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About nonmerci

  • Birthday May 27

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    teacher/librarian... yes, both at one, I don't think there is en English equivalent

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  1. The title makes me laugh. So accurate. I should use this someday. I think it refers to the expression in their eyes, but I do admit it can be confusing sometimes. I remember a tv show that posted a picture of two characters looking at each other. That was the first time they met and they never appeared together in the show. But the fandom was already crazy about this ship and we'll get upset if you don't share their point of view. Even if the only interactions they saw was this picture of the two characters looking at each other! That was crazy.
  2. Twice. First time when I was 12 or 13. I hated the guy at the time, so I just say "no, sorry", and I go away like a badass. It must have been embarrassing for my friend who organized the whole "ask out" thing because she was sure that me saying "I hate this guy" meant "I love that guy", for some reason. And the fact that I think about my friend's embarrassment, more than the embarrassment of the guy who were dumped in front of her, is a probably a very aro thing. Second time it was a guy who followed me through whole high school, and when he asked me and I refused, he threatened to kill himself... Fortunately it was by e-mail, so I just talked about that to his mum so she takes care of the situation, and I never spoke to him again.
  3. First times I saw the term I thought it was meant to mean psychopath, and that the people involved really thought it meant that... The fact I saw the term used to say how characters like Voldemort and Light only cares for themselves and are willing to sacrifice anyone because "they can't love" didn't help at all. And I remember a tv show that talked about it... only to say that aro people are just people who fear commitment. Thanks you television. I've seen people arguing that romance is not a norm, that there is only a cis-hetero norm, but I disagree. Amatonormativity is real and is a big problem in our societies, and even more for us aro people. But at least we have a fantastique community and we can be there for each other.
  4. I'm wondering on what you based yourself to say this? Just curious. Personally, not feeling romantic emotions doesn't prevent me to empathize with others. Anyway I think aros can understand romance. Some do, some don't, but it sayd nothing about how much "aro" you are.
  5. There are "oriented aroace" who adds things like straight, lesbian, etc, to their labels to speak about other attraction they feel. Also you can use panaesthetic I guess.
  6. An allosexual is someone who feels sexual attraction. It doesn't precise to who. An allosexual can be heterosexual, pansexual, etc.
  7. Apparently, 11/11 (so tomorrow) is single day. For me it is armistice most and for all, and I'm not sure I consider myself single anymore though I am technically single... But anyway, I wanted to share.
  8. I think that before asking him to date you, you should ask him why he is avoiding you.
  9. That's the main reason why I'm not sure I want biological anymore. My parents want me to ha e children, but me "creating a child without a dad" as my mother says? No way. I also remember how the concept of being virgin and pregnant was strange to her. But wi admire you for doing it, and congrats fir the pregnancy!
  10. From an a e perspective, I don't think people saying aro can feel sexual attraction is a problem at all, and I surely don't feel alienated cause of that. In fact, I think this is something we should talk about more, because usually, allo aros are the ones who feel alienated in the community. I mean, even I am pissed to see that everytime I searched for aro content, I automatically find also ace content as if it was the same thing. If Iam pissee by that, I can't imagine bow allo aros feel. Also I think the way these phrases are used are different. "We can still fall in love" has history of beong used as "see, we are not weird, we are still able to deel that wonderful feeling that makes us humans". Maybe all people didn't use it like that, and that it os less used this way, but it still has tu is connotation for a lot of people. Also it has been used in a way that shows no consideration for aro people in a case like militating for ace representation in Riverdale, with aces saying how Jughead can still be ace and in love wIth Betty, ignoring that the fact that a lot of aros consider Jughead to be aro as well and were equally hurt to see he wasn't represented that way... So even if the phrase should not be harmful because it important to explain that aces are not necessary aros, the way it was used made it negatively seen by a lot of aros. On the contrary, I never saw allo aros using "We can still feel sexual attraction" to mean "look we are still humans". Which makes this perfectly acceptable for me. I never felt alienated by it as an ace and, I said before, I even thinkèit does good to our community, because it helps to separate it from the ace community so aro can be seen as its own thing. So yes, they are kinda the same sentence, but at the same time, they are not at all the same sentence.
  11. I don't feel this way. If you think this is depersonalization or derealization, you can speak about this with a therapist : they should be able to tell you if it is this, and it is not, if it is something else. Thennit will be easier to find people who relate, and to find the help you seem to look for.
  12. It is hard to say without context. Aroflux is a possibility indeed. It could also just be the evolution of your feelings. How frequently do you experience crushes? Are there periodswhen you will feel romantic attraction, and other periods when you don't? If you feel it, how long does it last? Maybe answering these questions can help.
  13. So anyone is doing it this year? Good luck if you do!
  14. I played a game, it asked the synonyme for "available". An accepted answer was "single". My reaction :
  15. I wonder if it is linked to how society portray sex and romance. For sex, society insists on the act, and for romance, it insists more on the feeling (that is portrayed as best thing in thé world). The value attached to it is different, too. For sex, we are all supposed to want it and think it is good, but also encourage to respect our boundaries and to not engage in it if we are not comfortable. With romance, society doesn't portray it as something you should not do if you don't feel like it, but as something pure that can only do good. I don't know, I'm just guessing.
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