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The “happy to be aromantic” thread


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Hey

i just want to open a thread, where we can share all the euphoria or the good moments aromanticism gives us. Whether it are specific moments or just general feelings.

just forget about the bad ones for a moment and start a thread full of luck and happiness :)

 

 

for example; the more I think about amatonormativity the more I consider it as a harmful concept; not only for aros but for allos too!! So, sometimes I am just happy that I can live beside those amatonormative rules and that my pure existence proves amatonormativity wrong. It just gives me euphoria bc I feel as if aromanticism helps me to live more free and just the way want to.

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I love the freedom of my life being entirely my own. I love knowing that when I feel like changing jobs or moving countries I don't have to take into consideration anyone else's life plans. Every now and then it hits me all over again that there's a whole world out there, and if I want to do or try something I can just go do it, because I answer to nobody but myself. I love that feeling. 

 

(Pandemic aside of course...) 

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The moment i realized that i was fine on my own and didnt need anyone else to be happy or complete as a person felt like a weight was lifted off my chest. Felt like i could finally start living for me and not just to fullfill the expectations of other poeple.

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This thread makes me so happy! Thanks for starting this conversation, @Acecream.  :)

 

To mirror what others have said, finding the aro label and the community comes with a profound sense of freedom to live life according to your own values. I'm thankful that learning about my aromanticism has encouraged me to be way more critical of society's expectations and scripts for how life is supposed to work and how people are supposed to find happiness. Having that new approach to figuring out what feels authentic to me is invaluable, and I think it would've taken me a lot longer to discover that had I not been aromantic or found the aro community. 

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One thing I like about identifying as aromantic outwardly to most people is being able to reject people without feeling guilty at all. 

I know I don't owe men or women anything, but whenever someone puts themselves out there to ask me something, it's really nice to be able to say "oh, I'm aromantic," and that way they in no way feel like it's their fault. 

Another perk is that friends I've 'come out' to don't catch feelings for me, or if they do, they can try to get over it rather than thinking there's a chance, you know?

Maybe that's a callous way of thinking about it, but it's nice to have that freedom. 

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Aromanticism has helped me to feel empowered in making life how I want it to be. I feel that there are so many more possibilities and that I'm not obligated to follow a certain path. I can customize and develop relationships according to what I want (with consent of the other person involved, of course) without having to wedge myself or my relationships into a specific box. It's also helped me learn a lot about how varied the human experience can be and drives me to fight even harder for a society in which people can have the freedom to express this vast diversity of humanity.

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I'm so happy to not have to deal with dating, finding "the one", pregnancy and the "biological clock", being married to one person my whole life and all that stressful stuff! I'm happy to have peace on my own and like eatingcroutons said: freedom! I can be spontaneous in my life and flexible. My aromanticism allows me to not follow a script that's given to us but stray waaay away from that and walk my own ways of happiness. When I fully realized this, a weight fell off my shoulders! :aropride:

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I am happy to be aro for various reasons. One of them being having my own freedom to just live my life as myself. To be able to take vacations and spend them for me only, not having to think an chain myself to the expectations of anyone. Not be afraid to live, actually enjoy my time in this world and not think that I need someone to "complete" me to be happy.

I choose who I want as my family, and together we just spent time being genuine with each other. Being aro, and my close friends knowing it, liberates me, I can say "I love you" to my friends and them knowing I mean it in a platonic way. I take pleasure in knowing that I can be myself with my friends, and know we are on the same page, that there is not a hidden message for our actions. Finally, I just love to be able to sleep with anyone in the same couch or bed, and knowing that there is no need to do anything else besides sleeping.

Thanks @Acecream did not that I needed this thread until I saw it

 

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I'm happy to be on the aromantic-spectrum; I started figuring it out at a pretty perfect time in my life and it's really helped me not feel super guilty for not being able to reciprocate romantic feelings in the way people want me too. It's also seemed to open up how I feel about intimate relationships (like in a platonic/queerplatonic way mainly) in general

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Similar to what others have said, finding out I was aromantic lifted so much dread and pressure off my shoulders and I was happy. I was happy after breaking up with my ex and being friends again, but knowing why the relationship didn't work made it so much better, so freeing. 

No more worrying about how get into a relationship, how to act to once I when in a relationship, and no existential dread for the future about how to be someone who isn't me 24/7 (I am romance adverse when it comes to romance directed at me, in case it wasn't obvious). Amatonormativity was a bitch and I'm glad to be done with it. Ah, the euphoria from that thought alone.

Oh, and the figuring out that I am aromantic really helped with gaining some self confidence and having more sex positive attitude for myself. I was already was sex positive for humanity in general, but it gave me the swift kick in ass to finally be comfortable with myself being a sexual being. So, yeah, being aromantic is amazing, at least for me.

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Happy to have all my time as "me-time" (even when working 😇) and to be relieved of the weight of making someone else happy.

Egotist? Narcissist? Nope - aro/self-centered and master of my domain 🔆

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What a great thread 😄

I love how being aro puts me so far out of the standard life paths that I have a "reason" to carve out my own. It would've happened anyway but with a lot more struggle, self-doubt and time. I love my freedom!

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I live with a friend at the moment and it's been great! And if he ever gets a jealous girlfriend (or just a regular girlfriend who wants to live with him) I can move out and choose some other communal living situation. I don't have to consider the convenience of anyone else.

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  • 3 weeks later...

I am so happy to be free to do whatever I want whenever I want. If any great opportunity comes on my way I don't have to take somebody else's opinion and I can just go for it without any feeling of culpability. I can live 100% for myself, some people may see it as egoism but I don't care. Having the life I want to have and being able to do everything I can to have it is what makes me happy and maybe I wouldn't have the freedom to do it if I had to take somebody else's opinion in consideration. So being aromantic is just awesome 😎

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To me, there's absolutely nothing negative about aromanticism! When others shove amatonormativity, allonormativity, and heteronormativity at me, it's actually entertaining, since I know that I'm protected from them.

No one has ever asked me out, but if it were to happen, I wouldn't hesitate to say "no!" without feeling guilty. Besides, I'd be serving such a person in a way, because if they were in a romantic relationship with me, they'd be held back from finding a better romantic candidate for them.

Something else I find great about being aromantic is that, as said by others, I can focus 100% on myself and not have to put energy and attention into someone else's priorities. To me, that's just not authentic living.

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  • 1 month later...

that I can chose whether I want to socialize or not and can go home when I feel it without having to take anyone into consideration
that I can chose to work all night or going to sleep in the early evening without anyone who has other plans

that I know the concept of amatonormativity and allonormativity bc I love it to have knowledge about concepts I can complain about hahaha

(but it's kind of sad that alloallos don't wanna see that it may harm themselves too)

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  • 2 weeks later...

I guess I have a squish (not 100% sure but about 95%) and it's just amazing how much happiness I feel bc I know that the person is in an amazing romantic relationship

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A few friends of mine have told me about a little voice in their head, where when they talk to friends they find themselves wondering if their partner thinks they are going to cheat. 

Not having to deal with that is good. I can chat with whoever and don't need to defend it.

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