Kharina

Glad to see there are some UK aros out there Could potentially organise an online meetup for now for us all to say hello to each other if people were up for that. Setting up a group chat on here is a good idea too @~Aurora~, do you know how to do that? (new to the forums and not the best with technology!!)

Thanks Holmbo, really interesting to hear how the concept and weight put on romantic relationships and friendships has changed over time. Really helped me feel valid and that my friendships etc can be just as strong and meaningful as romantic relationships despite what society says

Welcome That does sound very confusing and complicated. I've never been in a relationship so can't give a lot of advice I'm afraid. I wonder if you've spoken to J about any of the way you feel or if you're worried that would affect your friendship or just trying to work it out yourself first?

I hadn't realised they had hinted at her having a girlfriend, that's really interesting! I'd seen hints of both aro and lesbian/interest in women in Frozen 2 so wasn't sure which way they were going with it. I think either way it's great to have a Disney princess who stays single long term or (though I think it's really unlikely they would ever show this on screen) pairs up with a woman, regardless of orientation - even just a female character staying single for life whatever their orientation is a good thing for children and especially girls to see that marriage isn't the only way a happy future can be. And obviously if disney were to explicitly feature a central character with someone of the same gender would be amazing and groundbreaking, though unlikely- there would be a lot of backlash sadly. The only thing that makes me slightly annoyed about Elsa (spoilers for Frozen 2): Yeah in case you can't tell I am a bit of a Frozen geek... apologies!

I remember being asked out first year of uni by a guy I was good friends with. I kind of panicked when asked if I wanted to go out and said 'I don't know' ? Not sure what I was thinking with that response... well, I did as I'd been on a horrendously awkward date with someone in school, mistaking being flattered that someone was interested in me and wanting to have a boyfriend with actually liking him, and wanted to avoid a repeat experience. So the guy in uni spends the entire time walking back to halls trying to convince me, I eventually say yes and then there ends up being a slight miscommunication about the time (which I probably could have avoided by clarifying more but wasn't exactly motivated to so it was accidentally-on-purpose) and I ended up unintentionally standing him up... oops. I'd mentioned to one friend we were going out that night and then when I obviously didn't as we'd had the miscommunication a couple of my friends spent the evening with me in my dorm room probably to try and make me feel better, which was great fun (I think there was cake and lots of laughter and silliness)- FAR better than going on any date. Yeah... looking back on it, that really should have been a sign. But in fairness I'd never even heard of asexual as a label then, let alone aromantic or that the two were even separate things, so maybe I can forgive 18 year old me her confusion!

Wow that's a good list and don't think any I've read so will have to check some out! I have heard of the Farley Mowat one and I have seen the film of Schindler's list but not the book, so if the book is (as usual!) better may have to have a look.

Hi, Just wondering if there are any UK-based aros here, particularly northern ones (I'm based in Yorkshire). Would love to make some aro friends so wondering if there's anyone out there in a similar area?

Hi, I'm also new and a lot of the stuff you said resonated. Especially the bit about joined-at-the-hip couples, although that can be an initial phase that doesn't last too long. I find it annoying though when one of the couple is a friend I know well and can talk about deep emotional stuff with or just be silly and myself with and suddenly there is this complete stranger along with them all the time. Especially as my friends are a bit scattered around the country so when I do get to see them it's often only for a limited time as well. I like getting to know their partner too but it's nice when friends in relationships make some time to spend with me one on one, as having the partner there really changes the dynamic, especially at first. I've tried to date but never had a romantic relationship, it never worked out and usually just becomes very awkward very quickly. I hate dating but keep trying to put myself through it wondering similar things to you 'have I just not met the right person yet?' 'is it something 'wrong' with me that I'm not letting anyone close enough'. I feel very much like the odd one out, increasingly so as friends pair off.

Hi all, Fairly new here and love to read - always on the lookout for recommendations! What are some of everyone's favourite genres/authors/books? I read a mix of things (except horror, I am easily scared!) but been reading more fantasy lately than I used to and getting in to that a bit more. Really been enjoying Robin Hobb's books recently. Some of my all-time favourite authors are Terry Pratchett and Alexander McCall Smith.

Yorkshire, England. Any other UK aros out there?

The Help (movie and book are both very good). It's not quite no-romance, as there are a couple of small romantic side-plotlines, but one of them doesn't go the way they usually do (can't say more without spoilers!) and other types of relationships are foregrounded, as are just general principles of being a good person. One of the main characters is also fighting the cultural assumptions of being a woman in the 1950s, that you are just there to get married and have babies, so even though she isn't an aro character it's a nice one for anyone who also feels (though I'd hope less so in the modern world!) pressured by those ideas too.

With at least one other person who I got on really well with and was a close friend or maybe a closely knit small group. I think I'd also like to have/adopt a child one day, so I guess them, and if someone I was close friends with/living with wanted to commit to coparenting that would be awesome This does seem like a totally unrealistic dream though especially as I get older as I'm at that stage where most people I know in real life have or are pairing off!

Hello, I'm wondering if any of you have any experiences to share around dealing with loneliness and/or developing positive fulfilling relationships (with a small r!) as aros? I'm wondering whether I'm aromantic (certainly haven't yet experienced romantic attraction to anyone unless it's a LOT milder than I've been led to believe by others!). This gives me two worries about the future, both linked together - firstly loneliness and not having people to spend time with regularly, especially as friends get into relationships, married etc. and have less time for friendships (doesn't help that I've moved around a lot so my friends are scattered across the country, though I'm lucky to have good friends who do make time for me, especially my closest friend!), and secondly I do feel I'd like to have kids and while I'm thinking about doing this on my own I know social support networks are going to be crucial even if I'm not in a relationship with someone. I think I'm a bit socially anxious too and worry a lot about what others think of me and whether I've said something wrong etc.! Just wondering really if anyone else has had the same worries/concerns or had any success in addressing them? Kind of like the idea of a QPR too potentially but have no idea where to look for one, not sure dating sites are the best place. Or even just developing a network of friends in a similar situation (not that I don't enjoy friendships with non-aros too, just would be nice to know some people in similar situations as well). Thanks in advance for any experiences/thoughts you can share, really helps to hear others' experiences

Thanks for the replies both (and the cookie!) Glad I am not the only one who feels confused!

Hi all, I'm new here! I've been on AVEN for a little while and I'm pretty sure I fall somewhere on both the asexual and aromantic spectrums, but I still feel very confused as I've not had a relationship so feel I can't be entirely sure until I've tried (I was, and then a friend who until then hadn't had any relationships either and felt somewhat similar started online dating and quickly realised she was both romantic and sexual, which made me realise how much things can change). I'm trying online dating again with my ace status out there this time, but still not massively keen on it, something in me just seems to go 'ugh, no' and it feels like a chore. This forum seems really helpful for finding out more about aromanticism, which may help my confusion? Maybe? Outside orientations, I'm a woman from the UK who loves horse riding, reading, walking, wildlife/nature, cooking, very amateur singing in choirs and dance. Not sure what else to put here really, except hello and looking forward to 'meeting' you