The Newest Fabled Creature Posted October 12 Share Posted October 12 On 10/6/2023 at 2:16 PM, Helion said: This was probably listed alr, but whenever I hear "You are just not mature enough yet, not aromantic :)" or "You just need to find the right person!" I wanna facepalm. I COULD understand it with, I dunno, a 10 year old or something, but even then, even if it's not permanent for the rest of your life what's the harm in using the label that currently fits you best, even if you MIGHT change it in the future? Imagine you think you are gay for 5 years until you discover that you are bisexual. How scandalous, how incredibly and utterly terrible, how world-ending! This "But you might change!" thing specifically seems to affect aspec people for some reason. It's weird. I feel like in some cases, whole entire families, or parents, don't want their kid to even explore labels or expression, because they don't want to come to terms with the fact that their child may be queer, even if it could be a phase they're in. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kira- Posted October 13 Share Posted October 13 That we have our identity figured out 100% and don’t constantly question it everyday 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Newest Fabled Creature Posted October 13 Share Posted October 13 One "good" misconception (belief more-like) is that we don't exist or never had until recently. -__- 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Milly Posted November 2 Share Posted November 2 On 8/26/2023 at 12:18 PM, The Newest Fabled Creature said: Someone has definitely said this already, but: People believing you'll still fall in love, or would hold onto the hope you'll fall in love, despite explaining and even showing how that won't be the case. Allonormativity is so ingrained into people, that coming out as aro to others who don't know about it, or barely grasp it, may say, "Okay, I understand, you just don't feel that way towards people," but would still hold onto this hope - this "inevitable" gotcha moment - that you'll still find someone and fall in love. And if someone who's aro might end up in a relationship of some sort, they wouldn't hear the end of it from these kinds of people. Hell, some aro/aro-spec people I know have heard their family members - family members who claimed that said aro relative will always have their "undying support" - say to them, "Why did you tell us if you were gonna end up being in a relationship anyway?" As if the aro person in question who chose to confide in them with such personal information, even with the possibility that maybe it wouldn't matter if they came out if they ended up in a relationship, was silly for that confiding. What also chaps my ass is the whole entire argument of, "Oh, a young person can't know if they're aro (or any queer identity ever) because they're a kid." When a allocishet kid can be left alone, because that identity is so defaulted it's not questioned at all if Little Jimmy has a crush on Little Sarah. Like, if people are going to believe the whole entire, "Oh, it could be a phase!" or "Kids don't know that much about themselves!" that they need to apply that to straight cisgender kids, as well. Because there's many people who thought they were allosexual/alloromantic, or straight, or cisgender, for years, till they realized that they actually weren't; doesn't make their previous identity not valid, but people don't take these kinds of experiences into account at all; but oh, if someone identified as queer and either found that they weren't, or were another identity, then it's all "People are making it up" or "It's a phase" type shit. I also find it incredibly stupid as well, when a girl and boy befriend each other, that their separate parents go, "Oh I can just imagine them being married already 🥲" Um... excuse me? They're fucking three?! Literally bc thinking I was alloromantic and heterosexual was a phase😭 And I hate it when ppl say ¨ if you decide to date...¨ like I just explicitly told you that I do not have the parts for the machine and you still think it will run?? 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GoodbyeRepublicServices Posted November 21 Share Posted November 21 On 8/26/2023 at 10:18 AM, The Newest Fabled Creature said: I also find it incredibly stupid as well, when a girl and boy befriend each other, that their separate parents go, "Oh I can just imagine them being married already 🥲" Um... excuse me? They're fucking three?! Imagine the parents nudging to two three-year-olds toward each other, not only saying how they'd make a good married couple, but also saying they'll have kids of their own, then start talking about the three-year-olds having sex together. (I know it probably won't get that extreme, but that's what went through my head when reading this.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Oko Posted November 21 Share Posted November 21 Did you ever meet somebody who wanted to date with you to change your mind? Like: "I'll show you how beautiful is love, I'll make you happy..." etc? 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Newest Fabled Creature Posted November 22 Share Posted November 22 On 11/20/2023 at 11:43 PM, GoodbyeRepublicServices said: Imagine the parents nudging to two three-year-olds toward each other, not only saying how they'd make a good married couple, but also saying they'll have kids of their own, then start talking about the three-year-olds having sex together. (I know it probably won't get that extreme, but that's what went through my head when reading this.) They do inadvertently talk about that, even if not directly. It reminds me of something that'll haunt for forever, but does ring true, where how someone said that when you think of pink being a girl/woman color, and blue as a boy/man color, or even unconsciously associate those colors with gender in any way, you're inadvertently thinking of what someone's body could look like when wearing those colors. It's not that you're even meaning to think of or speak of these things, but it's what's being implied at the end of the day. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Milly Posted November 22 Share Posted November 22 2 I've heard r that It is caused by trauma, and that it is a decision😮💨 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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