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lindi

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About lindi

  • Rank
    Newbie

Personal Information

  • Orientation
    fray/lith -romantic (aro in practice)
  • Gender
    female
  • Pronouns
    she
  • Location
    Finland

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  1. I probably shouldn't even think about it at this age, but I mostly fear the practical struggles of growing old alone
  2. I have to agree with this one. Of course, it doesn't exactly help in defining a crush to just abstractly describe feelings, but to me they are just that - feelings, that don't directly lead to actions or even a desire for actions.
  3. I haven't actually had celebrity crushes myself, but what I was thinking of, was how they fit with the definition of romantic attraction being "a desire to have a romantic relationship". I mean, there might be some deluded stalk-happy individual, who literally wishes for a relationship with the celebrity, but I bet most celebrity crushes are not like that. The reason why I bring this up is, that my experience of romantic(?) attraction is close to having a "celebrity crush" on someone I actually know (altho usually not that well/closely). I feel the butterflies and kind of "worship them in my mind", but that doesn't translate into a desire for a relationship. In some cases I want to get to know them a little better (but not even as close friends), in some cases not at all - I just take the fleeting crush-like feelings as they come. So, am I just a rare exception (maybe in the same way as autochorisexuals are an exception to both sexuals and asexuals), or does the definition of romantic attraction leave much to be desired?
  4. I had a couple of crushes in my childhood, but way less than my peers, so I just made up stuff about supposedly liking some boy to not be an outsider, when others talked about their crushes.
  5. Can't reply, because I'm kind of both, and it COMPLETELY depends on season as well. In the summertime (or any time except winter really) I like to spend time outdoors, but at the end of the day I don't spend ALL that much time there anyway. Because how would I spend that time? As I hate social events. I can't really come up with good ways to spend time outdoors, except for long walks or feeding the wild birds.
  6. I could never clearly tell the difference, so lately I've been calling them all crushes, because whatever - it's not like I want to act on them anyway. Of course, since I don't want romance or a partner, it might make more sense to call them all squishes... but at least "crush" is a word that the mainstream has some clue about, even if it would be slightly misleading. Oh, and this might sound paradoxical, but to me a "squish" implies more strongly, that you actually want to get close to the person. As a friend, but still. What comes to a "crush", people have celebrity crushes and such all the time, without wanting to get close to the person.
  7. -Well, I think I have actual crushes, just no desire whatsoever to act on them, so that makes me a bad, bad "aro" indeed -I have mental health issues, which someone could argue "explains it all". But they're not the kind that would go away any day soon (well, ever). -I have no desire for a QPR or intense friendships
  8. I don't think I have an issue with self-esteem, but I don't deny having various other issues (like commitment phobia and a general distrust). Also, it could be a perfectly realistic estimate, that people will stop liking me if they truly get to know me I mean, sometimes people obviously have a false idea of what I'm like, and like me for that. Frustratingly, even if I tell them that I'm not really like that, they hardly take it seriously.
  9. I have seen a lot of talk about people being repulsed by different kinds of physical intimacy, but I can't be the only one who is more or less repulsed by emotional intimacy. People attempting to gain emotional intimacy with me make me feel suffocated and trapped... and also raise suspicions in me, that they have ulterior motives. I mean, maybe if a relationship of complete trust and mutual respect has formed over the years, I could be okay with that to some degree, but the way how people act so emotionally affectionate towards each other when barely knowing each other, is a definite "turn-off" to me both platonically and romantically.
  10. It doesn't make me uncomfortable, more like frustrated at the "waste of time" (from my perspective... at least if I'm in the company of those people!) - like geez, get it over with already?
  11. A lot of people end up in relationships that are abusive in a way or another, because they just can't help their overwhelming attractions...
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