Lovebird

I just can't stop messing with everyone's mum's, force of habit 😔

You seem cool too!

Victim-blaming people for being rampantly harassed isn't cute, regardless of wherever they're allo or not. I've literally seen aros do almost the exact same thing. You've clearly misunderstood what I mean when ALL cringe culture is bad. There's no such thing as 'good' cringe culture.

I just believe that at the end of the day, none of us have the right to shame each other, and there's never a greater or lesser evil when it comes to this. Our existences, both aspec and non-aspec, are very complex and deserve respect, each of their own - and it shouldn't be tolerated when someone (regardless of whoever they are) turn their experience of something into an excuse to shame another person. I am not saying people don't have the right to talk about how romance and sex has negatively affected them. Sometimes it's easy to become mad at the world and at random people because of how saturated romance and sex is in multiple cultures. But, it shouldn't be excused if someone takes that anger out and utilizes it as shame.

No, there is no good "cringe culture". At least if we define "cringe culture" as coming from a desire to mock and shame innocent people. This is indefensible, no exceptions. Good that I didn't defend cringe culture then. And blaming victims of online harassment is just awful. Good that I didn't engage in that.

Some threads here on this board admittedly give off a very strong cringe culture vibe, e.g. "Things you've never understood about romance". Similarly, all the many posts like "Isn't <something romantic> weird?"

And yes, this may feel hostile and off-putting for those who experience romantic attraction or are favorable towards it. I understand that.

(That was the context, very obviously, not some hypothetical aro who uploads screenshots from a dating profile of a neurodivergent kid and mocks it. Such a person cannot be defended. Does anyone seriously think otherwise?)

Yet, to put those posts in the same category as the "furry / cosplayer / ... cringe compilations" is strange (to put it mildly). Because what's radically ignored here is: "Isn't <something romantic> weird?" and the like can be interpreted charitably. It might not have a nasty motivation but come from genuine frustration, confusion, cognitive overload or anxiety.

I'm all for efforts to be nicer and quit / restrict / hide the stuff mentioned. I wouldn't miss that stuff. But maybe, maybe, members of a marginalized community, in their own space, should be interpreted charitably? And that's seriously lacking sometimes. I know that a couple of users left because of this.

I think that going along with this problem, people also forget about the grey-aros and the arofluxes, etc…  it’s really sad to see this happening.

Yeah, abusive relationships are a terrible problem that I am so sorry other people have happening to them, and some aros are like "I don't get it so your suffering isn't valid". I don't understand how people can be so terrible and I'm really, really, really sorry on behalf of all aros.

It also completely shits on aros & aces who have also been trapped in abusive relationships, there are aroallos in abusive FWBs, there are alloaces in abusive marriages, aroaces in abusive QPRs. Aroace minors in abusive family situations??