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How are You a 'Bad' Aromantic Spectrum Person?


RedNeko
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- I have a mental disorder and sometimes it's hard to define what is my aromanticism and what instead stems from my disorder

- I'm the aro stereotype of cold, with problems expressing emotions, and very few friends

- I'm into shipping and I greatly enjoy it

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  • 1 month later...

I'm cupioromantic which means even though I can never feel romantic attraction because I am aromantic, I still really really want a romantic relationship and I love romance a little too much.

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I'm a bad aro because I feel like I'm a bad ace because I'm aro :rofl:

 

Theoretically I know that friendship has to be very important in my life, but somehow I don't really do anything about it, so sooner or later I'll be all alone and I don't even know whether or not that's the right way of living for me

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I identify as fully aromantic and heterosexual (heteroflexible maybe?), but...

  • I've been in a (kinda) romantic relationship (monogamous, physical and emotional intimacy)
  • I've said "I love you" unironically to this person
  • I was very much invested in said relationship, and even though it didn't end well, I enjoyed it while it was good and do not regret it
  • I have grown to enjoy many romantic encoded things, e.g.
    • Dating and flirting
    • Cuddling/hugging, hand holding, and bed sharing (outside of sex)
    • Emotional intimacy and support with sexual partners/fwbs 
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  • 3 weeks later...

How am I being a 'bad' (possibly) aro person? 2 ways:

  • I got burned the one time I actually tried dating a guy, and my parents' marriage isn't healthy, so I might have just developed a negative view of romantic relationships from personal experience
  • I still have ships I consume fanworks of, particularly the one I haven't managed to let go of with all the in-universe problems
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  • 1 month later...
  • I can't tell if my previous crushes were actually crushes or if it was just me trying to conform to what everyone expected of me. By "everyone," I mean society and my friends/family.
  • I've kissed two people in my life. The first person had told me about their previous relationships, which made me too uncomfortable. The second person was way too sensual in our purely romantic relationship, and that made me too uncomfortable, too.
  • I keep thinking of marriage as entirely romantic, even though I know it doesn't necessarily have to be romantic.
  • I'm an older autistic teenager.
  • I'm romance-repulsed, but I expect this to be a phase, considering that it happened after I broke up with the first person I actually dated.
  • I keep feeling like I'm broken.
  • I feel unsatisfied with my life, even though I have everything I need, except for my first job. (Everyone keeps sending me mixed messages on the job part! It's so annoying!)
  • I don't mind romance between two fictional characters, in most cases.
  • I strongly dislike cuddles, especially after I broke up my first relationship.
  • I don't know if I understood romance, or if I just pretended to. I never really gave it that much thought.

...that's all I can come up with right now.

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  • 4 years later...

I have no idea how to create a list on this website

I feel lonely

I like to kiss (I think)

I can read romance, and happen to ship people

I like to read and write romance and sex

I love to flirt

I'm very interested in gossip and how people deal with all that stuff

I love to listen to love song

I can understand sexual jokes/implicit better than some allo people

 

 

Thanks for this thread ! It's really cool. Even if I'm 2 years late.

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  • I'm in a romantic relationship, we've been together for nearly 5 years
  • I listen to love songs
  • I read shipping fics, even the "cheesy" stuff I enjoy
  • I don't like cuddling but I love kissing 
  • I'm aplatonic, don't care too much about friendships 
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1. I love romance

2. I sometimes have crushes? Or something like that

3. I want romance for myself. Not right now, but I guess in the future

4. I keep having doubts about my orientation, that this is a phase and one day I'll realize that I'm allo...or something along the lines of that

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  • i'm omniaspec and very much fine with being alone (for the most part; i can get quite lonely sometimes, usually when i'm around people)
  • i'm intensely apathetic towards almost anything other than physical affection and friendships
  • because of that i assumed that i would just get married like in tv shows where i'd have the writers give me someone to marry or something lmao
  • i've never faked crushes
  • i just didn't care enough to feel like there was anything particularly wrong with me, though that mostly came from a lot of trying to repress my desperation and generally miserable attitude. tried to convince myself that there was something wrong with everyone else (in more ways than just that) instead
  • i don't mind romance in media as long as it isn't pointless or too run-of-the-mill (i quite like bad or toxic relationships since i just don't see stuff like that much. maybe i'm just jaded who knows)
  • i have issues socially due to ADHD-related things as well as past bullying and bad experiences
  • there's always some doubt about everything; stuff that makes me question whether i'm quite as aroace as i say i am
  • i've known about asexuality since 11/12 (which at the time automatically came packaged with aromanticism), i'd just been questioning for 4/5 years since then
  • i'm quite tired so this might not all be on-topic
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• I'm neurodivergent.
• I was dating in the past.
• I don't care about my sexual attraction.
• My favorite fandom activity is shipping and I like writing romances or drawing my ships.
• I'm into self shipping (I'm shipping me with fictional characters), lol.

That's all for now. Maybe I'll add something more in the future.
 

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- i ship people WAY too hard for my own good on TV shows i like

- i'm actually into romance only when it's not corny

- im also neurodivergent (which idk is bad or good IDFK)

- romance replusion never occurs to me. i'm either apathetic or i don't give a fuck as long as im not involved

- i make sex jokes and romance jokes a lot (they're funny sometimes)

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I swear my brain tends to always stare at faces, if there is a face within the center of what i can see, i will unknowingly stare at it, which makes me feel like im being "creepy" and aros without the ace part are sometimes called creepy already because "oh you only experience sexual attraction but you cant love? creep" mentality is absurdly widespread and I dont want to strengthen it and how the [beep] did I make this one sentence-

Edited by whatistheromance
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These are just the ones I can think of right now

  • (I think) I've had crushes 
  • I love the concept and closeness of relationships, but in reality it makes me really uncomfortable, which is sad 
  • I'm not repulsed by the idea of romance, or sex as long as it's not happening to me

I think that's it but who knows🤷‍♀️

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