Aromantic Moments

[owl]

When someone asks who you have a crush on and you tell them no one... "Oh come on, you can tell me!" "Ooh I can probably guess who it is!" Do people have to have a crush at every single point in their life?

I remember at a friend's party they went around saying their crush and I just made one up (the kid that everyone wanted to be friends with because he was cool) and then they asked for "second" crushes. Seriously?

[Tal Shi'ar]

Earlier in AVEN chat, someone was asking that if they could draw 1 object that would best describe their romantic love, what would it be. Between me and another person, we ended up deciding that a flaming toilet is a very appropriate object to represent romance.

[DannyFenton123]

3 hours ago, Simowl said:

When someone asks who you have a crush on and you tell them no one... "Oh come on, you can tell me!" "Ooh I can probably guess who it is!" Do people have to have a crush at every single point in their life?

I remember at a friend's party they went around saying their crush and I just made one up (the kid that everyone wanted to be friends with because he was cool) and then they asked for "second" crushes. Seriously?

 

Like, NOOO, I only can think of one!

[PerformativeSurprise]

7 hours ago, Simowl said:

I remember at a friend's party they went around saying their crush and I just made one up (the kid that everyone wanted to be friends with because he was cool) and then they asked for "second" crushes. Seriously?

 

Now that's just madness.  I would feel so cheated. Like, "I worked so hard to come up with this, and now you want more?" It's hard enough for me to wrap my head around having a crush at all--how in the world can you have multiple??

[RedNeko]

My sister and her boyfriend decided to go out for a walk and I just assumed I could come along. Everyone laughed at me (although in retrospect I also find my obliviousness really funny)

[DannyFenton123]

29 minutes ago, RedNeko said:

My sister and her boyfriend decided to go out for a walk and I just assumed I could come along. Everyone laughed at me (although in retrospect I also find my obliviousness really funny)

Wait, what else can you do on a walk? 

[Vega]

I remember when we had a question thing in class, and everyone asked me "if you had to date someone in this class, who would it be?" and then I just named my friend because I couldn't think of anyone. 

Holy crap high school would have been easier if I knew what aro and ace were. 

[Dusty]

Today I actually had a lecture about the book Twilight (yes, Twilight, it was a torture) and magical love (or something) that overcomes every obstacle in the way. I was already there like "yeah, I've seen this stuff enough in the books, movies and tv-shows so I kinda get what you mean but srsly don't understand" when the teacher laughed happily and said something like this: "But we all know how love can make us crazy at first." 

Really?

We do? 

Nice supposition there, lady. 

 

Then I remember in high school how one of my not-so-close friends asked me "how is it possible you're still single! Go out there more and you'll get some nice guy right away!" And there I was, feeling awkward as hell. Back then I didn't know yet my disinterest in anyone was because I was aromantic but still it got me so confused how to answer. Then there was this one French girl who learned I was born on Valentines day and of course asked right away if I had a boyfriend (yes, they all seem to think I'm only into guys... such a heteronormative world...) to spend that day with and I said no. Then she told me how sad that was to be all alone on my bday. Sad? Can't I be happy on my own bday alone or with my friends? I never thought it was sad! Just how is that sad? It's like you can't be happy without romantic love interest in your life. 

[Equinox]

23 hours ago, Vega said:

^ Reminded me of another thing movies love to do. 

"Villain, you will never win because you lack the most important thing of all! Love!" 

Or really any movie where the bad guys are just evil because they can't fall in love, and the hero wins because of the love of some random woman. 

 

 

Maybe we're all villains after all! Time to plot world domination...

 

"Who do you like?" was the bane of my existence in elementary school. I remember picking people at random, too, but soon I figured out that I had to add "but as a friend" or else weird things would happen. Of course, their next question was: "Who do you like like?"

[Zema]

I remember when i was about 15 (well before i had even heard of aromanticism) my cousin was telling me about his girlfriend. Now me being the socially awkward person that i am just flat out said,"I don't see the point in having a girlfriend"

[Nylese]

On 4/3/2016 at 10:14 AM, 46odnetnin said:

me: *is happy*

all of my family: "so who's the lucky lady?"

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

 

For me it's more like

 

me: *is distressed*
Mom: Did a boy do this to you?

[owl]

*smiling at phone*

Mum: Who are you texting?

me: just a friend...

mum: oh, just a friend? is it a boy?

[DannyFenton123]

3 hours ago, Simowl said:

*smiling at phone*

Mum: Who are you texting?

me: just a friend...

mum: oh, just a friend? is it a boy?

OooohI hate that 

[aihpen]

I once met with a boy (I thought I was making a friend... That didn't happen, he was not interested in friendship ) and the day after that I sat in the car with my mom and grandma and my mom mentioned him, but since we talked in German she used the word "Freund" which can mean both boyfriend or male friend. And my grandma obviously understood it wrong and thought I had a boyfriend.  That's one of many reasons why I hate having German as my first language 

[breaddd]

On 4/3/2016 at 1:37 PM, selina98 said:

I'm reading Romeo and Juliet in class right now so we're constantly talking about romantic love and the way we experience it and honestly it's like hell for me

SAME. I don't understand it. All I understand is why people wanna kill each other, like, if I was Tybalt I would want to kill Romeo too. He's daft.

18 hours ago, Dusty said:

Today I actually had a lecture about the book Twilight (yes, Twilight, it was a torture) and magical love (or something) that overcomes every obstacle in the way. I was already there like "yeah, I've seen this stuff enough in the books, movies and tv-shows so I kinda get what you mean but srsly don't understand" when the teacher laughed happily and said something like this: "But we all know how love can make us crazy at first." 

Really?

We do? 

Nice supposition there, lady. 

When I read those books I was obsessed with the vampire world in it and when the Jacob vs Edward thing came about I was so confused. Like, why are we fighting over who is better? They're both abusive af and can't take no for an answer and Bella...she's just ugh.

[owl]

I was watching a TV show (some teen drama - I know, shameful) and one of the characters hadn't been in a relationship for like, 2 weeks, and the mum's all "Are you okay? You haven't dated anyone since [ex]"

Is that... Just... Really? Is that in any way realistic? "Wow, someone's single for a couple weeks... Must be something wrong"

 

I guess happens at school too - someone will stop dating someone and everyone's asking who they've got a crush on and want to date next, like the world's gonna end if they're single for more than a week.

[Natkat]

On 4/4/2016 at 0:52 PM, Tal Shi'ar said:

Earlier in AVEN chat, someone was asking that if they could draw 1 object that would best describe their romantic love, what would it be. Between me and another person, we ended up deciding that a flaming toilet is a very appropriate object to represent romance.

 

 

what came to my mind... 

 

[owl]

Anyone else listen to a song and think "Aw this is really sweet, I'm gonna send this to my friend!" then look at lyrics more closely and "oh they mean love in a romantic way, nevermind"

Because this happens to me so much

[piplup]

On 4/5/2016 at 10:44 AM, Simowl said:

I was watching a TV show (some teen drama - I know, shameful) and one of the characters hadn't been in a relationship for like, 2 weeks, and the mum's all "Are you okay? You haven't dated anyone since [ex]"

Is that... Just... Really? Is that in any way realistic? "Wow, someone's single for a couple weeks... Must be something wrong"

 

I guess happens at school too - someone will stop dating someone and everyone's asking who they've got a crush on and want to date next, like the world's gonna end if they're single for more than a week.

idgi either like.. is it that easy to get over someone then start dating again?

[Whistle]

On 4/3/2016 at 8:49 AM, pengu said:

I'm very cynical when it comes to love, and said that romantic attraction only last for a maximum of three years- and if you haven't established other forms of bonds with that person your relationship is likely to fall apart. My alloromantic friends didn't agree with me of course and one of them said "No, not true, my boyfriend and I are still going strong even after two/three years! Just wait until you fall in love!"

 

Yeah the idea of romantic (and/or sexual) attraction as any kind of glue baffles me for sure. I like to call it 'fairy dust' (think in fantasy novels where it's always more worthwhile to do something without magic, even though you could easily use magic to do the thing). I joke that my husband's good enough that he didn't need the help of fairy dust to catch me- but on the other hand, oh boy would I be screwed if it weren't for him using it!

 

Also it hit me a few weeks ago that... the common theme in songs of "I saw you across the room and I felt this pull" or w/e? It's actually... a thing? That people feel? I mean probably exaggerated to some extent but like a real phenomenon, weird. 

[pengu]

46 minutes ago, Whistle said:

 

Yeah the idea of romantic (and/or sexual) attraction as any kind of glue baffles me for sure. I like to call it 'fairy dust' (think in fantasy novels where it's always more worthwhile to do something without magic, even though you could easily use magic to do the thing). I joke that my husband's good enough that he didn't need the help of fairy dust to catch me- but on the other hand, oh boy would I be screwed if it weren't for him using it!

 

Also it hit me a few weeks ago that... the common theme in songs of "I saw you across the room and I felt this pull" or w/e? It's actually... a thing? That people feel? I mean probably exaggerated to some extent but like a real phenomenon, weird. 

 

Yeah, it baffles me too. It's a big cultural thing that is very harmful I think. In books and tv shows where there's a girl that has to choose between two boys, she always choose the new guy she has an intense crush on, instead of the nice guy who has always been there for her and that she also loves? But for what I have read being "in love" is like being on drugs (for what is going on in your brain) so I get why you might not act all that clear-headed. 

 

 

 

 

[RedNeko]

2 hours ago, Whistle said:

 

Yeah the idea of romantic (and/or sexual) attraction as any kind of glue baffles me for sure. I like to call it 'fairy dust' (think in fantasy novels where it's always more worthwhile to do something without magic, even though you could easily use magic to do the thing). I joke that my husband's good enough that he didn't need the help of fairy dust to catch me- but on the other hand, oh boy would I be screwed if it weren't for him using it!

 

Also it hit me a few weeks ago that... the common theme in songs of "I saw you across the room and I felt this pull" or w/e? It's actually... a thing? That people feel? I mean probably exaggerated to some extent but like a real phenomenon, weird. 

As someone who does experience sexual attraction, I can understand this idea some-what.

 

Maybe think when you have chocolate and you know you should stop eating it because it will make you feel sick, but you eat more anyway because you want more of the nice taste and sugar rush. Or maybe if you're an overly curious person like me, you find a new thing and you enjoy learning about it, then you keep hunting for more about it until you end up in some weird dark corner of the internet and you are still curious and there is still new, interesting information so you ignore the fact that it's to grusome/dark/explicit for you because you're still chasing that feeling.

 

I don't know how many people those examples will help, or if they're really that helpful, but what I'm trying to describe is the times where you chase a feeling (reward) that you are no longer getting or maybe you can get it but at a big cost. That experience can happen with romantic and/or sexual attraction and stop people from realising the flaws in their relationships.

 

I also think it's a bad thing, and I wish it wasn't promoted as a normal thing or 'romantic' (as in the adjective, not the orientation). In some situations I think it's definitely not a glue, it's a blindfold and and a drug

EDIT: I just noticed that I could have worded this better to make it clear I'm talking about  when a relationship is hollow and only has the 'fairy dust'. At other times, the 'fairy dust' is generally more helpful and a good thing

[pengu]

9 minutes ago, RedNeko said:

As someone who does experience sexual attraction, I can understand this idea some-what.

 

Maybe think when you have chocolate and you know you should stop eating it because it will make you feel sick, but you eat more anyway because you want more of the nice taste and sugar rush. Or maybe if you're an overly curious person like me, you find a new thing and you enjoy learning about it, then you keep hunting for more about it until you end up in some weird dark corner of the internet and you are still curious and there is still new, interesting information so you ignore the fact that it's to grusome/dark/explicit for you because you're still chasing that feeling.

 

 

This was a really good example. (Since I love chocolate too, so there's something I can relate to >.>) 

This all made me really re-think my ideas of love..... I will probably create a new thread on this if anyone care to share their own thoughts. 

[hangryeowyn]

3 hours ago, Simowl said:

Anyone else listen to a song and think "Aw this is really sweet, I'm gonna send this to my friend!" then look at lyrics more closely and "oh they mean love in a romantic way, nevermind"

Because this happens to me so much

 

I did this recently with Something I Need by OneRepublic. I heard it on the radio and I was like "Aw, this reminds me of my best friend, sweet!" and I sent it to my friend and everything but then I realized it was probably meant to be a romo love song. Doesn't matter, I'm claiming it for my own purposes!

[katicha]

That aromantic moment when your teacher tries to argue with you that romantic love isn't necessary to being a complete human being.