Jump to content

Holmbo

Member
  • Posts

    1,246
  • Joined

  • Last visited

  • Days Won

    121

Everything posted by Holmbo

  1. I'm sorry to hear that but good that you've been learning about it. I've heard there are some studies to try to find treatments for it. Do you know of them and if so are you part of any?
  2. People don't actually talk about birds and bees. They just use that expression as a euphemism for talking to their child about sex.
  3. I'm reading Don Quixote and in a little side story lo and behold: a super aro woman. I don't remember her name now but her story is she's very beautiful and so many men are in love with her and call her cruel for not returning their love. She just want to spend her time alone in nature and not be bothered, and she calls them out about how can it be bad for a woman to remain by herself when virginity is consider such a virtue.
  4. I imagine you could ask in most online places to get answer for this question. For example on Reddit in the AskReddit group.
  5. None of this sounds unusual for an aro. We all have variations for sure so if you find a microlabel which feels fit you go ahead and use it. However most microlabels are used to describe how one in some sense revert from the norm. For example grey romantic is about feeling some romantic attraction, cupio romantic is about desiring a romantic relationship. From what I've heard from other it's not uncommon to be able to understand why someone want a romantic relationship and sometimes experience things feeling kinda like romantic attraction. Romance is a nebulous concept so it can be hard to even say what's romantic or not.
  6. "aros usually just cannot understand the motivation for romance at all" I don't think this is the case. There are many aros who are in romantic relationships. Maybe you could elaborate what you mean in regards to motivation of romance? "If I fantasize, I can still elicit in myself the same anticipation of romance and the pleasures involved that previously would have led to actions that would be characteristic of attraction." Is this with a particular person or can you do this with anyone? I don't have experience with that in particular but I feel fantasy is very different from actual experience. Not sure you differ from many other aromantics if you sometimes fantasies about wanting romance, same as an asexual might fantasies about wanting sex.
  7. My friend had to cancel our dinner and TV night because she is sick and now I feel so bored! I don't want to be home but I don't have anywhere else I want to be either. If it wasn't for the stupid darkness I'd take a long walk somewhere. I can still walk in darkness, I'm not afraid, but I just don't like it.

  8. Mm workout clothes. Workout seems pretty unromantic to me. No one is like "I went on this really romantic running date".
  9. Maybe you could buy some kind of clip ons
  10. It feels good. The tongue has many touch sensors.
  11. Bella Baxter from poor things seems very much aroallo.
  12. Those look good. Have you had them?
  13. I like this MS paint aro flag
  14. I love open mouth kissing with someone who's good at it. A follow up question: anyone who's aroallo and don't enjoy that kissing? Because I associate it with sex rather than romance but I'm curious if some find it romantic.
  15. Yeah I think romantic attraction would mean the desire to do romantic activities with the person. Maybe you got those feelings for another reason? For example I for a while was very obsessed with a character in a TV show. I would think about them a lot and they would pop into my mind at lots of different moments. When thinking about them sometimes I would feel kinda nervous and Ill at ease though. I did not feel romantic or sexual attraction for them so I think it was just something in their storyline which affected me more deeply.
  16. I'm sorry to hear that. Do you think you will end contact with her at some point? Because I feel like a lot of people stay in contact with family because they feel a connection to them even if they don't like them. So I wonder if maybe someone afamilial would lack that compulsion.
  17. I have a friend that will send me sad emojis when some celebrity dies unexpectedly. I don't really get it. Sure it's sad if their life ended early but not more sad to me than any other person I did not have a relationship. If I have enjoyed their work I would feel sad to not get more of it. If it was someone I felt I knew, from interviews or such, I might feel sad, but even then it just feels too one sided. I don't think I could care for someone who has no idea I excist. What about you?
  18. @Helionso do you feel platonic attraction to your mom?
  19. Have you tried the relationship anarchy smorgasbord? It's a way to talk about relationships without having to rely on set templates of what a relationship should be.
  20. Thanks for sharing this. I find it interesting to read. Personally I feel very strong familial attraction. But it's not based on who's technically my relative but rather which people I've grown up with. I have a friend who I've known all my life and whom I still see regularly and I feel like she is a sister to me. There's a commitment there which feels different than friendship, maybe similar to what people look for in a qpr. Sorry if that is of topic since you're talking about being afamilial.
  21. I used to play The Sims as a young adult. A lot of my Sims would be very promiscuous because I thought it was fun to try to have babies with as many people as possible. Unfortunately the other sims were very monogamous and would be mad at my Sims if they saw them having sex with someone else, it would even be enough that they were at the same lot for them to notice.
  22. Maybe it would help you to explore more about life styles outside the norm you've been taught. For example maybe you would feel more comfortable identifying as solo or single at heart. Since that is about choices rather than orientation.
  23. But it wasn't resolved. OP didn't feel good about the apology. I don't think there's anything called "too sensitive". We all have our preferences and values. Maybe for you a value is friends should never insult each other. If so you should find other friends who share this value.
  24. I feel like you could tell them this and make sure they know it's not because anything they do. To do a comparison: let's say you really enjoyed talking with someone but at times you'd get into periods where you just wanted to sit quietly with them. Neither is better, they are just different.
  25. Just practice. If you want to get good at it try out some improv.
×
×
  • Create New...