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hangryeowyn

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Everything posted by hangryeowyn

  1. You might be talking about a different car ad, but there's this car commercial I keep hearing on spotify that's like "The moon roof I'll propose to you under...the backseat our kids will grow up in..." Blah blah blah aka these are things literally everyone should want and plan for. If you're selling a car tell me it's a good car, don't rely so much on pathos. Drives me bananas. I always mute it.
  2. I play otome games all the time! There's ham and cheese galore for sure, but I get a lot of enjoyment out of the strategy behind choosing the right options to win a person's heart. I think it's really fun to go in a game with a ridiculous premise (just google "Shall We Date" games and you'll see-they're incredible lol), pick a guy from a group, and then acquire them. It's kinda like beating a dungeon in an adventure game, except it's a person. And it's fun to see how different dialogue/action options affect the different partner choices. Like for example the object of the "Jerk Type" storyline is to break down his emotional walls (my favorite because it's the most challenging imo), while the "Prince Type" usually responds well to the more stereotypically "feminine" (aka passive) dialogue options. And then of course there's the added nuance of choice in games where you can get many different endings. I played one once that had a bad ending (rejection), a wedding ending (aka the "sweet" ending), the steamy ending (which was basically the wedding ending but with sex), and the mediocre ending (the casual relationship ending). I can't speak for people who enjoy the opposite version of this genre of games, but reverse harem games and anime can be a lot of fun. Obviously I have no idea how romo folks feel when they play otome games but like I said the strategy and satisfaction of winning is fun. After a while you kinda understand the patterns of the types of characters, unlike in real life when people seeking romance are as mysterious as the darn sphinx.
  3. As a matter of fact, if the Leading Man and Leading Lady don't have True Love's Kiss then "Dramaworld" (the dimension in which tv shows happen) ceases to exist. So in this case it could have turned into a disaster show. It was a lowkey parody of these romance dramas though...
  4. I'm a bad aro in mind and body I'm sorry don't expel me. Oh golly here we go: 1) I really enjoy fictional romance and romantic songs for the most part. Romance fanfic, romance books, Kdramas, romantic subplots in movies and shows (if they're done well)-I even have my shipper goggles on and get on board with non-canon romantic ships on my own. Ed Sheeran songs are sweet. Flash mob marriage proposals make me cry. I eat that stuff up, man. 2) People being in romantic relationships doing romantic things doesn't bother me any, as long as they aren't getting in my way(making out on the stairs, for example) or aren't being obnoxious. 3) I like physical intimacy like cuddling, linking arms, etc (with both nonsexual partners and sexual partners), and I like sex and kissing in sexual contexts. (I've noticed a lot of posts talking about being repulsed by kissing and physical things as a matter of fact, but hey that's not necessarily a romo thing yo) 4) I think it would be neat to have a wedding and get married 5) I use Tinder and I don't see anything wrong with choosing a partner based on looks, age, and distance. I mean some people use it to find a Romo Partner, but in my experience mostly not and that works just fine for my needs. 6) On that note, I'm sexually monogamous 7) I like myself the way I am as an aro but I don't want to be alone forever and I don't feel like that's something to be ashamed of/something that needs fixing 8) I like the idea of receiving romantic gestures 9) I lowkey want to be loved while knowing full well I can't return the feelings at any point 10) I like sex in general, but I prefer sex with someone I platonically care about more (right into the Danger Zone on that one lol) 11) I sometimes fantasize about what it would be like to date my squishes (with no intention to follow through obv)
  5. This is long because I have three separate aro moments that lead into each other... 1: At a really young age I decided I didn't want to get married, and the oh-so-familiar adult response all the way up to my early teen years was that I would "grow out of it" or change my mind when I met "the right one" and "felt the spark." I guess this sort of ingrained in me the idea that the reason I wasn't feeling anything was because I hadn't met "the right one" yet, and when I met him, I would be able to feel what everyone else felt. 2. (This moment is a lot more embarrassing to think about now but I'm sure you guys will understand) In high school, I was paranoid that the guys I knew might approach me out of the blue one day and ask me out or something and I wanted to be prepared ahead of time, so I would regularly sit myself down and analyze my feelings towards the guys I knew to see if I had a crush on any of them. It wasn't until later that I was informed that people who feel romantic attraction don't actually need to sit down and go over it: they automatically know. 14/15/16 year old me didn't know that at the time, but oh well. This was Young Me actively trying to be prepared to meet "the right one." 3. And then finally in the last couple years of high school I had an intense squish on this guy friend in my year. Later I would realize that I just aggressively wanted to be his friend, but at the time I thought it was my first real crush ("the right one" to fix me and make me feel something, is what I assumed was happening). I liked his company and I liked talking to him and stuff. I guess I thought back then that was what romantic interest was. Problem was this: one of my closest female friends had an actual crush on him at the same time and was rejected, and this guy apparently was interested in me to some degree. I backed off for her sake (and I'm fairly certain she never found out the guy was interested in me), but boy howdy that situation could have needlessly ruined a friendship. So awkward to think about now...
  6. My romo ace friend and I were watching this miniseries called "Dramaworld" where a girl had to go into a tv show and make sure the main couple fell in love, and the Big Rule was that she wasn't supposed to fall in love with the Leading Man. When they say this rule in the show I comment that if it was me that wouldn't be a problem and she turns to me and goes "Oh yeah right, you would totally fall for him" And I'm thinking to myself 'Girl, you know I'm aro, why are you like this???'
  7. I drink fairly often at home, but not usually when visiting my parents (unless it's a holiday meal) since they're conservative and think all drinking leads to alcoholism. Bourbon and red wine are my favorites. A little bit helps me wind down and quiets down the anxiety in social situations.
  8. I came out to my mom a while ago and it took a long time and several different ways of explaining it for her to get it. When I explained that it was a spectrum she started to understand a little bit more because we discovered that she might be demiromantic and demisexual. The fact that I'm allosexual is a point of contention between us because she thinks sex outside of marriage is a sin against God yadda yadda yadda, so we just sort of avoid that subject to avoid conflict. Sometimes when we're watching a movie or tv show she'll be like "I bet that character is aromantic" so that's kind of nice. I've tried to come out to my dad multiple times but I don't think he understands what I'm trying to say. Eventually I'm going to have to be as plain and direct as possible. I don't know if he'll understand it as a concept, but I think he'll be in favor of me not getting married or anything-he's one of those dads who thinks no one is good enough for their daughter. I'm not out to either of my brothers. Neither of them would get it, and I don't care if I have their approval or not anyway.
  9. Uuuh, I'm ashamed to admit I can't remember any interactions with Monty other than with Jasper...
  10. I could see that. I mean he had that one chick who died (Gina? idk) but eh overall he doesn't seem into romantic stuff.
  11. Nooooooooooooooooooooooooo it was so close! I had it! I had this headcanon in my arms and now it's gone! Damn you, writers!
  12. I'm only behind a little bit! Last bit I watched was the season 3 premier. Some might say she loved Finn and loves Lexa. I say she cares about them but doesn't love them romantically. Her people come first (er, so far).
  13. I heartily agree with the aro!Rey, Dean, and Katniss headcanons! I'm so here for that! I was thinking Clarke Griffin from the 100 could be aromantic or somewhere on the spectrum. I'm half a season behind on my viewing so I don't know what she's been up to recently, but it seems to me that romantically coded actions were incidental rather than romantically inspired, if that makes any sense. She's more focused on keeping her kids alive and doing what she has to do to live than worrying about Finn's (or anyone else's) feelings. Her and Bellamy more or less have a qpr going on (excluding the latest season, again).
  14. I'm a Slytherin, sometimes I get Erudite and sometimes Dauntless, Hephaestus, and (adding an extra category) a Dwarf of Middle Earth
  15. I think it would be pretty neat if the other person was into that and understood what they were getting into. Tax benefits, you get better FAFSA help, you can share the financial burden of housing and food, you can have pizza parties whenever, always have a movie drinking game partner to beat, and in my case have a convenient sexual partner on hand! Plus, I've always wanted to have a wedding because I want to wear a pretty dress and a have big party and extort expensive appliances and home goods from all of my family and friends. The only downside I could see is other people confusing us for a romantic couple, which doesn't really matter to me. I don't really care what other people think about my personal life. Yeah, I would absolutely do this under the right circumstances!
  16. I was raised in a conservative Baptist church. These days I go to a more modern non-denominational church that's a lot more relaxed about single/not single. I think it helps that most of the congregation is 18-25 age group because it's in a college town and that's not as much of a hot issue as it was in my hometown which was very middle class mandatory picket fence culture. The tricky thing for me when it comes to discussing this kind of thing with other Christians is that there's this huge stigma against sex outside of marriage. I'm not asexual. I do want sex, but I don't want the traditional romantic marriage that those in the church would be used to. Barring a platonic marriage, in their eyes I would be "living in sin" by either cohabitating or generally having sex outside of marriage. So at this point I not only have to fight against those who have a problem with being single (Hellooooo, Paul anyone??), I also have to wrestle with the sex part. I personally don't see a problem with it, but I've only met one other Christian who agrees with me.
  17. Well, the first person I came out to was my roommate at the time, who had been my friend for 7 years. She's pansexual and knew about asexuality but not aromanticism. So what happened was I was in the living room researching aro stuff and I had that "ah ha" moment, and she walked in and I immediately turned to her and said "Hey, I think I'm aromantic" and after explaining what that was she was like "That can't be it, I know for a fact you've had crushes in the past" (But actually those were squishes but she also didn't feel like squishes were a thing) So that one was a bust. The second person I came out to was my best friend who has known me for over 13 years. She is asexual and so was probably more familiar with the terms than I was at that point. So I texted her about it and she said something to the effect of "Yeah that really fits you, now that you mention it." So that was really good. The third and last person I properly came out to was my mom. She's a conservative Baptist, so she feels like it's a woman's "calling" to submit to her husband and not be in positions of leadership and settle down and not be gay and not have sex outside of marriage. All that stuff. She has been aware that my ideals don't match hers (I'm pretty vocal about my opinions), but I don't think she knew what to make of my explanation of asexuality and aromanticism. To ease her into it, over the course of several months I gradually introduced the idea that not everyone experiences life the same way and sometimes people don't want sex. She was okay with this and was outraged that anyone would bully someone because they weren't doing something. On that foundation I introduced her to the idea that not feeling romantic love was a thing. It was here that we hit a snag and she didn't quite seem to grasp that it wasn't a choice or a "phase" but she wasn't aggressively against the idea. I think she's kind of hoping I'll change my mind one day. Recently my dad was making racist jokes (unfortunately), and my mom goes "Don't say stuff like that! What if our daughter brings home an asian boy and you act like that!" Don't be racist is a good message, but don't make my unlikely partner the reason to not be racist. I haven't come out to my dad or brothers yet but my mom doesn't believe in secrets so I'm sure she has mentioned something to them. I have low expectations for how my dad would react, for obvious reasons.
  18. I did this recently with Something I Need by OneRepublic. I heard it on the radio and I was like "Aw, this reminds me of my best friend, sweet!" and I sent it to my friend and everything but then I realized it was probably meant to be a romo love song. Doesn't matter, I'm claiming it for my own purposes!
  19. I'm so afraid of friends leaving me for their romantic relationships that it's really hard for me to trust someone enough to try to become friends with them in the first place. I'm working on accepting that people move on and I won't be anyone's Number One but it's hard. It's kind of funny because before I knew I was aromantic I thought I wanted a romantic relationship, but what I really wanted was to be important rather than a periphery. Another related thing I'm afraid of is finding a long-term QPR and maybe even platonic marriage (tax and loan benefits and convenient sex woo!), and not being enough for them. How could I possibly know if my platonic love for them is enough of a return for their feelings? I don't want to hold them back from finding the actual love of their life who can love them back in the same way, you know? They might say that they are okay with the arrangement at the beginning, but there's no real way to know if that's how they'll always feel, and there's no way to know if someone else better suited will come along. I don't want to hurt someone just because I can't feel romantic love. And then of course if that were to happen, I would then have to deal with the emotional fallout of someone leaving again. It's a messy business.
  20. Breathe underwater-I'm afraid of heights. WYR have chocolate ice cream or vanilla ice cream?
  21. I thought I was a standard straight but kind of a jerk because things like hookups and marriages of convenience were appealing. I remember thinking to myself "what's wrong with you? Like someone back already so you aren't alone!"
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