Your Worst Rejection? (and Best, if ya want?)

[boba]

Growing up I was always completely oblivious when other people liked me. So my "rejections" were always a little awkward and not so elegant. So the question is, "What's your worst rejection story?"

 

Mine is from highschool. It's not a fun one though. I had made it evidently clear that I didn't like him back, but I was flattered by the sentiment. But he wouldn't take no for an answer, and the situation spiralled out of control. It became a stalker situation for an entire semester. But yeah... I hope y'all have funnier stories???

[Circe]

I'm the same as you. If someone likes me I'm oblivious and sometimes really annoying cause I don't catch hints. 

My worst rejection history is when one of my best (female) friends said that she liked me. I was literally panicking because I didn't want to hurt her but I didn't know what to say. She cried cause I wasn't giving her a direct answer about how I felt at that moment. 

She was sad for DAYS and crying at school. Meanwhile my useless ass didn't know what to do. It didn't damage our friendship but I didn't act as the friend I should have acted. Luckily we are ok now and I hope I never have to reject someone and leave them clueless again.

[felinelicks]

Tbh I've always handled these situations by just avoiding the hell out of those people lol. Like this guy at my old work kept flirting with me and tried to get my mom to set us up (we all worked at the same store) and when she told me he was going to ask me out I just avoided his area of the store all day. He must have realized I wasn't interested because he completely ignored me after that and was actually kind of an ass to my mom. ? Just a complete 180 after months of pretending to be friendly with both of us. I've never understood why allos are like that. To me if you completely lose interest in me as a person when you find out I don't want to date you, you never really liked me. I don't get it. Why did you want to date me if you don't want to be friends with me?

My actual worst rejection was probably ending a long-term romantic relationship by ghosting her. I did go back and explain myself and officially end things after a while but it was a shitty thing to do. I just got overwhelmed with everything, and I didn't know I was aro yet so I didn't know why. There was more to that than just being aro though.

My stories aren't very fun either lol. I'm oblivious when it comes to this shit too. I never know what to do. It seems like there's no way out of it that doesn't upset people.

[Atlamillia Pixie]

The two or three people who have shown interest in me I ended up ghosting. Only one of those was on purpose, due to other reasons that did not include asking me out but caused me to not want to be his friend anymore. The other two ended up being ghosted by shifting friends groups at college. None of these had awkward consequences cus people graduated or we stoped running in the same social circles. These were before I figured out I was aro.

[nonmerci]

Worst was when I said no and the guy threatens of commit suicide... Then I told his mother so she handled it, and ghosted him.

 

On a lighter note : there is the other guy who asked me out. I really disliked him. So when he asked, I just say "No, sorry", and go away like a badass. (in fact, the guy was actually nice and we were friends during a year; though he still had feelings he never asked again)

I don't know if this is my worst rejections, I don't have a lot more. I'm not a very demanding person I guess. But I don't mind.

[Apathetic Echidna]

I feel like I should put mine in a spoiler because I'm fairly sure I could/should have gotten the authorities/police involved. I'm fairly sure you are asking from romantic rejections, and well, mine just fall into the category of 'rejections are when I say no'. Warning for stalkerish and bad drunk behaviours

Spoiler

1. Ghosting gone wrong: I was travelling overseas but staying in one city for awhile when one day I wasn't feeling too well I sat on a public bench and after a few minutes I was approached. He said he'd been watching me, wanted to know if I was all right, kept wanting to chat, so I gave him my number to go away, which he eventually did. I tried ghosting him, but I started seeing him around the places I frequently went. It was creeping me out so I started changing my schedule/route. I even started asking patrolling police directions I didn't need when I saw them in those areas. Then I caught the flu and spent a week in bed and never saw him again.  

2. Drunk guys: At a bar with a loose group of friends, I turned a drunk guy down when he was trying to either buy me drinks and/or get me to play pool. The way the bar was built meant I had to pass them to get back towards the door where my friends were all starting to leave. Drunk guy and his friend use this to force me into a corner and used pool cues to trap me there, where they continue trying to persuade me to stay with them. I didn't want to touch them because I didn't want to initiate physical contact in any way with them while I was the focus of their attention. Luckily, the group I was with had decided to put safety measures in place because it seemed like a particularly bad time for assaults that year and the designated driver/shepherd of the group came back for me and the situation was diffused without anything worse happening. 

It is possible in these two rejections that the guys did not mean for their actions to be seen in this way, maybe they didn't even notice they were doing it which is a bad indication of the state of empathy, sympathy and respect. 

on a lighter note in University I invited a guy to the movies with me and a friend, I didn't do it as a 'date' but I should have been warned because he did keep staring at my chest, then he invited us for drinks afterwards. We both turned him down because we had early experiments the next day so we had to get to sleep, it was only 9pm, and he called us both 'old grannies' and never spoke to me again.  

[bananaslug]

When I was in middle school I made a "rule" for myself that I wouldn't go out with anyone until I was 15. All of my friends knew this.

One day one of my guy friends asked me to go to a school dance with him "as a friend" and I said yes. Then, about a day before the dance, I was informed by another friend that he was telling people we were dating so I stood him up and never apologized (he never apologized to me either). Not exactly an awkward way to reject someone, but it certainly wasn't kind, and to this day I think I could have handled it better.

[JustVibin']

I've never rejected someone but I've been rejected once. It was funny. He said(after I spam texted him for like 2 straight months[so many regrets]), and I quote, "Dude, I ain't gay. Leave me alone."

I laughed and composed a haiku about how he actually types the word "ain't".

[Blake]

I have rejected people making advances to me by just changing the theme and saying we have to study and keep the conversation in the theme of the study even though I know full well that they are making a "move" on me. I just don't care and they usually drop it at second try of me being "oblivious". People overestimate my mind, they think I am dumb when it comes to feelings, but the reality is that I see what they want and just don't care about it. Not my problem that you thought that we where going to bed with me mate, the test of the zoology class is 100000000x more important than that so suck it up and keep quizzing me with my index cards (mini vent cuz I really wanted to give it a try studying with someone else than my dog but apparently it can't be done without "distractions")

[Yellow]

There was a guy who liked me, and i cant give you an exact time frame, because this poor kid had a crush from around fifth grade to the end of highschool. (I think it was something he would let go of from time to time, but his friends often circled back to it and he would get flustered when people made insinuations).

 

Anyways, I had a v e r y low self-esteem, and on top of that I didn't WANT to acknowledge ang hints that were given to me about crushes/romance. For years (and I do mean YEARS, through out all of middle school and highschool) I assumed that the teasing was just because we looked "aesthetically nice" together, or that people thought it was funny to pair up a geeky nerd and one of the best athletes.

 

I never took any advances seriously because I thought it was a very big elaborate joke at my expense. I didn't want to call them out on it, because I didn't really care, and if people thought I liked him too or something they would be less likely to bug me about dating.

 

I didn't figure out until after highschool, from a close friend who asked why I was so brutal about rejecting him all the time- (read: monotone/nonchalant because I didn't think it was real) and you can only imagine how that conversation went.

[boba]

@Yellow bro I feel that. For latter part of high-school, I had a really similar situation.

I just assumed that it was just his friends messing with him. For awhile, I never said anything because I didn't want to embarrass him. At one point he learned how to say "I Love You" in my home language in front of a bunch of our mutual friends, and I still didn't get it. Maybe my subconscious realised it, but it didn't stop me from learning how to say "I Love You" in his home language. I thought it was all in good fun. I mean, if he could make a joke out of me, joking back couldn't hurt? 

Now, I kinda kick myself a lil bit because wowwwwww did I accidentally lead that him on. But we're on good terms. Besides mild guilt and (I assume) subtle heartbreak?, I think there's no hard feelings.

[Oatpunk]

I'm lucky/unlucky enough to be pretty good at picking up on when people are flirting with me, and that made it very awkward when I had to pretend to be oblivious as a kid. As if they would go away if I just played dumb and wished hard enough. In my early teens two of my friends asked me out, one of them even wrote it out in the sand with a stick?? and I just looked the other way and pretended not to see it. Both of them stopped talking to me afterwards and I realised that maybe that wasn't the best way to go about things. 

Then, as a young adult when I was dating around (because I was a normal romo, yes sir), I apparently chose to take a completely different approach to romance. When this person I had been seeing declared that they were falling in love with me, I was like "oh shit, but I really like them so maybe if they just gave me some fucking time and don't go so fucking fast I can fall in love with them too." So I ended up stringing the poor person along until they were in love with me and that's when I decided to end things for both our sakes and it was a mess. 

Edited July 2, 2020 by Oatpunk

[Blake]

11 hours ago, Oatpunk said:

When this person I had been seeing declared that they were falling in love with me, I was like "oh shit, but I really like them so maybe if they just gave me some fucking time and don't go so fucking fast I can fall in love with them too." So I ended up stringing the poor person along until they were in love with me and that's when I decided to end things for both our sakes and it was a mess. 

I passed through a similar experience and like yours, it was messy. But we learned ^^ now we know better and that is what matters. First one's peace of mind and health and then the others.

[ScarfOfSexualPreference]

There's a guy who's been asking me out on 'dates,' but not making any specific date or time, so I keep getting out of it. His older sister is no fricken help either, since I can always hear her on the other end of a discord call saying "ask her, ask her," and I just ignore it, and he'll ask to go on a walk or something (bc of quarantine), and I'll say "sure that sounds fun" and never address it again. 

It's kinda difficult bc I want him to just say "want to go on a date?" so I can give him a polite no without being presumptuous. Grr... sometimes I wish I was out.

[Oatpunk]

On 7/25/2020 at 9:25 AM, ScarfOfSexualPreference said:

There's a guy who's been asking me out on 'dates,' but not making any specific date or time, so I keep getting out of it. His older sister is no fricken help either, since I can always hear her on the other end of a discord call saying "ask her, ask her," and I just ignore it, and he'll ask to go on a walk or something (bc of quarantine), and I'll say "sure that sounds fun" and never address it again. 

It's kinda difficult bc I want him to just say "want to go on a date?" so I can give him a polite no without being presumptuous. Grr... sometimes I wish I was out.

Ouff, that's a tough one. At this point I don't think it would be presumptions to bring it up, though. He's clearly too shy to properly ask you out, so I think it would be best for the for both of you if you kindly said that you're not interested.

[Violet Stars]

I've only ever had one real rejection story, but I don't know if it counts because the friend never officially said that they liked me... however it was heavily implied. It was over text and incredibly awkward. There was also this time where some girl told me some random boy on my bus liked me... he had been trying to make what I interpreted as a few moves towards me but he eventually stopped. It was really weird.

Sometimes I get jealous my friends don't get crushes on me but it's probably due to my own amatonormativity more than anything else. It would be really awkward anyways, so  

[Rolo]

I used to be incredibly oblivious about this sort of thing, to the point of actually dating a couple of men without realising.

My worst rejection was one of those guys, first year of uni and I was really happy to have made a good friend; I am very socially awkward and shy so making friends is very difficult for me.

The situation was, he decided we had reached the "making out" stage in our relationship, I freaked when he tried to kiss me and touched my leg, he got upset when I backed away, at which point the penny dropped. I then had to awkwardly explain that I just liked him as a friend, tried the "it's not you it's me" and "I hope we can stay friends" cliches, and then he started crying... and didn't stop for about an hour, at which point he informed me that his dad had had a heart attack and might die and he was hoping that spending time with me before going home to see his dad might cheer him up. It was awful, and I felt bad for ages afterwards. Spoiler alert: we didn't stay friends ?

[Magni]

In middle school some dude's friends came and was like "so and so likes you/wants to date you", and since I a) am bad with faces and b) thought the thing about sending a friend to ask someone out was just stupid, I was like "who even is that"? in hindsight I'm not sure if they were serious or if it was supposed to be a prank or whatever, I was generally bad with social cues.

[roboticanary]

I remember one of the girls at school I was good friends with telling me that a few other people had said we were dating, saying 'but we're not, right?'.

I said 'I dunno, are we?'

I thought we were just good friends but apparently to a few people there was no rational explanation other than that we were dating.

After a few minutes conversation we came to the conclusion that we weren't dating. She rather awkwardly asked if maybe we should be. I, even more awkwardy, said I had no idea. In the end we decided, lets just not.

 

In hindsight it is so obvious to me that I was showing signs of being aro, I was completely unaware people were saying we were dating simply because I did not care about those sorts of rumours.

[Neon]

So I had had classes with this one guy for 5 years. In those 5 years, we had a total of 4 actual conversations, over 1-2 months. Each time we were the last people waiting after school to be picked up. I saw this as becoming friends, he apparently did not. My friends and his friends told me one day that he was planning on asking me out. So I left school as fast as possible. He caught up to me, and told me he liked me. I panicked and made a non-committal sound, like "interesting" and immediately left. The next day, I avoided him, and his friend informed me that he thought that we were dating. I had her tell him that we very much were not. It was very awkward, and continues to be a year later.

And that was when I knew what was coming. I had been asked out on surprised multiple times before (seriously, me being a decent human being to a boy does not mean I like him), and each time I said "No!" and quickly left.

[Tylore]

On 5/24/2020 at 5:12 PM, felinelicks said:

Like this guy at my old work kept flirting with me and tried to get my mom to set us up (we all worked at the same store) and when she told me he was going to ask me out I just avoided his area of the store all day. He must have realized I wasn't interested because he completely ignored me after that and was actually kind of an ass to my mom. ? Just a complete 180 after months of pretending to be friendly with both of us. I've never understood why allos are like that.

I think some allos avoid people as a method of getting rid of unwanted romantic feelings. Still, dick move.

[boba]

2 hours ago, Tylore said:

I think some allos avoid people as a method of getting rid of unwanted romantic feelings. Still, dick move.

I agree. or like?? just generally being rude/demeaning/ absolutely cruel to people that reject them

it befuddles me endlessly

[GoodbyeRepublicServices]

At the beginning of this month, a random person decided to connect with me on LinkedIn (I thought nothing of it at the time, so I decided to accept her request). She then started to ask me personal questions, like if I was single or not. She said she wanted to get to know me better, and she even went so far as to ask for my number and to chat on Google Hangouts!! I declined, stating that she'd crossed a boundary, that I wasn't interested romantically, etc. In response, she seemed to get offended, saying she was looking for an honest, loyal husband, etc. Later, she typed her own number to me on the LinkedIn PM! I didn't text it.

However, here come the funny parts! (TW: A prank is involved!!!)

Spoiler

I showed the entire conversation history with this person to two of my friends, who both agreed that this person crossed some lines with me on LinkedIn. An idea came to me to play a prank on this person by pretending to be sorry for being rude to them on the LinkedIn PM. I said I'd send her my number if she wants (by "number", I meant a lucky number, not a phone number). She said yes, and I responded by saying that my lucky number is 404, as in, ERROR 404: Information Not Found. My friends and I were laughing so hard at this!!!

Then, another idea struck my mind. I decided I'd give this LinkedIn person my actual phone number and let her text it. The plan was to make her think she'd gotten a wrong number. She texted me, and I responded with, "Sorry I just got off work, do I know you?". I usually have much better grammar and punctuation habits on text than that, but I didn't want her to be suspicious. As I type this, it's been five days since I sent that text, and she hasn't responded. This makes me think that she thinks that she got a wrong number. Next Tuesday, September 22nd, 2020, I plan to have my friends over again to update them on the progression of the prank. As they watch, I plan to finalize the prank by telling her, on LinkedIn, that I'd purposely given her a wrong number and that she'll most likely never hear from me again. I'll plan to end my final message with:

"Courtesy of Mr. Anonymous (me), The Puzzle Master, and The Creeper".

So, even though there was no direct communication that this person was pursuing me romantically, I suspected she was.

Arocalypse members, how's THAT for a rejection story?!!

Edited September 22, 2020 by RepublicServicesVolunteer

[Oatpunk]

This isn't so much a "rejection story" as a "silent horrified stare" story, but it definitely made for a harsh enough rejection anyway.

When I was a young teen I had a friend who had a massive crush on this boy, and she was pretty sure that he was into her too. She talked about him all the time and I was trying to be a supportive friend, encouraging her to say something, etc. Then, one day, we're playing truth or dare and someone asks this boy to name the prettiest person in the tent. I immediately lock eyes with my friend like "oh, shit, it's happening", and she looks so positive and expectant that this will be their moment. And then he says my name and I see her entire face just darken right in front of me. I had barely ever spoken to him! It was mortifying and I avoided him like the plague afterwards.

What sort of Perks of being a wallflower bullshit is that?

Edited September 21, 2020 by Oatpunk

[Kharina]

I remember being asked out first year of uni by a guy I was good friends with.  I kind of panicked when asked if I wanted to go out and said 'I don't know' ? Not sure what I was thinking with that response... well, I did as I'd been on a horrendously awkward date with someone in school, mistaking being flattered that someone was interested in me and wanting to have a boyfriend with actually liking him, and wanted to avoid a repeat experience. 

So the guy in uni spends the entire time walking back to halls trying to convince me, I eventually say yes and then there ends up being a slight miscommunication about the time (which I probably could have avoided by clarifying more but wasn't exactly motivated to so it was accidentally-on-purpose) and I ended up unintentionally standing him up... oops.  I'd mentioned to one friend we were going out that night and then when I obviously didn't as we'd had the miscommunication a couple of my friends spent the evening with me in my dorm room probably to try and make me feel better, which was great fun (I think there was cake and lots of laughter and silliness)- FAR better than going on any date.  Yeah... looking back on it, that really should have been a sign.  But in fairness I'd never even heard of asexual as a label then, let alone aromantic or that the two were even separate things, so maybe I can forgive 18 year old me her confusion!