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About Holmbo

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    Veteran Member

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  • Location
    Nyköping, Sweden
  • Occupation
    Urban planner

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  1. I just had this idea about seeing queerness as a scale rather than saying "that's queer, that's straight" In that case someone who's aro heterosexual cis might be closer to the straight end of the scale. While someone who's for example polyamorous panromantic asexual non binary could be considered to be farther out on the scale. I was thinking that could help fascilitate discussions about priveledge without excluding anyone cause they're not "queer enough".
  2. I thought this article about choosing friendships over romantic partners is well written and engaging.https://www.theatlantic.com/family/archive/2020/10/people-who-prioritize-friendship-over-romance/616779/
  3. Like if you don't know someones gender and want to say they are sexually attracted towards, say, men. Are there any alternative terms like that?
  4. @roboticanary do you have tips for other simpler RPGs? I might want to try playing with my friend sometime. She said she'd like to try RPG but I don't really want to have to set up some complicated story.
  5. Holmbo

    Favourite books

    My favorite book is The Dispossessed by Ursula Le Guin. It's an utopian sci-fi book about a man who lives in a anarchist socialist society and travel to the neighboring planet which society is more like our present one. The language is beautiful and it has interesting philosophical discussions about what freedom is. Although when it comes to recommendations for aromantics my go to book is The long way to a small angry planet by Becky Chambers, Such a cozy book which is all about found family. And the author has made up interesting alien races which she uses to explore ideas gender fluidness, relationships and child rearing.
  6. I'm swedish there's a word Anhörig. Which if literally translated would mean something like bond-belonged. It's usually used to describe relatives but I like that it's kinda open to mean anyone.
  7. I think it's very normal. I've not had that experience myself but I've had other related ones. For example I sometimes feel lost in my life, like I'm fumbling around in a fog, and then I think if only I was allo I'd just follow the allo script of marriage and children and I wouldn't have to think about it is as much. Even though I know that's not actually true.
  8. I like the idea. I might not use it personally though. Maybe there could be some tradition of celebration existing relationships. Kinda like how married people celebrate anniversary. I'm trying to come up with examples but I agree with poster above we'll probably have to make something up.
  9. For me also it's more about amatonormativity repulsion than repulsion to romance.
  10. Welcome! It's interesting how we each often seem to be more at home with one aspect of our orientation. I'm aro graysexual myself and I find sexuality to be muddy confusion I most often don't want to wade into.
  11. Welcome! I don't have much merch myself except for this shirt which I really like https://www.redbubble.com/i/t-shirt/LONGBOW-ARO-by-foxflight/32016679.NL9AC
  12. I feel like this a common theme among aros. The statement that you're ok with being single but you don't want to die alone. What does it even mean? Not wanting to be alone at your deathbed, or not wanting to be alone as one gets older? Or not wanting to be alone if you'd get sick or injured today. Anyways I can't really relate to that fear. But maybe it's just cause I feel like my older days are still so far off. When I get into my sixties I'll befriend some younger people so they can be there for me 😄
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