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  1. Today
  2. Like what was said above only you can know what you truly want and there's nothing rushing you to know what that is right now. Sometimes things like this take time and reflection to understand what you want in the end and that's okay! Personally, I do want a life partner at some point (but with certain boundaries, I do still need my alone time lol) but not everyone does and that's just as valid! It's your life and you should live it however makes you the most comfortable.
  3. I feel like I've asked a lot of questions recently but here we go. Looking back at when I was younger, even a few years ago, whenever I pictured and dreamed about getting married, there were certain things I always imagined. What my dress would look like, what the food and cake would be, and even the decorations. The one thing I could never picture was who would stand at the altar with me. Whenever I imagined that part of the wedding, it was supper blurred (like pixelated to the point you cannot tell anything about them. Gender, hair, clothes, etc) or just nothing there. I didn’t know that wasn’t normal until my friend was talking about her dream wedding and how when she dreamed about it, there was a woman standing there with a dress and stuff! I was shocked, but looking back, it makes a lot of sense. Lol. Has anyone else had something like this where they imagine their wedding but never who they’re marrying? Or is it just me?
  4. Thank you! This helped a lot! (And I agree. I’ve always imagined my wedding, from planning it and my dress, food etc, but I’ve never been able to picture someone at the altar. It’s always been a blur or just nothing. Lol. Looking back, it might have been a hint!)
  5. So At the beginning of the quarantine, (March) I began to really look into my sexuality. I then realized that I was aroace. I’ve come out to one of my close friends who’s a lesbian and was the main person to encourage me to investigate my sexuality. However, when I have recently thought about coming out to anyone else, I get a slight panic attack. If I think about my mother, she has always been very pro-lgbtq, very open, and she was really open and nice to my gay friend when she came out. I know she knows about asexuality because I heard her talking about it to one of our family friends one time when they were talking about the LGBTQ spectrum ( i didn’t hear the details). However, I always feel like if I were to come out to her, she wouldn’t be as accepting of me as aroace as if I was gay for example. I don’t know if this is because of romance normativity and such but I feel like she would be really disappointed. But my main point, sorry for taking so long to get here, lol, is that whenever she and my family/family friends talk about me getting married or dating or having kids it makes me sad because I feel like I’m getting their hopes up. Any recommendations on how to tell her this without revealing anything? I don’t think I’m ready to come out yet, as I still have some internalized fear of being aroace, but it hurts every time it’s brought up. Thanks!
  6. Back in highschool I was vegetarian for a year and then transitioned into vegan for another year before abandoning it. It wasn't extremely sustainable for me because of my family situation but now I'm a flexitarian and try to eat vegetarian or vegan a large majority of the time. Hopefully when I move out at the end of the year I can be fully plant based!
  7. First off, I'm sorry she reacted that way, my mom is very much the same and its frustrating so I know where you're coming from. I feel like I would find historical examples of why that's not true. Maybe information about the history and how common different relationship forms are around the world to dispute the fact that we must "pair up." For example there is a matriarchal community in southwest China called the Mosuo who have no concept of the nuclear family model or marriage and practice what's called a "walking marriage." "Men and women practice what is known as a “walking marriage” – an elegant term for what are essentially furtive, nocturnal hook-ups with lovers known as “axia”. A man’s hat hung on the door handle of a woman’s quarters is a sign to other men not to enter. These range from one-night stands to regular encounters that deepen into exclusive, life-long partnerships – and may or may not end in pregnancy. But couples never live together, and no one says, “I do”.' While scientific research isn't necessary to validate aromantic experiences or any other experiences that are negatively impacted by amatonormativity, I find that people who are closed minded to topics like this tend to require proof that not everyone is like them and that alternate ways of thinking and doing things are valid and functional. Hopefully responding this way will open them up to the idea that their beliefs aren't inherently correct just because that's what they've always done and been taught. That's the goal anyway! Good luck with your project though it sounds really interesting! Source: https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2017/apr/01/the-kingdom-of-women-the-tibetan-tribe-where-a-man-is-never-the-boss
  8. So basically, I am doing a project for school that talks about the impact of amatonomativity. I told my mom about this because she had been helping me choose a topic, and her response was...less than great. She then proceeded to state that it is in human nature to "pair up." I told her that that completely ignores a lot of people (specifically I mentioned polyamorous relationships and she interrupted me before I finished with anything else). She responded that "there will always be aberrations" (I had to look up that word, and it does not have any definition that could really be excusable for use in that context). So yeah, that was great. But I have this topic for the whole year, and this conversation is going to come up again. How should I proceed?
  9. Yesterday
  10. I'm vegan, but I was raised vegetarian so it wasn't a big leap. Animals suffer so much from the dairy industry as well, and I had trouble staying vegetarian and turning a blind eye to that. I was already eating almost entirely vegan before I switched, so it's never really been a big deal to me!
  11. I think what people get confused on with being allo-aro, is that is doesn't mean that we want meaningless sex, it means that we can look at someone and feel sexually attracted to their body. The definition of asexuality is not not wanting sex, it's not feeling sexual attraction. I know for me, as an allo-arospec person, I don't desire sex without a close relationship, so if I never form one, I don't really need sex. But that's just me. It's also totally okay to just want sex without a relationship! The idea that having sex with out love makes you dirty, or a slut, is harmful to so many people. The LGBTQIAP+ community is supposed to be an open place for all people who don't fit in with the "norms" of sexuality and gender. If we gatekeep, we don't just hurt the people we're keeping out, but we hurt the community, because the LGBTQ+ community is only strong if it's inclusive.
  12. Never need sleep at all, I can be more productive. WYR be allergic to your favourite food or only be able to eat food you hate?
  13. 1. Having some psychotherapy ongoing on topics that could explain or reinforce aroness. At one point I had to decide that, symptomatic or not, it has been a part of me since my teens so I could identify with it. 2. Not feeling invested in aro community advocacy, while I'm honestly more active in the asexual community even though it is not my primary orientation. 3. Not being fully romance adverse in art or litterature.
  14. Hello. Don't take the criticism and drama to heart. You care about the situation so you are likely a good person. But you are the way you are, full stop. If you don't like your situation you could try getting some help but from a professional. I don't think that it is that unusual to loose interest when you realize that a case is closed. It helps to turn the page. Some people are quicker than others doing so. Some other people need another romance to forget the first one, one month or one day later (those last can also be the target of sarcasms). I don't have romantic attraction but my other attractions are also strongly influenced by some key parameters. The first parameter is mutual respect and the next is dialogue. If I can't get some kind of reciprocity I get hurt and that shock simply cuts the line. My therapist told me that I have issues with 'rejection' and tbh it explains a lot of things about me. But it rather means that I'm oversensitive and certainly not heartless.
  15. I found a copy of the quiz at https://s3.amazonaws.com/aws-website-jamesleonardpark---freelibrary-3puxk/RLT-WEB.html
  16. I'm not very romance repulsed and I actually crave a romantic relationship really strongly. I'm not very content being aro and being without a romantic relationship as a lot of aros tend to be that I've noticed. I really admire aromantics who don't want relationships at all. It would be a lot simpler for me if I felt that way lol but I also feel slightly aliented from parts of the community because I don't share that lack of desire
  17. Congrats on figuring yourself out! I also like drawing and reading! Also, have some B&J!
  18. Last week
  19. This survey will ask questions about what it's like to have autism & be asexual &/or Aromantic and the other way around with questions on orientation, discrimination and others. Data will be used to help make a YouTube video on my Aro/ace related channel about the Intersectionality between autism & being asexual &/or Aromantic as someone with autism who is Aromantic. All responses will be kept anonymous. Link
  20. Banned for including mirrored letters in your name
  21. The dolphins say 'So long and thanks for all the fish'. They leave and earth is destroyed. I wish I could drink as much beer as I want without getting drunk.
  22. Banned for using the same 'c' for 'robotic' and 'canary'
  23. Definitely not keen on the name gros. either too close to gross in english or as @nonmerci says, fat in French (and I'm pretty sure similar in other European languages). grace for grey ace works, that sounds fine, but really not keen on gros when greyros works fine.
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