Atlamillia Pixie
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Okay, Rant time
So, I saw my ex in person for the first time since we broke up more than a year ago. While we Dmed each other and participated in the same group group chats, got on group calls together, and participated in the same Dnd group in the mean time, this was the first time we talked face to face since the pandemic started. The reason we got together was to take graduation pictures with the rest of our friends. This gave us the opportunity to talk about the break up and the fallout that followed.
We both left that conversation feeling so much better! Minus my aromantism (because that was absolutely a factor in why we broke up), we both talked through why we didn't work as a couple and why we chose to broke as well as how we handled each other after the break up. Amatonormativity screwed us both up HARD and he is alloromantic (which just goes to show that it hurts everyone, not just aros). He told me that never loved me romantically, he though he did because we were together as long as we were. I am so relived that I never broke is heart.
The both of us left that conversation being closer friends than when we started it and I'm glad we had it. I'm glad to have my friend back.
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The “happy to be aromantic” thread
Atlamillia Pixie replied to Acecream's topic in Aromantic Discussion
Similar to what others have said, finding out I was aromantic lifted so much dread and pressure off my shoulders and I was happy. I was happy after breaking up with my ex and being friends again, but knowing why the relationship didn't work made it so much better, so freeing. No more worrying about how get into a relationship, how to act to once I when in a relationship, and no existential dread for the future about how to be someone who isn't me 24/7 (I am romance adverse when it comes to romance directed at me, in case it wasn't obvious). Amatonormativity was a bitch and I'm glad to be -
Today is the one year anniversary of figuring out I am Aromantic. Huzzah! 💚🤍🖤
I didn't think that I would be spending me first year as realizing I'm aro and being proud of it would be spent at home or mostly confined to my college dorm room ... but uh, 2020 was built different to say the least.
I am happy to be more in touch with myself and to know that I am not broken. I don't have trust issues for no reason. I don't have intimacy issues for no reason. I am not unfeeling for no reason. I am just Aromantic. I don't do the romance thing. There is no reason for it. Its just the way I am.
While I figured out the Aro thing, the thing I'm questioning is whether I am lithromantic/akoi(ne)romantic or if it was internalized amatonormativity (f*ck me, right?) at odds with my aversion to romance. And being home during a pandemic has not helped me figure that out. So, I'll figure that out once I can go outside and interact with people with out fear of catching a deadly virus or spreading it to my family. For now, I just vibe with my friends online and keeping finding more aro content online.
Cheers! 💚🤍💛
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What would you tell your younger self?
Atlamillia Pixie replied to roboticanary's topic in Aromantic Discussion
I would tell a younger me that she is Aromantic, she is not broken or too young to understand. It's simply not in the cards for her and that's okay. Friends, family, and pets have all of the love she will need. She is built different and society needs to catch up. Oh, and wanting sex/ being allosexual while being Aromantic doesn't make her a terrible person or is "lesser/worse" than wanting sex in a romantic context. All she had to do is communicate clearly about what she wants and embrace her most authentic self. 💚 -
for you, what is the most difficult part to be aromatic?
Atlamillia Pixie replied to Venuxxx's topic in Aromantic Discussion
I got to agree with @nonmerci that trying to explain aromantism is difficult to say the least, it's part of the reason I'm not out to my family. Getting the dismissive "oh, you just haven't met the right person yet" or "oh you grow out if it eventually" kinda sucks. I know they mean well and that they want me to be happy, but they don't realize that not everyone wants/ needs the same things to be happy. I don't want nor need romance/ romantic attraction/ a romantic partner in my life to be happy and that's valid af. I have not run into the "wanting sex without romance" problem yet due to -
My favs are probably "Wonderful Christmastime" by Paul McCartney, pretty much any version of "Carol of the Bells", and "Christmas Can-Can" & "Nutcracker" by the Straight No Chasers.
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Zone
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at what age did you discover yourself as aro??
Atlamillia Pixie replied to Venuxxx's topic in Aromantic Discussion
I figured out the whole aromantic thing a few months before my 22nd birthday earlier this year. -
thinking about marriage and weddings when young
Atlamillia Pixie replied to RoboticHumanoid's topic in Aromantic Discussion
When I was in my "Say Yes To The Dress" phase in middle school I would image my dress, the cake, the decorations, the venue... never the spouse to be, he was always missing ... really should have been a sign of being aromantic in hindsight, but oh well. -
Marshmallows
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Personality wise: witty, intelligent, jackass with a heart of gold. Aesthetically/sexually wise: longer dark hair, clean shave, toned arms/chest/back. Tattoos would be a plus, not gonna lie.
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True! TPBM likes murder mystery novels
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I am the youngest of 2 with an approx. 3 year age gap. The only other family member I know is GSRM/ LGTBQPIA+ is my dad's one cousin and I have only see him at big family gatherings for wedding and funerals and such and I don't really know him that well at all other than the fact he is a drama teacher.
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Hiya! I can only speak to my experiences, which may not reflect the experiences of others, so take what I say with a grain of salt. I was never sad that my relationship ended, in fact I was happy that it ended. I dated a guy for 13 months, and we had a mutual break up. When we did break up, we were still friends for about 2 and half weeks. Then it finally clicked in his head that this was not a break where we are friends for a while to sort some stuff out and eventually get back together. This was a break up and were we never going to get back together. That's when he finally had his
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The only time aromantism comes up outside Arocalypse is when my other GSRM/ LGTBQIA+ friends and we start talking about our experiences or sometimes my straight friends will ask a question about it, but that's not often and they are respectful about it so I don't mind answering. Since I'm only out to about 7/8 people, all of which are my friends, it does not come up often.
