Tylore

yeah, if i remember correctly, in the promotional art they had a winky face after introducing elsa’s friend, and continue to wink after any sort of hinting toward her being lesbian. yeah, society is so weird abt single women. when i was young (before i came out, i’m a trans dude btw lol) they always asked me about “who my husband will be” and “what will he be like” and i was just like,,,,, bruh im a /child/ also, don’t apoligize! hearing abt this was super interesting!!!!

I JUST REALIZED SOMETHING THAT MADE ME QUESTION MY ENTIRE REALITY. Okay, so as a kid, I loved planning my marriage, but hated thinking about who I was marrying, because I didn’t actually want to marry anyone. I didn’t understand why everyone else wanted marriage and romance, but I didn’t. So I participated in it anyway, because I felt like I had to like all these things, because I didn’t want to be different. Could it have also been that I genuinely wanted those things at that time? Maybe. Could that just be me overthinking? Absolutely, and it probably is. God, this is connected to so many of my issues and ID’s, this is so big for me, thank you newbie aropocalypse account that made me think of this, you helped me so much, god. I didn’t even think of this questioning, I’m such a dumbass, thank you.

Yeah, as a kid I loved the idea of marriage, but never any of the actual content or how to get there. It was just a sort of, for fun. I still think it could be a bit fun. You don’t have to have the same experience, though! (Also, thanks for mentioning this, you kind of made a bunch of issues click for me! It really helped me realize some stuff!)

I guess you could start by gently reminding her whenever marriage/kids is brought up that not everyone wants those things? I know that’s scary, but you could use “exploring your amatonormativity to be a better aro/ace ally” as an excuse, as that would probably push her to learn more about the topic. If she says “are you sure you’re not just aro/ace” call her out on her fake ally bullshit. A good argument there would be, “I listen to aro/aces when they complain. These ideals hurt them. You don’t have to be aro/ace to empathize and try to fix what’s wrong” or something along those lines, idk, do whatever’s comfortable to you. (Also, some B&J!)

Congrats on figuring yourself out! I also like drawing and reading! Also, have some B&J!

Absolutely. The thing with Elsa is, not only is she an unusual example of a main without romantic focus, Disney heavily hinted at her having a girlfriend/being gay in promoting the sequel. Disney is does this so much, what with their numerous cancelled/platform-changing shows, and they’ve made it pretty clear that their stance on LGBT+ is subject to change, depending on whether or not it financially benefits them. They will announce a queer show on Disney+, then move it to a less associated with Disney platform, cancel representation, use targeted ads to promote queer rep for it only to be implied/extras, and they control almost the entire entertainment industry now.

I think some allos avoid people as a method of getting rid of unwanted romantic feelings. Still, dick move.

Yeah, it’s both a mental health thing (related to ASD, PTSD, similar disorders) and an aro thing. It really sucks, because people always act like having boundaries with touch is this huge big bad deal, n like,,,,, no? It’s not a personal offense against you, I just don’t like being touched sometimes/certain areas/certain ways?

Honestly, I think my original fascination with shipper culture is how complex you could make a single dynamic between two people be. There’s so many different factors, like shared interests, who listens more, inside jokes, shared experiences, how comfortable they are with eachother/others in certain contexts, etc.; I just find it so interesting. Now it’s more of a “wow, you can really ship anyone huh?” OMG THIS SOUNDS SO COOL!?!?!>!@!!@!!!! Are you planning on trying to publish this, please I’m begging, it sounds so cool!

I think most allos just don’t think about it, or don’t think about allyship, unless its brought up to them. Kinda weird, but I get it in a vague sense?

1.Not being completely romance repulsed and/or not being completely aro 2.Trauma/depression-related issues that may have caused my reciprocation-repulsion 3.Occasional sex repulsion (area in which I’m sorta questioning) (I’ve seen a lot of alloallos call aro “just ace but fancier” and like,,,no.)

Honestly? Educating myself on these labels, and the prejudices on it. That might not be helpful to you, though, so what ever works! (Also, the repulsed after opportunity bit sounds a bit like Lithro, but that might just be me projecting) (also, have some icecream!)

God, I have a perfect song but I forgot it’s name, anyone remember a chill alt song with lithro/apro/akoiro vibes?

Anyone else ever experienced dismissal of their orientation based off of trauma, depression, attachment avoidance issues, etc.? Anyway, this is partially an excuse to rant, so here we go: I’ve been told I’m arospec because of my suspected depression (Several people in my life firmly believed I have depression, but I honestly don’t know, which is why I put suspected in front of it). It really sucked, because I was trying to open up to them, and they just dismissed it as dangerously low hormone levels. Even if that’s true, why does that matter? Why can’t it be both? Why is this something you think must be fixed? (Sorry, got a little ranty there)

I’ve had a very similar experience as an apromantic, maybe look into it and it’s other names, lithromantic/apromantic/akoiromantic? Hopefully this helps/makes sense. Personally, I don’t think the difference matters too much. If a label makes someone comfortable, they should use it. But I can kind of see where you’re coming from, and I don’t know how to answer that. I might get back to you once I’m more educated on attachment avoidance. Ok, so all I really found so far is that it’s considered pseudoscientific, because it currently has no definable diagnostic requirements. It’s validity is questioned among many medical professionals. Also, who says someone can’t be both? One label doesn’t invalidate another, intersectionality is common