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nonmerci

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About nonmerci

  • Rank
    Advanced Member
  • Birthday May 27

Personal Information

  • Name
    Nathalie
  • Orientation
    Aromantic
  • Gender
    Female
  • Pronouns
    She
  • Location
    France

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  1. Ah-ro-cah-lips. As @Leton. said, the French prononciation. I also say ah-ro instead of ay-ro (Frenchie forever, I was so confused to learn this is not how English people pronounce it). And it is the combination of aromantic and apocalypse... I always love the name of this forum for that by the way.
  2. I don't know if I said it before but... YMBAI listening to "can you feel the love tonight" from the Lion King, you relate to the par of Timon and Pumbaa, not Simba and Nala.
  3. Like @Holmbo, I split it in two words to learn it. And even like that, I was often looking at how people spell it to make no mistake. Long words are hard to remember.
  4. It remembers me when friends of mine passed a not serious "test" to know how "pure" they were. Most of the questions included sex, fantasies, the rest was about alcohol and drugs I think. One of my friend told me if I passed the test, I would be the purest of them... and that was true because of all the questions about sex. But being asexual doesn't mean I am naive or innocent. Ask my family : they are shocked sometimes because I have no shame and if their is a sexual joke to be made... count on me lol. True. That's why I care more about my aromanticism. My reaction to being asexual was : ok, no sex for me, no big deal. But being aro changed my life plan. Getting married and all... I'm not saying sexuality is not important, in particular for aro allo. But for me as an aro ace, aromanticism is more important to my identity. Now that being said, I don't know if asexual is more included because of how people view romance and sex. I think that people are juste un-educated. As people said before me, split attraction model is not well known. People, including LGBT people, probably think that asexual means asexual and aromantic. So they don't include us because they think they did... except, they didn't. Because this is not the same.
  5. Personally, I canon Gypsy from the show Flash as aro allo, but that's personal. She is there only in a few episodes of season 3 and 4, and is the girlfriend of one of the main character, Cisco. In season 4, they break up because they realized they don't want the same thing. The way I interpret it, Cisco wanted a long-term romantic relationship. But Gypsy enjoys his company, she enjoys having sex with him, but she is not in love and she doesn't want a real romantic relationship. Their break-up scene is very touching for that : it shows that though Cisco did nothing wrong, Gypsy just can't love him, she felt broken for that but as Cisco says to her, there is nothing wrong with her. Another version of that is : a man (usually it's a man) who have sex with a lot of women but never fall in love. Until the female character arrives and "fixes" his behavior.
  6. I had an aro-ace character who is a sociopath (though I'm questionning a bit the aro part) so I get you with th android thing. Just because there is a stereotype, it doesn't mean you are not allowed to use it if this is three-dimensional as say @Oatpunk. Stereotypes are meant to be played with after all. I don't have anything to say as I am also ace, but I am interested as I may write an aro allo character someday. So I'll look at others' responses.
  7. Yes, it is possible. There is even a word for aromantic who still want to be in a romantic relationship : cupioromantic. Though in the aromantic community, you find a lot of people repulsed by romance, it is not always the case. Personally, I can enjoy romance in books and movies, for instance, even ship characters sometimes (though I am not crazy about my ships). Also, you list sex in the romantic things, but sex don't have to be romantic. Aros are not necessary asexual. The same way, all your desire for doing these things are not necessary linked to romantic attraction. Maybe you just enjoy physical contact.
  8. I think Diana from Anne with an E may be somewhere on the aro spectrum. Maybe that's just because I would enjoy a character from this show to be so. But she doesn't seem very interested in romance for herself, in particularly compared to the other girls who all want to date. She only noticed and showed interest in Jerry after Jerry offered to walk her home (which was considered romantic if I understood; she was suprised to find him ready to walk with her). And as the actress who played her said herself, Diana may have kissed him, but she wasn't in love with him : she only dated him because he is from a different world and be with him gave her an illusion of freedom : she escaped her house and all its rules. But when she realized how different they are, she didn't enjoy his company anymore because they have nothing to talk about. And when she compares her experience to other girls, it was clear for her she didn't love him. So she may noot be aro, but if it was revealed she was on the spectrum, I wouldn't be surprised. Also, she and Anne can be seen as QPPs, totally.
  9. I can see different reasons. 1) Having a word for that is quicker to express the feeling 2) Not wanting to be in sort of relationship can have various reasons. For comparison, if you say you don't want to be in a romantic relationship, people will think that you still feel attraction for other people and that you don't want to be in a romantic relationship because you are shy, scared of commitment, traumtized by past experiences, or whatever, which is not the case. Also, not feeling attraction implies other things than just don't want to be in a relationship, like alienation when people speak about crushes as an universal experience. That can be the same with squishes and queerplatonic relationship, I guess. 3) A feeling of legitimity. The ability to put a word on what they feel is important for some people. And even more when words already exist to describe the opposite, and that's the opposite is valued by others. 4) Having researches more easy when we search articles about that, or people to talk with about this subject. I remember how I googled in the past things about never having a boyfriend before, and things like that, and never finds something that talk about aromanticism. I'm pretty sure the same thing can happen about aplatonicism. In particular in scientific researches, though I don't know if some already exist about aplatonicism (probably not). 5) For some people, it is important for their identity, and there is nothing wrong with that. I won't say "anything". Though it can be a lot of things indeed, it is supposed to be a strong partnership, different from friendship and romance. And some people, like me, don't look for that type of relationship.
  10. Same. I love to write and it's frustrating when I can't because I am stuck. Also, I love when I finish something. I also say music, in particular American musical. Don't ask me why because nobody in my family is into musical and I am not American. I can't even see them live. But I love the music, and the unique way of melting songs into the story. But I know no one who share my passion for that. I also enjoy some video games, but my father says it's for little kid and I should grow up. I'd like to see him win Fire emblem Fates Conquest in the hardest mode. Then we'll talk.
  11. @DeltaV ok, I never thought about that before. That makes sense. @Coyote I opened the link, and I thought it was a bit weird how some people include in their definition who can use or not use the term. I saw several times that it is a word that should only be used by aromantic... which is ironic considering that the person who created it was not aromantic. I get why they come to that conclusion : the fact that platonic attraction and lack of platonic attraction is a lot more important in aromantic circles, considering how platonic bonds are valued here. But I don't get why it should exclud people to use it (though I would not consider a hypothetic alloromantic allosexual aplatonic person LGBT, which seems to be the reason why people want to prevents them from using this term... anyway, that's another debate). I think the difficulty here is that there is no fixed definition, and that it is difficult to have one considering how people who are using the term now could feel excluded if their definition is erased. But from what I see, there is different things. First, there are two kind of kind of definitions : some that define the term about attraction, some that define it about relationship. But most of all, it is used to talk about platonic AND queerplatonic relationship. Which are not the same for me. I think it shows something : as we didn't have any term to speak about lack of interest in QPR, we use a term that already exist, aplatonic, that was a bout platonic relationship. I think that this ambiguity in the word "squish", that is about "platonic attraction" but seems also link to the concept of QPR. I'm not saying we should not use aplatonic that way (to be honest, I do identify to the term because of that, though I guess now that "nonamory" fits more... in terms of platonic attraction only, I guess I'm in the grey area, I don't really know, nor really care I think). Anyway that's interesting to see how the definition evolved.
  12. Wait, "platonic attraction" and "squish" are different things? I thought it was synonymous.
  13. I heard the books are a but different (I haven't read them though), but I can tell you tell he show is amazing. I see what scene @Oatpunk is talking about and yes, that's amazing. All the fandom is all about Anne and Gilbert, but what the show os really about is family and friendship. Anne and Diana's friendship is amazing too. And what about Bash and Gilbert, who are like brothers to each other? I love that show.
  14. I remember when I describe the first crush of my character, not exactly "love at first sight" but he was indeed attracted to her at soon as he saw her. And it was si strange to write, the while time I was thinking "but that doesn't really happen in real life". Now that I know I'm aro, I understand why I feel this way about that scene.
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