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Everything posted by Queasy_Attention

  1. Well, since I use the term myself, as an aroallo, I guess I'll chip in with my two cents. I don't personally see the term allo as anything more than a neutral identifying word, just like "cisgender." And much like "cisgender", it's used to label something that, for the most part, is a societal given. Usually identity terms exist to label things that deviate from societal norms, such as lesbian, gay, transgender, asexual, aromantic, etc. But there's nothing inherently wrong with having a label for something that is already widely accepted. I'm allosexual and I see nothing wrong with that
  2. YES! When I was in choir we stared Christmas carols in AUGUST. I am so INTO that shit, bring it ONNNNNN!! TPBM can fold an origami crane.
  3. Ha, same here. I'm definitely not asexual, and I'm also definitely aromantic. A lot of the "symptoms" of sexual attraction and romantic attraction overlap, so sometimes it can be difficult to differentiate what type of attraction you're really feeling. It took me a really long time to realize that while I was attracted to people, I wasn't comfortable with a relationship-- and that's okay! I also agree that aces and aros are often lumped together with no distinction. I can see how this is a problem on both sides: us aroallos (aromantic, allosexual) don't like the assumption that we're ace,
  4. Alas, My Alligator Ran Away! Nobody Take Him! MACARONI
  5. False. The problem with the cave is when you're in the cave, you're extremely inside the cave. TPBM likes writing by hand more than typing
  6. Man, I Like Ingrid. Though It's Arduous. NEUTROIS
  7. Oh man, that's a hard one. I've felt the same impulse, honestly! I kind of want to tell my two exes that I found out I was aro, but I don't know if it's a good idea (in my case, anyway.) The first relationship ended years ago and we're not really on speaking terms, plus I don't really care what he thinks about me- so I don't feel a particular desire to start opening up to him about this private detail that only, like, 3 other people know about. The other one... we dated for a year, and I was really into them. But I've only now realized that I was feeling really intense platonic attraction. Our
  8. I think this is really interesting! It's like a spectrum between being totally aro or totally allo- if you fall somewhere on the spectrum, then you're free to describe yourself as part of either category. I just think colloquially, "not allo" identities (aka greyromantic, frayromantic, cupioromantic, demiromantic, aromantic, etc) are collected together because the fact that they are not the "norm" (alloromantic) is significant in a society that doesn't enthusiastically acknowledge the existence of anything but the norm. But that's just the way I've understood it! Of course individuals are
  9. I don't know if it needs to be said, but obviously I don't agree that one way of experiencing romantic/sexual attraction is "correct." "100% allo" in my eyes would be the societally "acceptable way" of experiencing attraction, as in completely. As in, the way nearly all (American, at least) media depicts attraction. Romantic attraction is widely considered an inherent human trait, we are all "expected" to feel it, etc etc. Asexuality is becoming more of a mainstream idea, but there is still an underlying societal assumption that everyone experiences sexual attraction. Obviously, both of t
  10. Well the "norm" is being 100% allo. I'd say that If you don't experience sexual attraction or romantic attraction in the same way that most people are expected to (aka "normally", aka completely), then you are different from that normal and therefore belong in a different category: namely, under the asexual or aromantic umbrellas. ^Obviously "normal" doesn't exist and everything's a spectrum etc etc etc, but the way I see it is like, I dunno, a color spectrum. If the whole world was "supposed to be" blue, and some people were green or shades of teal, you would categorize the green and tea
  11. Hey, welcome to the forums! I like the term "teammate", that's a good shorthand for a QPR without making it too... technical. I think that's what I like, too. Regardless of how much pride you do or don't want to show, you're more than welcome here
  12. Welcome! It was a huge eye-opening moment for me too when I discovered that sexual attraction and romantic attraction didn't always coincide!
  13. I've been trying to get into Pratchett, but I have no idea where to start-- it seems like all his books are sort of one-off stories set in the same universe. Which of his books do you think could serve as a good intro to that universe?
  14. Yep yep yep! All of this, yep! I've been shipping for years, I love sappy romance novels, I love recycled fanfic tropes. And I also feel you so hard on TV romance subplots, god, they're so boring!! Just make these characters friends!! I think for a relationship to work for me, it has to appeal to the types of attraction that I do experience: sexual and platonic. If the platonic attraction is interesting (they have an unlikely friendship, they fit really well together-- or they don't fit really well together and it's intentional) and/or the sexual attraction is interesting (the characters have
  15. Welcome! Yeah, it's a doozy trying to figure out the difference between platonic/physical/romantic/etc attractions. I'm sure you can do it, though!
  16. Yeeessss, I ADORE the trope of the good-natured aro sex buddy who cheers his allo friends on
  17. Yoooo 😭😭😭 I wrote aroallo dudes all the time-- I thought I was being so clever, subverting tropes. See, see, instead of having the normal personality trait of being all nervous about sex and needing to go slow with someone they trust, I'd do it backwards-- my characters would be totally comfortable w/sex, but then the moment actual dating came up they'd get all uncomfortable and have to go slow. TURNS OUT THEYRE JUST ARO LOL WHO KNEW
  18. Hey! Welcome, fellow baker and Good-Place-Lover 🎢🎢
  19. Interesting! I think I'm a bit the opposite. Part of why I liked reading romance before was that I couldn't quite pin down why I liked some romances better than others. When one hit, it was really exciting because it was unexpected. Now, I know what I like and what I don't, so I know how to look for it better but it doesn't surprise me anymore. Holy shit, cheers to that. I burned through so many old YA books the week before election week-- and during election week, too. Twilight, Percy Jackson, Beastly (which was that good kind of awful, I highly recommend it), Warriors, etc. It's a g
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