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About ApeironStella

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  • Birthday November 30

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    My mindscape
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    Translator (Eng<=>Tr)

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  1. The questions on romantic attractions leaves a lot to be desired, yeah. Even with asexuality, as an aego, I am only comfortable imagining/thinking about sexual stuff when it doesn't involve me, so even the kissing question stumped me because my answer would be more along the lines of "I'm probably uncomfortable if it is a movie and tired of stuff like that being showed in movies but chiller if drawn characters and it sounds very unsanitary to kiss people so I really don't want anything beyond maybe a peck at most if anything", etc, etc. My results were 42% aroace, 33% demi bc I guess sayi
  2. If it's not in a space where I know there are other queer people who knows about the terms and/or has familarity with the community in some way, I just tend to give answers with some humor to them usually (Ie. now that I'm 22, when my aunt on dad's side keeps talking about how I surely have an interest in someone, I gleefully inform her that nope, I am not, and if pressed on if I don't want a boyfriend, my answer is usually a "what use would I even have for a boyfriend? I don't need one, so I'll pass" etc) since I've always been a bit of an odd ball and on both sides of the family, I'm not the
  3. khfdhfdkjfd I shouldn't be this absurdly happy but I am now that small keychain plushie of my hyperfixation character/rp character over last year or so arrived...

    Normally, I don't really get as many fandom stuff, but I made an exception for this given the year so I deserve something nice fuck it

    1. NotHeartless


      Yes, you do. Sounds really neat B|.

  4. A lot of this is a big mood, especially breakups with "romantic partners" being far less impactful than long time early teen years friendship breakups hitting far harder. (In fact, I similarly had a guy I dated when he confessed more out of curiousity and wanting to see if I would develop those feelings back, and when he got afraid of how chill I was about the possible commitment side of things and wanted to break up, I was more or less just "yeah cool, figured as much" and got felt far worse that my bestfriend at the time got really sad and angry on my behalf than about the break up itself lo
  5. Sadly the "you'll change your mind" continues into adulthood too, at least in my experience. But yeah, that's a whole another can of topic how you are expected to "change your mind" on that even if you've been firm on your lack of desire for marriage (and/or having kids, thanks heteronormativity). And well... Friend groups doesn't necessarily have to do with sexuality, I would say? It would be also linked to what interests you had and other things that might play a factor in who you "got along with" (Ie. as someone on autistic spectrum, I always had one female friend I would latch onto an
  6. I think it was somewhere around either late highschool or early uni? Might be early uni actually, but it's hard to tell because I had a long time I considered myself pan, then panromantic demisexual, then ace, then aroace. It has to be at least 3-4 years by now given I definitely had known it about a year at least before I switched to my current tumblr blog. And on the topic of how early is too early with labeling yourself as aro, I would say pay attention to how your view of romance might differ from your peers, and if their description of crush fits for you? Because I sure do remember t
  7. How do you even respond when an allo bff talks about how their death would have "little impact" on you when you clearly know it wouldn't and that they are just wenting about wanting a partner but like... that shit hurts to hear, like thanks for telling me my love for you always will be second best and that at most I will have is a second rate love from others when I've been trying to unlearn amatonormativity for years to not feel alone

    1. Neir


      (Not sure if this was a rhetorical question so forgive me if you're not looking for an answer and are just venting!)
      This is something that's happened to me quite a bit as well and it's always so hurtful. Often times, especially for people with low self-esteem, people have the assumption in their heads that friends aren't allowed to be close or have strong love for one another. 1000% amatonormativity, as you've said, and it's taken me a while to articulate this to my friends (especially because I haven't used "amatonormativity"). However, after enough persistence, I've had friends really realize and understand that they mean a lot to me. It has often not been about friends not believing in my love, but rather about their own self-esteem and being convinced others don't really love them because they are unworthy of it. My heart goes out to you and I really hope this person didn't really mean that your love is second-rate but rather has their own issues that caused things to come out that way.

  8. At this point if Avocado man isn't aroace I will eat my nonexistent hat This entire post puts it better than I could: https://ririruby.tumblr.com/post/167837460432/tumblr-ver-of-my-aroace-amami-receipts-thread-on He even has aro color scheme given his hair often looks almost green come on-
  9. Now that I see the marriage topic, I remembered that as a kid, only reason I was interested in getting married was because I realized how much money was put into that one day and that while in the country I live in it was done in a lot more conventional way, but people in especially American/Western movies doing stuff like bursting out of cakes, some other shenanigans happening during the party, it suddenly turning to a musical etc so I was just "swinging down from a rope with a long fluffy sweet dress and kicking some infiltrator butt and maybe pulling a musical number in a party that is base
  10. Oooh, that's a great idea 💚 Haven't replied to past ones, but since yesterday's was apparently about favourite aesthetic: Anything with pastel purple, especially stuff that involves holy trio of pastel pink-purple-blue (plus space aesthetic in general). I just have a thing for soft/airy vibes. (as if my profile picture/cover pic isn't a hint enough on that lmao. That artist's colour choices/shading and in general vibe and more subtle and/or obvious meaning that ties back to the characters while keeping the image taken just during a scene of movement yet actually rather still and sort of empty
  11. I would say if it becomes a thing, it definitely should be in a specific subforum, as there are romance-repulsed aros as well? I can see logic in both allowing a subforum like that to exist and vice versa, but since personally I would have no use for it, so long as it doesn't become such a major part of the forum that it revolves around people just looking for partners, it sounds fine to me? It would need a good monitoring by the admins/mods due to age/what content are post publicly etc like Jot-Aro said, though. I mean, I come here to most often when I'm sick of amatonormativity i
  12. Oh. Okay, I just saw this and makes sense with your other questions then. Agreed with others on this thread, you can't be a sexual abuser/predator if you respect it when other people don't give a consent, and you are open about what you are looking for while approaching someone. Being trans and/or alloaro isn't inherently predatory, and if people you are surrounded by is pushing down that TERF/RadFem bullshit on you, then it is likely for better to limit your interactions with them as much as you can. I'm sorry you were abused in such a way as a kid, and I hope you are
  13. Okay so... Let me get this straight(lol)... You base your identity around being seen as the "weird, loner, smart, gifted one" and also use the "smartness factor" as a bargaining chip when you want to try to get a sexual partner, and also worry that acting as such is going against your "smart loner lonely mysterious kuudere TM" aura so that it might end up "nullifying your weirdness, which you see as a core part of yourself and don't want to be 'nullified'"? I'm sorry if this comes out harsh, as I sincerely don't mean any harm with this, but this whole thing comes off as being rathe
  14. I would disagree they are more "privileged" by any means. As an AroAce, personally only time I actually need to bring my sexuality/romantic orientation up is to say I really am not into dating, which people rarely raise an eyebrow over since I'm known as that sort of weird but nice girl who is also kind of childish. Of course, being infantilized isn't good either, but it still means that only people that actually cares about my romantic life at all is some family members who are extremely into romance/sex, and aside from that, I don't get any active hatred for my orientation, mostly disbelief
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