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  1. Today
  2. Today I realized that people have had crushes on me. I was told by these people as well as by third parties of this fact. I technically knew, but my brain just comprehended the fact and went, "Hey! People liking you means they had a crush on you which means they had the crush stuff towards you."
  3. Hello! I'm glad you've found this site! Psychopathology sounds super interesting, and I love mushrooms too.
  4. I don't see any problem with it. Labels are just there to give us the language to describe ourselves and our identities, so use whichever ones you want to describe yourself!
  5. Dude, you do too care what people think of you. You can be yourself without trying to prove it to everyone. Also, hold onto your friends, its okay to be the first to reach out. (Also telling myself what to do to avoid some events I'd rather just forget)
  6. Yesterday
  7. Being aroflux is weird... sometimes I like this girl alterously and sometimes I really don't. You feel me?

  8. Hi Oh god that tradition. thankfully my parents have pretty much given up asking about that sort of thing with me but I remember that sort of thing being really frustrating. anyhow, welcome. let your hair down as much as you are comfortable with, we don't bite here.
  9. Welcome! I'm sure you'll find some inspiring stories here 😊
  10. Call yourself what you need to.
  11. If you dont know me, hi, my name is Mac. I call myself a trans guy*. Although technically, I'm a demiguy, a non-binary identity. So, as its probably apparent, I don't call myself non-binary. I've gotten a little bit of confusion over that so I've had time to think... Why don't I? I, in no way, have ever experience the hardships of being non-binary. I've never experience harassment over my identity (apart from transphobes who say i'm going to hell.) I dress almost solely masculine, I use pretty much exclusively male pronouns in public / social spaces. Pretty much, I'm more male than I am agender, so it doesn't make sense to me to call myself NON-binary. I'm more just..not totally-binary. SO, my question- Is it ok that i dont consider myself non-binary, even while identifying as a label under its umbrella?
  12. Hi, I found this site while looking for information for asexual awareness week. I'm Aroace but more confident in my ace identity because my autism means I'm touch repulsed, while I'm still relatively young at 21 so I may end up being greyromantic. I'm quite open about my sexuality because I feel safe in my community and feel that understanding reduces bad feelings, so I try and do my part to try and make sure that the next person that comes out (not that they have to) feels safer doing so and comes out to an understanding ear. I feel like explaining some of my identity has become a part time job some of the time, because aside from being Aroace I'm autistic and a Quaker both of which come with a fair amount of misinformation. Overall I'm mainly here to hear stories from my fellow Aros and gain more confidence in the other part of my identity.
  13. Hiya! I've been around for some time, but it's taken a while for me to post. So I'm finally popping in to say hello! I'm 28 years old and aroqueer. I suspected I was aro since high school, but I finally accepted the label about five years ago and have never looked back. Livin' that academic life and working on my PhD on psychopathology (as in the study of mental health, not psychopaths 😁). I like to read (Brandon Sanderson, anyone?), think mushrooms are cool, and have recently gotten into D&D. I'm really glad to have found this space for aros, especially since it's difficult finding aros out in the wild. It's comforting to read about people's experiences and remembering that I'm not alone 🙂
  14. Thanks for replying, I really appreciate it :D your response to #3 gave me a lot to think about. i actually often find myself fantasizing about being in idealistic romantic situations, but despite the stories my imagination might conjure, when i'm confronted with situations for it to actually happen IRL i feel antsy and distressed :// it's difficult to articulate but i think this captures it well HHHHH: and to your last point, i understand :). i'm still thinking about what to call myself and how to label how i feel at present, but i know these things shift over time so i don't feel that pressured to put myself in a box and stick to it all my life. all i really want rn is to be able to understand myself better really, so thank you for being a big help! :D
  15. roboticanary

    Squish or crush?

    1. as already said, you are not too young. 2. romantic attraction is not wanting to spend time with someone. I want to spend time with my dad. Its fine that you want to spend time with her and not be romantically attracted. It might be worth loooking deeper into types of attraction, for example seeing if how you feel is a better fit with how people describe aesthetic attraction or alterous attraction. If you can find a term that better decribes how you feel than romantic attraction that might help.
  16. I am scared of dying, and scared of being alone, but not together. Also, I generally agree with the idea that we all die alone, even if surrounded by people. Maybe I'm just not afraid because I've always seen it as a fact...
  17. So what did he do before he met you? A related question being how do needs in terms of companionship and life direction wind up so highly romantic coded and centred on a single individual. How come this is considered "cute" rather than "weird", "controlling" or, even "tragic".
  18. This... this explains so much. I have been internally explaining it by placing people into categories with complicated descriptions, but this makes way more sense! It also explains just so many past interactions.
  19. I haven't ever been in a romantic relationship, so I may not be the best source, but I can relate to being super uncomfortable with people expressing those feelings towards me, though not to that extent. It could just be romance repulsion, which is not an indicator of aromanticism on its own. Regardless of the extreme disgust, it seems a bit like [edit: I messed up on terms, it is correct now I believe] lithromantic, where romantic feelings fade upon reciprocation. Of course, no one but you can say for sure, and I encourage you to continue to look into it. I hope this helps. Note: I previously said frayromantic; that is actually where romantic feelings fade upon meeting someone.
  20. Hello, I am wondering if I’m Aro partly because genuine emotions make me want to throw up or feel sick. Let me explain, my boyfriend told me he can’t imagine his life without me and doesn’t know what he would do without me. I feel like most people would think this is cute, it made me anxious and feel ill. I was talking to this dude last year who was like “you Can tell me anything I’m here for you” and I stop having any possible feelings for him because I felt what I Can only explain as cringe go through me and make me want to vomit. I don’t want to hurt my boyfriends feelings but saying things like that back make me feel ill. Am I aro? Is this a thing anyone feels? Or is it just like trama?
  21. Me: has internalized aro/acephobia

    Me: reads to escape from my problems(as per usual)

    Book: forced romance plotlines, unnecessay sex scenes

    Next book: forced romance plotline, unnecessay sex scene, "[romantic] love makes us human" 

    Next book: forced romance, unnecessay sex scene, consistantly repeats the idea that the only humans who can't feel love are psychopaths, has line that sex=love

    People need to come up with better plots so they don't have to rely on that crap to keep most people interested. On the plus side, I have a pretty clear view of where those thoughts come from.

  22. I think that if a calm, civil conversation is possible, it would be beneficial closure for the both of you.
  23. arohoneybee

    Squish or crush?

    Hi! I definitely don’t think you’re too young to start identifying as aromantic. I began identifying as aro/ace at age 15, and now that I’m 18, those feeling still haven’t changed. But just remember, even if you no longer feel a connection to the orientation for whatever reason, it’s not a big deal. Orientations can be confusing and if a-spec is a stepping stone on your way to finding out how you prefer to identify, that’s absolutely okay! On that note, the way you describe your feelings for your friends sounds like a common aro experience, and if it were me, I’d say it was a squish. You also said you didn’t necessarily find her aesthetically attractive, and I wanted to point out that, while common, it isn’t always present in romantic attraction. Yes, romantic attraction does include wanting to spend time with the person, but so do platonic attractions. The way my allo friends and family have described romantic attraction is as follows: There is a certain infatuation that overcomes you regarding the person you are attracted to. You cannot get them out of your mind, to the point where it can become annoying. Many people will fantasize about their crush, usually in scenarios that involve kissing, cuddling, dating, flirting, and sometimes even marriage and kids. Of course, that doesn’t necessarily mean you’re feeling romantic attraction if you experience any of those things just listed. To be completely honest, most alloromantic people describe romantic attraction as something you just “know” is romantic. An inherent knowledge that you have a crush on the person. Because of this, my general aromantic rule of thumb is, if you don’t “know”, then it’s probably not romantic. Also, if you’re panicking that it’s a crush, then it’s probably not lol.
  24. Burned Out - Dodie Supermarket Flowers - Ed Sheeran The End of All Things - Panic! At the Disco I Found - Amber Run (could be interpreted as found family) When the Party’s Over - Billie Eilish Neon Gravestones - Twenty-One Pilots Feel Something - Bea Miller Antidote - Faith Marie Anyone - Demi Lovato Heavy - Linkin Park Brother - Kodaline Panic Room - Au/Ra Somebody Else - flora cash (could be interpreted as platonic) I have a pretty pop-centered taste in music, so these might not work as well for you as they do for me, but I thought I’d offer my favorites that aren’t explicitly romantic
  25. wow you actually put it into words. i honestly didn’t think anyone else felt like this. i adore the way you phrased this, especially the last paragraph. i really needed to hear this. thank you for this post ❤️
  26. How do you do the reveal hidden contents thing?
  27. I want a romantic relationship. As in I want to have that intimacy even though I don’t feel comfortable in one.
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