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Untamed Heart

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Everything posted by Untamed Heart

  1. I hadn't thought about that (mainly cos I swore off FB, or more like ragequit due to idiots lol), I was just thinking about how not being a sports fan wouldn't impact your life as much as aromanticism/asexuality would. That is a good point, though, and actually I can kind of imagine how they might feel - any time anyone mentions Christmas around my dad, he starts sneering his nose up in disgust and acts/talks like Scrooge lol. We think it's more attention seeking behaviour than anything, cos his mood doesn't change in any significant way when the season rolls round.
  2. Omg, I didn't think about that but now you've said it, I kind of want it to happen! "Albert... just one more rasher... please!" "I think you've had quite enough, sir..." Sweeney Bacon The Bacon Bride There's Something About Bacon Bacon: Pig In The City Bacon Stripes
  3. I did think that, but didn't see when I checked back. Oh well! Batman v Bacon
  4. The Black Bacon (Black Swan) Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Bacon Harry Potter and the Chamber of Bacon The Bacon Runner
  5. I can see where you're coming from, but I think a lot of it is down to who you are as a person. Being aro probably does play a part, but while there's an apparent correlation of sorts, I'm not sure it's possible to make any concrete or meaningful statements beyond that. I can say that my friend and some acquaintances are allo-allo and there's also a sense of most, if not all of them being 'not quite grown ups' even though most of them are older than I am.
  6. Well, it's hardly the fault of the aro-aces that she can't get a date. That pool of ace-alloromantic men must be pretty small, relatively speaking, not to mention spread out over the globe and the number of them she'd even be mutually compatible with is even smaller. That's just how it is and no amount of complaining and gross shaming/coercion attempts from her will change that.
  7. Reading stuff like that just makes me want to slap someone. It's not about being special, more about finding your own community for support and advice, none of which a non-fan of [the national sport] would really need.
  8. I'd totally forgotten about that thread! But your reply sounds very much like how I generally feel - neutral gear, or, in the famous words of Bohemian Rhapsody (), "little high, little low". I was diagnosed with Asperger's when I was 17, but haven't discussed it with counsellors that much. Maybe if I had, this would have been picked up? It brings a slightly unrelated incident to mind, where I'd had a breakdown at work and was being referred to Mind by the doctor. She asked when the last time I'd been happy was, and I ended up giving her a plausible, but not entirely truthful answer - we had gone to the rescue centre to adopt a new dog shortly before. Logically, most people would be pretty excited about that (and I do love dogs), but I didn't really feel anything much at all. It didn't even occur to me to say I wasn't sure.
  9. It's making some things a bit clearer, will take some more working out though. But thanks, it has been helpful
  10. @Apathetic Echidna that's not too many questions at all I'll answer all of them, too. It does only happen when I have feelings for someone, and as far as I can tell the anxiety is a result of the crash, rather than being underlying. It's usually quite pleasant, or exciting initially. Disassociation sounds very likely, too. The group leader at the Mind group I was in suggested that my reactions could be a defence mechanism of sorts, but aside from that he was pretty stumped. I've also noticed a slight disconnected feeling if I'm with someone in person, which is a bit difficult to describe. The best I can come up with is, being face to face is kinda lacklustre or even uninspiring? It could be partly to do with the kind of people I've been with, though. I'm normally quite independent, spend a lot of time in my own company and not used to having to entertain others. Interaction is hard! I seem to end up going with whatever the other person suggests because I have no clue what I want, so it's difficult to make the effort when every choice feels the same. I think you might be onto something with the 'threat' of possible reciprocation. Sometimes I do want it, but even then I know I won't know what I'm "supposed" to do if/when I get it. I understand the chase much better than the catch, so to speak. There's a lot to think about here, anyway, and the cogs in my brain are certainly starting to turn a bit! Thanks very much!
  11. Thanks SoulWolf, like I kind of implied in my original post I've been left wondering if this is 'just me', as nobody else I've tried explaining it to understands, or if it's more normal and nobody talks about it for some reason. But that is helpful to know when it's at it's worst I've found it impossible to ignore, since the numbness lasts so long (from a few hours to a day or so, but it's unpredictable by its very nature) and I can't feel much else; it feels like I'm just existing in a physical sense and going through the motions.
  12. Thanks for the reply Yeah, I should clarify that this has been a general pattern since I was around 15 years old or so. The feelings do usually come back, as mysteriously as they disappeared in the first place, but usually not as strong as they were before. But when they disappear, they go very suddenly and I'm left feeling numb, but also anxious, and just thinking I really hate this, but I don't know how to snap out of it. There's never been a tangible cause, either. I have had a few crushes where it didn't crash and just dwindled naturally, though. The last one I had was a few months ago, on one of my martial arts instructors, and it lasted a week before dwindling to a natural end. One thing that does stand out to me, is they've been nicer experiences when the other person appears to be off limits to me, either for definite or based on an educated assumption.
  13. I had very few families where the parents (or parents to be) didn't have affairs. I don't condone cheating in real life but I like seeing how much I can get away with in the Sims though I could never understand why their partner found out when they were at work - usually the other side of the map! Maybe they have those really nosy neighbours who love to shit stir? I can imagine a neighbour Sim phoning my cheat-Sim's spouse at work telling them the juicy gossip I had a family of cute vampires, too. Ville Valo was the dad and "Bella Swain" was the mum, who Ville turned before she had kids. One of the daughters was terrified of ghosts and Bonehilda (skeleton maid) - the stupid thing was, Bonehilda was practically her third parent Oh, and a horse got teleported into my house by accident once. No idea how, but I had to delete a wall to get him out.
  14. I wasn't really sure what to use as a title, I guess it's the closest I can get without a detailed explanation. It's just something that's been nagging me a little bit, and that is wondering if anyone else gets mood crashes when they have a crush/squish? In my experience, it's a sudden, almost total loss of interest and feeling for the other person, like the opposite of euphoria I guess, since I end up feeling numb and like I'm going through the motions for hours at least, but it can last longer. I always wonder if my feelings will come back, just because the low is disproportionately worse than the high (think of a pigeon jumping off Nelson's Column, aiming to land on one of the lions and missing...). Am I completely wrong though, to assume when other people have a crush or squish, that their moods or feelings remain more or less stable until the crush dies or evolves into something else? I've asked mental health professionals about this in the past and got nowhere (a counsellor and the leader of the Mind youth group I used to be in).
  15. I'd love to have thicker skin! But I get bothered and angry over stupid things, mainly rudeness (even when aimed at other people) and people blaming me for them nearly causing an accident and stuff. I hate it. I very rarely get comments about my single status, though how I react depends on what questions get asked, or the attitude of the other person. If they imply I'm covering up for something, I do tend to get defensive, probably because I hate ignorance - and in my experience, a lot of ignorant people still hold onto their erroneous opinions even if you explain the truth to them. I don't mind if the other person is just curious, but I don't really give a crap if they try and tell me I'm wrong for wanting to be alone - people might think that romance is the most important thing ever, but I see no objective evidence that I'm required to have a partner. If I meet someone in the future and don't end up wanting to run for my life, fair enough, but that would still be my choice and not one I'd make with maintaining the status quo in mind.
  16. A galaxy far, far away probably would be a good place to start a new society of aros, aces and allies... (Also, I might ask a question of my own again, framed in a different way. Only because this is literally one of the only places where I might get a real answer!)
  17. I feel similar, except I know I have a 'problem' with dating that I can't quite put my finger on, and I make the classic mistake of thinking "it will be different this time!" Then I end up wondering why I bothered; I forget about how anxious it makes me, how weird everything feels and there's never any relief from that. I wouldn't say you're leading them on, though. You liked them as people, but the reality of being with them and dealing with their expectations doesn't sit well with you, and you don't want to hurt them - that's totally understandable. I still feel guilty for hurting my ex last May when I had to break up with him. I'm a grey romantic rather than aro, so the initial attraction was mutual, but once I got with him my feelings more or less disappeared. There were brief resurgences of them here and there, but nowhere near enough to sustain my relationship with him.
  18. This sounds like the plot development for an 80s style cheesy movie
  19. Does anyone else find it utterly hilarious that some people complain about the odd comment on a (debate) forum being 'too long', when they've probably read books that are 100 times longer and possibly more in depth? (If they even do read). I get a bit pissed off at people complaining when they're just being lazy and most of the time the offending comment isn't even directed at them.

    Sometimes you do need more than a couple of paragraphs to really get your point across.

    (This is on another forum and didn't actually happen to me, but I did call the lazy idiot out on it).

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. omitef


      wow this post is so long i didn't even bother--


      i kid

    3. Lex Barringer

      Lex Barringer

      I prefer the long winded posts as it gives me a chance to see how a person is thinking and feeling. The length of a post also gives me insight, if and when I post a response, it won't be ill received or have a very small percentage of it being "side eyed".

    4. cute kitty Meow! Mewo!

      cute kitty Meow! Mewo!

      I do appreciate what you're saying myself lol. I feel the same way often! But what I often think of to try to empathize or to consider if I should've written the post wiser, for me when I find long comments difficult to read, it's usually because the comment was one of the following three: not my interest; or heated/emotional/abrasive; or unpolished/unedited/unfocused.


      If a book or article isn't relevant to my interests, I'm not going to read it either. If it's heated, I'm probably only going to read it if I myself am heated and it's ridiculing something I also dislike. which personally I don't do :P and if it's unpolished, unedited, or unfocused, I'm not going to read the book or article for sure. so I recommend,


      1)  if I'm not willing to read through and edit it at least one pass, I'm going to delete it without posting. Sometimes this inspires me to write the same thing in three sentences in an efficient and clear way, and then I'm surprised and proud of my work lol!

      2) if it's heated, I keep it short, and then pause for a minute and think about a way to add to my post also with a short message in a non-heated way. perhaps even remove the heat, if I can, which is only easy if I can find a way to say what I want to without heat.

      3) if it's corner case interest, I "spoiler" the thread saying [long] and [disclaim my topic] as tags, so those interested know to read it and those uninterested in it or in {me as a friend}, can just skip it. For example, if I "spoiler"'d this post, I'd tag it [long] [advice on self-editing posts]


      and for me it's a work in progress lol!  it's difficult to not get upset by such rude criticisms. rarely do people offer constructive criticism in a fair manner, only ever are they rude, blunt, or irrelevant about their nagging. it's kind of funny kind of sad kind of frustrating. 

  20. I'm mainly indifferent, though I can't stand "romance" as seen in the soaps. It's all so predictable it becomes absolutely tedious: A loves B, B professes to love A then ends up in bed/runs off with C D and E get married, D has a 'secret' side chick F is married to G and has an affair with H behind G's back. G and H inevitably both get pregnant, maybe one loses their baby later on but either way shit's gonna go down sooner or later and everyone's lives will be ruined forever. The affair itself was an elaborate scheme and planned like a perfect murder but F will tearfully claim it was a mistake and beg/grind his wife down enough to get another chance. There are some fictional romances I love, I'm not against it totally, but I still wish it wasn't literally everywhere and especially in places it has no organic role or doesn't add anything meaningful to the story (or even when it takes place at stupid times - the oft-mentioned makeout/fuck scene during a zombie chase/dire emergency/get the fuck out now or everyone will die and it's all your fault, etc)
  21. My main goal is to have a house of my own, even a one storey, one bedroom would do. I'd prefer two rooms though, maybe the spare room could be for gaming/crafting! I'd probably have a futon in the lounge for friends/family if they wanted to sleep over now and then. I'm not planning to have children as I just don't have that urge to reproduce or adopt (my urge not to is stronger), though I may get pets of some kind - I love cats and dogs so maybe one of each? I'd also like to get some graphic novels published - I haven't done anything about them yet, but I have a few ideas fleshed out.
  22. I go nearly everywhere by myself - shopping, eating out, and the cinema - though that's rare as there's not usually much on I really must see. I usually go with a friend or my sister in law, but I did see How To Train Your Dragon 2 by myself. I don't really get why a fancy dinner is inherently romantic, but maybe I've just enjoyed eating out way more when it's been by myself or with family/friends. The few times I did eat out with a boyfriend were kinda crappy.
  23. He sounds so bitter and in denial to me, maybe it's partly because he couldn't get his own way as well as the prank though.
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