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  2. Wait, "platonic attraction" and "squish" are different things? I thought it was synonymous.
  3. I heard the books are a but different (I haven't read them though), but I can tell you tell he show is amazing. I see what scene @Oatpunk is talking about and yes, that's amazing. All the fandom is all about Anne and Gilbert, but what the show os really about is family and friendship. Anne and Diana's friendship is amazing too. And what about Bash and Gilbert, who are like brothers to each other? I love that show.
  4. Today
  5. The same applies to enjoying romantic relationships depicted in fiction. Also worth asking them what they mean by "a relationship", especially anything they think is "obvious". The idea that aros have somehow lost the ability to experience romantic attraction or are, otherwise, "broken allos" is rather toxic. It's effectively a form of arophobia which avoids challenging amantonormativity and romonormativity. With this kind of meme being directed at LGBTQ+ people in general. (As well as other minority groups.)
  6. Jock betrays best friend after finding shiny sword in woods
  7. I don't have much experience with dating or crushes and I've yet to be in a QPR myself, but, well. It sounds like you and your zucchini knew each other fairly well prior to entering this relationship, which leads me to believe that she wouldn't have been friends with and entered into a QPR with you unless she did, in fact, like you as a person Also, while again I have no personal experience, I am a bit of a Romantic who has read copious amounts of fanfiction (not necessarily the best reference, I know, but I promise its good stuff), and my understanding of crushes is that while they might sometimes be formed based on aesthetic attraction and a limited understanding of someone's personality, that doesn't last into relationships without said relationship falling apart. Your QPR sounds fairly stable other than this insecurity, based on what you've said, so I honestly doubt this is a problem. In the end, though, I'm going to give you the same advice I give everyone who's concerned about their relationship - TALK TO HER Communication is key in any relationship, and the fact of the matter is that if you can't trust her to tell the truth when you ask about these things, you have a problem - be it between you two or just flat out anxiety. If the former, being concerned with her crush on you may be the least of your problems, and if the latter, my condolences my dude, but that's something you have to work on yourself. But the fact of the matter is, you can sit here and worry and mull over her feelings all you want, but in the end all you'll have is your own conclusions. You won't know the truth about how she feels unless you ask her. Hope this helps, and best of luck!
  8. I personally feel it makes more sense to use aplatonic for someone who does not experience platonic attraction. Cause I don't really see a point of having a word for not having squishes. I've never had any and "aro" works fine for me. Maybe it would make more sense to have some term for aros who desire a qpr.
  9. When I was younger I used to try to write fantasy a lot, and I thought romance (straight romance, even, I grew up in rural USA and was therefore Not Very Aware) was an absolute requirement. But I also thought it was kinda stupid. I wrote two decently long stories. In the first, there was a mermaid who, Ariel style, got a crush on a guy and tried to follow him on land (she used a wheelchair instead of some strange transformation thing). But later she found out he was a douche so just became super close "friends" with this other girl instead. (Was it friendship? Dating? A QPR? Who knows, certainly not tiny oblivious me who just really liked the concept of Secret Mermaid Friend and a fun knit lap blanket to keep her tail warm and covered.) In the other, the lead pretended to like a guy cause he really liked her and so she thought she'd give it a try, but then he tried to kill her so she stabbed him and ran off with her best friend, who happened to be a dragon. Yeah, I definitely should've noticed I was aro sooner than I did.
  10. So, I'm aroace (completely and totally, I've never had anything approaching a crush in my life) and currently in a QPR with a fantastic and amazing person. It's the first relationship I've been in and I really care about her a lot--more for her mind than anything else. I love the bantering, inside jokes, hugs, holding hands, etc, and tho I don't have a crush on her, the...queerplatonic? attraction is up there. But I'm still not a romantic person (no rose colored glasses or hearts in my eyes, I've gone into this relatively clear headed, I think). She's biro and demisexual, and definitely has feelings for me in both ways. I don't really feel pressured into doing anything, I know we can work together to find where we're both comfortable, but here's the thing: if she has feelings for me, how do I know that she actually cares about ME. Like, I've never had a crush or sexual feelings, but I know that sometimes they come without actually liking the person. People get crushes on people they don't even know, and see them as better than they are because of it. I went into this knowing her flaws and mine, and knowing that she was a person I wanted to be with regardless. But without having a crush, would she have done the same? I just. Crushes sound so FAKE. Like oh wow a person I barely know, guess I've got butterflies and want to be with them all the time. And I know they happen, I guess, but I have no idea and no context for whether those feelings mean something. Are they even real? Would she like me without them? If they go away, will she realize that she doesn't like me enough? I just. Yeah. Would appreciate input from both aros and alloromatics. Cause I certainly have no clue what the hell I'm doing.
  11. Since aromanticism feels so normal to me, aro women on average don't stick out compared to other women in any way. I mean, if I hear "X is aromantic" I don't get* an instinctive reaction of "Whaaat?" when it's revealed that X is a woman. Never imagined that someone would identify as agender because of aromanticism. But yes, online you often see those two together...
  12. Yesterday
  13. :3 then lookng forward to it. Also yeah, sometimes we alone, but I like that we can come here each day and find new things.
  14. Love your profile pic. and indeed those moments are beautiful. I would love to have them once per month tho ^^ no more than that. As someone who has insomnia I can tell you that sometimes you only want to sleep some nights. But I agree with you that the world want us to do everything faster. To maximize time. So when you can take it slow, relax and enjoy a good cup of cofee/chocolate and a good reading, it is blissful.
  15. Bad if those two meanings get confused: That word is a minefield.
  16. Old thread I created for a different topic veered into this one and got locked, so I got permission to create a new thread. Some ways that people have used this word (aplatonic) before: does not feel friend love/does not use the word "love" for friends does not experience platonic attraction does not experience platonic attraction or form platonic bonds does not experience "squishes" or does not desire a queerplatonic relationship does not desire a queerplatonic relationship or a sexual friendship does not experience "squishes" or does not desire a queerplatonic relationship or a sexual friendship The earliest of these uses is from 2012, where it's proposed by a homoromantic user on AVEN. I'm not actually sure where the uses of it started shifting in the direction of attraction or partnership, but that seems to have started around 2014 at the latest. Are there any other uses/definitions you know of that aren't listed here? Related reading: @Mark's poll on squishes Aplatonic is for neurodivergence? I don't get emotional attraction Origin of the slang use of "squish" Origin of the word "nonamory"
  17. That lady sounds so lovely! My older brother has a friend who has never been into anybody sexually and romantically but he's "dating" this girl simply because they love each other so strongly platonically. Idk it's just sweet the way they worked something out. It also shows that Aros can thrive with or without partners. I've heard so many good things about Anne with an e! I'm honestly not sure why I haven't started watching it yet lol but I read the books (Anne of Green Gables) and I'd probably enjoy the show too :D
  18. God, yes!!! I know this middle aged lady who is living single with her dogs, just doing fun things and living her best life without showing any interest whatsoever in finding a partner and it gives me life! I think this is partially why my whole entire heart is filled with Anne with an E. It has such a heavy focus on found family and specifically has an episode where her dad turns down the romantic advancements of a lady he seems to like a lot because the greatest love in his life is his family and he will never let anything get in the way of that. I cri.
  19. Damn, it's just you and me, Blake. Alone in the arocalypse! Also, yes, you will cry! A lot! But it's a nice cry. A cathartic cry.
  20. There are few things as validating to me, as a young aro, then learning about older relatives/ mutuals who are happily single and still enjoying life. The world is so romance driven that I just love hearing about people who are happy in the future I'll most likely have
  21. I really enjoy the calm moments in life when you are not needed to do everything. Things like being up in the middle of the night when you're allowed to do whatever you want alone, reading, just listening to music in your room etc. The world is so fast and we always have the next thing to do that I just absolutely love those calm moments
  22. Yassssss. I don't want to see the season finale because i know I will cry and then I won't have a series to pick me up
  23. Once I knew the answer, but now i do not. But that feeling is so amazing for me that I love it each day with the same intensity.
  24. For me it wasn't a click click. I was looking at pinterest boards and there was an aroace comic strip and it mentioned aromantic. Got curious and looked it up and each word of the AUREA definition was a fit. And I said: "ohhhhhhh so I am not broken!, yay". And then found this website and started to read the threads and become more informed. So yeah, it was like the road was foggy and suddenly the fog became thinner and thinner until it dissipated. And yes, I was really happy. I still am, but saying that it is always joy would be false. There are times I long to have a meaningful relationship with someone, even though I have friends who support me 100%. The feeling that your friends will someday go and find a special someone and you will be left behind like a last potato chip in is real. But don't let a single emotion dictate your entire future. Enjoy the present and who you are, first we have to be as whole as possible before even starting to work on the world. Everyone grows at their own pace. Comparing a rich boy from California with a middle class boy from Istanbul is hard. The way the both are raised is different. What they eat/do/see is totally different. Maybe the rich boy throws parties each weekday, while the middle class boy barely has time to eat. At age 9, both of those boys will have different experiences, and so will they see things from a different perspective. But to ask your question, yes, there are persons who started with being orientation A and changed to orientation B. The reasons are their own, maybe they felt more identified with B than A and changed. Maybe they are experimenting, but that it can change, it does. Sexuality is fluid, it is not a straight binary, think like it as a painting. A bit of orange here, and touch of gray here and a whole lot of purple over there.
  25. A 6000 feet tall aromantic fire squid demon and a nonbinary AI adopts a group of humans in order to save them from an eternity of penis bees.
  26. I'm an atheist and have been for most my life. Both my parents are religious but 1. they're not super devoted and 2. they have different religions, and I think both those things contributed to why I decided to run my own race when I was still a kid. I did briefly dip my toes into norse paganism to get more in touch with my roots and with nature and it was a really healing experience. And though I ultimately decided that it's not for me, I think religion overall can be a wonderful thing that brings people together and encourages us to live in the present and be kind. It's frustrating that some conservatives are using it as a shield to hind their own vile, inhumane ideals behind. I don't think my aromanticism has affected any of my opinions, though.
  27. Honestly, there are few things I love as much as carrots. 🥕🥕🥕 They're so crunchy and satisfying, just as they are! Another thing that makes me feel super great is american football, but I've never met anyone outside my team who doesn't think it's boring, scary, or both. I also think cleaning my ears feels nice, so you're not alone there. It's probably because the skin in the ears is so sensitive?
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