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Everything posted by Tylore

  1. yeah, if i remember correctly, in the promotional art they had a winky face after introducing elsa’s friend, and continue to wink after any sort of hinting toward her being lesbian. yeah, society is so weird abt single women. when i was young (before i came out, i’m a trans dude btw lol) they always asked me about “who my husband will be” and “what will he be like” and i was just like,,,,, bruh im a /child/ also, don’t apoligize! hearing abt this was super interesting!!!!
  2. I JUST REALIZED SOMETHING THAT MADE ME QUESTION MY ENTIRE REALITY. Okay, so as a kid, I loved planning my marriage, but hated thinking about who I was marrying, because I didn’t actually want to marry anyone. I didn’t understand why everyone else wanted marriage and romance, but I didn’t. So I participated in it anyway, because I felt like I had to like all these things, because I didn’t want to be different. Could it have also been that I genuinely wanted those things at that time? Maybe. Could that just be me overthinking? Absolutely, and it probably is. God, this is connected to so many of my issues and ID’s, this is so big for me, thank you newbie aropocalypse account that made me think of this, you helped me so much, god. I didn’t even think of this questioning, I’m such a dumbass, thank you.
  3. Yeah, as a kid I loved the idea of marriage, but never any of the actual content or how to get there. It was just a sort of, for fun. I still think it could be a bit fun. You don’t have to have the same experience, though! (Also, thanks for mentioning this, you kind of made a bunch of issues click for me! It really helped me realize some stuff!)
  4. I guess you could start by gently reminding her whenever marriage/kids is brought up that not everyone wants those things? I know that’s scary, but you could use “exploring your amatonormativity to be a better aro/ace ally” as an excuse, as that would probably push her to learn more about the topic. If she says “are you sure you’re not just aro/ace” call her out on her fake ally bullshit. A good argument there would be, “I listen to aro/aces when they complain. These ideals hurt them. You don’t have to be aro/ace to empathize and try to fix what’s wrong” or something along those lines, idk, do whatever’s comfortable to you. (Also, some B&J!)
  5. Congrats on figuring yourself out! I also like drawing and reading! Also, have some B&J!
  6. Absolutely. The thing with Elsa is, not only is she an unusual example of a main without romantic focus, Disney heavily hinted at her having a girlfriend/being gay in promoting the sequel. Disney is does this so much, what with their numerous cancelled/platform-changing shows, and they’ve made it pretty clear that their stance on LGBT+ is subject to change, depending on whether or not it financially benefits them. They will announce a queer show on Disney+, then move it to a less associated with Disney platform, cancel representation, use targeted ads to promote queer rep for it only to be implied/extras, and they control almost the entire entertainment industry now.
  7. I think some allos avoid people as a method of getting rid of unwanted romantic feelings. Still, dick move.
  8. Yeah, it’s both a mental health thing (related to ASD, PTSD, similar disorders) and an aro thing. It really sucks, because people always act like having boundaries with touch is this huge big bad deal, n like,,,,, no? It’s not a personal offense against you, I just don’t like being touched sometimes/certain areas/certain ways?
  9. Honestly, I think my original fascination with shipper culture is how complex you could make a single dynamic between two people be. There’s so many different factors, like shared interests, who listens more, inside jokes, shared experiences, how comfortable they are with eachother/others in certain contexts, etc.; I just find it so interesting. Now it’s more of a “wow, you can really ship anyone huh?” OMG THIS SOUNDS SO COOL!?!?!>!@!!@!!!! Are you planning on trying to publish this, please I’m begging, it sounds so cool!
  10. I think most allos just don’t think about it, or don’t think about allyship, unless its brought up to them. Kinda weird, but I get it in a vague sense?
  11. 1.Not being completely romance repulsed and/or not being completely aro 2.Trauma/depression-related issues that may have caused my reciprocation-repulsion 3.Occasional sex repulsion (area in which I’m sorta questioning) (I’ve seen a lot of alloallos call aro “just ace but fancier” and like,,,no.)
  12. Honestly? Educating myself on these labels, and the prejudices on it. That might not be helpful to you, though, so what ever works! (Also, the repulsed after opportunity bit sounds a bit like Lithro, but that might just be me projecting) (also, have some icecream!)
  13. God, I have a perfect song but I forgot it’s name, anyone remember a chill alt song with lithro/apro/akoiro vibes?
  14. Anyone else ever experienced dismissal of their orientation based off of trauma, depression, attachment avoidance issues, etc.? Anyway, this is partially an excuse to rant, so here we go: I’ve been told I’m arospec because of my suspected depression (Several people in my life firmly believed I have depression, but I honestly don’t know, which is why I put suspected in front of it). It really sucked, because I was trying to open up to them, and they just dismissed it as dangerously low hormone levels. Even if that’s true, why does that matter? Why can’t it be both? Why is this something you think must be fixed? (Sorry, got a little ranty there)
  15. I’ve had a very similar experience as an apromantic, maybe look into it and it’s other names, lithromantic/apromantic/akoiromantic? Hopefully this helps/makes sense. Personally, I don’t think the difference matters too much. If a label makes someone comfortable, they should use it. But I can kind of see where you’re coming from, and I don’t know how to answer that. I might get back to you once I’m more educated on attachment avoidance. Ok, so all I really found so far is that it’s considered pseudoscientific, because it currently has no definable diagnostic requirements. It’s validity is questioned among many medical professionals. Also, who says someone can’t be both? One label doesn’t invalidate another, intersectionality is common
  16. I had this too! My friends were always more concerned with critique our government and society than anything else, ha
  17. Thanks! It was though haha, I’ve been trying to be better at that lately though ^v^ ‘Lith’ is a nod to stone identity, which is A.sometimes considered an exclusively lesbian/transmasculine label (depending on whether or not you want to open the label up) and B. Historically more of a sexual identity, whether it be preference in certain sex activities that is considered unusual, or landing on the ace-spectrum, so I feel like it doesn’t translate as well to a romantic identity? Also, the word root means apart instead of stone, which feels more accurate to the label itself, at least to me. Oof, I’m lucky mine took it so well. Also, it probably is because of the pandemic, most people have been discovering new things about themselves, I think the isolation just helps with that (god, now I wanna look into effects of isolation studies). Best of luck to you too, thank you!
  18. Thank you so much, it’s been so relieving to know I’m not alone. (Also, thank you for the icecream, it looks delicious :D)
  19. Oh my god thank you so much for posting this, I got so stupidly excited seeing this, I had no clue they had a blog AJSDLKFJsaldkfjsdklfjs;ldkjflk;dsjflkjd :D:D:D:D:D
  20. So, the link to this test isn’t working for me, likely because whoever made it must’ve realized their mistake in including so much amatonormativity (did I spell that right?) in a test about the romantic spectrum, so does anyone here know if they made a new test, or are in the process of making one? Just curious, I guess
  21. Tylore

    figuring myself out

    That sounds like alloaro/allosexual aromantic (which means you experience sexual attraction, but not romantic attraction), which is absolutely valid! I can’t tell you what you are though, you know you best! Hope this helps
  22. Several weeks ago, I broke up with my first boyfriend, feeling horrible and guilty because my feelings for him had faded almost as soon as he reciprocated. Yet, since I felt guilty for how fast they changed with what at the time felt like little warning (in hindsight, whenever I ever thought of confessing to others, I was more scared of them feeling the same than being rejected, I actually preferred the idea of being rejected) I had forced myself to stay for far longer than I should’ve. In the aftermath of our breakup, I felt immensely bad about all this, and tried to find an explanation for feeling like this. Eventually, I found the label lithromantic, and furiously researched it, it’s connection to stone identity, the controversy, anything I could get my hands on, and decided to identify with one of its alternatives, Apromantic. I still want more information on Apromantic though, I couldn’t find who made it, so if anyone knows that would be great. Long story short (or more accurately, medium), I found here! tl;dr: stupid boy falls for his best friend, confesses to then dates him, only to discover he’s apromantic.
  23. Time to put my procreate meme skills to use, hehehehehehe I cannot think of any memes, h e l p
  24. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooo Tumblr link I found that leads to an error page whyyyyyyy AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA why there’s more error link quizzes WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY I’m supposed to be in class rn but I’m more interested in this, he’s reteaching us stuff, also I can just ask my tutor for help later so like,,, I get that this is disrespectful but I’m hyperfixated and have no self control F U C K i reached the last google page without finding ANYTHING, anyone have any suggestions on how to search for it, or more inclusive search engines? I want ALL possible results
  25. So I’ve been curious about some of the history behind aro spectrum labels, and I thought that questing for the legendary AUREA forums would help, so I’m starting this thread for updates on my progress in finding it So apparently Aurea means gold in latin, so I’m finding all of these forums on random animals and plants lol I’ve decided to just search “Aromantic-spectrum Union for Recognition, Education, and Advocacy“ and I keep finding all these deleted aro-spectrum quizzes and I get so sad every time I click on one of them and see “error 404, page not found” I wanna take an aro test T.T Now I’m wondering if they even were original forums, I heard somewhere there were, but I might’ve misremembered?
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