Erederyn

Hello there! Welcome to the forums, I hope you enjoy lurking around here 😁 Also, I like your signature quote "Bonds of people is the true power."

My family is quite traditional, so having kids is considered a must. They also think it's just sad that I don't want kids- sad for me and for them. My parents put quite some pressure on me since I was a teenager, getting really upset when I would say that I don't want kids and that I don't know what I'm talking about ("you'll change your mind as you get older"). We'd have some arguments about it, but I stood my ground and now they begrudgingly "accept" it .. for now at least. I feel this.

I have some mixed feelings about clubbing. I love going to dance and letting loose with friends and the music (although I go to Latin/hip hop clubs). It can be fun to dance with random people (usually some dudes who approach me) sometimes as well. But I dislike it that people often equate dancing together with me being interested in them and then they get mad when I want to go back to my friends/turn them down. So yeah, that could indeed have to do with my aromanticism

I do enjoy cuddling. But like you, the intention behind it is important- if it's romantic, then I'm like nope! So usually I cuddle with people I know well and feel comfortable with. I need to be able to trust them, essentially, in order to enjoy it fully. Also totally agree with you here!

Interesting article! I have experienced this a bit with people I don't know as well or am not as comfortable with but this isn't the case with people I know well. I enjoy doing some things on my own but I often find them more fun and memorable when I do them with friends. I'm pretty lucky, though, with having had friends throughout my life who are chill and don't have high expectations as we often find that what we're doing is not as important as the fact that we're getting to spend time together. I actually sometimes rush through things and don't as fully take it in when I'm alone. So worrying about what others are thinking is not something I've encountered much. I guess it helps that most of my friends have pretty similar tastes as I do and I tend to know my friend's preferances really well. But I do think in general doing things alone should be more acceptable and encouraged. There's still a slight stigma to it. Especially going out for dinner alone (I mean, I've often encountered needing a minimum of 2 people for reservations 😒), which sucks. Sometimes I want to eat something yummy without having to talk in between bites hahah.

I had a friend in college try to set me up with a guy. I was supposed to meet up with her for lunch but instead, there was some random dude there. I was pissed off to say the least. I was too awkward back then to be assertive, so I went through with it and even gave him my number when he asked. Afterwards I had to come up with excuses as to why I didn't want to see him again and ended up ignoring his texts/calls. Very uncomfortable experience. I wouldn't let such a thing fly now.

This is lovely, thanks for sharing your song with us! Maybe you can try SoundCloud or Youtube for the audio?

Wow yeah, I agree with the others on respecting them if they were deep in conversation but for sure, in an everyday situation, this is just wild to me. Yes this and it plays into this idea of possessiveness as normal in romantic relationships.

I don't understand the typical monogamous, exclusive, romantic relationship that is prevalent in our society and is often the first thing that people think of when you say "relationship". It seems so suffocating, especially as I see so many people around me who get so caught up in jealousy, controlling each other, and making everything revolve around each other. Of course, not all monogamous romantic relationships have to be that way but people often end up prescribing to these behaviors because they're considered the norm. Whenever I see things like "if your boyfriend/girlfriend isn't jealous when you talk to someone attractive, do they even love you?", I just have to wonder, are people okay??? hahaha Although I wouldn't want a partnership and especially not a romantic relationship, I do find other kinds of committed relationships nice. For example, having platonic relationships with people you can depend on and share your life with in intimate ways that you might not get with acquaintances or casual friendships. Marriage I only get for the legal/financial benefits, but I also question why those benefits should only be afforded to married couples anyway.

Yes, I feel the same way. Also it can be so subjective. When I ask alloros to describe I'm often like, but that's friends??? Or not strictly romantic??? Or they can't give a concrete answer. At the end of the day, it doesn't change the fact that I'm aromantic. It's something that people feel that I dont and that's fine.

Most definitely. I find it rather dismissive of friendships, like they're not a big deal... or that they're a relationship not worth pursuing and valuing in itself

Awesome, I hope it goes well! 💪

Oh no, that is tragic indeed. I hope you were able to go back and enjoy the buffet another time! I've had a few moments with a certain couple (two friends) who would get so into their flirting even when I was there. One time I invited them for dinner at my place. They were getting so lovey-dovey at some point and then they asked ME to leave to give them privacy. AT MY PLACE. Leave my own place for them, really? I was like, just go home then. It was really annoying.

I think this looks good!

Cool video, thanks for sharing! I enjoyed that they talked about romance in cultural/social contexts a bit and how they would feel about romance-coded things if romance were not so pervasive in the meaning of those things, which I feel is not talked about as much in more mainstream stuff.