MargauxTheArtist5

Following this post, since I'm demiromantic as well. I don't have any songs to contribute, though.

I can't tell if my previous crushes were actually crushes or if it was just me trying to conform to what everyone expected of me. By "everyone," I mean society and my friends/family. I've kissed two people in my life. The first person had told me about their previous relationships, which made me too uncomfortable. The second person was way too sensual in our purely romantic relationship, and that made me too uncomfortable, too. I keep thinking of marriage as entirely romantic, even though I know it doesn't necessarily have to be romantic. I'm an older autistic teenager. I'm romance-repulsed, but I expect this to be a phase, considering that it happened after I broke up with the first person I actually dated. I keep feeling like I'm broken. I feel unsatisfied with my life, even though I have everything I need, except for my first job. (Everyone keeps sending me mixed messages on the job part! It's so annoying!) I don't mind romance between two fictional characters, in most cases. I strongly dislike cuddles, especially after I broke up my first relationship. I don't know if I understood romance, or if I just pretended to. I never really gave it that much thought. ...that's all I can come up with right now.

In the aftermath of my first and only romantic relationship, I can't even think about cuddling or kissing someone on the lips without thinking about the way my ex-boyfriend treated me. He did not hurt me, but he didn't seem to understand that because I am autistic, I can't stand French kisses or kisses on the neck. Even when we broke up the first time (we were still friends at that point), he still wanted to cuddle with me. At the time, I just went along with it, because I didn't want him to be upset. Looking back to when we first met, I think he took advantage of my naivety, because I told him that I had never been in a relationship before then. Every time we kissed, he was a bit too passionate about kissing me, so it was always a mini sensory overload for me. Of course, I didn't think to tell him that I didn't like it, but I am glad that I ended the relationship when I did. I even told him that we couldn't be friends because I felt that uncomfortable around him. But I still like hugs from my friends and family. Other than that, I don't like being touched. EDIT: I've recently discovered that I love platonic cuddles, but it depends on who I am with.

My favorite aro song is Hug All ur Friends by Cavetown. Plus, Cavetown has said that he is aro in a recent q&a video on his YouTube channel!