ahsoka723

I very much desire and enjoy sex, I have a high sex drive and am quite kinky. I've had good sex with strangers or people I've hooked up with once or twice, but I've had amazing sex only with people I've had a strong emotional connection to. A part of it has to do with repeated encounters: I am more likely to have more sex with people I feel more connected to, and the more sex I have with them, the better it gets as we get to know each other's bodies more, and get to explore and try more things. Greater emotional connection also means I will be more relaxed, which frees up my mind and body to experience and share pleasure with my partner. I also have generalised anxiety disorder, and am quite introverted and easily worn out by socialisation, so I strongly prefer to spend time with people I already know and trust in all contexts, not just sexual. This is exacerbated by the fact that I have quite a few kinks and fetishes, and I often get very anxious as to whether the other person will also enjoy them, or if they will judge me harshly because of them. I also get scared about seriously harming my partner, or crossing limits/boundaries, the risk of which is reduced as we establish solid communication and trust. With hook ups and new people, you can only really do the generic stuff unless you've talked about what you want to do and limits etc. extensively beforehand, and while non-kinky/BDSM sex can be good when done right, it often just bores me.

I identify as fully aromantic and heterosexual (heteroflexible maybe?), but... I've been in a (kinda) romantic relationship (monogamous, physical and emotional intimacy) I've said "I love you" unironically to this person I was very much invested in said relationship, and even though it didn't end well, I enjoyed it while it was good and do not regret it I have grown to enjoy many romantic encoded things, e.g. Dating and flirting Cuddling/hugging, hand holding, and bed sharing (outside of sex) Emotional intimacy and support with sexual partners/fwbs

I've never really liked or appreciated romance in media, and especially in real life. From young, I remember feeling alienated from my peers because all they wanted to talk about were boys, and crushes or who liked who/who each other liked. I also couldn't understand why kids like myself, at the time, would be in any way attracted to each other. I kind of understood that romance and relationships were something that older people, i.e. teenagers and adults, did, but since I was a kid that didn't relate to me. Soon my teenage years rolled around, I went through puberty, I realised I was sexually attracted to men (but not the awkward pubescent boys in my peer group)... but that interest in romance or relationships never followed. For years I thought it was just because I hadn't met the right guy yet, or when myself and my peers were older/more mature I would find someone I liked. I also believed for the longest time that romantic attraction was just sexual + platonic attraction, but I've been told many times that that is not the case. Well I've now gone through my teenage years and am now entering young adulthood, and little has changed in terms of my views on romance; I still don't get it, and am still just as (if not more) averse to it.