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Sooty Owl

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Everything posted by Sooty Owl

  1. I think if you don't feel romantic attraction then congrats, you're aro. Even if you date people, even if you get into relationships with romantic people, you're still aro because you still don't feel romantic attraction, that's all.
  2. I think i've found a QP? My squish asked me if I wanted to upgrade our relationship, I told him I was aro, he told me he kind of guessed it and that he never expected me to fall in love with him and that he doesn't want a romantic relationship but rather just enjoys my company a lot? I'm screaming???? Oh my god he still has to talk to his girlfriend about this but oh my god is this really happening? I'm happy? Holly shit

    1. ArodynamicallyFavored



      2)YAY!! if you're happy

      3) that sounds as uncomfortable & random af

      4) But congrats if #2 is true :)

    2. Mark


      Sounds good.
      About the only possible issue is the idea of "upgrading" relationships...

    3. Sooty Owl

      Sooty Owl

      Well, he didn't really say that exactly, it was more along the lines of "do you want our relationship to go a step further?" Plus tbh I do see a QPR as more than a friendship, or atleast the friendship we had until that point.

  3. I was wondering what you guys really can't seem to understand about romance. I guess we all have difficulty understanding the basic stuff like what crushes feel like and whatnot, but what about everything that encompasses this whole romantic culture we live in? I, for one, can't possibly understand how a lot of people seem to find extreme jealousy romantic. I just saw a post where a guy said that if a girl wanted to marry him she'd have to cut off all contact with other boys and everyone was gushing about how the fact that he was so protective was romantic and cute... No it's not, it's abusive. And I'm not saying everything romantic peeps are like that (thank god!) but I see that a lot and it's driving me crazy. Something else I don't understand is this rule of "you can't date someone that your friend used to date". I mean, if you're friends, it means you have stuff in common, so it's not that surprising that you'd fall for the same person, and I don't see why you're expected to never date one of your friend's exes AFTER they broke up. If you caused the breakup or if you openly thirsted after the person, then I can understand, but if the breakup had already happened and there's no way they're ever getting back together, then where's the issue? Why have I witnessed multiple persons cut off one of their friends because that friend started dating one of their exes??? This makes no damn sense.
  4. I've actually gotten into a romantic relationships exactly so I could get perks, mainly for the sensual aspect because I'm a very sensual person but I couldn't just kiss my friends or cuddle with them, so I just got into a romo relationship which ended after 2 months because the guy couldn't handle the fact that I was aro. I'm not saying I'll never to it again, but... next time I'll just tell them I'm aro a lot sooner to avoid such situations where I feel bad because I'm hiding such a big thing from someone I'm supposed to trust completely.
  5. @AlexisS it's okay, in the end I'm better off alone than with someone who can't date aro people ^^
  6. Just joined in! I'm Tenebricosa and have almost the same icon as here (It's also a sooty owl but a different one)
  7. Damn, I guess now I have to change my username to Teddy Bear I think it's a group of people that are racing on the snow.
  8. The first person i've ever had a relationship with broke up with me yesterday because I was aro and he couldn't handle it. It had its good points, especially all the kissing/holding hands/stuff because I'm a very sensual person, but thinking that he was in love with me and ESPECIALLY thinking that he thought I was in love with him made me so anxious. I liked being with him every few days when we were with friends, but once we were alone I'd start to feel kind of uncomfortable after a few hours and wish for nothing but going home. I debated for a long while over whether I should tell him I'm aro or not, and then yesterday I just thought "enough". I needed to make things clear and I hoped he would understand and we would just set new boundaries and everything would be fine. And yeah, even if he did react with "oh but can't your aromanticism change over-time?" (which is even worse to hear when you know he's ace), he was pretty accepting of it and said there was nothing wrong with me. But then he just says "I can't be with someone who doesn't love me the way I love them". And that's how it ends, with me now feeling really bad since yesterday not really because of the breakup in itself, but because I got reminded that being aro is regarded as an anomaly and I'll never be able to return the love that anyone will give me.
  9. You know, it really hurts when you tell an alloromantic ace person about your aromanticism and their first reaction is "but can't it change over time?"

    1. Dodgypotato


      A lot of romantic aces seem to want to erase aromanticism from existence. :/:stopapo:

    2. Ugh...


      The reaction which affected me the most is when one of my friend answered "aw, that's so sad!"

    3. omitef


      I can relate. I think I've only had one person who's been 100% chill and didn't have a negative reaction. And the chill person was a queer allo guy.

  10. "A series of unfortunate squishes" will be the title of my autobiography

    1. ArodynamicallyFavored


      if these events are as bad as the movie..... You poor squishing thing you.

    2. omitef


      Are you me

  11. tfw at the same moment your boyfriend comes out as ace and your best friend figures out you have a squish on her boyfriend and you feel completely submerged

  12. Hey, another pansexual aro B) Welcome!
  13. I'm okay with all of these, but just like Saaaro I'm not really big on snogging and I'm not very sure why, it's just that after a few minutes I feel like I need to pull away for some reason and not knowing why is quite bothering me. I'm a lot more into hugs than kisses though. I love hugs. Gimme all the hugs.
  14. Welcome to Arocalypse! Hope you'll enjoy your stay
  15. Welcome to Arocalypse!
  16. Native french speaker here, i've been learning english for about 10 years at school but I learned most of it by myself. Started learning Dutch 4 years ago but stopped when I got into uni. I haven't praticed in almost a year and I feel like I've lost most of my knowledge.
  17. Guernica by Brand New will always mean a lot to me. My dad passed away from cancer 2 years ago after over a year of fighting it and no song encapsulates better what it feels like to live with someone who's fighting a disease, and feeling like you're completely powerless in front of their suffering. "If I could I would shrink myself and sink through your skin to your blood cells and remove whatever makes you hurt, but I am too weak to be your cure" is probably the one phrase I would use to describe this feeling. I've started actively listening to Mumford & Sons these past few weeks and I really love their music. It's so calming and relaxing... The only downside to them is that they have a lot of breakup songs and I really don't like those, but eh, noone's perfect. I found out about After the Storm a few years ago though and it's really weird how the meaning of that song changed for me. I discovered this song back in a period when I was very lonely and it used to make me almost cry because of how sad I found it, because I would think "no, that time the song is talking about will never come". But listening to it now makes me smile because actually yeah, that time came, they were right, and this songs reminds me of all the fighting it took to get here and all the things I've been through but survived. Awake my Soul is definitely one of the best songs they made too tbh, I love it, but I can't say it has a special meaning to me.
  18. Welcome to Arocalypse, enjoy your stay!
  19. Welcome to arocalypse!! I've got a couple of succulents myself, they're such beautiful plants and easy to maintain! And somehow I've managed to make mine flower a lot even though I'm shitty at keeping a reasonable watering schedule.
  20. I'm getting real sick and tired of people turning this catastrophe into another excuse to bring up the ace/aro discourse. Everywhere I look there's just hate. When people aren't wrongly hating on Islam, they're hating on aros and aces and pushing them even further out than they already were. If there's one person you should feel hate towards, it's the shooter, not people who had NOTHING to do with the shooting. Now this forum is made for aros of all sexual orientations and gender identities and you have absolutely no right to tell who can participate in this thread and who can't, and if you're not happy with this, the door's right there.
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