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  2. That's... weird. I don't even get what she meant by that. Does she thinks aro can't make friends? But she is your friend. Does she also thinks you can't have a sexual relationship? You are aro not asexual. Or maybe she thinks aro can't be upset or sad when we people walk away? She needs to educate herself then. I would also be upset if I were you.
  3. One little thing that I was reminded of recently, There seem to be a lot of things that many romantic people feel uncomfortable doing alone, for example having a meal out. I don't care I'm gonna enjoy myself. A friend of mine asked me if it felt wierd to be in a restaurant alone, I said I didn't care and I had a lovely time.
  4. Today
  5. true, especially cats TPBM enjoys a beer
  6. Hi Rei welcome, hope you enjoy being here
  7. so according to your friend aro people can't get to know others anymore or start friendships, that's certainly the first time i've seen that take. i guess we can't truly comprehend the art of asking someone what's their favorite color 🤷‍♀️
  8. personally 1 looks a little weird to me and 2 is too dark. i think 3 looks really nice though my only complain would be that it kind of resembles the lesbian flag and people might say it's a copy, but other than that it's the one i like the most.
  9. Either 1 or 3 maybe. 1 is interesting because its different to other flags, 3 is nice and bright Personally I find 2 too dark it feels a bit murky and hard to see especially on certain screens. I guess like yeah 3 is a better version of 2.
  10. I've known I'm aromantic for a while, a few years now. I realized that romantic relationships stress me out and I get avoidance and anxiety in droves. So no problem, I'm aro. Cool. But like. I want FWBs. More than one. And a Highlight on the FRIENDS part there. I have one at the moment, who is the worst about communication or meeting up, so whatever its all good. But lately I've been slipping back into realizing that everyone I try to flirt with our start trying to build the kind of friendship I need to be a fwb with someone, stops talking to me for some reason. They get bored I guess, or don't like that I actually try to get to know them. I was trying to vent to a friend this morning and she was liek "Well you're aro" even when I said multiple times I'm talking about making friends first. And she just kept pushing the "WELL YOU'RE ARO" as a reason people who I want to just build friendships with stop talking to me. Like no. I'm not even trying to flirt yet. I'm not even thinking about that yet. I'm just trying to have conversation. I'm in a horrible mood now and I am actually somewhat tempted to go home and work at the house for the rest of the day. I don't think I need anything that is directly in the office. So Idk. Basically I'm just a frustrated Aro who wants to start building fwb relationships and having 0 prospects for that.
  11. Hi! My name is Rei, I'm a 30 yo demisexual, aromantic nonbinary thude. I live in Albuquerque, NM and have my whole life. I recently graduated with a masters from UNM. I work as an office manager for a law firm, where I've worked off and on since 2013. I'm a writer and artist (see my Instagram for my art!) I'm trying to make other aro friends really, and if anyone is in ABQ I'd love to chat over coffee or something. I'm really trying to understand myself and where I stand. I'd love to chat and get to know people!
  12. @Ashe. like @nonmerci mentioned, romantic attraction needs to have a particular target. craving a romantic relationship is not the same as experiencing romantic attraction. for example, the thought of food makes your mouth water. you can look at food and and think it's tasty, and you might even want it, even though you are already full and couldn't possible eat more. that's more or less what cupioromantics experience. we like the idea of a romantic relationship so much that we want to experience something like that, but we just can't. edit: here, romantic attraction would equal to not being completely full and wanting to eat a specific dish because you like it.
  13. Arocalypse does not tolerate racist, queerphobic, or sexist bigotry, as these create an environment that is hostile to the reasonable exchange of views. You may not post hateful, abusive or disparaging content about people's race, national or ethnic origin, colour, religion, gender identity, sexual orientation, romantic orientation, age, or mental or physical disability. This includes, but is not limited to, anything bigoted against 'asexuals', 'allosexuals', 'aromantics', ‘alloromantics’, ‘ace-spec’ or ‘aro-spec’ as identifiable categories. Play nice and ask good faith questions. Bigotry will not be tolerated, nor will explaining other people's experiences to them.
  14. i agree with nonmerci here, i saw someone once define it as this urge/desire to be the other person's everything, that makes you think about them constantly or get nervous around them. i've never experienced romantic feelings so i can't truly describe it (like the majority here).
  15. If you think any kind of intimate relationship has to be romantic, all I can say is: Sorry about the internalized amatonormativity bro, get better soon. (Also might wanna work on the ableism with that “triggered” comment, but hey, one thing at a time.)
  16. this is very true. with the exception of kissing and cuddling, anything romantic is typically seen done with a friend. Makes the whole thing rather confusing, doesn't it? and desire for a romantic relationship is a romantic feeling involved in this stuff. Someone who desires an intimate committed relationship with another person, that's romantic attraction. What else would romance be but desire to bond with someone? As more than just a friend? attraction isn't like crying. It's a pull towards someone that leads to something. With romantic attraction, it's any kind of pull to another person that leads to a desire to be emotionally intimate and committed to be with someone. You desire sharing your life with this person, whatever activity that means. I can see how you're making the statement that romantic coded activity does not necessarily mean romantic feelings are involved; someone could do these things with a friend after all. But if you desire to partner up with someone, that desire is labelled everywhere I look as romantic attraction.
  17. Yesterday
  18. as someone who is aro, I don't think I can. I don't what it is, having never really experienced it. the closest I could get is "crushes," or the butterflies iim stomach feeling.
  19. @Ashe.the problem with "if it looks romantic then it is romantic" is that 1) what's look romantic osn't the same for everyone and 2) it doesn't say anything about the feeling involved. For instance you say Doing things together is not at all romantic for me. You can do things together with a lot of people. A friend, a best friend, your family... And there are people we'll see mire than others because we get along more woth them, but it doesn't mean it is romantic. In fact, a lot of things couples do, we can do it with friends too. It is not the actions that makes the relationship romantic but the feelings involved. Which is the problem with the definition you gave. It kept talking about an "emotional response" but never defines the nature of the emotion, as if there were only one type of strong emotion. Of course describing an emotion is very difficult. But that's still a very important point because when we forget it, it leads to a lot of confusion. For instance, it is said that twins have a strong connection, a "meaningful and significant way" to interact to take your words. Are twins romantically attracted to each other? No. To make it more clear I'll use an analogy. Let's take the action of crying. Usually, it is associating with an emotion : sadness. So people will see someone cryong and assume they are sad. Except that sometimes, people don't cry because they are sad. They can cry because they are relieved. They can cry because they laugh too much. They can cry because they hurt their body. A lot of reasons. So even if we usually associated crying with an emotion, it is not necessary this emotion that leads people to cry. That's the same thing with romantic coded things.
  20. The attraction has to be directed towards someone. If this is just a general feeling like wanting romance in general, it is not romantic attraction. To say it another way, some people loves the idea of romance and are open to a romantic relationship, without being romantically attracted to people. Cupioromantic will explain it better.
  21. I would say it is the feeling that gives you the urge to date someone, usually associating with things like butterflies in the stomach. Or I would say that like there is an attraction that makes people desires sex with a person, the same thing exist for romance instead of sex.
  22. Maybe you can't separate romantic and queerplatonic attraction, but I can. And it's not romantic, it literally has the word "platonic" in it. And here I end this conversation. We just can't understand eachother so it doesn't make any sense to continue. Just don't say that my feelings are romantic because they aren't. Just because it looks romantic to you doesn't mean that it's actually romantic. Things look different from different perspective Have a good day and just learn to respect and not question oriented aroaces and people in queerplatonic relationships.
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