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Cassiopeia

Early signs that you were aro

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It feels like I'm experiencing nothing at all, nothing at all, nothing at all, nothing at all, nothing at all, nothing at all, nothing at all, nothing at all, nothing at all, nothing at all, nothing at all, nothing at all, nothing at all, nothing at all, nothing at all, nothing at all, nothing at all, nothing at all, nothing at all, nothing at all, nothing at all, nothing at all, nothing at all, nothing at all, nothing at all, nothing at all, nothing at all, nothing at all, nothing at all, nothing at all, nothing at all, nothing at all, nothing at all, nothing at all!

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On 16/05/2016 at 8:00 PM, peridotty said:

however, i did have some super aro moments as a child, like when I got bored of movies that portrayed a lot of romantic relationships or featured love triangles, etc

 

I never really got "love triangles", since typically the most obvious solution for the characters involved is a vee anyway.
Must have worked this out at least a decade before I encountered the term "vee".

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4 minutes ago, Mark said:

Must have worked this out at least a decade before I encountered the term "vee".

(What's a vee?)

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Going onto fanfiction.net over the years, searching for friendship stories, and filtering out romance.

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I never really cared for romantic scenes on movies. I didn't dislike them, but didn't care, except when it started to compromise the quality of the movie (or what I considered "quality" at the time). I really liked and still like Disney movies, but I thought they were exaggerating about love, since it is a cartoon and fairy tales anyway.

The biggest difference was how I didn't care about relationships during school. I barely remember in high school my classmates commenting something about going to parties to "catch"/"stay with" other people ("pegar", in Portuguese, and I still don't know exactly what this means).

Mostly I didn't care, or notice. I didn't think about me having any kind of relationship. If it happened someday, cool.

Only two years ago, when I stumbled on the concept of asexuality and aromanticism, I stopped to think about it. And realized these labels fit me.

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15 hours ago, Chronos said:

 

The biggest difference was how I didn't care about relationships during school. I barely remember in high school my classmates commenting something about going to parties to "catch"/"stay with" other people ("pegar", in Portuguese, and I still don't know exactly what this means).

Mostly I didn't care, or notice. I didn't think about me having any kind of relationship. If it happened someday, cool.

Only two years ago, when I stumbled on the concept of asexuality and aromanticism, I stopped to think about it. And realized these labels fit me.

 

Same! I wondered what having a crush would feel like, sure, and I expected it to happen at some point, but I can't remember ever *wanting* a relationship. I realised that this was different when I was maybe 12, and I thought I was just a late bloomer. I thought that for a really long time, though I was also aware that I'd be a REALLY late bloomer so I felt weird about it kind of. Never BAD, just... Off. (and I thought I was gay for a while and had a crush on my friend. I didn't. Shoutout to that one sort-of-friend I had at the time for confusing me!). Then I realised I'm aromantic and asexual and well, not a 23 (now 25) year old late bloomer :P 

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Am I the only one who just really didn't like the word love when I was younger? The word just didn't sit right with me, and I don't think I actually ever said it until I was at least a teenager. Even then, I was hesitant about using it. Maybe it was due to  society associating the word to romance, or the fact that I don't feel like I have ever experienced it (except for maybe my pets). Am I alone in this thinking or are the others who felt the same way?

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2 hours ago, Zemaddog said:

Am I the only one who just really didn't like the word love when I was younger? The word just didn't sit right with me, and I don't think I actually ever said it until I was at least a teenager. Even then, I was hesitant about using it. Maybe it was due to  society associating the word to romance, or the fact that I don't feel like I have ever experienced it (except for maybe my pets). Am I alone in this thinking or are the others who felt the same way?

Although I'm fine with the word love, when I think about it I realise I'm not OK using it outside of my own family. I used to find most forms of physical contact outside of family uncomfortable too, but now I just find it a bit arkward.

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I had a couple of crushes in my childhood, but way less than my peers, so I just made up stuff about supposedly liking some boy to not be an outsider, when others talked about their crushes.

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5 hours ago, Zemaddog said:

Am I the only one who just really didn't like the word love when I was younger? The word just didn't sit right with me, and I don't think I actually ever said it until I was at least a teenager. Even then, I was hesitant about using it. Maybe it was due to  society associating the word to romance, or the fact that I don't feel like I have ever experienced it (except for maybe my pets). Am I alone in this thinking or are the others who felt the same way?

 

Come to think of it, I never really tell people 'love you' (I do with my pets though. Go figure). Though it's not because i don't like the word.

 

Also this.

 

When I was 12 I was a fan of a singer. Cue some random aunts/family members. "OH, do you have a little crush on him? :D" And I just remember being like "will they just shut up I like the music that's all >_>"

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10 hours ago, Zemaddog said:

Am I the only one who just really didn't like the word love when I was younger? The word just didn't sit right with me, and I don't think I actually ever said it until I was at least a teenager. Even then, I was hesitant about using it. Maybe it was due to  society associating the word to romance, or the fact that I don't feel like I have ever experienced it (except for maybe my pets). Am I alone in this thinking or are the others who felt the same way?

 

4 hours ago, Elluna Hellen said:

 

Come to think of it, I never really tell people 'love you' (I do with my pets though. Go figure). Though it's not because i don't like the word.

 

I third this. Although I don't care about other people using it, I never felt comfortable using it myself. Mostly because I never knew (and yet don't know) what exactly it means.

Specially because some people use it so unceremoniously that it loses some of it's depth.

I dunno, I'm only rambling.

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I assumed that dating was like when you had a best friend, but you wanted to put on fancy clothes and eat nice food and have sex with them which is still p much what I want in a relationship

 

And I thought having a crush on a guy was when you thought he was aesthetically attractive and wanted to be friends with him

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i remember i was over at this kid's house when i was six or so and he said that he wouldn't let me over anymore unless i kissed him. i was just like sure whatever and kissed him. then i felt terrible bc my parents had told me that kissing on lips is only for 'mommies and daddies'.

i never really understood the significance of kissing? i guess? 

except now, at sleepovers, during truth or dare (i always choose truth) they're like 'ooh ever kissed someone'

and i feel bad to say yes bc ill feel un-aro-like and i just go with 'duh, my mom'

and they're just like 'no silly, a guy'

and i just -_-

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On May 15, 2016 at 7:12 AM, Louis Hypo said:

I've always been aro, I always was waiting for those feelings and they never came, and at one point I stopped waiting for the future and identified as how I feel now and I'm never gonna stop!

 

Same. I never experienced it when I hit my teens, and the thought of dating someone still scares me. I knew I didn't like romance, but I didn't know there was a word for it until I got onto tumblr and followed some blogs that re-blogged posts about asexuality and aromanticism. 

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I think the biggest thing for me was that I never had crushes. Like, I look back now and it all makes sense but, back before I started identifying as aro I used to tell myself that I just hadn't met the right person. My mom used to ask me if I had crushes on any boys at my school and I would always say no 'cause they were "Not good looking or annoying" or whatever else I thought could justify to the both of us why I wasn't interested. One occasion I always think back to is laying on the floor in my mom's room and we were watching Drake and Josh. I guess my mom made some comment about me having a crush on one of the lead actors, Drake Bell, and after that I remember laying on the floor and trying to convince myself I liked him. I can even remember trying the "wistful lovestruck sigh" you see in movies. I gave up trying cause it obviously didn't work.  idk it's just funny to me that in hindsight it just suddenly all makes sense xD 

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21 hours ago, Aurore214 said:

One occasion I always think back to is laying on the floor in my mom's room and we were watching Drake and Josh. I guess my mom made some comment about me having a crush on one of the lead actors, Drake Bell, and after that I remember laying on the floor and trying to convince myself I liked him. I can even remember trying the "wistful lovestruck sigh" you see in movies. I gave up trying cause it obviously didn't work.

http://vocaroo.com/i/s0cnqsLRzPwX

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On 2016. 06. 03. at 5:46 AM, Zemaddog said:

Am I the only one who just really didn't like the word love when I was younger? The word just didn't sit right with me, and I don't think I actually ever said it until I was at least a teenager. Even then, I was hesitant about using it. Maybe it was due to  society associating the word to romance, or the fact that I don't feel like I have ever experienced it (except for maybe my pets). Am I alone in this thinking or are the others who felt the same way?

Yeah I had/have the same... I lt just did not describe how I felt, so it felt like a lie.

That is super awkward in a relationship. Anyway, I usually say something similar like "you are very important to me" or "I'd trust you with everything" or "thank you for being who you are, you mean a lot to me". :arolove:

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My teenage knowledge of love was deepened a lot by a Social Studies textbook. It was describing love as a pleasurably ecstatic but uncontrollable force, and the latter property repulsed me a lot. I like to be in control of myself.

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I never had crushes, I never thought about getting married later. I never wanted to play Barbie and those kind of games I found supremely boring. 

I had a bit of an obsession with imaginary friends. I fantasized about ideal friendships that would last forever, and imagined complex stories and whole exotic cultures based on them, the same way as preteen girls fantasize about an imaginary perfect crush. It was the last thing I was thinking about in bed while sleep was slowly making my thoughts fade, and in a world I didn't understand well, it was one of the few things that would make me happy.

I used these stories to create some of my novels, and I've recently thought about writing the 3rd version of a novel based on the main story. I would like to finish a satisfying version one day, a secret garden I can eventually publish and be proud of.

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So, you are a writer @Rising Sun?

What do you like to write about?

 

You people, at what age more or less you just said "f*** it" and stopped waiting for "the right one"?

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Not really, unless if novel and comic strip drafts, caricatures and poems sent to my loved ones count.

Mainly science fiction, humor and parody.

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50 minutes ago, Chronos said:

You people, at what age more or less you just said "f*** it" and stopped waiting for "the right one"?

Pretty much only recently, at 17 for me, but I spent about a year after hearing about aromanticism thinking "nah I'll meet the right one, I'm not aro"

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17 minutes ago, Simowl said:

I spent about a year after hearing about aromanticism thinking "nah I'll meet the right one, I'm not aro"

 

Tried ace dating sites but got disappointed, eh? :P

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1 hour ago, Chronos said:

You people, at what age more or less you just said "f*** it" and stopped waiting for "the right one"?

I found AVEN at 14-ish and the whole 'The One' idea came crashing down xD

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