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Common Misconceptions About Aros


Robin
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@Aimee03 the girl who said it is a good friend of mine. And the fun side is she probably only said it bc I am very caring around her and our friendship bc she and the friendship are so important to me and she has some problems and I want to keep our friendship on and to have a nice time and just to be there for her whenever she needs me...

and I think I wouldn’t put even half of the effort in our friendship when I wasn’t aromantic xD

So just me being aromantic leads to her assumption that I would be a “caring girlfriend” (I don’t even think I would be lol bc having someone around me most of the time makes me very mad)

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  • 1 month later...

Recently, one of my friends was talking about a crush they thought they had (turns out it wasn’t a crush and they just wanted to be friends with her). They said something like “idk man I just really like her” and I responded “bro same I love her so much” because I’ve known her for like six years, she’s one of my closest friends I do love her more than she could know. They met her this year, they said “yea but it’s different”. I had recently come out as arospec to them and ouch that felt super dismissive and hurt a lot more than I thought it would, like the way I feel for her was somehow less? Like yes it’s different but that doesn’t mean you like her more? Not that it’s a competition but it’s stuck with me a bit and I’m just Not A Fan. 

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  • 2 months later...
5 hours ago, cyancat said:

please make a single (1) non-evil/cold/assassin type aromantic k thanks. 

Non-assassin! ?

It’s really an aro stereotype, but it would have its upsides if it were real…

core$images$portraits$humans$assassin+fe

“Cupid’s arrow? Try my poisoned blade instead… No time for amatonormativity!”

(Image: Battle for Wesnoth assassin)

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On 8/11/2021 at 3:31 PM, DeltaV said:

Non-assassin! ?

It’s really an aro stereotype, but it would have its upsides if it were real…

core$images$portraits$humans$assassin+fe

“Cupid’s arrow? Try my poisoned blade instead… No time for amatonormativity!”

(Image: Battle for Wesnoth assassin)

u r SO right i take it back please make more Aromantic Assassins thank u (just also make non-assassin aros occasionally c:)

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  • 2 months later...

a misconception: it’s weird for aromantic characters (and by extension, aromantic people because fiction doesn’t equal reality but it can sure fucking reflect it), to be in relationships

- bonus: the character in question is actually asexual who everyone treats like they’re aro which u know non-sam is valid but despite conflating the terms because it is complex it’s almost like people fucking miss all the other goddamn complexities in aromanticism and god forbid i ever try to express those and get labeled as erasing a canon ace character (screech)

yes i’m incredibly salty for feeling like if i try to write my own experiences i’ll get told i’m doing a Representation Wrong thanks for asking!

Edited by cyancat
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yesterday i told my friend i'm aromantic. her reaction was: "isn't it because of some trauma? have you talked to your therapist about that?"

thanks for doubting my existence, i guess

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1 hour ago, sol said:

yesterday i told my friend i'm aromantic. her reaction was: "isn't it because of some trauma? have you talked to your therapist about that?"

Maybe you should have asked them what makes them so sure being alloromantic isn't the result of some trauma....

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  • 3 months later...

These are some things my parents told me when I told them I was aromantic.

  • "You've had crushes on guys though?"- First off, aromanticism is a spectrum, so some people can still technically have the possibility of feeling romantic attraction, but have found the label that truly fits how they feel, and second, people have made up crushes/and/or confused their feelings with a squish (I have done this).
  • "You're so young, I just don't see the point in labelling yourself!"- Well the label resonates with how I feel and makes me feel a lot more confident and sure of myself in my identity, but I'm sure if I was a straight allo girl you wouldn't be saying anything about labelling myself.
  • "It's probably just a phase, you'll most likely grow out of it."-This is just rude and is such a inconsiderate phrase, you have no right to invalidate my feelings, and you don't know me more than I do, so what makes you think you have any say in whether I'm going through a "phase"?
  • "You might find someone in the future and change your mind!"- Here's the thing, I DON'T WANT TO. Please stop forcing this idea on me that I'll find this "true love" in the future someday, I don't want a romantic relationship and I haven't met anyone in the present time that's "changed my mind", so please stop saying that.
  • "Are you saying you're LGBTQ+ because you want to fit in?"- Ok, I understand there are some very stupid people that pretend to be LGBTQIA+ because they think it's a trend and want to follow on it, but again, THIS IS A RUDE AND INCONSIDERATE PHRASE. No, I'm not trying to "fit in" with people at my school, what I've done is found a label that finally fits how I've felt for my whole life, and you're invalidating my feelings yet again, and even accusing me of faking it! Even if I truly wanted to "fit in", and did something stupid like that, I wouldn't be identifying as an aroace, I'd be identifying as a sexuality that is way more relatable such as bisexual, pansexual, lesbian ect.

That's what I can remember, sorry it's so long, I've been wanting to get it off my chest, thanks for reading this long rant, have a good day/night!

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8 hours ago, ImJustChillingHere said:
  • "You've had crushes on guys though?"- First off, aromanticism is a spectrum, so some people can still technically have the possibility of feeling romantic attraction, but have found the label that truly fits how they feel, and second, people have made up crushes/and/or confused their feelings with a squish (I have done this).

In mainstream society any strong attraction tends to be considered a "crush". Regardless of if it any part of it involves romantic attraction or not.
Though it's just as problematic to regard any attraction as a "squish". Which can happen in parts of the aro community.

8 hours ago, ImJustChillingHere said:
  • "You're so young, I just don't see the point in labelling yourself!"- Well the label resonates with how I feel and makes me feel a lot more confident and sure of myself in my identity, but I'm sure if I was a straight allo girl you wouldn't be saying anything about labelling myself.

Even someone who actually is "too young to know" would not be challenged if they labeled themselves as "straight", "allo", "cis", etc.

9 hours ago, ImJustChillingHere said:
  • "It's probably just a phase, you'll most likely grow out of it."-This is just rude and is such a inconsiderate phrase, you have no right to invalidate my feelings, and you don't know me more than I do, so what makes you think you have any say in whether I'm going through a "phase"?

It's actually far more common for aros to grow out of an "allo phase"...
Just as it's very common for LGBTQ+ people to have a "cis straight phase" when they are young.

9 hours ago, ImJustChillingHere said:

 

  • "Are you saying you're LGBTQ+ because you want to fit in?"- Ok, I understand there are some very stupid people that pretend to be LGBTQIA+ because they think it's a trend and want to follow on it, but again, THIS IS A RUDE AND INCONSIDERATE PHRASE. No, I'm not trying to "fit in" with people at my school, what I've done is found a label that finally fits how I've felt for my whole life, and you're invalidating my feelings yet again, and even accusing me of faking it! Even if I truly wanted to "fit in", and did something stupid like that, I wouldn't be identifying as an aroace, I'd be identifying as a sexuality that is way more relatable such as bisexual, pansexual, lesbian ect.

If someone was motivated by wanting to fit in they'd likely identify as "cis straight". Maybe also "mongamous" and "vanilla" anyway.

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  • 3 months later...

• “oh but youre so expressive and happy”, yeah im not a robot! 

• “i use to feel like that, you’ll get it when you’re older”

• “you must have low self esteem, you can be loved!” stfu

 

 

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  • 3 weeks later...

I know some aros hate kissing and that‘s totally fine and valid, but I totally hate the generalizing „aromantics hate kissing“ tropes 

also, that aros don‘t like romantic actions or people can‘t be aro if they desire a relationship

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I've noticed that a lot of people think aros don't like physical contact (hand holding, head pats, etc.), and while some don't, myself and at least some others do enjoy things like that. when i told a friend that I do like some kinds of physical contact, they were really surprised to find that I was ok with that. idk but i just don't like the conception that since things like hand holding are considered "romantic", that means that aros can't do things like that/don't like things like that.

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