Quinoa Posted June 16, 2016 Share Posted June 16, 2016 So I'm wondering whether there are any trends as far as whether aros like to be touched. I have heard that a lot of aros don't like being touched, and I have always been curious about this because I like hugs and cuddling in a non-romantic way (just no kisses). In fact, that was one of the main things that made me take so long to realize I was aromantic. For this poll, I stuck to non-sexual touching because I'm ace and therefore not really the person to make questions about sexual touching. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cassiopeia Posted June 16, 2016 Share Posted June 16, 2016 I absolutely love hugs and cuddling. Kissing is not so straight forward. Kissing anywhere but the mouth is great. On the lips I like short kisses, and french kissing is okay, but but after a while, I'd probably move on to kiss her neck or start biting her lip or something. It just gets really boring after a while. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
omitef Posted June 16, 2016 Share Posted June 16, 2016 I'm weird because I'm okay with literally everything except hugs. They are physically weird. 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zema Posted June 16, 2016 Share Posted June 16, 2016 I feel awkward when I hug my own grandmother. That's all I really need to say on this matter. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brsajo Posted June 16, 2016 Share Posted June 16, 2016 I've always thought of cuddling as like an upgrade or more intimate version of hugs, so I'm surprised to see that more people are okay with cuddles than hugs! 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
<div id="broccoli"></div> Posted June 16, 2016 Share Posted June 16, 2016 As a general rule I've never liked being touched, and if someone touches me without me knowing beforehand it can sometimes be really horrible (my skin will crawl and sometimes i might cry). Every now and then though i just need a hug - i usually only hug my mother bc most people are terrifying rip even though when i 'hug' someone i usually just go up to them and sort of put my head on their shoulder. it's a hug in my mind I also like the idea of cuddling but I don't think I could actually handle it 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Saaaro Posted June 16, 2016 Share Posted June 16, 2016 I love hugs, they're amazing. Fortunately most my friends agree. Cuddling I'm iffy on. I don't mind cuddling for a bit, but certainly not for a long time. This is more a physical comfort thing that a touch thing. Kissing is complicated. I like quick kisses, on the lips or otherwise (preferably otherwise?) but snogging (aka making out/prolonged kissing sessions) holds very little appeal for me. One of my exes was super into snogging for long periods of time and it was just so boring. Like ok, we've made out, can we stop, I want to breathe, get out of my face. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Natkat Posted June 16, 2016 Share Posted June 16, 2016 I'm a pretty touchy person even though sometimes I don't see the point in certain touch. Like I am fine with holding hands but it's not the greatest thing ever. And I'm okay with kissing but if it's too much at once then I get bored. however Since a lot of touch are tought as romantic I sometimes get in trouble or I feel insecure. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Louis On Air Posted June 16, 2016 Share Posted June 16, 2016 1. Yes 2. No 3. Yes I follow the trend Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlexisS Posted June 16, 2016 Share Posted June 16, 2016 Okay, so I do feel sensual attractions, but only in very specific occasions (so it rarely happens). For example, if I have a night out at a club with friends of mine, and ready to enjoy the atmostphere and dancing, I'm inclined to touch and be touched(incl. kissing and hugs) I don't know why, but partying atmosphere usually feels less intimate and personal to me, so I feel more comfortable when it comes to touching as long as it's guaranteed to last for a short amount of time. But then, if the touch gets too heavy, or if someone wants a private talk with me, or wants to carry it on somewhere else, it's a big no-no. If someone insists, I'll call it a night straight off and go home by myself. So in my case, touch is a-okay if situation allows and I'm ready to enjoy the exciting atmosphere. But I just don't like when it lasts too long(like long makeout session ugh please no), or in any private and secluded area like dark alley, rooms, hotels, home, etc. When the situation becomes romantic or private or sexual, sensual touches hold no appeal to me anymore. To sum it up, I like hugs and kisses in some (few) occasions, but cuddles are probably never going to be my thing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aihpen Posted June 16, 2016 Share Posted June 16, 2016 I don't like kisses or cuddling, but hugs can be good depending on the situation, who I'm hugging, how expected the hug is etc. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
owl Posted June 16, 2016 Share Posted June 16, 2016 Don't like kisses. Well, I've never really kissed anyone other than family but I can't imagine liking it.. Hugs or cuddling is sometimes. Sometimes I'll really want to hug or cuddle someone, some days I absolutely hate it and don't want anyone near me. Generally, I'm alright with them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snao Posted June 17, 2016 Share Posted June 17, 2016 I like cuddling with dogs and very, very few people. Hugs are fine. Kissing can be fun sometimes, usually when I'm drunk. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tal Shi'ar Posted June 17, 2016 Share Posted June 17, 2016 I usually don't care for being touchy feely. Handshakes I'm ok with with whoever. Hugs I'm actually sorta selective over. Most of the hugs I could have gone without. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Midnightrune Posted June 17, 2016 Share Posted June 17, 2016 Detest people touching me. I don't even know why, but I do. Only my closest friends are allowed to hug me, and sometimes I cuddle (sort of) with them when everything seems to be falling apart because it's nice that I can hold on to something/one when shit is going down. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sooty Owl Posted June 17, 2016 Share Posted June 17, 2016 I'm okay with all of these, but just like Saaaro I'm not really big on snogging and I'm not very sure why, it's just that after a few minutes I feel like I need to pull away for some reason and not knowing why is quite bothering me. I'm a lot more into hugs than kisses though. I love hugs. Gimme all the hugs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark Posted June 17, 2016 Share Posted June 17, 2016 I appear to be the exception here. Really like all of these. Often struggle with finding people who want to do them with me. Especially kissing, seems that the vast majority of people will only kiss (potential) romantic partners. I have had to remind people, on more than one occasion, that they should not assume that I am ace because I am aro or assume that I am haphephobic because I am on the autistic spectrum and aro. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hey you in the corner Posted June 17, 2016 Share Posted June 17, 2016 I like hugs, kissing is gross, and the only cuddling I enjoy is with my cat. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deltaX Posted June 17, 2016 Share Posted June 17, 2016 I love hugs and cuddling, but only if it's completely platonic. Kisses are a huge no for me no matter who is trying to give the kiss. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kojote Posted June 17, 2016 Share Posted June 17, 2016 It actually depends everywhere. I like cuddling, because to cuddle with someone already implies closeness/that you feel comfortable with the person in some way. Hugging is super nice, too, with said person, but I do find the concept to be weird among strangers (as a greeting?) I sure do love to hug(tackle/punce) with friends though, but if someone hugs me out of the blue, I'll tense up. Kissing is more complicated and loaded. I do like short kisses, but again, only with people I already like as a person to begin with (or sometimes cute girls). I feel bored with elongated french kissing though. It just feels mechanical and somewhat yucky to me. It's just, I've become wary of all these things by time, because when I still perceived them as harmless, others felt they send "mixed signals". Avoiding "mixed signals" has become way more of a huge deal to me than any kind of comfort I might get out of any of these touches, which is why for now, until I'm completely relaxed and trust the person, I'll probably tense up at anything anyway xD" 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vega Posted June 17, 2016 Share Posted June 17, 2016 It depends so much on the person. If it's with a friend, sure. But if there's the slightest hint that the person may have an interest in me I want to run away as fast as possible. And yes to the "mixed signals." I'm so careful, especially around guys, that I don't give off the slightest "flirty" signals. Kissing is a bit weird. I've tried making out, once, just out of curiosity. It wasn't that great. So I guess I generally don't like them but in the right situation I could. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spectrul Sânge Rece Posted June 17, 2016 Share Posted June 17, 2016 Im very picky with touch, I have to have some sort of connection first or else it's just irritating. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cattea Posted June 17, 2016 Share Posted June 17, 2016 If it's with romantic intent, then no to all. Platonically I'm mostly okay with all 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rising Sun Posted June 17, 2016 Share Posted June 17, 2016 Well... This is a very complex question for me, because I'm both hypersensitive to touch (so I'm sort of touch averse) and very sensual. In an intimate context, I crave cuddles and hugs but I need to overcome very painful sensory overload, so I actually need to be spiritually extremely intimate with someone in order to not actively avoid touch and to focus on the enjoyable aspect. I'm a bit repulsed by kisses in general because I'm somewhat germaphobic, but I can enjoy them if my partner is a good kisser. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PerformativeSurprise Posted June 17, 2016 Share Posted June 17, 2016 I'm not touch averse, but I'm not a physically affectionate person either. I like hugs most of the time, but that's about it. I tend to get annoyed if people are too physically affectionate with me; it makes me a little uncomfortable. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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