Aromantic Moments

[DannyFenton123]

2 hours ago, katicha said:

That aromantic moment when your teacher tries to argue with you that romantic love isn't necessary to being a complete human being. 

 

That's awful, I'm sorry 

 

And I know this (thankfully) has been a while ago, but who remembers the shed load of aro moments around Valentine's Day?

[Spud]

Okay, so this has happened a few times already… 

So I'm kind of repulsed by kissing and romance, but not severely. When I see kissing on TV and stuff (or in real life ), it grosses me out.

 

So I watched a TV show with my mom, and there were two girls kissing. I was really grossed out. My mom said I was being homophobic, and I was like "No Mom. I'm equally disgusted by all romance." And then she laughed.

[46odnetnin]

4 hours ago, Spud said:

Okay, so this has happened a few times already… 

So I'm kind of repulsed by kissing and romance, but not severely. When I see kissing on TV and stuff (or in real life ), it grosses me out.

 

So I watched a TV show with my mom, and there were two girls kissing. I was really grossed out. My mom said I was being homophobic, and I was like "No Mom. I'm equally disgusted by all romance." And then she laughed.

noooo ugh Its the worst when people laugh, so disrespectful :c

~sends ice cream~

 

SO todays aro moment, made a new friend online and came out right away because I'm scared of people catching feelings for me again, then when I don't reciprocate they hate me and leave ಠ╭╮ಠ

[Louis On Air]

It's called English Literature and it should just vacate the earth's face!

 

Also I'm on Yearbook team in my school and I'm a bit to relaxed about the 'Cutest Couple' award as in I don't value breakups as any hardship, just something I need to remember to update to avoid embarrassment when the cutest match broke up 2 months ago which may make me look cold but I literally have no idea what it even is to be in a relationship!

 

But thankfully my best friend gets me and we're relaxed talking about mine and hers (she's bi) experiences and also where we went on holiday but some of my friends can be pissy about my lack of preference so DEAP BREATH...

[owl]

10 hours ago, Louis Hypo said:

It's called English Literature and it should just vacate the earth's face!

Oh man, we had to study all those "relationship" poems for English Lit GCSE. Some were about family but the romance ones... Wow.

[Louis On Air]

1 hour ago, Simowl said:

Oh man, we had to study all those "relationship" poems for English Lit GCSE. Some were about family but the romance ones... Wow.

I did the 'relationship' cluster too! I was thinking "cool cool but can we get back to Sister Maude or Harmonium or something?"

[Zema]

This isn't really a moment, but more of a passing thought that i had before i knew that aromanticism was a thing.

 

So my family has made fun of me since a young age about how i can't talk to girls, mainly because i've always been socially awkward and shy. I always thought this was ridiculous because i knew that i was just terrible at talking to people i didn't know, and i didn't know any girls; especially since i went to an all boys school for middle school. Because of this i have always this feeling in the back of my mind to talk to girls to prove my family wrong. So I thought that having a lesbian friend would solve my problem. It proves to my family that i can talk to girls, but a lesbian wouldn't interested in being anything but my friend. It was a kind of stupid thought.

 

I realise now that they were probably talking about flirting or something, so this wouldn't have stopped them making fun of me. But i guess they're kind of right, but for the wrong reasons. I couldn't flirt with someone if my life depended on it, but it's not because i'm socially awkward. The feeling in the back of my brain to push me toward talking to girls hasn't gone away since discovering aromanticism though sadly. It's basically ingrained into me at this point. Although now it's pushing me to become friends with any girl that i think is awesome.

[Cassiopeia]

Yeah, the made up crushes.

 

So when I was around 8-9, my classmates were asking if I had a crush. I did not, but there was this boy who was bullied all the time and I felt truly sorry for. Everybody had crushes on the popular kids, so I thought that's it, the perfect opportunity, he will be bullied less and they will stop asking me stupid questions about crushes. I made up this crush on to boost his ego, but it had quite the opposite effect, kids started to tease both of for months. Oh dear.

 

And then later on, I made up this other crush on a female friend, to prove that I'm a Real Lesbian™

I had five friends and I decided that that kind of emotional closeness would be The Thing. I mean she was pretty and hot too, and conveniently straight so it felt safe. I even looked up how I was supposed to act around someone I had feelings for. But after all it turned out to be a pointless effort, all my friends were straight at that point so nobody wanted to know the "homo details".

 

Also allo people who seem to know my feelings better than I do.

I was dating my ex, and me and my friend (they are a nice person regardless) were talking about dating.  I voiced my concerns about how I didn't think loved my girlfriend properly, and they started to tell me about how happy and in love we were. I guess it took me so long to realize something was off cos everybody else would have assumptions about how I felt.

I started to tally mark men who "wanted to be my friend" but turned out to be romantically/sexually interested. I have lost count after a while. I guess I kinda naive, and also completely oblivious when it comes to romantic feelings.

We would have a rad friendship, with long talks, lots of fun, and then, out blue they'd do something sexual like trying to kiss me. And I'm there looking at them, like where did you get the idea, mate? Why would you do that? Like you know that I'm gay, right? Seriously?

And then, they would try to explain how my actions could be read as romantic, and they totally thought I was making a move. I'm not sure why, but all of them try this angle. It is creepy and so entitled.

Anybody else experienced this?

 

[aihpen]

18 minutes ago, Cassiopeia said:

Also allo people who seem to know my feelings better than I do.

I was dating my ex, and me and my friend (they are a nice person regardless) were talking about dating.  I voiced my concerns about how I didn't think loved my girlfriend properly, and they started to tell me about how happy and in love we were. I guess it took me so long to realize something was off cos everybody else would have assumptions about how I felt.

I started to tally mark men who "wanted to be my friend" but turned out to be romantically/sexually interested. I have lost count after a while. I guess I kinda naive, and also completely oblivious when it comes to romantic feelings.

We would have a rad friendship, with long talks, lots of fun, and then, out blue they'd do something sexual like trying to kiss me. And I'm there looking at them, like where did you get the idea, mate? Why would you do that? Like you know that I'm gay, right? Seriously?

And then, they would try to explain how my actions could be read as romantic, and they totally thought I was making a move. I'm not sure why, but all of them try this angle. It is creepy and so entitled.

Anybody else experienced this?

 

I once met with a guy who I thought could be a friend and at some point he put his arm around my waist and I made it pretty clear I didn't like that and scooted away from him, he scooted closer and put his arm around me again saying I obviously like it, I kept moving away and trying to make him understand that I was being serious, but he kept insisting I'd enjoy it. I honestly felt like I was about to vomit and I just ran away. Like seriously if I say I don't like/want/enjoy something just accept that. How is someone else supposed to know how I feel about things? I know myself better than anyone else and people need to understand that 

[RedNeko]

53 minutes ago, Cassiopeia said:

Also allo people who seem to know my feelings better than I do.

I was dating my ex, and me and my friend (they are a nice person regardless) were talking about dating.  I voiced my concerns about how I didn't think loved my girlfriend properly, and they started to tell me about how happy and in love we were. I guess it took me so long to realize something was off cos everybody else would have assumptions about how I felt.

I started to tally mark men who "wanted to be my friend" but turned out to be romantically/sexually interested. I have lost count after a while. I guess I kinda naive, and also completely oblivious when it comes to romantic feelings.

We would have a rad friendship, with long talks, lots of fun, and then, out blue they'd do something sexual like trying to kiss me. And I'm there looking at them, like where did you get the idea, mate? Why would you do that? Like you know that I'm gay, right? Seriously?

And then, they would try to explain how my actions could be read as romantic, and they totally thought I was making a move. I'm not sure why, but all of them try this angle. It is creepy and so entitled.

Anybody else experienced this?

 

I'm not really  in the mood for thinking about my more negative experiences today, but I'll share some with a more positive outcome

On two occasions I've had people 'flirt' with me, and they've ended up actually telling me that they're trying to flirt because they figured out that I wasn't on the same page, so to speak. It was always very disappointing because I thought we were having a good conversation, but at least in these cases they were very nice about it and politely went on their way.

[Confirmed Bachelor]

Thinking you want a girlfriend or boyfriend because everyone you know has one. Then you start talking to someone and you realize once again that it is not what you want. And a long time period passes and the it all happens again the same way. 

[Jade]

Listening to love songs. 

 

When I was young, I really loved Taylor Swift, but it just never occurred to me that her songs were about romance--to me, it seemed obvious that all of them except for Love Story, Fearless, Sparks Fly, Speak Now, and Last Kiss (maybe one or two others?) were about friends and family, although I thought it was kind of weird that they were all about boys. Because... That's what love is to me: how you feel about friends and family! It never even occurred to me that she was talking about ~special sparkly romance love~ until one of my friends was talking about how Taylor Swift's songs applied to the boy she had a crush on because That's What They're About: Crushes On Boys (she was actually a lesbian and we were both totally faking our "crushes" but...yeah  I was a bit surprised)

[katicha]

That aromantic moment when you try to explain to your friend that the reason you broke up with you your ex-boyfriend is that even though he was everything you've ever wanted, you didn't have feelings for him, 

and he replies with "It's selfish of you." 

and "It's unfair for the guy."

[DannyFenton123]

2 hours ago, katicha said:

That aromantic moment when you try to explain to your friend that the reason you broke up with you your ex-boyfriend is that even though he was everything you've ever wanted, you didn't have feelings for him, 

and he replies with "It's selfish of you." 

and "It's unfair for the guy."

I'm sorry that happened. It's in no way selfish to break off something like that

[katicha]

8 minutes ago, DannyFenton123 said:

I'm sorry that happened. It's in no way selfish to break off something like that

 

I know- if anything, it was better for the guy because I simply couldn't love him and he would've ended up getting super hurt ^^' So yeah, I was kinda surprised when my friend told me that because !?!?!!???????! How? cx 

[DannyFenton123]

Just now, katicha said:

 

I know- if anything, it was better for the guy because I simply couldn't love him and he would've ended up getting super hurt ^^' So yeah, I was kinda surprised when my friend told me that because !?!?!!???????! How? cx 

Exactly. I don't follow your friend's logic 

[Vega]

I once had a guy on the internet tell me I was being selfish because I talked about wanting aromantic representation in movies. 

Also that he would "rather tear his skin off" than "live without feeling love" which I thought was pretty hilarious. 

 

 

Also, when someone heard I didn't remember my phone number: 
Her: "But what if some wonderful guy wants your number? Think about what a poor impression that will make on him! 

And I was just thinking what a convenient excuse it was to not give my number to people.

 

[DeMorgan]

1 hour ago, Vega said:

Also, when someone heard I didn't remember my phone number: 
Her: "But what if some wonderful guy wants your number? Think about what a poor impression that will make on him! 

And I was just thinking what a convenient excuse it was to not give my number to people.

 

From what I understand of generic heteroromantic dating, that's bound to make nothing but a positive impression. You'd be "cute" for not remembering your own number. Back in ye olden times (before cellphones), it'd probably be taken as a negative. Not now, though.

[Spud]

On the topic of phone numbers, I always get paranoid now when someone I just met who isn't clearly my friend asks for my phone number. I had some random person at a competition ask for it, and I was only okay with it because they asked everyone else in my group for theirs, too. Society has made me paranoid!

 

I feel like if someone was obviously flirting with me (hasn't happened yet), I would be totally oblivious and probably be excited because someone took the time to talk to me :3

[Vega]

Demorgan, you're probably right. But I still think it's a good excuse to run away from a random guy.

 

5 minutes ago, Spud said:

On the topic of phone numbers, I always get paranoid now when someone I just met who isn't clearly my friend asks for my phone number. I had some random person at a competition ask for it, and I was only okay with it because they asked everyone else in my group for theirs, too. Society has made me paranoid!

 

I feel like if someone was obviously flirting with me (hasn't happened yet), I would be totally oblivious and probably be excited because someone took the time to talk to me :3

I get so paranoid too. I don't get hit on a lot, but it's happened enough that I tend to get really paranoid whenever a guy starts talking to me. 

It's the worst with straight male friends though, I've gotten asked out by most of my male friends and it's always awful.

[46odnetnin]

8 hours ago, Vega said:

Demorgan, you're probably right. But I still think it's a good excuse to run away from a random guy.

 

I get so paranoid too. I don't get hit on a lot, but it's happened enough that I tend to get really paranoid whenever a guy starts talking to me. 

It's the worst with straight male friends though, I've gotten asked out by most of my male friends and it's always awful.

I find it really weird that so many straight male friends do this, like one of my current friends would avoid me until I came out as aromantic because every male friend she had had asked her out at least once. I know all of my male friends in my high school friend group has a crush on another of my friends at different points, just why can't they just leave it at friends? :c

[DannyFenton123]

There was one time when I was at this dance, and this guy asked for my phone number. But I went to the dance to DANCE, not to get people's phone numbers, so I kind of just ran away 

[Dodecahedron314]

11 hours ago, Vega said:

Demorgan, you're probably right. But I still think it's a good excuse to run away from a random guy.

 

I get so paranoid too. I don't get hit on a lot, but it's happened enough that I tend to get really paranoid whenever a guy starts talking to me. 

It's the worst with straight male friends though, I've gotten asked out by most of my male friends and it's always awful.

I have the opposite problem--in the extremely rare cases in which I have been hit on, I have invariably been 100% oblivious because it's just not a thing that even enters my mind. Both times that it's happened (to my knowledge, anyway), I only realized it because my friends told me what was going on afterward (although I still highly doubt one of those instances...but the most recent one was definitely a lot more suspicious, and a lot more creepy.) After the last instance, I'm starting to think I should perhaps start being slightly more paranoid...*shudders*

[Cassiopeia]

4 minutes ago, Dodecahedron314 said:

I have the opposite problem--in the extremely rare cases in which I have been hit on, I have invariably been 100% oblivious because it's just not a thing that even enters my mind. Both times that it's happened (to my knowledge, anyway), I only realized it because my friends told me what was going on afterward (although I still highly doubt one of those instances...but the most recent one was definitely a lot more suspicious, and a lot more creepy.) After the last instance, I'm starting to think I should perhaps start being slightly more paranoid...*shudders*

This happens to me as well. My brain just doesn't compute when it comes to romantic gestures.

16 hours ago, katicha said:

That aromantic moment when you try to explain to your friend that the reason you broke up with you your ex-boyfriend is that even though he was everything you've ever wanted, you didn't have feelings for him, 

and he replies with "It's selfish of you." 

and "It's unfair for the guy."

Sounds like a toxic situation to me. There is no way you'd be selfish for wanting to get out of it.

[Confirmed Bachelor]

I rarely have the problem of getting hit on. Must be my resting bitch face.