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nonmerci

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About nonmerci

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  • Name
    Nathalie
  • Orientation
    Aromantic
  • Gender
    Female
  • Pronouns
    She
  • Location
    France

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  1. I would say there is dark humour in it. It take trope of romantic movie, but bring them to the point that is no sane at all. Yep, I saw that type of comments in média and this is disgusting. I don't know if this is identification or connection, but I saw some people défendons his actions and... I am concerned about this. I think it is because the show really makes you enter the logic of this character, who see himself as a "nice guy". This is the genius of the show, but also concerning as some people are seeing his actions are romantic when they are not, this is possissiveness and control. I suppose it shows how some alloromantic are quick to forgive things if they are done in the name of what they call "love"... and so it shows how people have not sane ideas about romantic love. And some reactions about season 2 finale tends to show that some of these people also think that it is to the man to protect his love interest, not the contrary. Which shows some archaic view about romance too.
  2. I love it! I think it's even better than part 1.
  3. So I complete the part on aronormaitvity and I try for the part "In the media", but that's difficult due to the lack of canon. So I talk a bit about Jughead. I thought about Sheldon Copper but I didn't talk about how this is non official at all. If anyone has some official canon, I'll be glad. Anyway, tell me if this okay for you, @Magni and others. In particular, I am not a native English speaker, there must be some grammar mistakes. I don't have a lot of knowledge of aro history and all that, so I didn't dare write about it. If someone has better knowledge... About symbols, we can talk about arrows and white rings too, maybe?
  4. I suppose it comes from latin? Makes me think of the verb amare that means to love. But I'm not an expert so I'm not sure.
  5. Personally, I just don't care about the ace part. My reaction when I read the definition of asexuality was "wait, this is just that? then I am!", and after a few reasearches it was just "yeah, whatever". On the contrary, being aro leads to more questioning and denial at first. I think it's link of how I view sex and romance. For me, sex is just an activity, and if I don't do it, I don't care. But I see romance more as a way of life : it implies to live together, to make plan together, etc. So I see the lack of attraction for that has more impact in my life than the lack of sexual attraction. I suppose allo aros and allo aces don't think like that because society link sex to romance anyway, and if I lived in a society where I was expecting to have sex while not in couple, I would probably think differently too. Also, I know that their are aro aces for who this is as or more important than romantic attraction for them. Because you still have the pressure of society to feel sexual attraction, that some people talk about it all the time... And I'm not saying it has no impact on my life neither. But if I compare to what aromanticism is for me, well, asexuality is less important.
  6. Here I am again! So, I couldn't find videos, but the episodes are on Netflix. Season 2, episode 4, at 2.05 : when Jean woke up and realizes the things of her boyfriend are everywhere in her chamber. I didn't remember it was so short though, but I think it can be fun if you can edit with some text explaining what she has in mind. Also, at 3:20, in the same idea, she asks him to take his things. However, my favourite scene is in the next episode, at 15:33 (well, 16:00 exactly but the scene stats there), when she shouts at him that his is everywhere and she has no place for her... (I didn't remember it ended with her saying she kissed her ex-husband though). Again, as I said, it is more "she is afraid of commitment" than "she is aro allo", but I suppose some aro must feel invaded like that when the friend with benefit becomas a boyfriend. Also, while searching, I realized season 2 episode 4 was the episode were they explain what asexuality is. So of course, it is ace and not aro, but in the scene that begins at 45:45, Jean says that some ace falls in love, some other doesn't. If it can be used. Finally, I am watching Anne with an E (very good show), and there is this scene in the episode I just finish, season 2, episode 4, 42:09. Also, non of the character are aros, and I don't know how it will evolve. That's a scene between Anne and Matthew, her adoptive father. And what he says to Anne then is so sweet and against amatonormativity as it places familial love on the same level as romantic love. Don't know if that fits, but I hope so.
  7. I think you just wondering all that because that's an important subject for you. So you want to write it well. Things you ware abour are always more difficult to write, that's normal. About spending to much time on it, I'd say it depends on what you are writing. And what you want to write too. For instance, I started many projects, not always finished them, but I had a few aro characters now. The time I spent on that really depends on the characters and what I do with them. For one, he just says at a point of the story he is aroace; for another, it is implied but I don't know if I will focus on that because the character is in lot of other troubles. And for another, I haven't say she is aro allo because she is 12 and not aware this is a thing, but I am thinking about sequels where she'll grow up and realize what her orientation is. And then, I'll spend time on it, to do it well, to explain things to her and to my reader. So really, "too much time" is only define by what you decided to do, or the importance your characters are giving to this. For being confusing, yeah, it could be. Because it is something people are not familiar with. But if you explain well, or if it is good writing, there is no reason that this is confusing. It also depends on how deep you go in the details about the orientation. But if I have an advice : trust your reader. I've done a lot of beta-reading, and yeah sometimes I saw confusing things; but really, most of the time, I see things that are very clear but the writer explain too much because they fear it isn't. So trust yourself. If you make it clear, it will not be confusing.
  8. nonmerci

    Can you become aro?

    We had a discussion on that subject on the pas, here. Personnaly I think I am born aromantic, and for what you say you could have to. But maybe you became, who knows. It is possible I think.
  9. As a child, I wanted to be a billion things, but one never change : become a writer. I just had so many stories in my mind, I love to write them, make them consistent, and see how people react to it; somehow give life to the characters. However, I don't know where you live, but where I am, it is almost impossible to live only as a writer. People who does write a lot and live on conferences or talk they do, in particular in school for the people who write book for children/teenagers. It's a lot of work, and not well-paid. But one day, if I have the chance, I wish I could live on my writings. You say dream career after all.
  10. Worst was when I said no and the guy threatens of commit suicide... Then I told his mother so she handled it, and ghosted him. On a lighter note : there is the other guy who asked me out. I really disliked him. So when he asked, I just say "No, sorry", and go away like a badass. (in fact, the guy was actually nice and we were friends during a year; though he still had feelings he never asked again) I don't know if this is my worst rejections, I don't have a lot more. I'm not a very demanding person I guess. But I don't mind.
  11. Same. And it's even worst when it is about characters of the same gender, or who have different origins, because then if you don't ship them, it is necessary because you are homophobic or racist. I recently see people that homophobia is the only reason why some people don't ship Sherlock and Watson, for instance. The same way, I am a lot in a TV show named Merlin. The main character never dated anyone, and I canon him as aro, but I felt alone because any video I see on youtube is about how he and Arthur are totally in love. But I see them in a QPR or an amazing friendship, and I feel so alone. Same for Good Omens that I am reading.
  12. I have some thoughts but I have to look for the scenes. I canon Jo from Little Women as aro (due to the fact that she only gets a husband at the end because the author was pressured to), but I haven't seen any movies, I read the book, so I don't know if there is any aro scene in it (probably when she rejects Laurie?). I also see some aro scenes with Jean in the show Sex education. I don't think the character is aro, it seems she is more afraid of engagement. But there is a episode where she really sounds aro allo to me (or I imagine, I'm not allosexual) : getting upset because her "boyfriend" is taking place in her house, the classic "friend with benefits is catching feelings on you". If you are interesting I can look for the episodes and the scenes that I am thinking about.
  13. When it comes to aromanticism people can dismiss how you feel, but it is even worse when you are in the grey area... (even in the aro community you can find people who'll think your experience is the same as alloromantic people, so outside the community... I can't even imagine) About therapists, I don't know if it's rare but there must be some who can react better than that. I don't expect therapists to know everything on this subject, but when you don't know something but had to for your work, you have to make reasearches before judging. I don't know how to feel about the fact they adress you to him because you are both NB? It seems they expected your experiences will automatically be the same, and that he will get you... Which is not always the case (and is not, from what you said). Anyway, I think you should talk again about that : trust is the key in therapy, it can't work if you are not comfortable for talking about this kind of subject. Maybe it's just a misunderstanding. And if it's not, well, it is up to you to define if you want to keep this therapy or not.
  14. Hi all! Thanks to all the people who responded or offered help. Sorry, this thread was a bit dead. I was busy last weeks (for the little story, I was doing nanowrimo and I write so fast I didn't want to lose my rhythme so I continue this month, while preparing exams with university online even though I didn't know when this exam will be because of Corona... now I finish my first draft and the story is out of my mind, I know the dates of my exam which is less stressful,, so I have more time). Anyway, I'll look at all you said, and then let's try to write this article.
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