aro_elise
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i had a dream my best friend and i were married platonically. it was cute but i don't actually want to.
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yeah i'm not sure i'm very good at describing it. have you heard the analogy to a craving for a certain food? i think it's the best one there is. it can really vary, like i can just see someone briefly and think he's hot and that's it, not think any more about it, or it can be very strong attraction, which involves explicit sexual thoughts, physical sensations like arousal and a sort of fluttery feeling in my chest, and sexual frustration (either i can't have him at all or if i am sleeping with him then outside of those very moments i think about it a lot). also i sometimes get nervous when interacting with someone i find sexually attractive, which doesn't happen with just aesthetic attraction.
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in a sexual context i absolutely love it.
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Books about being a woman not about romance or children
aro_elise replied to Holmbo's topic in Intersectionality
no such novels featuring adult female characters come to mind but there are coming-of-age ones like a tree grows in brooklyn by betty smith and invitation to the waltz by rosamond lehmann, and then there are non-fiction feminist works like the second sex by simone de beauvoir, the feminine mystique by betty friedan, and a room of one's own by virginia woolf. note that all of these are 60-100 years old (i read mostly classic literature) but i think it's really helpful to have that perspective and i absolutely recommend these to everyone. -
It feels good to know I'm not alone <3
aro_elise replied to Dark Confidant's topic in Welcome And Forum Rules
hi! the farthest i'll go is metalcore, i like ice nine kills, architects, and spiritbox. -
i could describe what's important to me in a friend and what i'd like in a sexual partner (my "type"), and i guess combining them would result in my ideal fwb, but that's it. nothing would make me want to date someone. and i wouldn't love anyone more than my existing best friend.
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why do i use the 'aromantic' label? well, because it describes my experience. it would no matter what word was used, so i might as well use the accurate one. you know what they say: "aros by any other name..." full disclosure, not completely original, i saw a similar punchline with a totally different setup. in case you're not familiar, the expression is "a rose by any other name would smell as sweet," meaning we make up and assign words to things, but the things are what they are regardless.
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when you're briefly startled whenever you're reminded people have romantic partners. the particular moment i'm thinking of is when the guy i'm sleeping with mentioned an ex of his and i was like, oh right, it would be more surprising if he didn't have any. but yeah it happens pretty much every time.
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lmao i took an aro survey and the options for sexual orientation were lesbian, gay, bisexual, pansexual, asexual, and other. so that's the first and probably last time i've checked 'other' for my sexual orientation and a listed option for my romantic orientation.
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late 1940s-early '50s.
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today i met up with 4 people from a group for child-free women in my city and i mentioned i'm aro (i wanted to talk about amatonormativity and relationship anarchy at that point in the conversation) and it went well. one of them had just days ago learned about aromanticism and listened to podcasts because she was curious about it, and she asked me a few things. so that was nice.
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just saw a tumblr post which called being allo aro/allo ace "none pizza with left attraction". amazing
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the first time i went to pride (with my lesbian friend and her queer friends, including another aro) i was so nervous. which is silly because anyone's allowed to go. like it's on public streets. but anyway. if you mean in general, do i feel that other people consider me to be lgbt+? sometimes. but i consider myself to be, so there we are.
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i haven't either
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just allo aro things: i was taking a survey about female sexuality and media, and i got to the last page which was personal agree/disagree statements, and several were n/a because of my aromanticism so i couldn't finish it.
