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About Holmbo

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    Advanced Member

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    Nyköping, Sweden
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    Urban planner

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  1. Sounds interesting! I'll have to check it out. I know what you mean about wishing for something that's not really done. But I feel like now might be the time for it. We're living in interesting times after all. I keep thinking there must be some way to create synergy from all this different problems floating around: loneliness, gender inequality, the environment... That somehow there's a way of living that can solve them all.
  2. Before reading your comment I've never considered that Nicholas Flamel was a real historical person. I've never seen his name mentioned outside of Harry Potter
  3. Based on the setup of the movie it was kinda obvious to me that they'd get together. But because of this it would have been great if they went against expectations and didn't do it. It's very enjoyable movie otherwise though. I used a clip from it in my compilation video aromantic moments
  4. I've often seen ice cream being refereed to as aro food. New members of this forum are often welcomed with green ice cream emojis @Relay I agree, it's the stereotypical breakup/single food and so should be ours
  5. I don't think you have to choose for the rest of your life. You can always change your mind. And sometimes life might change it for you.
  6. I'm not sure what the rules are for creating new pages. Doesn't there have to be a certain amount of visits or something like that?
  7. I'm so sorry you had to go through that. I think it's important to keep in mind that this disconnect of feelings is neither of yours fault. You say that you dissapoint others. But what about what you want? Don't forget that and allow yourself to feel sadness about your friend feeling your feelings for her were less meaningful cause they weren't romantic.
  8. I enjoy kissing, but yeah cuddling is boooring. I've tried the "friends with benefits" relationship and it didn't go well because I got so bored with all the physical stuff.
  9. I also have trouble with understanding why someone would care about sexual monogamy. Before I realized I was aro I used to think that I'd be ok with any boyfriend of mine to have sex with other women.
  10. We've had some threads discussing books without romance and books with aro characters. Perhaps it would be fun to also have a more general book recommendation thread. Recommend any book you want. The only rule is that you must write at least a few sentences on why you think this book might appeal to aros.
  11. Yeah I think I'm on a similar track. I've joined some different groups but I think should also try initiating some activities myself as well.
  12. I hope that @Momo @Arthour or @Phoenix the II will want to take over. I don't think getting the money will be an issue. I'd be happy to pitch in at least a §100 myself. Just let me know where to send it. There would need to be reminders each year though to get in the cost for that year.
  13. I'm feeling a bit adrift at the moment. Maybe you fellow aros can help me. Sorry if it's coming of as a bit of a rant. Feel free to comment about relating experiences, it doesn't have to be about my own personal musings. Ever since I moved away from my parents home, ten years ago, I've lived this kind of temporary life where everything I did was somewhat fleeting. Whatever I did it was always in my mind that it wouldn't last, college, the places I lived, my first job, my second job. I was always looking forward, feeling like the present was a preparation, a saving up for the future where my ideal life could begin. That's not to say I've not been happy. I've mostly enjoyed myself and I feel proud about how much I've accomplished. But now, when I'm close to thirty, I feel like I don't want to live that way anymore. I want to feel like I'm settled. For most people this would correspond to finding a partner and having kids, but I don't want either. When I try to imagine my ideal living situation it's some sort of communal living with a group of people. Preferably with a mission of some kind to promote community building and sustainability. But it's not like such a group is readily available. I've been trying to connect to different organizations to find like minded people but it's hard to know how to seek people out for such a big thing. I also feel like I'm afraid of actually trying to make such a thing happen for real. Because when it's in your mind it can be perfect. Does anyone struggle with similar feelings, wanting to settle down but being unsure about how?
  14. How do you find people interested in polly relationships?
  15. Just saw the new adaptation of little women. It's a beautiful movie but I couldn't help being a little sad thinking about Louisa May Alcott. She would have been much happier had she been alive today I think.

    1. NullVector


      I liked it too. There's a particular scene I found unexpectedly relatable. Louisa/Jo is saying to her mother that she really doesn't want to compromise her freedom by loving a partner in the way her society forces her to; but at the same time, she is "so lonely". And I was like, huh, that's not so different from the modern quandry that amatonormativity places on aros :|

    2. nonmerci


      Well, if I remember, Jo was meant to be aro (well, not use this word of course, but to stay single), but the readers pressure her publisher to get her a romantic partner. And really, the whole story with Laurie is just Jo being romancezoned by her best friend...

      There are romance Louisia Alcott was lesbian because she never get married. But... who knows? She seems to understand pretty well aromantic struggles. And it must have been very hard in her time.

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