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Queen of Spades

Member
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About Queen of Spades

  • Rank
    Advanced Member
  • Birthday 03/25/1996

Personal Information

  • Orientation
    aromantic (bi-alterous)
  • Gender
    female
  • Pronouns
    she

Recent Profile Visitors

2439 profile views
  1. 1. You're right - my wording was wrong and I am sorry. I didn't mean to hurt or erase asexual people. 2. Dating a person doesn't necessarily mean you're also in a romantic relationship with them, right? Isn't it just like hanging out in order to get to know them better? In any case, what I meant is that I can't wrap my head around situations where someone claims they love their romantic partner with all their heart, and then they repeat the exact same words to someone else only a brief while later.. I mean, if you truly loved the person you've just broken up with, can you really come to
  2. No need to mention that people who have had many sexual partners throughout their lifetime are generally labelled as promiscuous, sluttish and whatnot. While these labels are justified in certain cases (e.g. cheating, leading people on, you name it), it is the other side to the coin that I want to point out to. We are humans and sex is a need. Finding a partner for a committed relationship, on the other hand, is not as easy. Therefore, I see nothing wrong with a single person who sleeps sporadically with various people (as long as they treat them with respect, of course) and then settle to sle
  3. The question I have is once again out of pure curiosity. Why are romantic attraction and the desire to have children connected? More specifically, I am talking about the following scenario: Person X is alloromantic and also dreams of becoming a parent. They find someone with whom they fall in love, they get married and have one or more children together. At some point, their marriage goes downhill and they get divorced. A while after, X finds a new love and remarries. If X's desire to be a parent has already been fulfilled, (and provided their new spouse also has children of their own), why is
  4. When thinking of aromanticism and all the misconceptions associated with it, the first to pop into our minds would undoubtedly be the classic, ignorant "aromantic people can't feel love". This issue has been discussed countless times so far, and a bunch of sound arguments have been lain on the table in order to show that this bullshit is not true. Unfortunately, this misconception is not the only one of its level. The other one, somewhat less talked about, is that "aromantic people are happy to be single". While this applies indeed to quite a few of us, it is far from being a general rule. I k
  5. Thank you for your insight! I know very well it's not my fault that I'm not comfortable having a relationship with someone who, mind you, is 25 years older than me. I just wish I hadn't trusted him. It's not the first time that I get burnt.
  6. Hi, guys… Today I want to share a story, hoping to let off some steam. Also, I am rather confused after all that happened and I don’t know what I should do in the future, should similar things occur… I met this man back in January on a chess tournament. He is a teacher and he was in my country (different town than mine) as part of some program that involved teaching abroad for a year or so. We kept in touch after than tournament (became friends on facebook). Back in April, he once again approached me on the chat, and we had a very long conversation. We talked about this and that, played s
  7. Well, I actually don't want her to break the bond with Y. All I want is get her to accept that me and Y are not right for each other and that she has to stop trying to drag me into their game. I am comfortable with chatting with Y on a messenger group where at least another person is present. But I can't handle hanging with her in real life.
  8. Yes, you definitely can. Sensual attraction is a type of attraction separate from the romantic one. Just because you want to cuddle, hug, and hold a person's hand, it doesn't necessarily mean that you have a crush on them.
  9. Today I'm going to share a story involving me and 2 other girls. It all started about 11 years ago, when I met and befriended X. Me and her had lots of thigs in common back then, so we became best friends in a matter of months. Everything was great, we would laugh and talk about stuff, we would hang out and have a lot of fun. When we were teenagers, we took part in a piano contest (a common hobby that we shared) and she'd got a higher award than I had. That went to her head and she started changing her attitude towards me in that she became arrogant and started thinking way too highly of herse
  10. It is needless to say that I would never give a chance for a (queerplatonic) relationship to someone who is the unhealthy type of alloromantic (e.g. possessive, clingy, etc.). I have nonetheless realised that I could not even accept being friends with someone who falls into this category. People who ignore everyone else once they get into a relationship make me just want to spit them in the eye. Also, there's this girl I've been friends with since high-school. She got married back in 2016 (all of a sudden). I remember her saying that she wouldn't accept the idea of her husband han
  11. To me, a QPR is a committed monogamous relationship to which no specific "rules" are tied. It can include living together, sharing your life, being affectionate towards each other (like sensual acts such as holding hands, kissing, cuddling), whether there's sex or not. The squish to me is the desire to have such a relationship with someone, as it is based on feelings which are different from normal friendship, yet not romantic in nature.
  12. If sexual orientation were a choice, everyone would choose to be straight because this would be the easiest way to avoid any kind of prejudice in this regard.

    #me1 #heteronormativity0 #checkmate

    1. Tagor

      Tagor

      actually, I would choose to be asexual as in my opinion it would make being aromantic easier

  13. "Falling in love" is a phrase describing romantic attraction at its deepest, while a crush is on the mild side of the romantic spectrum. There are countless articles which hightlight the difference between being "in love" with someone (a.k.a. romantically attracted - the butterflies, the head-over-heels sensation, the exaggerated longing, the racing heart) and loving them truly (which is about FEELINGS, borne in the SOUL, and thus, no attraction or chemicals). Therefore, I would say aromantics can't fall in love, but demiromantics can, after knowing someone to some degree, while grey-romantics
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