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three hundred and eleven !

I've only recently hit legal drinking age and while i hate the idea of losing what tiny control i do have over my 'self', and the thought of addiction lingers always, i have had a couple of tiny sips when offered by my parents, mostly out of curiosity. the first was a cheap nasty wine and it was the most disgusting thing ever, and the second was maker's mark (whiskey i think? idk) in coke. it was... tolerable, but gross. beer smells freakin horrid and i would not even take a sip if someone offered so while i would like to know how to hold my liquor and what things should taste like, i don't want to drink ever. ever.

As a general rule I've never liked being touched, and if someone touches me without me knowing beforehand it can sometimes be really horrible (my skin will crawl and sometimes i might cry). Every now and then though i just need a hug - i usually only hug my mother bc most people are terrifying rip even though when i 'hug' someone i usually just go up to them and sort of put my head on their shoulder. it's a hug in my mind I also like the idea of cuddling but I don't think I could actually handle it