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Would you get married?


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For me to generally marry anyone, which I doubt would happen, I believe I would have to feel a very strong alterous attraction to them. Even then, I may still not marry them nor have a relationship, but that's kind of the only way I'd see myself marrying anyone. The reason why I would marry them, if I did, would be for convenience for the both of us!

Edited by The Newest Fabled Creature
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17 minutes ago, The Newest Fabled Creature said:

For me to generally marry anyone, which I doubt would happen, I believe I would have to feel a very strong alterous attraction to them. Even then, I may still not marry them nor have a relationship, but that's kind of the only way I'd see myself marrying anyone. The reason why I would marry them, if I did, would be for convenience for the both of us!

Whenever the topic of marriage comes up it’s taken very lightly in my brain. I mean I know that’s a big deal but to me that’s just.. there. Like if I was forced to marry I’d just drift through a marriage and break up afterwards. XD

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1 minute ago, HelloThere said:

Whenever the topic of marriage comes up it’s taken very lightly in my brain. I mean I know that’s a big deal but to me that’s just.. there. Like if I was forced to marry I’d just drift through a marriage and break up afterwards. XD

I understand that! There's times where I take it lightly, and then there's times where I understand the whole entire "big heavy weight and dream" of it that alloromantics make a big deal of. I only understand that aspect of it when I get cold sweats because someone in my immediate family would bring it up and expect me to agree (especially my mom).

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Just now, The Newest Fabled Creature said:

I understand that! There's times where I take it lightly, and then there's times where I understand the whole entire "big heavy weight and dream" of it that alloromantics make a big deal of. I only understand that aspect of it when I get cold sweats because someone in my immediate family would bring it up and expect me to agree (especially my mom).

Yeah, probably the only reason I’m impartial about relationships is that the full weight of what you have to sacrifice and the emotional connection inside it is like. XD

1 minute ago, The Newest Fabled Creature said:

I understand that! There's times where I take it lightly, and then there's times where I understand the whole entire "big heavy weight and dream" of it that alloromantics make a big deal of. I only understand that aspect of it when I get cold sweats because someone in my immediate family would bring it up and expect me to agree (especially my mom).

It’s strange how one moment someone can be impartial on marriage and the moment that it’s brought up for themselves they panic. It’s strange because that’s literally me. XD

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9 minutes ago, HelloThere said:

Yeah, probably the only reason I’m impartial about relationships is that the full weight of what you have to sacrifice and the emotional connection inside it is like. XD

It’s strange how one moment someone can be impartial on marriage and the moment that it’s brought up for themselves they panic. It’s strange because that’s literally me. XD

Literally me! I would be vibing and then the mood is dropped drastically lol

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7 minutes ago, The Newest Fabled Creature said:

Literally me! I would be vibing and then the mood is dropped drastically lol

Like every single time that I feel ok with the idea of romance (not really for me) I get reminded that I’m NOT ok with that for me at all, far less for myself than I think. XD

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  • 5 weeks later...
  • 1 month later...

I'd be down to get married to a friend for all the legal benefits and get my family to stop asking questions. The sound of doing laundry and taxes with my best friend doesn't seem too awful.

Tho I'll most likely still keep the relationship open so my partner can look elsewhere if they want romance or sex.

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Probably not. I don't experience romantic or sexual attraction, so getting married for that is off the table. I honestly can't see myself in a QPR, and even if I was, I think that getting married for that would just confuse all my friends and family who don't get the nuance of it. In addition, being married generally implies you're in some way attracted to them person you're married to, and having to correct everyone every time they assumed something incorrect would be really annoying. 

For a similar reason, I probably won't get married for all the legal benefits like healthcare and such. 

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  • 1 month later...

i highly doubt i’d ever get married. even before realizing i was aro, i didn’t like the idea of marriage. why get the government involved in your personal relationships??

i can understand from a legal protection and tax standpoint why you’d want to get married,, but i think it’s bs you have to get married in order to receive those things in the first place haha. 

no hate to those who do what marriage, these are just my personal thoughts on marriage for myself 

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i might if i had a QPP i was especially close with but generally i'm leaning towards no. yeah i'd like the financial benefits and perhaps even throw a small party (aka an excuse to eat cake lol), but i wouldn't want anything more fancy or serious than that. i'd rather just have a friendly partnership than be bound together by law, plus if it didn't work out it would be easier to just break up than to go through the whole divorce process.

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That's a very good question. I believe my most favoured option for my future would be to live with a close friend, platonically. Marriage COULD still be an option, I mean, you don't have to throw a big, expensive party with a fat cake, guests, priests and whatnot, you can just sign legal papers and boom, married, officially at least.

Here in germany marriage has plenty of legal advantages (Mostly financial), though I'd have to fully trust my partner of choice because divorce is actually really hard here and if my partner would not play along make it an excrutiating financial expense. 

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No. Not even for legal benefits. It's bullshit that you have to be married to get such benefits. Yeah, I may be at a financial disadvantage, but who cares? Money is corrupt anyways, and I'll stand up for myself, even if it means sacrificing some societal "benefit".

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The idea of it doesn't bug me. I will if I am good friends with them and there is some benefit. Sharing healthcare is a big one, and if it helps me adopt and raise kids all the better.

No wedding, though a wedding cake could be nice.

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  • 4 weeks later...

Your perspective on marriage is quite practical and sensible. It's true that marriage doesn't have to be a grand and expensive affair; it can be as simple as signing legal papers to formalize a commitment.In Germany, the legal advantages of marriage, especially financial ones, can be significant. However, as you mentioned, trust and compatibility with your partner are crucial factors to consider, given that divorce can be a challenging and costly process.If you ever decide to take that step and are in need of wedding videography services, you can explore wedding wideography Sunderland for more information and options. Capturing the moments of your special day can be a wonderful way to preserve memories.

Edited by JoeFritz
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I would like to live with another person and have a relationship that is just between us, I would like to marry them as a symbol of our compromise to be together. It probably wouldnt be a traditional wedding but some kind of event between close friends 

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Sure. Having a life partner seems practical and I'd want the legal protection of marriage if we were to combine finances or have a kid. And parties are fun.

Wouldn't be as emotional for me as it is for alloros tho

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I'd love to have a friend who I could dedicate my life to being there for, and them for me. It is a hard, lonely world, and people tend to come and go, so for sure I'd get married if it meant having a beloved companion in my life. I don't believe there needs to be romance or sex in a relationship for there to be love. I love any of my close friends well enough to want to spend the rest of my life with them. I probably wouldn't have a wedding though, unless they wanted one, but I'm not really big on big events. 

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  • 5 months later...
Posted (edited)

It's like trying to fit a square peg in a round hole, right? And the whole idea of QPRs (Queer Platonic Relationships) can be tricky to explain to people who aren't familiar with the concept. It's like you're constantly having to give a crash course in relationship dynamics. As for the legal benefits of marriage, like healthcare and such, it's a tough call. Sure, those perks are tempting, but is it worth it if it doesn't align with your feelings and beliefs? Plus, navigating family law, especially when it comes to something as serious as marriage, can be a headache. I mean, just the thought of having to consult a divorce lawyer Oceanside or anywhere else is enough to make anyone think twice. It's nice to know there are others out there who aren't rushing into things just because society says so.

Edited by Rockswave
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On 8/20/2023 at 7:04 AM, Green Bean said:

I'd be down to get married to a friend for all the legal benefits and get my family to stop asking questions. The sound of doing laundry and taxes with my best friend doesn't seem too awful.

Tho I'll most likely still keep the relationship open so my partner can look elsewhere if they want romance or sex.

Same!! I'd love a QPR with a guy that's my bestie as long as it isn't romantic. Then for legal benefits, we could get married and be two best friends who live together. I wouldn't care if they wanted to date someone else, I just want to have a roommate who I'm best friends with. Plus a small wedding is the best excuse to eat cake :D

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Posted (edited)

I used to think that I would do it for a partner if they really really needed it to be done since I really really don't care about it, but marriage is something that I did find so odd even as a kid, so no, I don't think I would and whoever wants tolive with me has to deal with that. as a side note I have been to two weddings and both have been so stressful to me, I really showed up for the people because I know how important it is to them (I kind of was an ally to their allonormative feelings lol), but I am not gonna attend one more, it has robbed me the last nerve^^

Edited by arodime
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