Mark Posted June 6, 2018 Share Posted June 6, 2018 52 minutes ago, NullVector said: I think with strongly 'romantic' types, there is a tendency to want all those 'intimacies' to be present in a single person (or perhaps two or three people, in the case of poly-amorous allo-romantics) want all the intimacies present in that person(s) to also be at a greater level of intensity that for there friends (with whom not all the intimacies would be there at once and those that were there would be expected to be more 'dilute') The former seems to explain what I've previously described as "bundling" when it comes to romantic relationships. Including less obvious 'intimacies' such as co-habitation, entangling personal finances, identity merger. The latter seems a good explanation for hierarchy. Be it between partner(s) and friends or primary/secondary/tertiary 'partners'. 52 minutes ago, NullVector said: Whereas a strongly aromantic person wouldn't particularly care how the numbers and intensities of different 'intimacies' were distributed amongst their friends and/or sexual partners. For example, they might have strong sexual intimacy with one person but weak "in the moment" intimacy (outside of the sex act) and weak intellectual intimacy. With another person they might have far stronger intellectual and "In the moment" intimacy, but no sexual intimacy whatsoever. And so on. And the aromatic person would be totally fine with this, whereas the strongly romantic person might see it as a problematic form of 'emotional cheating' (as they would tend to want all the intimacies to be present together and also strongest with their romantic partners). This sounds like a good description of 'relationship anarchy'. There definitely are alloromantic relationship anarchists. Though possibly not including the 'strongly romantic'. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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