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About Magni

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    Advanced Member

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    Aromantic Asexual & aplatonic-spec
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    College Student, Engineering major

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  1. Making judgements against the validity of people's identities is not permitted. People identifying as non-sam aro/just aro is perfectly valid, people are allowed to identify in the way that is comfortable for them. This thread is locked because it was never a productive conversation so it is best to prevent escalation.
  2. Oh yeah a mood, fortunately I've mainly DM'd for groups of aro people (I have an aro d&d server with varying levels of activity) and in other groups I've always been out, but yeah that can be challenging. I once had a play-by-post game where then it ended up basically revolving around one player and their npc romantic partner roleplaying a lot so I ended up really disliking that game, and had conflict when there were vague plans for another pbp where I expressed concerns bc that kind of excessive focus on romantic stuff caused me a lot of romance repulsion and made me feel alienated from the game....and they completely disrespected my romance repulsion and made me feel unwelcome. Apparently, some people feel they are entitled to roleplaying romance in their d&d. You could also express discomfort with players about roleplaying romantic stuff without actually coming out? and like, possibly establish level of comfort (such as maybe saying yeah this happens vs. having to actually roleplay it out).
  3. That's a really good question, I'm not sure. I think it's theoretically a thing? Bc some people get crushes and date but like....they don't seem to actually like eachother as friends at all? But without some sort of platonic basis it seems unlikely for those kinds of relationships to last particularly long (in contrast, often when people get married they say they're marrying their best friend, bc there's a friendship aspect to their relationship). But it's really hard to be sure bc attractions are so nebulous to define.
  4. I relate....and have specifically had issues of friends just....not making time for me at all because once they started dating someone suddenly all their free time was occupied by their partner....even though had previous discussions with said friend that indicated them understanding the value I put on friendship such that didn't think they would do that. I don't think they even realize they're doing it. For me it's less "I must be top ranked person to this person", and more "I want this person to actually prioritize me enough to care to spend time with me, rather than having other people consistently prioritized over me". So it's rough, yeah.....at this point most of my friends are online friends who are also aro tbh. I don't particularly have good advice for dealing with it (bc have generally become rather jaded about such things in recent years), but yeah, big relate.
  5. It tends to have periods of more activity then times when it's less active....but it's going to consistently be less active then other forms of social media just due to the forum format. Many of the most active discussions have been like....debates over terminology and what stuff means....which can have a fair bit of conflict sometimes. Can take inspiration for things to discuss here from other places, so from like posts on social media like tumblr relating to aro stuff, or perhaps looking at the monthly carnival of aros topic for inspiration of stuff to discuss, or maybe reading over some of AUREA's more recent articles for inspiration of things to discuss. Also in general can talk about experiences, intersection of aromanticism with other identities, and topics related to activism.
  6. INTJ....it's funny we talked about personality type stuff like this in one of my engineering classes and they're like "the stereotypical engineering is INTJ" and like yes, yes I am. Did the big 5 thing too: Openness: 56% Conscientiousness: 67% Extroversion: 58% Agreeableness: 41% Neuroticism: 60% I think aros are more likely to be introverted, at least according to personality tests like this. (not that all are of course, but compared to general population). There's also more complicated stuff like overlap with neurodivergency and stuff, and how these kinds of tests are based more off of neurotypical people and other demographically bias sets and stuff.
  7. In middle school some dude's friends came and was like "so and so likes you/wants to date you", and since I a) am bad with faces and b) thought the thing about sending a friend to ask someone out was just stupid, I was like "who even is that"? in hindsight I'm not sure if they were serious or if it was supposed to be a prank or whatever, I was generally bad with social cues.
  8. I know there's at least some people here in their 30's, though I don't know about many older. I'd say out of aro online spaces, the forums is more likely to included people who are 30, 40+ because they would generally be more familiar with forums as a medium in general (whereas college-aged people like myself tend to be more comfortable with places like tumblr; this is the first forum I've actually used). Due to a variety of factors it seems like there aren't many older (40+) aros who know they are aro and engage in the community, but I have seen some in those age ranges pop up in various survey results, but typically very few. I also think older aroaces tend to be in ace communities more than aro communities because they discovered identities earlier when there was only ace communities and thus are already at home in ace communities without as much need to seek out aro communities.
  9. It's kinda common in english for us to use latin roots for words? And I think using amato- works better than romance anyways because I think amatonormativity is thus able to more broadly include things in a way that isn't limited to romance.
  10. I don't know of a lithro-related discord server, but I do know one server run by an aro who experiences romantic attraction and has channel for romance/relationship stuff, so it might be a more lithro-friendly setting compared to some other aro discords? If that sounds like something that you would find helpful, you can DM me and I can send you a link for it.
  11. Oriented aroace is for aroaces who experience other attractions such that they are oriented, for example an aroace who experiences strong queerplatonic attraction to people of all genders might consider themselves pan-oriented aroace. I like the concept of aroace flag as a single concept but have always strongly disliked the blue-orange one because the color symbolism is not innately recognizable as being related to ace & aro stuff, and had made my own flag shortly after the blue-orange one was made (can see flag coining post here for meanings etc).
  12. ...there's another thread on this forum where had big conversation of what a-spec means, personally I as an agender person do not think agender should be included under a-spec bc while you would talk about ace-spec and aro-spec, you don't talk about agender-spec, so why would agender be part of a-spec? agender is part of nonbinary.
  13. I tend to view "aroace" as a single word encapsulating both, as opposed to "aro ace" or "aromantic asexual" which is just combining the two separate words into a phrase. You could also identify specifically as "a-spec", which can be used for not differentiating the attractions you don't feel into different types, though that is more commonly used as broad umbrella term.
  14. Romantic attraction is hard to define for everyone, and especially amongst aros who don't feel it. However, recently ended up trying define it as "a bundle of various other types of attraction, though specific attractions involved can vary, and which is also wrapped up together with wanting it to be romantic and the societal norms that entails." Basically, if you feel various attractions and you aren't sure if they could maybe be considered romantic or not, but you don't want it to be romantic attraction or don't desire a romantic relationship based on those attractions, then it's not romantic attraction. Also, having problems differentiating between romantic and platonic/other attractions would fall under quoiromantic, which is still aro-spec and also included under aro/aromantic.
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