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About aro_elise

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    Advanced Member

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    aromantic heterosexual
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    fashion design student

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  1. sensual isn't a separate thing for me, all those things are either romantic, sexual, or platonic, sometimes depending on context. like my fwb and i only kiss, hold hands, or touch at all during sex, besides hugging goodbye (platonic)--i mean nothing while we're sitting around talking or whatever. and i only want to do sexual things with guys i'm sexually attracted to, which is largely based on appearance. i say this to point out the contrast with what it sounds like you're describing, which could be sensual attraction, idk. but i suppose people experience sexual attraction differently, so
  2. it is absolutely possible to have such strong platonic feelings. my best friend is my favourite person, i would unofficially marry her, and i would be completely heartbroken if she ever didn't want to be my best friend anymore. we have been friends for almost 17 years; i don't feel such a deep connection to anyone i've only known for a few years or less, but i do love my friends and get plenty of squishes. in my experience they're a comparatively more superficial platonic attraction, like i kind of "get over" them, like crushes (supposedly--i've never had one). sorry to hear about the situ
  3. there are plenty of us allo aros, and all of our preferences vary--our levels of interest/comfort with friendship, sex, and romance, and in what combinations. like personally, i'm very favourable toward the former two (could be one, the other, or both with a given person, depending how i feel about them), and completely uninterested in and uncomfortable with romance--i avoid any type of relationship with someone i know or feel is romantically attracted to me. i absolutely want to be single my whole life, and to have a lifelong best friend (i do, she's my true love). and i hope it's encourag
  4. yeah, some people have different feelings about those two situations, like someone might actually really like a depiction of a particular romantic activity but would hate to take part in it themselves. personally, my feelings are generally the same--when i see it, it's just kind of "ugh," but the repulsion is stronger when i think about being involved, and stronger still when i actually am. the only time i might be considered favourable is toward beautiful words which happen to be romantic; i admire writers (novel, movie, song, poem, whatever) who can string words together so nicely, but i w
  5. yeah, it's like, single (meaning not currently in a relationship and never been married yet*), in a relationship, married, or divorced. *that's what people generally mean when they say they're single. even "single and not looking" generally still means 'currently not wanting a relationship' (focusing on other things) or 'not specifically looking but if it happens naturally, cool'. which--side note--i feel like is a good attitude for allos to have all the time. like, for someone to focus their life on hunting down a partner can only lead to bad things: disappointment ('watched pot nev
  6. it was interesting. in many cases it would depend on a few different factors, especially the specific person, but i tried to give generally accurate answers.
  7. i had to think about that. if by most often you mean to the highest number of different people, aesthetic. sexual and especially platonic (emotional, i suppose) can certainly be stronger and longer-lasting, but that wasn't the question. also, for me sexual attraction necessarily includes aesthetic, of course that's just men, and i believe i find more women aesthetically attractive, particularly the ones in the old movies i watch, so yeah. as for the others, everything people describe as sensual is either sexual or romantic to me, or i guess a couple things could be platonic, and i guess in
  8. yeah random people or even pictures, like that's pretty much how dating apps work for allo aros/people looking for casual sex, i swipe right on a guy if i think he's hot, which basically means i could see myself sleeping with him--with levels (as @eatingcroutons put it) varying from 'maybe' to 'yes please!' in total it's no more than 1% of guys in my preferred age range; i believe that's more selective than most people and that it varies a lot. i definitely found boys cute by age 7, and as i got older, that just sort of developed into sexual attraction, like 'he's cute' became 'he's cute
  9. sounds more like sex-neutral allo (pan, as you say), or at least gray-pansexual, since sexual orientation has to do with attraction, and sex-favourable/positive, neutral/indifferent, and negative/repulsed refer to attitude regarding having sex. i'm unsure of whether or not i would consider you demi. this sounds very demi, but... this does not. being definitely allosexual myself, i can relate to that. doing something about it is a different thing, i've yet to hit on a dude i see on the street. there is a difference between not wanting to have sex with someone until
  10. yup, that's it. i want to do sexual but not romantic things with them. and it's pretty much immediate, unless you're demi, i guess, because for me it's mostly based on looks, but demeanour, personality, talent, or whatever can increase or decrease my level of attraction to some extent.
  11. a manager at my workplace (cafe) recently clarified that employees could extend their discount to "immediate family members and partner (bf/gf). not friends." so my best friend of 16 years doesn't get a discount but someone's bf/gf of 3 weeks does. not that she even lives in the same city, and if she were to visit (which isn't the best idea), she surely wouldn't mind paying full price--that's not the point, it's the principle. the way this is just an example of privileges extended to romantic partners. and i'm not just complaining because i'm aro--my allo coworker's best friend (she does
  12. told another coworker i'm aro haha we were talking about relationships and stuff, i said i don't date and there's "not a chance" i'll get married, and she wanted to know why.  she responded positively, noting that i get "the good parts of a relationship" ie sex, lol ok i'll take it

  13. same! like i don't understand how sex and/or friendship would lead to romantic attraction (well, i guess i don't know what would) but i hope it doesn't for anyone in any such relationship with me. i feel like it makes sense for aros to be a very sex-positive group overall. love that for us.
  14. my friend was talking about this guy she hooked up with, said she wanted him to like her romantically even though she didn't want to date him??  said she knew i wouldn't understand (she knows i'm aro) and wishes she could be like me.

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