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eatingcroutons

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About eatingcroutons

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  • Name
    crou
  • Orientation
    aro

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  1. Eh, I guess there's a parallel in the sense that people who do something different to what society sees as the standard life path may face stigma. But that's an incredibly broad category of people.
  2. Seconded. Most of my friends weren't in relationships when it came time for our equivalent of prom. So as a group of friends, we used our +1 tickets to invite a group of friends we knew from another school, and all had a great night hanging out together.
  3. I'm very much the same - love travelling, love moving countries to start a new adventure. In some ways it does make it difficult to maintain older friendships, but on the flip side, I know so many people in so many countries now that most times I travel there's someone in the area I can catch up with, or even stay with. Sometimes going to catch up with old friends is my excuse for travelling in the first place! Maintaining longer-distance friendships is something you have to put a bit of active effort into, but it doesn't have to be much - even the occasional text/message to be like "Rand
  4. "I enjoy your company but not in a romantic way" is pretty clear. But generally: be honest, be direct, don't leave any room for ambiguity about the fact that you are not interested in a romantic relationship with them. When I've been in this situation I've also told people that I understand if they want some distance/space from me for a while to deal with their feelings.
  5. I love the freedom of my life being entirely my own. I love knowing that when I feel like changing jobs or moving countries I don't have to take into consideration anyone else's life plans. Every now and then it hits me all over again that there's a whole world out there, and if I want to do or try something I can just go do it, because I answer to nobody but myself. I love that feeling. (Pandemic aside of course...)
  6. "I am aromantic and simply not able to reciprocate your feelings" is in no way a mixed message. The way she behaves around you is not necessarily a secret "message" to be decoded, and the actual message she gave you was explicitly clear about her identity and her intentions towards you. You need to respect the messages she gives you using actual words, not look for imagined "messages" that you think say something you want to hear instead. What you're doing - secretly doubting her understanding of herself, and secretly doubting whether she's been honest with you - is not good for any
  7. Speaking personally, I also have a very high libido and experience sexual attraction very frequently, but am entirely uninterested in any kind of romantic behaviour or relationship. So yeah, people like us definitely exist! I've had my fair share of sexual partners, both by hooking up with strangers and through casual sex with friends. It's not always the easiest thing to navigate, and sometimes people get more attached to me than I'm comfortable with. But as long as you communicate clearly (and avoid people who don't), it's definitely possible to pursue relationships that are sexual but
  8. Yeah, agreed. I know plenty of people who work hard and lead ambitious and successful lives while being in romantic relationships. I've always been a hardworking and busy person, but I don't think that has anything to do with being aro - I also put a lot of time and effort into maintaining my non-romantic relationships.
  9. I personally do, absolutely. I mean there are levels of it - it's not often that I see someone I find hot enough to be outright distracting. But I definitely notice when I find someone sexually attractive. And there have been times I've approached and hooked up with people purely because I find them physically attractive. I can't say when exactly it started but I was definitely finding specific people attractive by the time I was a teenager.
  10. Oh interesting, I'd be curious to see how others feel about the experience! Do you know if there's a transcript anywhere?
  11. When someone who's posted a question thread marks one of your replies as the answer to their question, your "solved count" goes up.
  12. Funnily enough, back when I was doing my PhD (and well before I'd ever heard of aromanticism as a concept) this used to be my go-to excuse for avoiding romantic relationships: I didn't want to have to take anyone else's academic/professional plans into account when deciding which country to move to next...!
  13. Is there a reason you can't be one of his close friends? Are there any ways in which being his close friend would be dissatisfying to you?
  14. I identify as aro but not ace. I started identifying as aro when I was in my mid 30s.
  15. Legend! I'm so happy for you!
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