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Everything posted by Magni

  1. My submission for AUREA’s Aros Create Pride event (which you can read about here).  This is a few of my favorite patches I’ve embroidered.  I posted this on tumblr (link here) but am crossposting it here as another place where people could potentially leave comments.


    Patch 1: Aroace Arrow through Inverted Spade-heart

    This patch uses the aroace flag I made (seen here).  It utilizes a spade, which is an aroace symbol, which I’ve inverted so it looks somewhat like a heart, which is being pierced by the arrow. (I’ve previously shared this patch in this post).


    Patch 2: Aromatic Aromantic 

    This one has a chemistry pun; so, the basic type of aromatic molecules is a 6-carbon ring with 3 double bonds, and the simplistic way of depicting this is a hexagon with a circle inside of it.  This patch has the hexagon with a circle aromatic symbol in gold.  In between the hexagon and the circle is the aro pride flag.  I thought inside the circle looked plain so I added a bow and arrow inside of it in silver because of Artemis. Then across the top is the word “Aromantic”, mostly in white but the “n” is green such that reading just the white letters would say “Aromatic”, thus it can be read as “Aromatic Aromantic”.  (I’ve previously posted a tutorial of this patch here).


    Patch 3: Demiplatonic apl-apple

    This one plays on the pun where aplatonic is shortened to apl, thus apl apple.  I added a triangle to the aplatonic flag to make it demiplatonic, which is how I specifically identify.  (I’ve previously posted a tutorial of this patch here).

    1. John Rando

      John Rando

      Hey, that's a wonderfull work you deed here. Even more so since you posted tutorials to allow others to reproduce it, spreading the pride further ! I like the 3 of them, but as a nerd, my favourite is of course the aroma(n)tic one. I also like the last one because there is very little apl pride ideas that I know (beside flags, of course), so this one is a great one too. This is great inspiration for tee shirt designs, so thank you !


  2. People might make the same argument against people using aromantic as a term. And like, not everyone has to label everything they experience, but some people do find it useful. Microlabels are useful and validating, and having any sort of word describing an experience makes it easier to find other people who also feel that thing. This is an interesting point to me; on one hand, describing things in the context of attraction is simplest, it is parallel to other identities, and it ties into the idea of it being what you inherently feel rather than what you do. This can likely be traced to kindof the "born this way" narrative, describing things as being an innate thing about yourself that cannot be changed, bc otherwise people would argue even more that you should just change. However, platonic attraction is such a vague thing, it's not something mainstream populations notice as a thing that is felt, and while some people do actively feel it, due to the vagueness it is even harder to identify that you don't feel it. I think for aplatonic, dual definitions is perhaps more helpful, one based in attraction and one not. Though tbh I kinda grow weary of attempting to argue definitions for it in general and tend to avoid concretely defining it these days, and instead tend to talk about my experiences with the term bc while I feel I understand it and the meaning, I feel like I can't adequately explain it and my attempts to do so would only be met with criticism.
  3. So, squish would technically be platonic attraction, yes. People also use squish for queerplatonic attraction, though technically there's other specific words for that, most people just use squish. I think it makes more sense when looking at parallels with other types of attraction? So like, for me, there's an extent to which I want to have friends, and I will look at people around me for qualities that make someone seem like good friend potential and decide to pursue that because I want to have friends, but I don't really feel a pull towards befriending specific people and it kinda reminds me of before I knew I was aro, when theoretically evaluating who would be a good person to have a crush on in a logical way, except the difference is I do actually want to pursue making friends. I sometimes rarely experience squishes after I already feel very close to someone, and then I want to be even closer to them and want to spend time with them specifically, as opposed to wanting to spend time with someone and they happen to be the most likely person to spend time with. So, there's a difference between wanting to have friends and do platonic things, vs wanting to be friends with someone specifically when experiencing platonic attraction towards them.
  4. This seems like a cool project (I saw tumblr post first and reblogged it there), though I don't think I'll have the time to actively participate since I seem to be involved in too many projects to begin with. I'm unsure if the ideas you list are intended to be just things to be included or if it's supposed to be options for a theme to center the entire zine around; if the latter, I'd caution against the "No romo love stories" one, because even if it's looking at very diverse implementations of love, placing emphasis on having a certain amount of love of any form can be kinda alienating to some people. Another suggestion for just how to like...feasibly implement things, is to set up a discord server or something that people who are interested can join, or at least to set up a google form where people can more formally express interest and you can gain email addresses to contact people, bc currently just seeing if people are interested but not really having a way for people to sign up or for you to contact specific people who are interested, it will be hard to practically start doing things. This sounds like a cool project, I wish you luck!
  5. I finished my submission, @Apathetic Echidna. I ended up drawing the aro One Ring idea (and used the translator you'd linked earlier in this thread :). Link to my submission is here: https://aromagni.tumblr.com/post/622395923181568000/aromantic-pride-is-precious-carnival-of-aros
  6. ....I wasn't assuming negative intent or looking to interpret it negatively because it was coyote? Rather, I'd assumed good intent that happened to be poorly worded in a way that unintentionally came across as harmful. If anything, the fact is was coyote made me less inclined to say anything because I generally try to avoid direct interaction since it never seems to go well. However, I as an aplatonic person felt a need to say something because I was uncomfortable with what was said, I'd have addressed it regardless of who said it, it's just that most people wouldn't have responded with such passive aggressive hostility, which if anything did indicate bad intent. *** (idk if I missed anywhere else that people tagged me expecting answers to stuff but this is like general answer to all questions directed at me that are still left "open") I don't think it's a good idea for me to continue debating this topic further? but I feel the need to acknowledge things in some way so my brain will stop dwelling on it/stop feeling obligated to reply. I was upset with initial comment regarding aplatonicism as an aplatonic person (which, I realize in hindsight I hadn't specifically mentioned me being aplatonic in that initial comment but I do know I'd mentioned it on a previous thread y'all were involved in where the definition of aplatonic was discussed). Sometimes it is difficult to pinpoint exactly why something bothers me beyond just that it does but I do generally try to attempt an explanation, though apparently my explanations aren't very clear. The responses I received just made me feel dismissed and made me defensive such that I end up trying to defensively overexplain myself, which if anything probably makes my explanations less clear, so then people find more problems with what I say to pick apart to debate me making me defensively explain even more, etc, it cycles like that and goes nowhere productive. Yeah, this still hasn't been addressed, it seems like people would rather pick apart everything I say and debate other things rather than actually acknowledge that hey multiple people including those who identify with aplatonic have an issue with what was said so maybe there's an issue here. ( @VoidArcana seems to word the points I'm trying to make better than I can/I generally agree with aer.) I'm not gonna further participate in this debate bc it seems pointless for me to do so and having to justify why I feel upset by something while having my emotions dismissed and my words misinterpreted is distressing to me.
  7. It's not about "you shouldn't phrase it like that bc exclusionists will say it's weird", it's "I feel hurt by what you are saying because it is similar to hurtful things exclusionists have said". I feel like only one part of the problem is being recognized; it's not just the definition used, it's that combined with the context/example. The vast majority of people who use aplatonic are arospec or acespec in some way, maybe there's some neurodivergent alloromantic allosexual people who may use it but otherwise I'd be wary of an alloromantic allosexual person using aplatonic and defining it as "I don't love my friends", and even more wary of it being used as a random example by someone else for why aplatonic wouldn't be included in a community. It's not just the definition, it's the statement as a whole that comes across like exclusionist rhetoric which I find hurtful. *** This....didn't need to turn into a debate? You could've just acknowledged that what you said came across as hurtful/you would try to do better in the future, and moved on? Instead of debating me that it isn't hurtful when I'm telling you it is.
  8. I find this to be passive aggressive and entirely unnecessary. Also your paraphrasing has an entirely different connotation and context then the quote you cite in your justification. And like....when I, as an aplatonic-spec person, tell you that I find what you're saying about aplatonic people to be offensive, the proper response would be to stop and think about how what you're saying comes across negatively and ask for clarification if needed, not to dismiss my concerns and further justify yourself. @CoyoteI don't like how you seem to be equating aplatonic with, like, just some allo person going "I don't love my friends"? It reminds me of exclusionist rhetoric and the ways people have ridiculed the term aplatonic. (idk how to word this better rn but can try to elaborate later if needed) I will elaborate on why I had a problem with your comment. It wasn't just the flippant definition of aplatonic you used, but the rest of the context and how it is similar to exclusionist rhetoric. Exclusionists would say stuff like "oh a cis heteroromantic heterosexual person who doesn't have friends can just say they're aplatonic and pretend to be lgbt" and just generally ridicule it as a term a lot. Do you understand how what you said comes across similarly to that?
  9. @CoyoteI don't like how you seem to be equating aplatonic with, like, just some allo person going "I don't love my friends"? It reminds me of exclusionist rhetoric and the ways people have ridiculed the term aplatonic. (idk how to word this better rn but can try to elaborate later if needed) *** sidenote, I think it makes more sense for aplatonic to be included in a-spec whereas I don't think it makes sense for agender.
  10. @yurihands I am really confused by your logic? are you still talking about agender being included in a-spec at the end of this? Like, I understand the point made in each main paragraph but the last bit seems ambiguously phrased in and of itself and the connection to previous parts doesn't seem clear. *** I categorize agender under nonbinary, not a-spec, a-spec is ace & aro spectrums.....hmmm maybe should draw out how picture the umbrellas or something. Agender is under the "A" in the acronym but I don't think it should be included in a-spec and I believe including it in the term a-spec would really take away from the term as it is the only single word that can be used to describe ace & aro, which is commonly useful due to the organizational overlap between the two communities.
  11. useful new sources: Article by Dr. Bella Depaulo, the author who has written about singlism: https://blogs.psychcentral.com/single-at-heart/2020/05/people-who-are-aromantic-are-they-targets-of-bigotry/ (mentions aromantic people being targets of bigotry) Article about Peridot from Steven Universe being aromantic asexual: https://www.cbr.com/steven-universe-crystal-gem-confirmed-asexual-peridot/ (might have to carefully phrase this one based on the extent of it being confirmed, but this seems like reasonable source to be using for it).
  12. @Apathetic Echidna amatonormativity has it's own page, so there's definitely sources for it: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Amatonormativity the amatonormativity page also does mention aromanticism so evidently some of the sources discuss the link. Suppose that means we need focus more about the link with amatonormativity to aro community then as much about the term itself, but yeah I don't really think lack of sources is a huge problem on that one.
  13. Sheldon Cooper might be canonically asexual but in later series he does get a girlfriend and gets married so I wouldn't consider him aromantic. Also, he's not good representation for various reasons and is not mentioned in the asexual article either. For in the media, I think it would make sense to open section talking about how hard to get canon word representation, if can find an article about that. I know I found one article discussing Katniss from hunger games as aromantic which could be considered proper source. Another thing for "In the Media" section is irl people; we could list Yasmin Benoit, her wiki page mentions her being aromantic so should be easy to get a source for that. *** I went through and accepted all of the edits on the document. It's great seeing things being put into words and stuff! Reminder to put sources in for things; the amatonormativity section looks like it needs sources? so if could link things there that would be great; the final formatting of citations can be a bit difficult but for now just making sure have links is good enough; I'm fairly competent at doing the proper citations stuff and can do that later as needed. Oh also, if don't necessarily have a source currently, can also be good to just put in parentheses "(Source needed)" or something. *** For culture, aro white rings and arrows would be good if can find a source, though I'm more confident that we can find stuff talking about the flag. for more on legal stuff and discrimination, can discuss discrimination and exclusion from queer community and also discuss lack of legal protections? can look at asexual article for parallels on that. Also like....things that explicitly cover sexual orientation would cover asexuals but not aromantics.
  14. It also occurred the me that we might be approaching this from the wrong angle; while eventually we want to have a completed comprehensive individual article, the best way to do that would probably be by adding more content to the existing entry to make it bigger to such that it becomes clear it needs its own article. The way wikipedia articles are broken up, there's sections which are seperated with title above a line and then below that there can be subsections with bolded subheadings; currently, aromanticism is one of the underlined sections so can work towards creating content for bolded subsections below it. I think adding the subsection "community", and talking about history/organizations for aro stuff along with stuff about the pride flag and stuff about arospec awareness week should be reasonably feasible. Another section might be "in the media" which could reasonably be added, though might be harder to find stuff that can justify.
  15. I have made a tumblr post with the call of submissions to help spread it there: https://aromagni.tumblr.com/post/619778331642118144/june-2020-call-for-submissions-most-precious (and lol....am kinda tempted to make an aro ring in lotr style bc "precious", might do that if end up in the mood for that kind of creative this month).
  16. So, both andro- and gyno- are from greek and mean man and woman respectively. There are problems with gyno- bc the prefix tends to be associated with afab bodies, but I don't think the same issues really extend to androsexual? Andro- is also the prefix used for androgynous and stuff so it as a prefix doesn't have weird connotations which make it potentially a problem. Another more vague term would be diamoric, which is a term for nonbinary attraction that doesn't neatly fall into the usual binary. This page has more info and also some other terms: https://lgbta.wikia.org/wiki/Diamoric Another term in that link is Marsic, which is nonbinary attraction to men or masculine aligned people, so perhaps that term would work well for you?
  17. A positive theme is good for this month! though tbh my first thought about "Most Precious" is lord of the rings. Also, if you don't have a post for it on tumblr, I can make a post boosting it there if you'd like?
  18. So I reorganized the sections in the article draft document based on feedback there. Also, I made a new link: with this link, you should be able to suggest edits which I can then approve; for actually editing things, it's a good way to collaborate and write stuff and is better than comments. I think new outline for article flow is better and more similar to existing wikipedia pages, though we can make final decisions on organization and section names later on. I noticed that the asexual wiki links to asexualawarenessweek.com so apparently wikipedia considers something like that a reputable source; I added a link to the arospec awareness week website and I think that section would be reasonably easy for someone to type up? I can help outline and find sources for things but I'm not great at actually putting the things into words, so if someone else would like to start trying to do that part, that would be great.
  19. I figured it would be a good idea to make a thread where people can post about various things the aro community is doing during pride month this year, especially since a lot of pride is occurring online this year. I'm gonna start off posting a few things I know about and I encourage other people to post links to other things they know are happening. aromantic-official on tumblr will be having weekly prompts, as seen in this post. They'll post with more specific prompts on the themes each week. Aggressively arospec week will be from June 21st-27th and will be hosted on both tumblr and twitter, as seen in this post. It is a "week long event promoting creation of arospec fancontent by arospec creators". I'll post more things as I see them throughout the month and I encourage others to post things as well, to help facilitate the spread of information in a centralized location. Happy Pride month everyone!
  20. I have not had the focus to actively work on this, but I see someone has left comments on the google doc which is good. Reminder to send me a message if you want to be specifically added to the google doc so can edit it directly. (also just generally wanted to post an update of sorts here to bring it back up in uh notification stream as nudge to people that this is a thing that trying work on).
  21. so, there's a lot of overlap of genderqueer with stuff like butch lesbians bc queering gender and stuff (I'm not explaining that the best, but there is history of overlap), so I'd say that yeah you could definitely be a genderqueer lesbian. There's people who identify as nb lesbians etc too. One open-ended definition of lesbian I've heard is "People who aren't men who are attracted to people who aren't men", so looking at it that way could be helpful? Also like.....there's lots of discourse originating from parts of the lesbian community that are very exclusionary/gatekeeping and tbh there's not much point caring about what exclusionists think of the labels you use, just use the labels that are most comfortable for you.
  22. I find stuff like discord servers is great for online social interaction, especially bc it is a more group setting as opposed to one-on-one. In discord servers I'm on, people have been hanging out in voicechat while someone streams playing a game or have been watching streams of shows using Kosmi; perhaps something like that would work well for you?
  23. From what I understand, the original usage of the "A" in LGBTA was for "Alliance", rather than allies. Which is a nuanced difference, but I think originally it was more about being an alliance between these different queer identity groups, but then people started changing it to allies, then ace & aro communities were like wait if the A is representing any group of people it should be us not straight allies.
  24. I do identify as agender but I don't think it should be under a-spec. A-spec makes sense as a word for including the ace & aro spectrums and addressing issues faced by these communities which are often shared, whereas agender is not shared under that, if anything agender is tied to nonbinary and other gender terms bc it is a gender identity not an orientation like aro and ace. Also it just....doesn't make sense to me? Agender isn't a spectrum like ace and aro are, "agender-spectrum" isn't like an established thing so why would it be grouped under a-spec. But yeah, while agender can also be represented by the "A", I really don't think it should be included in "a-spec", and that's my opinion as an agender person. (not here to argue about the origin of terms etc but saw some people asking if agender people wanted it to be under a-spec etc and I am an agender person with strong opinions on subject so wanted to share).
  25. So, I wanted to start actually putting together some google docs. Currently I have the links set so people can comment, which should mean you can suggest edits but they need to be approved, bc I am a bit wary about outright posting a editable link where anyone could theoretically access. If people DM me though I would be able to give them a link with access to outright edit it. So, this document is for compiling sources, and I already copy pasted some stuff that we've put in this thread: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1X3MugUx9LDTrKVG9bv9XSWaIa0CeOCb2D8156NKoCAc/edit?usp=sharing This is where we can start drafting the actual article: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1DSpagYV508Aubm5guBjg-uuAA0NdahL_ygTknRX_ngs/edit?usp=sharing I vaguely tried to put a start at various section headings for things to write about but I'm not very good at actually doing the more in depth word things, but people who are good at that part it would be good to start working on that aspect? I feel we've compiled a fair many sources and should start thinking about how to put it together, and then can consider what other resources we might need.
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