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Apex

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About Apex

  • Birthday November 7

Personal Information

  • Name
    Apex Altra
  • Orientation
    Aro, neu aro, medusan
  • Pronouns
    she/her
  • Location
    US - East Coast

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  1. I'm casually out- if someone asked if I was aro, I'd say yes. Most friends know through me talking about it or through my online profiles. I typically mention it in, say, Discord server intros as well. Other friends may not directly know that I'm aro, but they know I'm a-spec or uninterested in some way. I haven't told my parents outside of saying that I've never been attracted to anyone. I'm not really "out" at school/work but I do have an aro pin on my backpack. So, I don't really feel the need to come out but the info isn't hard to find.
  2. This, too. Cuddling becomes way more uncomfortable for me if the other person is viewing it as romantic. Or if they don't know I'm aro, because then they might be expecting some mutual "spark" which isn't gonna happen
  3. I agree with sol, people who are very "into" pride are typically fighting back against marginalization and practicing self-love. I do think sometimes people get attached to the sense of identity/community and are very excited about being queer because of that, but I don't think it's necessarily a bad thing. However, I do personally feel very separated and isolated from the larger queer community because I can't relate to that sense of pride (or "feeling gay" or "gay/bi culture"). I don't hate myself, I just... don't have the same experiences, I guess? In terms on aromanticism alone, I do have a fair bit of pride and consider it an important part of my identity, because it affects many parts of my life and is very enmeshed with other parts of myself. (Although due to what I mentioned above, I have trouble turning my personal aro pride into a sense of queer pride).
  4. I don't have a lot of experience, but I think it depends. I can definitely relate to liking the idea of cuddling more than the reality. I'm a selfshipper and I love thinking about cuddling my comfort characters, so I assumed I'd be into cuddling irl but... meh? I'm pretty touch-neutral and it turns out that cuddling/hugging doesn't do much for me. I've cuddled with hookups and felt Nothing, and it was weird and awkward because it seemed like the other person was enjoying it. I've talked to people online wanted to see me irl for cuddles (or "cuddles" idk lol), which ended up being uncomfortable and confusing. Being close with very good friends is nice but I haven't cuddled them so I can't say how it would feel. If I had a partner/qpp I think I'd like to cuddle them- maybe not for the tactile feelings, but for the knowledge that we're there for each-other? Everyone is different and societal pressure & stereotypes definitely play a role. There are a lot of guys who enjoy cuddling, they just don't get as many opportunities.
  5. I'm partial to the aardvark, because of the aromanticaardvark tumblr and the old aro-plane forums mascot. It was The aro animal for a good bit there
  6. Personally I don't think there's anything wrong with either monogamy or nonmonogamy. Different things work for different people, both can be healthy or unhealthy, etc etc. I have very little relationship experience so I can't say for sure which I'd prefer, but I've entertained the idea of both and am open to both. Usually when I think about being in a relationship though, it's a monogamous one. Forming strong bonds is rare for me, and can take a long time, so it's unlikely that it would happen with multiple people at once. I've also had jealousy issues in the past and there's a chance that would hinder me being in a polyam setup. I also don't feel the need to have more than one partner. But, certain aspects of nonmonogamy are appealing to me. I like the concept of loving and being affectionate with multiple people, and it also seems like it'd be less pressure on me. I'd be lying if I said I hadn't entertained the idea of being someone's second/secondary partner because it might be the most likely way for me to find a QPR.
  7. Also not an expert, but it sounds like you've already brought up the idea to her and she sounds unsure? If it's something that both of you want to look into more, maybe go through a list of things commonly found in relationships (e.g., "holding hands", "saying 'I love you'", "getting married") and rate how important each item is to you, then compare. This way you can see how similar your needs/wants in a relationship are without necessarily labelling anything as romantic or platonic. Also maybe ask her to describe what she means by "cookie-cutter romantic relationship". Does she want someone to be in love with her romantically, or just want to do a lot of romance-coded things like go on fancy dates? You may both find that you'd be pretty compatible in a QPR (or a mixed QP-romantic relationship). But it's also possible that her needs are different than yours and that a "more"-than-friends relationship wouldn't work out. It sounds like you care a lot about her and maybe have a squish on her. It doesn't sound like you're in love though.
  8. Agreed with the above. I think a merge with AVEN should only happen if there are no alternatives. I think it's nice that Arocalypse would keep it's own "space"/rules/etc. but I'd really rather it not be a sister site to AVEN, since aromanticism is still treated like a sub-category of asexuality by a lot of people.
  9. You Are 20% Conservative, 80% Liberal Social Issues: 25% Conservative, 75% Liberal Personal Responsibility: 25% Conservative, 75% Liberal Fiscal Issues: 0% Conservative, 100% Liberal Ethics: 0% Conservative, 100% Liberal Defense and Crime: 50% Conservative, 50% Liberal
  10. I like hot showers, or lukewarm/cool if it's hot out. I tried taking cool showers regularly for a bit and liked it, but switched back to hot eventually lol.
  11. I think it would be nice to be married one day, but right now it's not a need or anything. Kids are much more iffy. With the right person, maybe 10 years or so from now, I can see myself adopting an older child (like over 7 years old). But it's unlikely.
  12. Welcome! Your icon (with the cat) is really cute 😁
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