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  1. Today
  2. Welcome! And no, the site isn’t going anywhere. It found a new home.
  3. I'm so excited to have found this place!!!!! There aren't enough exclamation points in the world to express how elated I am to have discovered aromanticism and everything that comes along with it! For years I've been so confused with myself, trying to figure out if I was straight or lesbian or bi or what was wrong because something must be. And now, looking around on this forum, and seeing how everything fits feels SO GOOD! Even though I'm probably not going to 'come out' anytime soon, it just feels so relieving just... knowing. Knowing that there's nothing wrong. Knowing that I don't have to make up crushes for my friends or justify my distaste for romance. I'm just on cloud nine right now and I want to share that feeling, because it's the best!!!! ... On a separate note, is this site shutting down? I saw that it was, but it's April and it hasn't disappeared, so I might as well post while I can, right?
  4. I had a year-long relationship with my co star in my eighth grade production of the Little Mermaid, and I'm pretty sure I just started to project the feelings I'd made up for the role onto him and couldn't figure out that what we had wasn't romantic for a year. When I broke up with him I was so relieved, but the only reason I ended up missing him was that I'd probably never tease him or get meme texts from him again. Also, I hated the PDA, and told him that I was worried it would make others uncomfortable when it was really me who was uncomfortable.
  5. Guest

    Feeling Broken

    create a town is tricky, but taking over an almost abandoned neighborhood either because of cheap real estate prices or simple squatting methods can be done relativelly easilly if you already have local connections and/or a preexisting cohesive community
  6. From my experience, i knew I was aro after I found the term in the internet and did like @nonmerci an introspection. Whenever you like or not romance is ok and doesn't invalidate what you are. What I love about labels is that you can stick it anywhere as long as you want to, and a label is only a description of something, in this case a group of people. If you feel like you belong, then you belong ^^. Also, just like that if you don't lik it, the label can be stripped off and nothing will happen. You can question your identity, but only you will truly know the answer, what the rest of the people can do is help you discover it (here we doing that I think). Character in a book: In a house, a cute human returned from work. As they opened the door, a black cat jumped to the human's shoulder. "Hello furball, guess what will happen today?" they said cheerfully. The cat meowed and purred, and started sniffing the clothes. "Yup, you guessed it, Yang is coming here to pass some quality time with ME not you, muahahahaha". After the monologue, the cute human went to bath, heated some leftovers to eat for dinner and started preparing the sofa for when Yang came. About 30 mins later Yang came dressed in a yellowish dress and beside her was a cooling box full of cheap wine. "I see you brought this year provisions for the marathon, it's gonna be a long one" said the cute human. "You bet it will be, said Yang happily, "btw need to use bathroom so shu shu shu start prepping everything". After some minutes Yang came back from the bathroom and threw herself into the sofa, "Phew, ok im rdy, make some space for me", and started pushing the cute human out of the sofa and looking for the first bottle of wine. "Mate, you make space, this sofa is mine, and it is on!" said cute human while taking a bottle too, Yang took the control and pressed start. And just like that, the marathon started, they where starting the marathon of the year, all movies in chronological order from Lord of the Rings, all extended edition, around 26 hours in total including breaks to go to the bathroom. The only rule is to drink everytime someone unsheathed a sword. Every year, the duo chooses a marathon to do to celebrate their friendship. The tradition has been uphelded for 10 years, 5-5 has been the score of who is the first to fall asleep. When the marathon is over and all the wine is used up, they share their updates on life. This time was not different. "Ha I won this year" said Yang somewhat drunk. "Pfft, in your dreams, I saw you nodding off at the last movie clearly I won" protested the cute human. "Hmmm, so tiebreaker it is, fine where is the tiebreaker?" Followed Yang, and started looking for the black cat. "Eh, furball should be on the top of the fridge? Or in the window" After a few minutes of looking, Yang came with the cat in hands. "Here it is, lets see who is the true winner, same rules as always, if it meows three times or goes to the fridge I win, if it goes to the sofa or meows once, you win". Blake, the black cat, was then put on the floor to manifest its will. It sat, and started licking its paws. "Welp, this is gonna be a long one again" said the cute human, "So how is life? You where looking for that barista right? The one that made you the perfect white chocolate pumpkin latte with double expresso shot. "Yeah! Oh gosh that barista had god hands" answered Yang, "I haven't found her...yet; How 'bout you, still looking for that special someone?". The cute human smirked, "Oh ho, maybe, just maybe I found that someone" whispered smoothly. Yang opened wide her eyes, "Did you????", but before the cute human could answer, a loud sound came from upstairs, Yang jumped, but the cute human only started laughing. "Yup, she is up just in time. Blake! Come here, there is someone that wishes to meet you" and no longer than 10 seconds a shadow was seen from the stairs, and the most handsome dog came into view. Yang just stood there, gazing at the majesticness of that white as snow pelt from the Siberian Husky, and just said: "Nothing is perfect, but...that is very close to it. Umm what happened to the non furry friend of yours? You know, the one that walked in two legs." To that question, the cute human just sighed and said: "Well, it started gucci, lots of sex which we both liked...buuuut at the end of the day, I prefer to be with you than him. Sure, sex is good but he cannot give me what I want the most, to be at peace. I feel that when I'm with you, I am truly me, goofy, loud, and careless. I have told him that I cannot feel love like he feels it, and he is super ok with that, and tries to make me comfortable and give me my space. Not everyone is like that you know? Certainly not any of my exes, not one of them understood me." To all this information Yang could only absorb it, "...damn" was the only thing Yang let out, "well that is more than I expected, holy macaroni, this is so much info, I don't even know how to start, ok ok, first of all, I am super glad you feel that way with me, seriously. Second, you didn't answered my question, Where is he?". To that, the cute human let a laugh and responded: "He is hanging with his friends playing dnd, wont be coming in a week i think, cross state trip, and thanks for...you know not freaking out with me telling you that, you know I would say I oove you the same way I love Blake and Sasha, all three are my furballs. To that, Yang started laughing, "Me a furball?? I only let my hair this long to see if I could find that barista, im sure he mentioned something of my hair that only time we talked, I forgot what it was but maybe he likes long hair. ALSO, where the hell is Blake and Sasha??? I totally forgot about them" the cute human smirked, "Blaaaaake", and then a single meow was heard. "I win". Hope my story helps you. Is based on a true story (with some minor changes, to keep it short). I'm no writer but I tried :3
  7. Yesterday
  8. Little resurrection of this thread! I was wondering if any people here were doing camp nanowrimo right now?
  9. Your points are all good! Do you plan something about the split attraction model too? (I think it can be useful to both ace and aro communities, but even for LGBT+ in general because I think we are not the only people to use it). I saw some people complaining about how even therapists may have difficulties to get that being in couple will not necessarily increase our happiness. So in the same idea of being less amatonormative, I would say : acknowledging that ways to happiness differ for everyone. Thanks for your work!
  10. Can't say better than @pressAtoQUEER. Personally, I figoure out I was aro after I learned the term and then do some introspection. I realized that I don't feel romantic attraction, I think I only had one crush in my entire life. At first, I identify as greyro because of that one crush, and now as aro because, as I said, it was only one crush who was actually different from an allo crush think, so I just decided it didn't count. And I go as aro now.
  11. Your points are all really good, I think you've got pretty much everything in terms of aromantic people, might be good to do the same for the ace side if you haven't already. Thank you for bringing aromantic inclusivity! πŸ₯°
  12. For your consideration - "Show Yourself" from Frozen 2
  13. I have a crazy idea! Let's create a town of just aromantics! They've done something like this in Kenya where women have created a town of only women. So basically, in this town only Aromantics and those on the aromantic spectrum would be allowed to live there. There would be exceptions for cases where we have QPP partners who aren't aspec but want to live with their aspec partner nonetheless. Oh and another exception would be adoption because we can't control a child's orientation, duh. But anyways, this way, we'll never feel alone ever again because we'd be surrounded by our comrades. Our peers. Our community! Of course, creating a town out of nothing is easier said than done. But it's a nice thought to say the least. πŸ™ƒ
  14. 1. For me gender is what I, as an individual, say I am. This is based on the information that I have on the current time, so it may change if new information comes to me. Last year i identified as my birth sex, but i learned about androgynous and it clicked wayyyy more to me than my birth sex (which I questioned through the years but I didn't want to explore that part of me because I was scared that I wouldn't fulfill societys' criteria). Now the expectations from society matters to me the same a blade of grass matters to Pluto. 2. I partially answered this above. For me, I don't care what people think of me now. My gender identity is for my brain and no one elses, and I am happy with what I am now. 3. I sat down my sweet ass and started researching every terminology I could find about gender identity. A couple of hours later, and about 96 oz of black coffee later I found androgynous and knew it was me. Tldr: self exploration and internet. 4. Now, I am not genderfluid, but from what I understand, it is different from the normal experience. First, you do not choose, this means that you may wake up and feel more femenine, and then through the day you may change to feeling more masculine. And then again femenine and so on. The time of change can be from minutes to months or years. It is kind of roulette game that you do not know what the prize will be. Also, i used the binary becasue it is easier to explain, I don't know if the persons experience more than male and female, so any genderfluid is welcome to correct me and give light.
  15. Ok, I am like nonmerci and aepaex, no expert in relationships so what I'm gonna say should be taken with pincers. The matter that she has shared personal information with you, and that she and you are comfy cuddling, can be taken into assuming that you both have a level of confidence for each others. She has said that she isn't looking for a relationship, however, the definition of relationship varies from people to people. You could explain to her the terms qpr, zuchinni and that romance isn't always a must so a relationship can grow. Shared with her your knowledge, then if you feel comfy, tell her what you are scared, that she could potentially put you in a third wheel. She has assured you that the bond between you will remain, but hearing it after you have shared your mind with her could help you. Hope this helps mate ^^
  16. Oh yes RWBY is one of my fave series. It is the one of two who i see only when I am with my friends because we live it up. Reccomend it if you like some really good battle scenes. It started as a small project and was made with CGI instead of regular animation but the art now is some levels above the original. Give it a go ^^ I think you will enjoy it.
  17. Last week
  18. Can you possibly be more specific or maybe write us a paragraph example of what you mean by tell you how we knew we were aro but as if we were a book character? Are you just meaning you want us to write in third person? Or something else? Generally, I want to say that people focus way too much on age. Our identities, who we are - these are not static things. People are dynamic! People change. We grow, we learn, we go through new experiences. New language is created and new ways to connect with people and share knowledge are created. Picking a label now doesn't mean it has to 100% be your forever label. It's okay if the term aromantic helps you out now but you decide to use a different label at any later point - in a few days, weeks, months, or years. You're not doing anything wrong by trying out different labels or using different labels at any point in your life. Also, if you are subconsciously trying to be aro (whatever that means - I'm genuinely unsure), maybe there's a reason for that? Maybe it's okay that you respect your feelings and whatever is causing you to feel this way? It's okay to identify as aromantic because you want to. That's all a part of questioning and exploration and figuring yourself out.
  19. Asexual Privilege: Revival of an Anti-Ace Idea Summary: There was a debate about "asexual privilege" that started in 2011 "Asexual privilege" is an anti-ace idea because it argues that aces are better off/safer for being ace which means ignoring or writing off the ways in which that's not true Now, today, people are saying some similar things in the aro communtiy Sometimes this is explicitly "aces hold power"/are "oppressors" Sometimes this is more implicit/indirectly said I am asking the aro community to nip this in the bud before this idea becomes any more entrenched
  20. I've never liked anyone romantically, but I'm only thirteen years old, so it might just not have happened yet. I don't really mind romance in stories if it doesn't come out of nowhere, and in some cases I like it, but I don't know if that's because I'm used to reading about characters I can't relate to or if I'm just alloromantic. I can never tell when people are dating unless I'm told. Sometimes other people find it obvious that someone has a crush on me, when the idea never occurred to me. I keep trying to figure out whether I'm aromantic or not, but I keep wondering if I'm subconsciously trying to be aro. What I really think would help me figure myself out is if any writers reading this could talk about how they figured out they were aro, but tell it as if they're a character in a book. Thank you!
  21. Guest

    You might be aro if...

    I don't know if this is an aromantic thing or not, since I'm not sure if I'm aromantic, but my best friend ships me with one of our other friends, and when she told me, I basically went "I don't like him like that, just like every other human in existence, but okay" and she said "Yeah, I know" and I said "Okay" and she said "Okay" and we just went on with our lives.
  22. Update: She previously thought she was pansexual but now thinks she might be a lesbian. I don't know why it's so hard for me realizing she may not be up for any more than what we have now since what we have now is already so special but I just really want her as the closest person in my life which I don't feel will be possible if she has a romantic partner and I don't know how to deal with those feelings.
  23. For posterity, the forums were migrated to a new server and live on! Reports of Arocalypses death have been greatly exaggerated.
  24. I have been in one relationship only. 9 months was the time that it ran through. It is thanks to this relationship that I discovered that romance was not for me and the label of aromantic (thanks for this because i wasn't broken). Story time: What I thought where butterflies was really anxiety. They told me that I was cold and unafectionate among other things. They weren't technically wrong, but hey I cant give what I don't have. What I wanted was a best friend, but they wanted much more than that, and that scared me because at the time I wasn't sure what the hell was happening, I just wanted someone to go out, eat, have fun, see a movie, and then repeat the next free day. They wanted to do romance coded things a lot, which I wasn't against but i felt nothing of it (holding hands is just eschange of sweat,and kissing is exchange of saliva) and i told it several times when asked about my feelings toward they. In the end they thought I was afraid of commitment and had betrayed their trust. I was the one that ended it because I understood that I couldn't give what they wanted and I was slowly suffocating from the relationship. Now, that decision was the thing that made me learn from me. Who I was, what I really wanted and that I am not going to get comfortable in a relationship that doesn't work for me. If I couldn't fulfill my criterias, then so be it, I'll keep looking, but never less than I deserve. First me, then the rest of the world, cuz aiming for the best is what I deserve. (My self confidence has improved a lot since the broke up) 7 months of after my relationship and time of self discovery and I found I was aromantic. It clicked to me and I knew it. :3 long post but this was something I wanted to share, my story to help others in similar situations.
  25. i'm highly romance-repulsed if it's directed towards me, but mostly indifferent when it's toward someone else, whether a friend/relative or in media. that being said i don't often use these labels unless it's a topic of discussion, which it hardly ever is.
  26. I am out as aro to 2 people only, my best friend and a friend from university. Both are really good keeping secrets so i won't be outed. Besides that, my family doesn't know and will not know from my mouth. Both my parents want me to have kids and get married, which I will not give them cuz I am not interested. Both are sad but my decision will never change. My answer to the parents that want to guilt trip the kids into having kids is that they get a bed and work on anothee kid if they want grandkids. That they raise another kid to adulthood and try again if that fails, but never force or guilt trip someone into a decision that doesn't concern them,that is plain rude and bad parenting. A parent's job is to raise their kid, nothing more. We as the product of an activity we were not asked about have zero reason to owe them anything.
  27. I don't use any of these for romance, but I do use sex-neutral for my sexuality. I don't really have any feelings about romance in others. Even for as it relates to me, it's kind of strange. I don't feel bad about the romance itself, but I also know it doesn't work out so it's just kinda there.
  28. I use romance-favorable - I'm in a romantic relationship (😊) and generally I don't mind romance in media. However, forced romance or amatonormative concepts (Valentine's Day in particular) still make me fairly upset. From a demiro perspective, I many how many aros that feel some romantic attraction would say romance favorable vs. aros that feel no romantic attraction would say romance favorable.
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