Rainy Robin

@ArothrutheMoon Wow, that makes so much sense! You just described something that I've been struggling to articulate for a really long time now. Thanks for replying to this post :) Also, I hadn't heard of aromid as a term until just now but it actually fits me really well. Thanks for bringing that up too!

For animals, I think it should be frogs (maybe toads too, what do you all think?).

Thanks for starting this conversation here @Kadence! I came across a similar discussion of being both aro and polyamorous on AVEN awhile ago but it felt like a lot of people (mostly alloaces) were trying to speak for aros and it felt pretty invalidating to hear them argue that being aro and polyamorous are mutually exclusive. I've found the exact opposite to be true for me, in that I had a similar experience as you when discovering my aro identity. Realizing I'm also polyamorous was a natural progression that came from breaking down amatonormativity in myself as I got more comfortable identifying as aro.

It is interesting how there are comparatively way more conversations about sex-favorable aces than romance-favorable aros. I oftentimes wonder how much of that is because of the accessibility of the term aro? I would imagine that there are probably more romance-favorable aros out there who don't identify with the term simply because they haven't heard it before. Thanks for sharing! It's really helpful to hear how others experience these things. :) Oops, sorry about that! Questioning can be so frustrating sometimes.

Hello and welcome to Arocalypse!

Thanks for pointing this out! This is such a good point, thanks for sharing! I'm trying to think of specific books or movies I've seen where there isn't any romance mentioned in women's storylines. It's so depressing that there aren't more good models for how womanhood doesn't have to be tied up to romance like how it's portrayed in most media. Do you have any recommendations of characters or media that has better representation? Most of the ones I can think of involve secondary characters or include romance in the plot in some way (ex. Hunger Games with Katniss, Harry Potter's Luna Lovegood). Thanks for sharing here! That sounds like a really unique and interesting experience. I love hearing about the interplay between sexuality, attraction, gender, and romantic attraction. I think it's such a nuanced topic and it's cool to see how those different elements interact.

I've heard some people talk about how their aro identity is really important to understanding their gender. If you have a similar experience, I'd love to hear more about it! As an example, I've heard a lot of people who are aroace and agender say that they feel really disconnected from the entirety of gender because of their disconnect to romantic or sexual attraction. Since romance and sex are usually coded by society as very gendered, some aroaces feel alienated from gender and identify as agender instead. I think this is really interesting, and would love to hear how others approach it!

Hello and welcome to the community! ?

This makes a ton of sense, thanks for sharing!

I came across the term "non-SAM aro" the other day and wanted to hear what others think about the term. Do you use it for yourself? If so, are there specific reasons you like the term? I don't fully understand the significance of it and I'd like to learn more! For context, here is the non-SAM aro entry in the LGBT+ Wiki: https://lgbta.wikia.org/wiki/Non-SAM_Aro

I've thought a lot about the question about having kids as well. I don't want kids of my own, but I think the idea of volunteering in some sort of youth mentorship program could be really cool. That way I could "parent" kids without actually being a parent.

Exactly like a polyamorous QPR! From what I've heard about polyamory, it's more about intimacy (and not strictly sex and/or romance) with more than one person. I'm not active in the polyamorous community so I'm not sure if this is totally accurate to say, but I think it can be easy to make space for QPRs and other non-traditional relationships within the polyamorous framework.

I just graduated uni as well, so I'm interested to see what others have to say here! I don't really have many answers (I'm relatively new to identifying as aro) but I've been doing some research and I think I want some kind of alterous relationship or a QPR in the future. I'm not sure how formal the relationship might be, but I like the idea of maybe sharing a house with them and generally being there for each other. I would enjoy having maybe a couple of QPPs but I'm not sure how likely that is, given how few people seem to be looking for that kind of relationship.

Hello and welcome! I'm glad that you've found this community and are feeling comfortable in your identity. Also, ecology and conservation sounds like such a cool combination of things to study. :)

If you're aromantic and in a romantic relationship, I'd love to hear more about your experience! I don't think I've seen much discussion of this topic, but I'd love to hear how others have navigated these relationships.