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Everything posted by November

  1. Unfortunately I can't really help you. I don't think we have our own online community. There are some Germans in the group "Aromantic talk" on facebook, so you could ask there as well. In Bonn there is a monthly meetup for ace and aro people. (It's the only meetup I know about but I didn't search for anything outside of NRW.)
  2. Why don't you like "affectionate"? 🤔 (English is not my native language, so maybe I miss some connotations that don't fit.)
  3. Dating can be an important part of socializing for some alloromantic people. And sometimes people recommend that one should be around more people in order to meet "the right one". But of course that doesn't mean that dating is the only reason to socialize. Being aro affects my social skills in the same way as it does when I'm with people who share any other interest that I don't have. It can be annoying when people talk about love and just assume that everyone experiences it in the same way - and this can make me uncomfortable and more quiet than I usually am.
  4. Good point! I guess we need a survey where random people are asked instead of only users of one forum .... ... and I just noticed that in this survey (https://asexualcensus.files.wordpress.com/2017/10/2015_ace_census_summary_report.pdf on page 29) the participants were asked to which gender they were romantically attracted: 15.1% of the women, 17.4% of the men and 21.9% of the non-binary people replied that they were attracted to none ...
  5. We also have a ring (simple white ring worn on the left middle finger):
  6. Hmm... I rather thought of Vimes and Sybil as a QPP. Somehow I thought that Carrot and Angua were both demi, but now that you mentioned it, I can see them in a QPP, too. And yes, Granny is definitely aro! Maybe Nanny Ogg is aro and heterosexual 🤔
  7. Please tell us! I'm really curious and I have some thoughts too, but I guess I'll have to reread the books again because I'm not sure ... Anyway, I really want Susan to be aro and have a squish on Buddy (when I read Soul Music, I was really annoyed that she seemed to have a crush on him, but I didn't know that squishes exist - so maybe it fits?!)
  8. According to the ace community census (https://asexualcensus.wordpress.com/) there are about 60% women and 13% men ...
  9. If he's flirting or telling you that he has a crush on you etc, tell him that you're not interested in him. If it's a rumour or you're just guessing, ignore him and try to avoid him. Anyway, you don't have to tell him that you're aro or that you don't want a relationship. (Because this can sound like an excuse and no one has to excuse for not being in love with another person.)
  10. @CraSyFantaZi That's great When I came out to my best friend, it was really weird at first, but after some weeks I realized that it made our friendship even better because now we're both comfortable to talk about relationship-related stuff (we kind of avoided this topic before). Nevertheless I think, it's better if a coming out doesn't change a friendship
  11. I answered "born aromantic" because ... that's what it feels like 🤷‍♀️ (though I think that my attitude towards sex and romance changed from favorable to slightly repulsed since I started identifying as aro ace) I also don't like it when people assume that another person's sexuality or romanticism changed (especially if they blame it on a previous relationship).
  12. My situation is very similar. Since I started identifying as aro ace about half a year ago, only one person cared me about my love life (ok, he just kept assuming that I'd want to have a boyfriend and was worried that we couldn't be friends anymore if I had a boyfriend - so I came out to him because I was really annoyed). It's so much easier when nobody cares
  13. I thought it was simply an example of ancient misogyny ... at least to me that made sense without recurring to romantic love but I'm sometimes really ignorant towards romantic love. And after reading the Wikipedia article I really don't know what to think about it. It feels like amatonormativity to see them in a homoromantic relationship - and it feels like homophobia not to interpret it this way
  14. I really wish this was acknowledged in translations more often - even if it seems odd at first when translators use phrases like "feeling-an-erotic-passion-for" or "Conceiving-a-passion" instead of "falling in love" like here: https://classical-inquiries.chs.harvard.edu/a-placeholder-for-the-love-story-of-phaedra-and-hippolytus-whats-love-got-to-do-with-it/ And here's Plutarch's description of love (eros) - seems romantic to me, but what do you all think about it? https://sententiaeantiquae.com/2017/11/15/avoiding-politics-and-religion-at-dinner-try-love-instead/
  15. I agree with you about Pyramus and Thisbe and Catullus. Don't know enough about the other texts, but that line from Samuel could (more likely?!) be about non-romantic companionship 🤔 Not every kind of affection and not everything that is translated as "love" has to be romantic love. And if we're collecting evidence of romantic love in antiquity, I want to add Sappho: https://www.poetryintranslation.com/PITBR/Greek/Sappho.php#anchor_Toc76357041 https://www.poetryintranslation.com/PITBR/Greek/Sappho.php#anchor_Toc76357049
  16. I didn't know that aro rings exist until I saw your post Now I want to have an aro ring, too (I hope I can find one at a store nearby because I don't really like buying things online)
  17. I found an example for it in this article: https://electricliterature.com/did-translators-of-sophocles-silence-ismene-because-of-her-sexual-history-7a918b217040 The article is mostly about how by attributing one line in the tragedy "Antigone" by Sophokles to the protagonist instead of her sister, the sister's sexual history is silenced - with the side-effect of Antigone expressing her "pure romantic love" (really?!) towards her future husband:
  18. Surrounded by boys who are ugly or idiots or both Actually, until recently I thought that sexuality and romanticism didn't matter unless you are currently in love with someone
  19. 1. Yes. I believe that romantic orientations affect people's lives more than sexual orientations do (at least in public). 2. Yes, please. Realizing that queerplatonic and aesthetic attractions exist, explained a lot to me. 3. As an aro ace I feel uncomfortable when alloromantic aces idealize romantic love too much or complain that people assume they're also aromantic. It feels like aro ace people confirm a stereotype that is harmful to alloromantic aces (and I feel sorry about that). 4. I don't have much experience with such communities, so I don't have an opinion about it yet.
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