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About NotHeartless

  • Rank
    Advanced Member
  • Birthday 02/23/1995

Personal Information

  • Name
    Call me whatever you like
  • Orientation
    Aro (lith), ace (gray)
  • Gender
    fluctuates between agender and transmasculine
  • Pronouns
    they/them or he/his would be cool
  • Location
  • Occupation

Recent Profile Visitors

2216 profile views
  1. Hey, your plans and goals sound really good. It's always good to look after yourself 😊. My first and biggest goal this year is to change my current major (pharmacy). It is okay, but I'm not really happy or satisfied with it. I'm playing with the thoughts of starting med school or becoming an elementary school teacher (I can imagine both very well). I want to start all over again, the desire is very strong to do so. Maybe also because of 2020. My second goal is to accept my orientation. I had been struggling with accepting it in the real world (online I'm all about "everyone is valid, be p
  2. Pretty much... Source: r/aromantic
  3. Hello Sam and welcome to the forums! Nice to have you here . I hope you'll have great conversations and people who understand you. But chances are very good . It's always cool to know someone who likes to write fiction with aro/ace main characters, I dig it. 😊
  4. Hello and welcome to the forums! As Holmbo said, the discord exists and it's nice and easy. But I understand your wish, sometimes I'd like to have a simple text chat here. You can also write personal messages, as you probably already know from AVEN. Hope you have a good time here with us .
  5. I love animation movies and many of my favorites happen to have little to no romance (by now I know why): The Rescuers & The Rescuers Down Under - it's mainly about caring for others in a platonic and altruistic way. There is a bit romance between the protagonists but honestly, you can ignore it easily. The Sword in the Stone - one of my all time favorite Disney movies. It's about the legend of King Arthur but kid-friendly, with the likeable wizard Merlin and his pet-owl who want to help young Arthur to learn important life lessons. It's a funny and rather light-hearted movie,
  6. Welcome to the forums, Toast! I'm sure you'll learn a lot here about aspec* identities but also, most importantly, about yourself. Make yourself at home .
  7. I discovered I'm not "purely aromantic" but rather grayromantic. It's because I sometimes feel some sort of attraction which isn't really platonic but also not really romantic. Might be alterous attraction then (besides sensual, aesthetic and platonic attraction which I experience [except for sensual attr.] rather frequently). I also still have a hard time to distinguish platonic and romantic attraction because to me it feels the same. It's really indistinct since I take my friendships just as serious as an alloromantic would probably take their romo relationship. The latter makes me uncomfo
  8. Hello Dusk and welcome to the forums! Yes, people here are still active, don't worry . To get to the issue: It's really good you are open with your gf and talk about your aromantic feelings. If you don't want a QPR, that's fine. Reading your post, my gut feeling says yeah, you could be aro. It could also be you and your gf don't match very well, but you said it all resulted in it because of jokes. So, there wasn't a romantic desire in the first place. There wasn't romantic attraction, it was maybe more like "yeah, we should try that, we could try it, because we are such good friends"
  9. This is interesting because at a younger age, I felt the same empowerment. I was even proud of not having a crush and sometimes belittled the ones who did or were interested in romance in general (I had my own way of being arrogant). A lot has changed since then and if you ask me, the "single narrative" is an illusion. Everything is connected with everything, we humans are no exception. It's just not always easy to see. In fact, I can't exist on my own. I *now* could live alone, of course, but there are people who brought me into this life, who gave me life. There are people who helped me th
  10. Oh, haven't seen this one. My results: 50% aroace 25% aromantic 8% most likely not aromantic 8% romantic, but asexual 8% demi Interesting. Been thinking I could be something along the lines of ace (though I don't use the label for myself). Funny how it's divided.
  11. My roommate and I sometimes disguise us as couple so it's more likely we'll get a rental contract for an apartment. It's kinda funny and sad simultaneously.

    1. Erederyn


      A friend and I planned on doing this as well. Apartments where I live will literally say "not allowed to share with roommates." Very frustrating. 

    2. NotHeartless


      Yeah, exactly! You get the struggle. Hope you guys have luck!

  12. Hello and welcome. It's really cool you found your way to us and I know what you mean with the identity. Same here with my roommate. And I also love dogs. Have some ice cream :).
  13. Welcome to arocalypse! I can only agree with Rony: Don't worry, English isn't my first language either, we're rather interantional here. And your English is absolutely fine IMO. It's very nice you discovered this aspect of yourself, so enjoy .
  14. Today, I realized (once again) I do love but not in the "typical romantic way" (or what society considers it as such).
    I do not shy away anymore from saying "I love you" because it's far from a "I love you and I need you, otherwise I'm sad"- way. It's more a "I love you, I care about you and I want you to be happy. Do what makes you happy". It feels like I can love people freely. It feels so open, endless. It's hard to explain. But I'm thankful I am able to experience it because, looking at the world, apparently not many people are able to love this way. I don't know, it feels like a gift.
    So while I'm on it: I love you guys. I love the aro community and our diversity. You rock!
    It's kind of ironic an aro person is writing all of this but these are my honest feelings. Maybe I'm actually extremly polyamorous without wanting to bind myself on one person but whatever this is, it feels right. I want to be able to tell my friends, and everyone else I care about, that I love them. Without anyone misunderstanding, that is all.

    1. NullVector


      Metta ('East') or Agape ('West') seems to fit what you are talking about here.

    2. NotHeartless
  15. Yup, me most of the time. I don't like romantic subplots, they are boring and unnecessary and moreover, often badly written. I feel like I could write a more subtle and nicer romo subplot than some romantics (though it would probably would turn out like some "super best friendship" or "bromance" because that's what I'm comfortable with). I tend to feel repulsion often with those subplots, too. I try not to but I can't help the feeling. Nah, don't feel guilty, I'm allergic to the romance part but often find myself enjoying the "sexy scenes" (like a some passionate kiss which indicates there i
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