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How are You a 'Bad' Aromantic Spectrum Person?


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5 hours ago, Goofylittlecoffeeadict said:

(I think) I've had crushes 

Might be squishes or smushes (look it up)


5 hours ago, Goofylittlecoffeeadict said:

 I love the concept and closeness of relationships, but in reality it makes me really uncomfortable, which is sad

That's called sensual attraction, and it's different from romantic and sexual.


5 hours ago, Goofylittlecoffeeadict said:

I'm not repulsed by the idea of romance, or sex as long as it's not happening to me

Yeah thats normal

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1 hour ago, whatistheromance said:

That's called sensual attraction, and it's different from romantic and sexual.

Depends on what kind of closeness. Physical, non-sexual closeness? That is, if you're attracted to a specific person and want to have non-sexual touch with them, that is sensual attraction. But alterous attraction is emotional closeness without romantic attraction being involved, but it goes beyond platonic attraction.

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- I don't have squishes but sometimes aesthetical attraction

- I don't mind romance in movies, books, series, music,...

- I am a Backstreet Boys' fan for 29 years they only sing love songs and I think that one of them AJ would be the one for me if I wasn't aromantic

- I don't mind spending time with couples (as long as they don't spend their time kissing, flirting, ... I just think this is so irrespectful to do that when you are with one other person who has nobody else to talk to when you do that and why do you want to see your friend if you spend your time flirting and kissing what's the point)

- I am very happy to be aromantic, I just love being alone and that the only moment I feel well

- I watch chinese dramas which are mostly about love

- Sometimes I wonder what's wrong with me because I am 40 yo and never been asked for a date, nobody has never been interested in me

 Well that's all I have in mind right now and not even sure this fit the topic sorry if it doesn't

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  • 7 months later...

Ooh, I want to do this.

-I’m very visibly autistic, as well as having depression and anxiety, so I somewhat validate the “mentally ill aro” stereotype

-I do not consider myself close to my friends. To me friends are just people who you do things with. I am better “friends” with things and places and concepts than people, and I’m questioning apl-spec

-I definitely struggle to express emotions and understand emotions in context.

-I have a lot of obscure arospec microlabels that somewhat make me a “special snowflake”

-I do think I want to live with someone, if only to have someone to help me with executive functioning. It might look like a normal relationship to outsiders, I don’t know.

-I sometimes fantasize about my wedding

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Bad aro:

-I kinda like well written queer romance but often just the cartoon kind that doesn’t get excessive.

-I’m not revolted by romance but over the top kissing and long boring dates just bore me or make me uncomfortable.

-I occasionally sorta just think about the possibility of marrying but it’s just the glamour of partying with friends or the aesthetic. 
-I was never super against the idea of dating, generally I’d just do platonically fun things no matter the persons gender.

-I experience loads of aesthetic attraction or have a physical response to seeing pretty people but it’s almost always minor.

-I experience occasional alterous attraction and that was very recently.

-I like the idea of living with people in maybe a qpr, so marriage would be a very mild possibility but not the same kind, only tax reasons.


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  • 2 weeks later...
  • 4 months later...
  • 2 weeks later...
  • i had a sort of sheltered upbringing where i've sometimes asked myself if i'm really aro or if i'm just a really late bloomer (though at this point in my life i'm pretty confident i'm the former)
  • i'm aloof and awkward and not very good at making close friends. like i want to form closer bonds with people but it doesn't take much socializing for me to feel drained and wanna retreat to my personal space. so in that respect i'm sort of that "loner" aro stereotype lol.
  • that said, paradoxically a part of me still wants love and intimacy of some sort? like i think romance would be too suffocating for me yet i still sorta want that "life partner" thing except we just vibe like best friends and respect each others' personal space y'know?
  • i'm sort of attracted to peoples' mouths and i almost wouldn't mind kissing at least once
  • i'm fine with a little romance in media as long as it isn't about just romance (romcoms for one are a hard nope for me)
  • i've had ships here and there (though mostly just dumb crackships when i was younger lol)
  • i like lots of songs that happen to be about love (though in their case i don't care as long as it sounds good lol)

edit: one last point i can't believe i forgot: 

  • while i've never been in love irl, i've managed to fall in love with fictional characters more times than i care to admit.
Edited by frutiger aro
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- I have a hard time understanding the concept of queerplatonic and have decided it's not a helpful one for me.

- Multiple times I've had crushes. Many of them, even. The thing that makes it different from alloromantic people is they aren't very strong and/or can fade quickly. I also can "get over" them easier if it doesn't work out.

- My feelings on romance fluctuate. Most of the time I'm indifferent, but sometimes I'm favorable or repulsed.

- I don't mind romance in fiction as long as it's done well, as with anything else. In fact, I've always loved shipping and finding out I'm aromantic didn't change that.

- I may "technically" count as gray aromantic but I prefer to keep my labels simple and just say aromantic since it's an umbrella term.

- I still have desire for a romantic relationship and have several throughout my life.

- I'm not acespec at all, I'm aroallo and a lot of people seem to think just because I'm aromantic I'm also asexual.

Edited by dewy
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