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Everything posted by Holmbo

  1. My parents have said they don't have any expectations of me or my siblings having children, it's totally up to us. Although we are four so I suppose they feel their chances for grand children is pretty good.
  2. That's a good point. I think it might have made me more isolated knowing I was aro. As a teen I assumed I would eventually fall in love. Sure I made some mistakes trying to force myself to feel romantic attraction, but making mistakes is part of being a teen. If I would have known from the start I was aro I might just have written it all of instead of learning sort of my limits for what I like.
  3. I would advice not to put too much energy on micro labels. They're just short cuts made to help you describe your experience. If you do find one that resonates with you and want to use it, great! If not that's great too, your feelings are still just as valid. Take a bit of time, think about it and read around online and then maybe you'll decide to identify as aro. It's not a prescription someone gives you, you decide whether the term fits with your experience.
  4. Holmbo

    Am I aro or demi?

    Demi is a kind of aro. So it's sounds like you're aromantic regardless welcome!
  5. "No" is a full sentence. You don't have to give an explanation. If someone approach you and doesn't accept a no they're a creep (regardless of physical appearance or social skills) and IMO one should just ignore them, or leave if possible.
  6. Wanting a romantic relationship and feeling romantic attraction are two separate things. There are some aros who really really want to have a romantic partner, but they don't fall in love. Have you ever been in love?
  7. One main advice to me is to be patient with yourself and give it time. Try to read and talk with others (who are supportive) about aromanticism and you will probably feel a shift. Also try to dig into the underlying assumptions that causes your feelings. My favorite guide for this is The book Feeling good by David Burns. He gives lots of tips for how to deal with our thought traps that causes negative feelings. You can use that for your aromanticism thoughts.
  8. When I was younger I enjoyed going to a club for dancing and making out with strangers. However after a bit of makeout I'd get bored and go back to my girl friends.
  9. @Georgi I'll add tarnished are the stars to my aro reading list too. I've not had good luck with that database, I've tried three books at random and not liked either of them.
  10. @Jedi I read a lot so I'm willing to give Horus rising a try. I liked both of the books. I would recommend them depending on taste. Midnight bargain has cool world building and magic system. A lady's guide to petticoats and piracy is basically real life 1700s (there's a little bit of fantasy thrown in).
  11. I realized that two books I've both read fairly recently have aromantic characters: A lady's guide to petticoats and piracy has an aromantic and asexual main character. Her life goal is to become a doctor which is hindered by the fact she lives in the 1700s. The midnight bargain has an aromantic side character. It's a fantasy story about two women who try to avoid marriage, because of they get married they are not allowed to practice magic. The main character is in love with a guy and is torn between wanting to be with him and not wanting to marry. The other woman is aromantic and want to spend her life researching magic. I like that both these characters are clearly stated to be aromantic, even though the word of aromantic doesn't exist in their societies. Have you read any books recently with aromantic characters?
  12. Very old thread. I see I've commented here before but I don't remember the video at all anymore๐Ÿ˜…
  13. That is great! I tried to sing it in a made up melody as I read it ๐Ÿ˜„
  14. Yes, here it is https://nanowrimo.org/ For me I believe I need to write with a physical group of people. Some online space is not enough. I'm going to a writing meetup on Thursday, which is actually online ๐Ÿ˜„ but I hope that some of them are open to meeting up irl too.Yes
  15. If you don't know what it is you could read about it here. I don't usually write fiction but I think it would be fun to try nanowrimo this november. I read a lot and I enjoy writing. I just have to find some people who would like to do writing get togetherers so I can be motivated.
  16. I'm not sure why you're asking this question in an aromantic forum. What sort of aromantic advice are you looking for?
  17. This is not about aromanticism but I think the writer has done a lot to promote single life which many aros benefit from "What I have done, havenโ€™t done, and still want to do after 50 years of living single" https://medium.com/fourth-wave/its-my-golden-anniversary-of-being-single-d35ab103bf1d
  18. I probably would give it all to charity.
  19. Nope, just some other places. If you'd share it on aven that'd great.
  20. I wish more people would watch this ๐Ÿ™‚
  21. I think you'll find many with like-minded feelings here. Remember though you don't need to be in love to make a committed cohabitation relationship. You can even call it a romantic one. I know several people who are not in love with their romantic partner. However they care about them and enjoy living together with them. You could do that too, if that's what you want. Personally I've never wanted a partner, and that means I need to figure out what kind of relationships I need to fill me needs. For most people the romantic partner fills so many roles. I need different people to fill some of that roles.
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