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  2. Oh, don't get me wrong, I love Mai. Funny, I don't think I could stand her as a child, I was all for Thea (for some obscure reason that I can't really understand now), and Macuba (yeah, I know, he's a guy; at first I thought he was a girl, and then, I decided that he is one, because I was probably desperate to find some female character lol) (and anyway, watching it as a grown-up, all my favorite characters changed... Thea? Ugh, give me some Mai and Kaiba please!). In fact, that was because I relate to her that I couldn't stand that scene. Like, you have this strong woman, give her some interesting motivations please! (yep, I am not a woman who loves shopping) Oh, also, now that I think about it : Yumi from Code Lyoko too. She doesn't go crazy about love at all (even if this is imply like she and Ulrich are not indiffferent to each other, and that there is kinda of a love triangle with her, Ulrich and William, the romance is treated in a subtile way, it is never clear if they are dated or not and it never has the spotlight... as far as I know, you could tell me she is aro allo, I'd believe you) And if you don't know Code Lyoko, I recommanded it. That's French, but there is an English translation (as it is an anime, I don't think it the translation will bother you)
  3. I say : Jean from Sex Education. Ok, I am probably dreaming because Jean knows about aromanticism but doesn't seem to apply for herself (the word "aromanticism in the show is not say, but there is a episode where Jean explain to an ace girl what asexuality is, and when the ace girl says she wants to fall in love, Jean answers "some asexuals fall in love, other don't", whcich proves she knows about aromanticism a bit; and being a sex therapist, maybe she looks for information about that). But still, the way she is with her "boyfriend" is season 2 is really aro to me : she enjoys sex but not that much the romantic part. Like, there is this scene when she wakes up and realizes how all the affairs of her, and then when he continue to invade her space, the way she shouts "You are everywhere!"... Yep, pretty aro allo to me. Anyway, if not her, I really hope this show will have an aro character someday, or at least acknowledge aromanticism in itself (not as a note in the asexual episode). And if an aro allo, that would be a bonus : I just want to see Othis, the guy who can't picture himself having sex with someone his not in love with, trying to give advice to someone who basically wants the opposite... That would probably made his character grow. After all, they had an allo ace character last season; why not an aro one in season 3?
  4. I actually relate to Mai a lot! She's great. Absolutely everything I wanted to be when I was like 5 years old. I love her so much. Imo though her motivations were more complex, I think the buying clothes thing was mostly just what she told people, not necessarily the real reason she was entering.
  5. For some reason, it made me thought about Yugi-oh... well, not linked to marriage though, but here we go : on the island, you have not a lot of women, and the only important female duellist is Mai, that I really started to love... But then, come the subject of what she wants to win. So, for the guy, you have Yugi who wants to save his grandpa, Joey who wants to save his sister, Kaiba who enters for his little brother, some side characters who does that for honor (other for money, too)... But Mai, what does she wants? The money so she can buy clothes. Like, yeah, that's the only aspiration of a girl : buying clothes! That's sad. And I agree for Padme (don't know the other) : I kinda liked her in the first movie, but in episodes II and III, her whole life is about Anakin... Like, they forgot she is supposed to have a politic role in the story? And my father loves old western, and for me, it full of toxic masculinity, and you are happy when you find a women in there... Really, both genres are bothering me here. I think they try to change that (like, when I compare to the old movies and now, there was improvement... I don't think a show like Orphan Black could have existed back in the days (by the way), but yeah, there are still place for improvements. Movies like 50 Shades of Grey still exist and have success after all... You're not mysognist, it's just that a lot of female characters ar not likeable : in old movies, they are there to value the guys; now there is improvement, but at the same time, the "strong independant woman" will always ended up falling for the guy, no matter how strongly she was supposed not to at the begining... And also, I kinda don't like that, like, if we don't want to date it is necessary because we are some strong feminist who wants to prove she doesn't need a man? Like, it can be just because we enjoy being alone, it is necessarily because we want to prove a point to men? Not just because, you know, we are a person who don't think about men all the time? Also, though female characters are claiming their independance, there are still mostly love interests for guys... Ad to be honest, I was trying to find shows where this is not the case, but I don't find a lot... Though I can say : -Orphan Black, a show about female clones, where the guys are the love interest or the help for the women, not the contrary; romance are really not the center of their existence -Frozen, because Elsa, obviously... Probably Brave too though I can't stand Merida personnaly -Maybe Caitlin from the Flash (not in the first seasons; but it was cool to see in season 4 and 5, she has no love interest at all and nobody cares... don't know for season 6, haven't seen yet) -Regina from Once Upon a Time : yep; she dates during the show, but at the same time, the conclusion for her is that she doesn't need a lover to be happy , she has her friends ans her son for that. (Sorry, I digress from the original topic)
  6. Today
  7. For Me -Dearlie is my comfort aro song I personally like I Don't Need Love by NIIC, Heart Heavy & Alone and Sublime by Mother Mother and I'm Good by The Mowlgi's is a really awesome feel-good aro song
  8. Huruhi be the best gender-queer aro in all of anime yesss Canonically, Lapis and Peridot are in a QPR soooo
  9. My favorite headcannon is Remus from Sander Sides being alloaro He's my favorite character, he's definitely not ace and he's supposed to be the opposite of Roman, who's his brother, and Roman encompasses romantic feelings (now that I think about it, I kinda headcannon him as ace alloromantic cause wouldn't that be nifty?) Anyway, Remus and Elsa from Frozen cause honestly that would be so much better than her being a lesbian in my opinion (and Merida from Brave but I'm pretty sure that's pretty close to cannon so) Can we headcannon that Soos and Melody are in a QPR? AH I loved that game before but now I love it even more!! Thank you, adopting this headcannon
  10. 1. I would like to see an alloaro in the media that isn't made out to be 'shallow' or 'slutty'. Honestly, I just want to see aros represented at all 2. I have not seen anything about aros in mainstream media, I've seen Tumblr posts and website like this but that's about it. I've only recently even heard of the term
  11. So, generally, I;m comfortable with hugging pretty much anyone. Cuddling is one of those things that I think varies from person to person but I know kissing definitely has to do with gender for me. I'm allosexual and into girls and so all my female squishes I've absolutely have wanted to kiss. All my male squishes, however, I have not. I guess kissing is a sexual thing for me rather than a romantic thing. And I see hugging and cuddling as platonic lol
  12. Yeah, I definitely do feel like even as a cis woman, even as someone who is very feminine, I think my experience with womanhood is very different from what an allo woman's would be. Women are so deeply linked with romance, both in that we're seen as objects for men's affections, and also in that we're expected to want it for ourselves. Little boys are taught to dream of being astronauts and firefighters and sports stars; Little girls are taught to dream of marrying a handsome prince. Teenage girls are expected to be boy crazy. When you're someone who doesn't want/do any of those things... It's strange, and a little isolating. One area where this particularly bothers me is media. Stories centered on women are almost always romance stories, and in stories that aren't romance-heavy, what few women are present usually wind up being love interests for a male character. Growing up I worried a lot that I must have been secretly a misogynist, because no matter how hard I tried I could never really like stories like Sailor Moon or characters like Winry or Padme, so surely it must have been because I hated women, right? Now of course I know that it's because they're all too deeply tied to romance, so I don't blame myself for it, but I still wish there were more stories for women like me. It's so disheartening looking at my top favorite characters and thinking about the fact that the vast majority of them are guys, or looking at my favorite stories and thinking about the fact that most of them have very few women. As a side note, have you heard of the term arogender? My friend @arokaladin coined it a while back to describe that concept of gender identity being heavily affected by aromanticism. It might be interesting for you to read about.
  13. 10% to 90% Social Issues: 0% Conservative, 100% LiberalPersonal Responsibility: 0% Conservative, 100% LiberalFiscal Issues: 25% Conservative, 75% LiberalEthics: 0% Conservative, 100% LiberalDefense and Crime: 25% Conservative, 75% Liberal
  14. I love the ice cream one. But for me the food that screams aro for me is a key lime pie. It has both green, and sometimes white. Also that food tastes like life for me.
  15. Hello comment ça va Kandance! (my french is rusty so sorry if mispelled something) I go by Blake here cuz of RWBY fandom. i like snakes too, boa constrictor, racers, and reticulated pythons ^^. Hope that here you can find your specifics, and that you feel comfy.
  16. When you proved to yourself that you where indeed aro, you needed hard evidence to completely convince yourself. Idk any other way to convince myself than to actually try to be in a relationship. Yes the other person could have gotten a heads up, but then the experiment would have gotten biased from their part. In honesty, I don't think you should feel bad for discovering yourself. That sense of betrayal to the other person is a product that could not be avoided. What is important is that you figured yourself out. Also, same when my relationship ended I did not feel heartbreak nor falling out of love, it was just an "oh well now I'm kinda hungry now, wish there was some ice cream"
  17. Hi! I’m Kadence, I’m non-binary (they/them pronouns please) and alloaro. I like girls, cats, snakes and anime. My fandoms are constantly shifting but I’m currently in the Thomas Sanders/Sander Sides fandom (first time in a long time I’ve only been in one!). I’m still trying to figure myself out fully, I know I’m aro, I know I’m allosexual, but the specifics are a bit foggy. I’m also looking for a community I can be myself in, fully, and here seems like the most accepting place. Anyway, that’s pretty much all. Au revoir!
  18. Being curious and being sexually attracted to something are too completely different things. Straight people are often curious about what having sex with someone of the same gender is like and so they ‘experiment’ but, most of the time, they’re still straight. The same thing happens with gay people. Sometimes they discover stuff about themselves, sometimes it just reaffirms what they thought before. Being curious does not inherently mean that you’re allosexual
  19. I used to think I had commitment issues because I didn’t like the thought of being in a relationship for the rest of my life. Then, I found out I was aro and it made much more sense You say we’ve all seen an aro character I some kind of TV show/movie/book but I most certainly have not also, the misconception that we’ve been traumatized or we’re depressed and that why we’re aromantic is that one that really gets to me. As someone who is depressed, no. No, no, no. That’s not how that works at all and how dare you use my depression and my struggle to dismiss my identity. That one really makes me angry.
  20. Celebrity crushes. Every time someone talks about a celebrity crush. Not only have I never gotten a crush but I’ve never understood how someone could get a crush on someone they haven’t even met, only seen from a distance. It’s freaking weird, in my opinion
  21. Dangit could have sworn I looked for a thread before I wrote this. Also YES. This was what I was attempting to describe in not so many words!!
  22. Do you see this topic? As @Jot-Aro Kujo I am a cisgender woman. However I am not feminine. For instance I don't wear make-up (though other girls try to convince me...). I just don't feel the need to do that. I really don't want to add to the stereotype that girls we ar this or that to seduce guys; but I feel like, and this is true for both boys and girls, but gender-coded things are linked to seduction somehow. A girl is considered as feminine when she is "sexy" (make-up, high-heels, skirts, etc). Same for boys by the way, except that the things considered sexy are not the same (muscular, deep voice...). (And it's continue in couples, like the gender-roles are based on who is supposed to do what in the relationship... and not only for straight couples : look at all those homophobe jokes, "who's the girl/boy in the relationship?" Basically saying that you need a boy and a girl in a couple) So really, I feel like agender people are more present in the aromantic community (at least I see a lot here, but, as far as I know, I never met one in real life), and I am really wondering if it is not linked to that somehow. Though of course that is not conscious. It's just : if gender-roles pr coded things are linked to couple things, isn't it logical to not relate to it?
  23. What I meant was not "why do you think he is allo?" bu "what do you think that him being allo means he will refuse to be in a QPR?" My point being : you can't know if you don't ask. 😉 Now I get why you could not want to ask him to be (fear of rejection, fear of scaring him and loin your friendship, fear of creating tension with his girlfriend...).
  24. I would say 3 things : 1) because saying "I'm not interested" and "I'm aro" is not the same thing (you can be allo but not be interested, and aro but interested, though usually we use the label aro to explain why we are not interested); people will think that being "not interested" will change or that it is a weird thing; and also, people will probably ask why I am not interested, or worst make hypothesis on their own (like I am too childish, or I had trauma, whatever) 2) because it came out that way in the conversation... I came put when we a were talking about attraction or crushes; like when this friend told me something about his crushes (can't remember what), and asked me if the same thing happens to me... "Well no, I am aromantic" 3) because most people don't know aromanticism is a thing and it is a way to tell them. I mean, I don't came out to spend awareness, but if the subject is bring, then I'll explain that I am not in couple not because I am not interested, but because I, like other people, don't feel romantic attraction, that this is not the only way to find happiness (aka amatonormativity). Though I will more come out to people I feel at easy with : I won't come out to people if I don't feel safe I think... which basically explain why contrary to you, I am out to my friends and not my family (well, I finally told my mum recently but I had to explain to her why this is valid ; and she is the tolerant one in the family). Also, think about it : Why do you feel the need to come out to your mum instead of saying "not interested"? Probably, the same feeling that pushes you to do this pushes other to come out to other people.
  25. I've been in a good number of relationship (around 3 or 4) but I was confusing strong platonic feelings with romantic feelings and with my very last relationship, I was debating if I was aro before it happened and I guess I used the relationship to prove that I wasn't (which was sh*tty of me tbh). We ended up breaking things off because they didn't feel the same about me anymore and I felt very conflicted with being in a relationship. When ever a relationship ended I didn't feel the "heartbreak" or "falling out of love" feeling, I just was like 'okay see ya I guess' and got over my feelings the minute it ended. I forced my feelings if that makes sense, so when I didn't have to force them anymore I felt relieved. I'm glad that all my relationship happened though, cause they did help me in figuring myself out.
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