Aimee03

Umm, ew?? Hard nope.

If you’re greyromantic, I’d love to hear your stories! How do you experience romantic attraction (if you do)?? Do you consider yourself a very romantic person (as in, totally down for classic romantic activities, etc.)? ——— As for me, I’m like a razor thin edge away from being totally aromantic. But I realised that I very very rarely experience romantic attraction, but it is so weak and mild, it’s quite like a vapor. Barely even there, really. It’s very hard to tell it’s there. Like a puff of air from half a mile away. ^^ I’ve never really had any intense crushes either... my “crushes” were probably more like squishes anyway, or they were just incredibly weak and very rare. I’m not a romantic person. I’ve never given or received romantic gifts, never “celebrated” a Valentine’s Day, or anything else like that. It just doesn’t ever cross my mind, really. On the incredibly rare occasion that I might feel a whisper of romantic attraction, I might not mind romantic things so much, but usually I’m somewhat romance repulsed.

Thanks for your reply! I haven’t had any similar experiences since then, it was just the one time. It’s been around 12 years since then, so I’m not sure why I even remember it...I did feel some sort of love toward him, I suppose, which might be why I remember it. I’m leaning towards greyromantic, but I just wanted some outside opinions like I mentioned before. :)

TL;DR - If you struggled between the aro or greyro labels, how did you settle on one? Well here I am, questioning my romantic orientation(?) again. I’ve been using aromantic, but now I’m wondering if I might be greyro? I’m definitely ace as well, but I do experience other forms of attraction, and I just can’t tell if any of them are romantic? I’ve read examples where people have tried describing their experiences, and they all sound rather intense to me. Like feeling a “pull” toward someone they’re romantically attracted to...what does that even mean? I can understand the concept of sexual attraction in a very impersonal, abstract sort of way, but the concept of romantic attraction just boggles my mind. Presently, I am 31. I’ve never fallen in love as far as I can tell. I thought I had crushes in the past, but more recently I realised they were most likely squishes, since they were nowhere near as intense as what I’ve seen described. The closest experience I had was a long time ago, around age 19/20, when I was dating a guy from my high school that I really liked...my relationship with him was so consuming that it almost wrecked my relationship with my best friend. I’m not sure if what I felt for him was romantic or not though, but I did want to be with him all the time (which is very strange for me, because I’m introverted and need loads of time alone). Looking back on it, it was weird and I’ve never ever felt like that with anyone else. And oh boy, it took me ages to get over him. Anyway, this is really long, so if you’ve read this far, thanks! I’m just trying to get some outside opinions about how to differentiate between aromantic and greyromantic.

Nah. I dated some people...didn’t get the “feels”. They probably thought I didn’t care at all (which is kinda true to be honest, at least in the romantic sense). *shrug*

I realised that I’m ace first and then I started wondering if I’m also aro. I’m pretty sure that I am, but I’m not 100% sure

Early sign I was aro — long ago when I was a young child, I refused to refer to anything/anyone as “cute”. I would say “cool” instead. Probably strange for a preteen girl to never say anything was “cute” lol. I started to say it later on, but I guess it was just an effort to blend in better.

@DeltaV I just tried them because, you know, allonormativity. Thought that I should try them in the off chance that I might “find someone”. Lol! It was before I figured out I’m aroace though

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This thread is interesting; I hope it gets more answers. I took the weird quiz and got a 3 😂

Weird! Thanks for posting that :)

Just read through this entire thread and the only thing I can say with certainty is - I don’t think I’ve ever felt romantic attraction and I still don’t know what it is. I think I sort of get the concept in a very abstract, impersonal sort of way, but that’s debatable.

Just as the title says, can anyone help me out with this? I figure it’s a pretty murky distinction, but I could be wrong.

@aro_elise wow, thanks!! 😧 I feel like such a weirdo since I’ve never experienced anything like that. My poor aroace self trying to use dating apps 🤣🤣 no wonder I hate them. It all makes sense now.