Would you get married?

[roboticanary]

and why?

I personally don't care at all about it and don't think I will, but I can think of quite a few reasons why it might be interesting, for example legal benefits to someone being a spouse rather than a close friend you live with, or just wanting a party with a fucking massive cake. Or maybe you want some sort of queer platonic relationship but if another person wanted it you wouldn't turn it down.

So out of interest, is that something you would do?

 

[AroAcedragon13]

Probably not I would rather just chill with friends.And maybe a cat or dog if I get one. :)

[lovelyleaf]

I would but I don't really care either way

[Ikarus]

Yes and No. No because I am aromantic and repulsed to romance, yes because I want societal goodies (Legal and financial incentives) and if my future aro friend, whoever that may be wants those goodies, then why not. Honestly I don't care if other people think we are married because we must love love romantically since we are married (whatever). One of my biggest fears though that makes me want to get married is medical decisions. If I am incapacitated and I am likely going to be living far far away from my family then I want to know I can be taken care of, and I want to be able to help another aro in that scary situation as well. Also I don't like the idea of not being able to see my friend in the hospital because (I am not family.) And the only way to see them would be to be recognized as family in the eyes of the state. 

So technically yes but not for romantic reasons.

Edited July 4, 2022 by Ikarus

[SkyTuneRein]

I want the cake too, but weddings are expensive. And besides, not many would marry me.

[Lovebird]

I'm on the fence about it. I'm only willing to do it because my boyfriend wants to change his surname to mine. This biggest issue is that fact I'm scared I'll lose my pension if I do marry him, we're both disabled. Besides the fact I don't really care about wedding culture and think it's kind of toxic, it's also rather expensive, though small yet cheap weddings are becoming popular in my country so I might consider it. And I'm also worried I'll lose my Miss title, I don't like the idea of going by a mrs and prefer to be my own independence instead of being 'owned' by my future husband. I'm also not keen on the idea of told my relationship is only valid via a government certified piece of paper, I feel like we're emotionally & spiritually married already. 

[Holmbo]

I would marry a close friend if they needed it to stay in the country. Otherwise not. I don't like coupling.

[Deltalorian]

I used to think that I would but well, you know. So probably not unless it's for a QPR.

[Angrboda]

Pretty sure that hell would freeze over first.

[Nix]

Nope, definitely not.

But I can see what you mean by ‘benefits’. Or just dumb rules made to favour married couples…I remember an item on the news a couple of years back were two women were being interviewed about their marriage; they were both single parents and best friends and wanted to live close to each other. They decided they wanted to buy a big house and split it in two, but they couldn’t get the mortgage for it. Until they realised that it would be no problem to get the mortgage if they were married, so they did.

 

[Holmbo]

1 hour ago, Nix said:

Nope, definitely not.

But I can see what you mean by ‘benefits’. Or just dumb rules made to favour married couples…I remember an item on the news a couple of years back were two women were being interviewed about their marriage; they were both single parents and best friends and wanted to live close to each other. They decided they wanted to buy a big house and split it in two, but they couldn’t get the mortgage for it. Until they realised that it would be no problem to get the mortgage if they were married, so they did.

 

Interesting. I don't think this would happen in my country since many couples aren't married here.

[YokaiDisarray]

I would love to as a symbol of how much I love my friends and whatnot. And also tax/medical/etc reasons.

[A User]

i prolly wont

but i'd attend weddings for the free food and drinks, as i do with other parties

[roboticanary]

8 hours ago, Nix said:

I remember an item on the news a couple of years back were two women were being interviewed about their marriage; they were both single parents and best friends and wanted to live close to each other.

wow, I like that.  Sucks that that was how they needed to work things out though.

15 hours ago, Ikarus said:

Also I don't like the idea of not being able to see my friend in the hospital because (I am not family.) And the only way to see them would be to be recognized as family in the eyes of the state. 

Ah thats shit. I remember a similar thing happening to my uncle, because he was not married at the time he had some serious trouble when his girlfriend had a tricky pregnancy. Hospital guest rules are a real pain it seems. 

[aro_elise]

definitely not.  i don't like that it's a romantic thing even if not in my case, like i wouldn't like saying i'm married because people would assume, you know.  idk who i'd marry anyway, like i guess my best friend but she's probably going to marry a romantic partner someday.  but no, i wouldn't in any case.

[alto]

I'd consider it.  It would depend on a lot of factors.

[Bumble_Bee-]

i would get married because of a few things 1. to get my parents to stop bugging me abt marriage

2. this thing I found on google: Married couples usually more trustworthy and can get easier credit from a bank.

[Apex]

I would if I had a partner (or close friend) and we'd been together for a few years, and we both wanted to. Like others have mentioned, the legal/financial/medical/housing benefits are hard to pass up. Though I would want a prenup as well.

One downside is that it'd be difficult to explain to people that we aren't romantically involved- especially each-others families. I'm either way as far as a wedding goes, I just don't want something really big or expensive, and maybe a broader commitment ceremony might be better than a capital-W wedding.

[Mihiko]

No. The reason is simple - it costs too much.

And I don't care about it. I liked to imagine myself in a wedding dress because it's pretty but the whole marriage thing doesn't appeal to me.

[tyledgarlic]

this used to be a solid yes for me. cake, financial benefits, party, etc sounds fun. Now i realize that when i actually put myself in that equation i’m not so keen, sounds. excessive, to legally bind myself to someone with a whole ceremony just for tax benefit.

If i ever do feel the need, i’ll keep it to a minimum of legal requirements and ice cream cake with friends. Maybe a fancy-scmancy suit, as a treat

On 7/6/2022 at 1:34 PM, Apex said:

I would if I had a partner (or close friend) and we'd been together for a few years, and we both wanted to. Like others have mentioned, the legal/financial/medical/housing benefits are hard to pass up. Though I would want a prenup as well.

One downside is that it'd be difficult to explain to people that we aren't romantically involved- especially each-others families. I'm either way as far as a wedding goes, I just don't want something really big or expensive, and maybe a broader commitment ceremony might be better than a capital-W wedding.

legally, all you have to do is go to the courthouse with papers, ordained official, and ~60$. differs where you’re from but you can go pretty cheap w/ that, depending on whether you want to use someones house or a public space

[Collie]

Probs only as part of a QPR and only for legal benefits. No wedding, just a courthouse signing us as a married couple.

[The Gray Warlock]

On 7/4/2022 at 4:47 AM, Nix said:

Nope, definitely not.

But I can see what you mean by ‘benefits’. Or just dumb rules made to favour married couples…I remember an item on the news a couple of years back were two women were being interviewed about their marriage; they were both single parents and best friends and wanted to live close to each other. They decided they wanted to buy a big house and split it in two, but they couldn’t get the mortgage for it. Until they realised that it would be no problem to get the mortgage if they were married, so they did.

 

Now that's some high level system gaming. Mad respect.

[bro-im-nerodivergent-af]

I wanna get married if I have a platonic partner later in life, but its not like a set goal for myself. I'm might get married, might not 🤷‍♀️  Also depends on what happening in my life and my metal stability.

[MaxIsCosmic]

probably not I just wanna live with someone I love and enjoy me being around them, wether it is romantic or platonic. 

[Themathlover]

I don't know about the US and else in the world, but as a French person, I don't see many legal benefits from civil marriage. The spouses must have a common residency, share their bills and most of their belongings... I don't want it, especially as an arospec girl. Why would I do this, what would I take advantage of in this situation ? I mean, isn't it simpler to settle down with someone you want a lifetime long relationship with without being romantically attracted to them, like a queerplatonic commitment, and just enjoy your life together ? Honestly, I don't even know why the concept of marriage was invented. I think it originates from religions, to control sexuality, reproduction and preserve bloodlines, but why does it remain in secular societies ? That's a real question, why do people feel like marrying is the accomplishment of love, it's merely a formality, how does it impact the initial love you had for your partner ? I don't know if alloromantics feel the same about it, but the value attributed to marriage in secular societies by atheist people has always left me perplex. If you're not in any religion and don't believe that marriage is a sacred command, then, what's so special in it ? I remember attending a wedding when I was 11, on March 2019, and faking enthusiasm about it because everyone did and I wouldn't have appreciated being frowned upon. But, even at 11, I had this uncomprehension. It meant nothing to me, it was worthless. I was just happy to get so much food in just one day, but the wedding in itself didn't interest me whatsoever. I'm Muslim, therefore, I do attribute value to religious marriage, however, in Islam at least, there is no need for preparing a ceremony and having fun partying all night, you're not obliged to celebrate anything : it's a contract. This is what I learned from my recent reasearch. Two persons agree to share responsibilities and fulfill each other, then, whenever two Muslims persons think they can live together and have the same needs and wishes, they can marry.

So, I don't think I will ever marry civilly, but religiously, perhaps.

Edited February 26, 2023 by Themathlover