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nonmerci

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About nonmerci

  • Rank
    Veteran Member
  • Birthday May 27

Personal Information

  • Name
    Nathalie
  • Orientation
    Aromantic
  • Gender
    Female
  • Pronouns
    She
  • Location
    France
  • Occupation
    teacher/librarian... yes, both at one, I don't think there is en English equivalent

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  1. If you think her boundaries are not clear then you should discuss together about what you are both comfortable with. That would benefit to both of you. And that's okay if you can't have a life without sex or romance. However I think you should admit that the sex and romance doesn't have to be with her and will not be with her. As at @Jot-Aro Kujosays, there is a lit of alloromantic people out there. There is the myth of "the one" but you will find other people you will "click" with in your life. But you won't if you don't let her go because you expect something she can't give you.
  2. I hesitated because it nos a big thing, but I am still furious and I need to complain lol. So, I am French, so I watched English-speaking show dubbed in French or with French subtitles. I can read English but it is harder to understand when people speak, though the more I hear th more it gets easier. I was watching Bojack Horseman (which is an awesome show by the way) with English subtitles. In this show, a character is discovering his asexuality. So there is the episode where this character thinks that asexual can't get married. Another character explains that some cha
  3. I think she sees you as a close friends, that's why she shows affection. Aromantic tends to valueire friendship than others and so put mire affection into it. However it can be true for anyone. If someone is your friend, it is natural that they want to spend time with you. It had nothing to do with romance. That's why I don't like the concept of friendzoning, by the way. It sounds like the only reason people spend time with each other is a potential romance and then the relationship has no value if it doesn't evolve that way. This is not true. People can spend time with each other for fri
  4. You can use analogy to explain. If tomorrow, a gay person in couple say to a single gay person "you don't belong to in the LGBT+ community because you are not in couple and so you are straight passing", would they think it is acceptable? You can also say that there are different ways of being oppressed. Risking verbal and physical agression by walking in the streets with a loved ones is of course one of the biggest and most dangerous, nobody denies that. But there is also the feeling of not being normal, of being alienated in a society that don't understand, being lost in a world that den
  5. Yes, true about la sexualité and l'asexualité. I forgot that but it can become confusing. Non-sexualité would be more for abstinence I guess. Or maybe for someone who is completely outside the concept of sexuality.
  6. I just don't relate to the concept of coming out (except maybe when it comes to tell my parents). Except in my family, it is nt something I "hide". I just don't go to people and say "by the way, I'm aromantic". But if they ask me about my relationship or assume that I want a romantic relationship, I will tell them that I don't feel romantic attraction or even use the term "aromantic" (it depends if I want to sound like a walking dictionnary or not lol). The difference with m family is that they have expectations of me getting married someday. My father will not understand (he thinks
  7. I wish it will be better for your sister. This is a real problem that not only affects aro. Aro people are more likely to notice how problematic it is because we don't have the "but you're so lucky, give him a chance" glasses. I think she can press charges. He is harassing her. I don't know for your country, but in mine I knew a girl in high school who did it to her ex-boyfriend : after breaking up with him, he was insisting to try to get her back, and in the end the police forbid him to get close to her. I think harassment don't need to be sexual to be punished.
  8. Can't help about the meaning but I can say you have to pronounce it qwaromantic. It comes from the French word "quoi" so you have to pronounce it like this word. It means "what" in French.
  9. I hesitated but I didn't want to start a fight in public. Instead I just say this is a good thing that people have now words to describe themselves.
  10. Usually I don't let things surprise me, but it really took me off guards. It was the first time that I tell him to someone who isn't young so I didn't know how it would go, but I didn't expected that. I don't think she knew what the word implies (she didn't sound this retarded on these questions and seemed to agree that the diversity help people to know themselves better), but it was still weird.
  11. I just say that I don't feel romantic attraction, which means I don't fall in love. And if the person is surprised, I'll add that they are people attracted to one gender, people attracted to all, so it is logical that there is also people attracted to none.
  12. In middle school I watched an episode of a show (don't remember which one), when two boys were laughed at because people thought they were gay, and the two boys tried to prove they were not. It was very confusing so I asked my mum : "I don't get it. What is wrong about being happy?" I still didn't get what was wrong about being gay after she explained. But at least, it was clearer why they were trying to prove they were not by dating girls.
  13. A coworker asked if I want to get married so I explained her that I was not attracted to people romantically and sexually... First she makes this face. Then she says she never thought it was possible because she always saw this as normal and human (not in a mean way, more like "maybe human don't need that after all"). Then she asked if I had a boyfriend before. Then she asked about girls. Then she said maybe it will come when I'll meet the right girl... or boy. (I liked how she added boy later as if I must be a closeted lesbian) Then she says I'm still
  14. It seems you did a lot to discuss it already. If he refused so much, the subject probably makes him uncomfortable. Maybe he doesn't like to talk abut his feelings, or maybe he likes the relationship the way it is and thinks you will abandon the conversation if he always dismisses it. I don't think it is wise of him because the frustration created by the absence of communication is never good, but unfortunately, if he refuses to talk about it you can't force him. Maybe say that you are frustrated by this and that you need to know how he views your relationship to adapt your own behaviour a
  15. I can't say celebrity crushes because I think I never made them and it's hard for me to even picture myself having one. Or maybe Logan Lerman because I was obsessed by his eyebrows after the Percy Jackson movies (he was probably one of the only thing good about these movies lol, he is a very good actor, and his eyebrows are, I don't know, expressive lol). I would made up crushes about people I know because that's what I did back then. Currently I don't have people I could think of (most of people I see now are my colleagues who are too old for me), but I would pick someone who in intellig
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