I don't normally wash because I spilled something on it. I couldn't remember if it was supposed to go in the dryer, but I am a college student and my room, while normally plenty large, does not have enough space to drape a wet blanket over stuff until I dries, so I put it in anyway (it was on low) with the rest of my stuff (laundry is expensive!). Turns out it was not supposed to go in the dryer. The blanket is alright, I think (I haven't checked it too thoroughly), but everything else now has fuzzy purple spots on it where I think the fuzz came off and melted slightly in the heat of the dryer.
  17. I tried it a few times... my best was 76 wpm although more usually I was in the 60-70 wpm range. A lot of my mistakes were things that a program like MS Word would automatically correct for me, like double capitals and switched letters (and guess where I type the most...). And I think I would be faster if I wasn't copying something, because then I run across an unexpected word and stumble on it. One thing I have realized (before this) is that I am relatively good at realizing when I have made a mistake even if I'm not looking at what I have typed and I can go back and correct it without looking either. (This is really nice for putting in passwords when you can't see them, and sometimes can't even see how many letters you have typed.)
  18. I have had multiple disagreements with multiple people about Rogue One and whether it has a romantic plot.... all the non aros read romance into it, arg! (My friend didn’t believe me at first when I claimed there wasn’t a kissing scene!)
  19. This is not usually the place I would expect to find discussions on physics... I am a sophomore physics and astronomy double major (I know... you would never guess from the profile pic), but I think I will wait until at least next semester (when I will be taking the course Light, Relativity and Quantum) to comment.
  20. As a native English speaker, I frequently use "they" as a singular pronoun when referring to someone whose gender/pronouns I don't know (like if I have encountered them by label, for example "the teacher" etc.) or who I don't know well/at all (using she or he always seems more familiar to me, although that's just me... I know many people will disagree) in addition to using it as someone's pronouns.
  21. Hey... my college had a group last year too! Although I think it died this year...
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