Jump to content

Common Misconceptions About Aros


Robin
 Share

Recommended Posts

@Aimee03 the girl who said it is a good friend of mine. And the fun side is she probably only said it bc I am very caring around her and our friendship bc she and the friendship are so important to me and she has some problems and I want to keep our friendship on and to have a nice time and just to be there for her whenever she needs me...

and I think I wouldn’t put even half of the effort in our friendship when I wasn’t aromantic xD

So just me being aromantic leads to her assumption that I would be a “caring girlfriend” (I don’t even think I would be lol bc having someone around me most of the time makes me very mad)

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 1 month later...

Recently, one of my friends was talking about a crush they thought they had (turns out it wasn’t a crush and they just wanted to be friends with her). They said something like “idk man I just really like her” and I responded “bro same I love her so much” because I’ve known her for like six years, she’s one of my closest friends I do love her more than she could know. They met her this year, they said “yea but it’s different”. I had recently come out as arospec to them and ouch that felt super dismissive and hurt a lot more than I thought it would, like the way I feel for her was somehow less? Like yes it’s different but that doesn’t mean you like her more? Not that it’s a competition but it’s stuck with me a bit and I’m just Not A Fan. 

  • Like 6
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 1 month later...
  • 2 months later...
5 hours ago, cyancat said:

please make a single (1) non-evil/cold/assassin type aromantic k thanks. 

Non-assassin! ?

It’s really an aro stereotype, but it would have its upsides if it were real…

core$images$portraits$humans$assassin+fe

“Cupid’s arrow? Try my poisoned blade instead… No time for amatonormativity!”

(Image: Battle for Wesnoth assassin)

  • Like 14
Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 8/11/2021 at 3:31 PM, DeltaV said:

Non-assassin! ?

It’s really an aro stereotype, but it would have its upsides if it were real…

core$images$portraits$humans$assassin+fe

“Cupid’s arrow? Try my poisoned blade instead… No time for amatonormativity!”

(Image: Battle for Wesnoth assassin)

u r SO right i take it back please make more Aromantic Assassins thank u (just also make non-assassin aros occasionally c:)

  • Like 5
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 2 months later...

a misconception: it’s weird for aromantic characters (and by extension, aromantic people because fiction doesn’t equal reality but it can sure fucking reflect it), to be in relationships

- bonus: the character in question is actually asexual who everyone treats like they’re aro which u know non-sam is valid but despite conflating the terms because it is complex it’s almost like people fucking miss all the other goddamn complexities in aromanticism and god forbid i ever try to express those and get labeled as erasing a canon ace character (screech)

yes i’m incredibly salty for feeling like if i try to write my own experiences i’ll get told i’m doing a Representation Wrong thanks for asking!

Edited by cyancat
  • Like 4
  • Sad 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites

yesterday i told my friend i'm aromantic. her reaction was: "isn't it because of some trauma? have you talked to your therapist about that?"

thanks for doubting my existence, i guess

  • Like 1
  • Sad 2
  • Angry 9
Link to comment
Share on other sites

1 hour ago, sol said:

yesterday i told my friend i'm aromantic. her reaction was: "isn't it because of some trauma? have you talked to your therapist about that?"

Maybe you should have asked them what makes them so sure being alloromantic isn't the result of some trauma....

  • Like 12
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 3 months later...

These are some things my parents told me when I told them I was aromantic.

  • "You've had crushes on guys though?"- First off, aromanticism is a spectrum, so some people can still technically have the possibility of feeling romantic attraction, but have found the label that truly fits how they feel, and second, people have made up crushes/and/or confused their feelings with a squish (I have done this).
  • "You're so young, I just don't see the point in labelling yourself!"- Well the label resonates with how I feel and makes me feel a lot more confident and sure of myself in my identity, but I'm sure if I was a straight allo girl you wouldn't be saying anything about labelling myself.
  • "It's probably just a phase, you'll most likely grow out of it."-This is just rude and is such a inconsiderate phrase, you have no right to invalidate my feelings, and you don't know me more than I do, so what makes you think you have any say in whether I'm going through a "phase"?
  • "You might find someone in the future and change your mind!"- Here's the thing, I DON'T WANT TO. Please stop forcing this idea on me that I'll find this "true love" in the future someday, I don't want a romantic relationship and I haven't met anyone in the present time that's "changed my mind", so please stop saying that.
  • "Are you saying you're LGBTQ+ because you want to fit in?"- Ok, I understand there are some very stupid people that pretend to be LGBTQIA+ because they think it's a trend and want to follow on it, but again, THIS IS A RUDE AND INCONSIDERATE PHRASE. No, I'm not trying to "fit in" with people at my school, what I've done is found a label that finally fits how I've felt for my whole life, and you're invalidating my feelings yet again, and even accusing me of faking it! Even if I truly wanted to "fit in", and did something stupid like that, I wouldn't be identifying as an aroace, I'd be identifying as a sexuality that is way more relatable such as bisexual, pansexual, lesbian ect.

That's what I can remember, sorry it's so long, I've been wanting to get it off my chest, thanks for reading this long rant, have a good day/night!

  • Like 8
  • Angry 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

8 hours ago, ImJustChillingHere said:
  • "You've had crushes on guys though?"- First off, aromanticism is a spectrum, so some people can still technically have the possibility of feeling romantic attraction, but have found the label that truly fits how they feel, and second, people have made up crushes/and/or confused their feelings with a squish (I have done this).

In mainstream society any strong attraction tends to be considered a "crush". Regardless of if it any part of it involves romantic attraction or not.
Though it's just as problematic to regard any attraction as a "squish". Which can happen in parts of the aro community.

8 hours ago, ImJustChillingHere said:
  • "You're so young, I just don't see the point in labelling yourself!"- Well the label resonates with how I feel and makes me feel a lot more confident and sure of myself in my identity, but I'm sure if I was a straight allo girl you wouldn't be saying anything about labelling myself.

Even someone who actually is "too young to know" would not be challenged if they labeled themselves as "straight", "allo", "cis", etc.

9 hours ago, ImJustChillingHere said:
  • "It's probably just a phase, you'll most likely grow out of it."-This is just rude and is such a inconsiderate phrase, you have no right to invalidate my feelings, and you don't know me more than I do, so what makes you think you have any say in whether I'm going through a "phase"?

It's actually far more common for aros to grow out of an "allo phase"...
Just as it's very common for LGBTQ+ people to have a "cis straight phase" when they are young.

9 hours ago, ImJustChillingHere said:

 

  • "Are you saying you're LGBTQ+ because you want to fit in?"- Ok, I understand there are some very stupid people that pretend to be LGBTQIA+ because they think it's a trend and want to follow on it, but again, THIS IS A RUDE AND INCONSIDERATE PHRASE. No, I'm not trying to "fit in" with people at my school, what I've done is found a label that finally fits how I've felt for my whole life, and you're invalidating my feelings yet again, and even accusing me of faking it! Even if I truly wanted to "fit in", and did something stupid like that, I wouldn't be identifying as an aroace, I'd be identifying as a sexuality that is way more relatable such as bisexual, pansexual, lesbian ect.

If someone was motivated by wanting to fit in they'd likely identify as "cis straight". Maybe also "mongamous" and "vanilla" anyway.

  • Like 4
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 3 months later...

• “oh but youre so expressive and happy”, yeah im not a robot! 

• “i use to feel like that, you’ll get it when you’re older”

• “you must have low self esteem, you can be loved!” stfu

 

 

  • Like 5
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 3 weeks later...

I know some aros hate kissing and that‘s totally fine and valid, but I totally hate the generalizing „aromantics hate kissing“ tropes 

also, that aros don‘t like romantic actions or people can‘t be aro if they desire a relationship

  • Like 4
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I've noticed that a lot of people think aros don't like physical contact (hand holding, head pats, etc.), and while some don't, myself and at least some others do enjoy things like that. when i told a friend that I do like some kinds of physical contact, they were really surprised to find that I was ok with that. idk but i just don't like the conception that since things like hand holding are considered "romantic", that means that aros can't do things like that/don't like things like that.

  • Like 6
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 3 months later...

WE ARENT ROBOTS OH MY GODDDDD

it also doesnt mean that we reject love completely it may be different for some people but i still want the idea of a romantic relationship, but in reality its not what i want idk how to explain??

  • Like 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 2 weeks later...

We just haven't found the right person yet

It's OK to be aro ( or arospec) as long as you have platonic love.

Also ppl thinking that all aromantic people hate romance

Edited by alien
  • Like 5
Link to comment
Share on other sites

someone: "does your arm also gets numb when someone is laying on it all night?"

me: "actually no, this never happened to me"

friend, who knows I'm aroace gives me a weird look like this can't happen to you, you are aro

well seems like allo people never hug their friends/other people than their partners at night

  • Like 2
  • Confused 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 2 weeks later...

that you can't be aro if you want a relationship. and that all Aros are happy without a relationship

 

 

cn aromisia

a friend of mine once said to me while I was telling him that some Aros do search for exclusive* relationships: "okay, but why should anyone be willing to be in a relationship with an aromatic person? that's too unfair for the alloromantic person"

(it's not. those of you who want to be in a relationship: you have ENOUGH to give) 

*I use this term to let open if it's an romantic or (queer)platonic or alterous one or something else

  • Like 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 10/16/2022 at 2:06 PM, Acecream said:

okay, but why should anyone be willing to be in a relationship with an aromatic person? that's too unfair for the alloromantic person

I just love how it assumes the other person is allo lol. Also why is the aro always at fault ? Why can't it be unfair for the aro as well ?

And anyway mixed relationship can work, if people involved explain their need and communicate properly.

  • Like 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 2 weeks later...
On 10/19/2022 at 12:47 PM, nonmerci said:

I just love how it assumes the other person is allo lol. Also why is the aro always at fault ? Why can't it be unfair for the aro as well ?

And anyway mixed relationship can work, if people involved explain their need and communicate properly.

Also I was thinking about a friend who liked me and talked a lot with me about how (exclusive)relationships could work for aros and was sad/disappointed when I made clear that I’m wasn’t open to any kind of relationship in that moment. for her it would have been better to have a relationship with an aro than being refused by the aro

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 4 weeks later...
  • 3 weeks later...

Aromantics see their partners only as sex objects. I have to admit, I at one point thought aromantic meant that you just want sex without the emotional part of the relationship. There are surely some aros who do, but now I know it doesn't apply to everyone. It was part of the reason I never asked myself if I was maybe somewhere on the spectrum up until recently.

Aromantic people are cold-hearted and emotionless. I'm a big hugger, expressive and sentimental person. And I love my friends and family very very much.

"You're just making up an excuse for being single." Why would I be making an excuse for something I don't feel bad about in the first place. 

 

  • Like 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

 Share

×
×
  • Create New...