Aromantic Moments

[selina]

On 8.4.2016 at 11:48 PM, eddie said:

Thinking you want a girlfriend or boyfriend because everyone you know has one. Then you start talking to someone and you realize once again that it is not what you want. And a long time period passes and the it all happens again the same way. 

Exactly, that's why I thought I wanted a boyfriend before I realized I was aro because I thought it's just what people do 

[Vega]

17 hours ago, 46odnetnin said:

I find it really weird that so many straight male friends do this, like one of my current friends would avoid me until I came out as aromantic because every male friend she had had asked her out at least once. I know all of my male friends in my high school friend group has a crush on another of my friends at different points, just why can't they just leave it at friends? :c

I dream of finding aro friends. Or at least non-gynoromantic/sexual ones.

And I always feel like an arrogant asshole when I'm scared that people would ask me out. But then it seems like it always happens. 

 

I guess I can understand becoming interested in a person you already like nonromantically and spend a lot of time with, but then it seems like they can never read blatant disinterest and always make it really awkward. 

[Natkat]

had a fun episode in the class.

 

me in the classroom. 

girl beside me start to ask me alot of random questions.

her: do you live at home?

me: yes but I want move out, do you?

her: of course I am supposed to live at home until I get marriage

me: that unfortune

her: no living at home is good, there is nothing bad about that 

me: ..yeah sure.... (I thought about the marriage part but okay)

her: so do you have a girlfriend.

me: no

.................sillence.........................

me: wait what NO NO!! slow down!!

her: relax im not going to marriage you!! so typical why do you guys always think that!

me: pff...

teacher: have you finish your work?

her: yes we uhm.... what was your name again?

me: she doesn't know my name but she wants to marriage me. ToT

------------------

 

 

 

[DannyFenton123]

"This boy is sooo hot, and it's really annoying because he's my cousin!"

 

*Double take* *spit out water* *record needle scratch*

[YJR]

I sometimes ship fictional characters in a QP way but it's hard to get other people to sympathize with me.

 

me: *starts chat*

me: wouldn't it be great for these two to help each other out, smile and cry and sing together, have deep conversations, maybe hold hands, feel warmth and trust and hope in each other

A: yeahhhhhhhhhh

A: let's make them go out

B: let's make them kiss and have sex

me: *leaves conversation*

[PerformativeSurprise]

9 hours ago, DannyFenton123 said:

"This boy is sooo hot, and it's really annoying because he's my cousin!"

 

*Double take* *spit out water* *record needle scratch*

 

[Lynx]

"Are you married?"

"No."

"Do you believe in it?"

"Sure, but it's not for me."

"Ah, so you want to see the world before you get married."

"... I just want to see the world."

[owl]

"I love this person so much"

"So you want to marry them?"

"No, I love them platonically..."

"Love means you want to date them!" 

[Rising Sun]

20 minutes ago, Simowl said:

"I love this person so much"

"So you want to marry them?"

"No, I love them platonically..."

"Love means you want to date them!" 

 

I suggest this...

"Do you love your mum ?"

"Yes, why ?"

"So you want to date your mum ?" 

... Enjoy the awkward moment.

[aihpen]

8 minutes ago, Rising Sun said:

 

I suggest this...

"Do you love your mum ?"

"Yes, why ?"

"So you want to date your mum ?" 

... Enjoy the awkward moment.

I tried this before. Worked really well for me. Their reaction was very amusing 

[Lynx]

I had a discussion once where someone agreed that they could love their (romantic) partner, and love their family, but couldn't understand loving your friends. The family-friends parallel didn't work. I had no idea where to take that.

[Spud]

2 hours ago, Lynx said:

I had a discussion once where someone agreed that they could love their (romantic) partner, and love their family, but couldn't understand loving your friends. The family-friends parallel didn't work. I had no idea where to take that.

Maybe mention adoption (because they aren't biologically related like family)? That seems like the type of person who would be very difficult to argue with.

[omitef]

Getting into a super good friendship with someone and then suddenly getting turned off from dating

[Cassiopeia]

I'm not out at work at all, but after situations like this, I do consider it. (Anyway, its a minimum wage job, we get all sorts of people, and I do have to put up with some casual racist/sexist/homophobic micro aggressions every day, so I decided not to risk it.)

But being closeted can be fun sometimes, you get to play undercover agent, and witness stuff like this.

 

So, lunch break, and my coworker S. sits down next to me. She is nice, but we talked like twice, and she does not know me at all. But that does not stop her, there is quite a bit of random TMI. So. We start to chat about life in general, and you know how it is with straight people, if they are in a relationship, the whole world has to know every detail. But seriously, its some sort of compulsion, people just have to know.

I don't mind, whatever.

So I get this description, her better half is a average straight boy, plain as they can be, personality of a stick.

She is happy, so good for her.

 

But then she starts to go on and on about how she sill has the butterflies in her stomach.

Sounds like some weird tropical parasite, but okay, whatever floats your boat.

Then she says she does not want to meet her boyfriend too often, because they are dating for three months now, and she wants to have the butterflies as long as she can.

At this point I was fully prepared to be introduced to something like that parasite thing from the Crimson Horror episode on Doctor Who

Well, that is kinda creepy, and also gross.

We are having lunch after all. At least I was trying to.

I don't really have anything to contribute, as I never had the butterflies.

Not that I want to have them.

The closest first hand experience I had to that "I got some living things in my body" feeling is when we had a head lice scare in nursery... I did not have any, but you know, when people talk about that kind of stuff, you just get itchy.

That probably would not be an appropriate thing to contribute, so I eat my lunch internally screaming like

I I guess this is a normal thing for her, so I nod politely.

And after a while, I realized that she stopped talking and she gives me a look.

Oh, shoot, that's it.

She probably expecting me to tell her about my nonexistent true love.

By this time I was panicking, so I said the first question that came to my mind.

"What are you on?"

That.

I managed to come up with that response.

I did not intend to be mean, but that was my fist response.

Because... this just can't be real.

Like people who get emotionally attached to imaginary parasites are on something.

I'm a open minded person, but around 3 in the afternoon this is a bit wild.

Well, I'm happy to tell you, its not some weird fear-and-loathing-in-las-vegas horse tranquilizer kinda stuff.

She started to talk about birth control.

Without batting an eye.

I don't think she noticed.

 

On days like this, I'm so glad that I'm on the aro spectrum.

Like how? Why is this considered normal? You gotta be kidding me.

 

[Natkat]

random test on the net. 

 

"see which job should you have"

 

me: hmm interesting now I am looking on education anyway.

*take the test*

random question. "are you a romantic person?"

me: uhm... *press no* (why is this relevant for my job?

 

result: you are a very flirting person, you would do well in sale and service.

 

me....................................

 

[Cassiopeia]

@NatkatI'm not even surprised. People need to learn what "romantic", "love", "sex" and "sexual" means and use those words appropriately. Even so called LGBT activists mix and match things randomly, so they don't have to say dirty words like homosexuality. Its so annoying.

[Vega]

Recently, Scientific American had an article about "researchers are realizing that love and lust do not necessarily originate from the same part of the brain" (or something similar). 
And I'm like, yeah, no shit. Half the people on this site are living proof of that.

[Cassiopeia]

5 minutes ago, Vega said:

Recently, Scientific American had an article about "researchers are realizing that love and lust do not necessarily originate from the same part of the brain" (or something similar). 
And I'm like, yeah, no shit. Half the people on this site are living proof of that.

Is that thing up online? Or do you have the issue? Could you scan it? I want to read it. Pleaaaase.

[Vega]

4 minutes ago, Cassiopeia said:

Is that thing up online? Or do you have the issue? Could you scan it? I want to read it. Pleaaaase.

I'm looking, it was a while ago. 

OK, I found it but you'f need to purchase the thingy to read the whole thing. Pity, I'd be interested in reading that. 

http://www.scientificamerican.com/article/strong-relationships-need-lust-as-well-as-love/

Their quote when they shared the article on Facebook: 

"Lust and love both have unique brain signatures, suggesting they are separable, with the brain able to generate lust in the absence of love and vice versa."

 

hhahah, "What monster porn says about science and sexuality" 

[Spud]

25 minutes ago, Vega said:

I'm looking, it was a while ago. 

OK, I found it but you'f need to purchase the thingy to read the whole thing. Pity, I'd be interested in reading that. 

http://www.scientificamerican.com/article/strong-relationships-need-lust-as-well-as-love/

Their quote when they shared the article on Facebook: 

"Lust and love both have unique brain signatures, suggesting they are separable, with the brain able to generate lust in the absence of love and vice versa."

 

hhahah, "What monster porn says about science and sexuality" 

Wow, what a shock. You know, even after browsing AVEN for a few months, I NEVER knew that these could POSSIBLY be separate things

[Vega]

Just now, Spud said:

Wow, what a shock. You know, even after browsing AVEN for a few months, I NEVER knew that these could POSSIBLY be separate things

Still somehow surprises me how ignorant the outside world can be of things that are pretty much obvious to most of the aro & ace communities. 

I almost commented but didn't want to join any potential troll wars that might pop up. 

[Lynx]

-

[Cassiopeia]

@Vega

And its called  "Strong Relationships Need Lust as Well as Love"

Gotta love that casual micro aggression in the title. Like there is no way someone could have a strong relationship without those things. And I'm guessing the author is convinced that there are no types of relationships, just the almighty Cishetsexromance ™ and that's it.

[Vega]

5 minutes ago, Cassiopeia said:

And its called  "Strong Relationships Need Lust as Well as Love"

Gotta love that casual micro aggression in the title. Like there is no way someone could have a strong relationship without those things. And I'm guessing the author is convinced that there are no types of relationships, just the almighty Cishetsexromance ™ and that's it.

Well yeah, it's basically focused on amatonormativity (that the term?) 

It's a pity, I like the magazine and the psychology of romance is fascinating, but their articles on the topic pretty much ignore alternative relationships. 

They probably do also talk about same-sex romantic relationships, though. 

[Dodecahedron314]

On 4/12/2016 at 3:15 AM, YJR said:

I sometimes ship fictional characters in a QP way but it's hard to get other people to sympathize with me.

 

me: *starts chat*

me: wouldn't it be great for these two to help each other out, smile and cry and sing together, have deep conversations, maybe hold hands, feel warmth and trust and hope in each other

A: yeahhhhhhhhhh

A: let's make them go out

B: let's make them kiss and have sex

me: *leaves conversation*

I can definitely relate--I don't always ship, but when I do, it's always queerplatonically. Especially since it's very satisfying to find characters that work really well together on a strictly platonic basis as opposed to just having to kind of squint and avoid the romance implied in some relationships.