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About Saaaro

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    New Zealand

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  1. I would actually be totally ok with this with the right person, just like buying a house with someone. It's a massive commitment obviously but commitment isn't what I'm trying to avoid. It's committed close proximity? Or something like that...
  2. A few have been mentioned already, but I listen to (in order of preference): How'd it Go Hello Internet Cortex Dear Hank and John No such thing as a fish
  3. TL;DR: mostly incoherent rambling. Also same. I get pretty frustrated with comments from ace-aros, even on here, that talk about aromanticism and asexuality like they're the same thing. There's do much in the aro experience and advice threads that doesn't apply to arosexuals at all. Like no, I can't just avoid people/relationships entirely and still be happy. I'm super privileged in my close friends, I've been able to come out to most of them in a pretty low key way. Just discussing what aromanticism means to me and what it is I think I want from relationships, which is something we've always talked about with each other anyway. But I've got no idea how to come out to my wider community, I haven't even talked to my parents. I just don't like the idea of coming out being a big deal and prefer it to be a non event, just work it into conversation as if it's perfectly normal (because spoiler alert, it is). I guess that's mostly not liking the assumption that everyone is cis, het, het until otherwise declared. Personally I don't currently want "casual sex" (not that I think it's a bad thing by any means). I want (and possibly have?!) a non romantic relationship. Friendship, companionship, sensual and sexual contact without any romantic ties. For a while this had me wondering if I was really aromantic. Because does this romance thing that I'm not wanting actually look like. But after talking to a friend I realised it was the 2 becoming one I don't want. The sharing the same bed forever and having kids together and slowly becoming half of a pair. I could consider buying a house with a friend/partner, but never sharing a room (I tried it for 3 months and it was a nightmare).
  4. 15. Torn between "this looks like mumbo jumbo/an attempt to sell books" and "this is totally me".
  5. Lumping people together is pretty much impossible to avoid. Heck, I did it just then when I said "people". I tend to use allo, just because that's the word I'm used to, though I'm happy to change. Not a fan of non-aro/non-ace though. It's kind of a double negative, and is defining people by what they're not which isn't great. Also not a fan of romantic/sexual for the reasons others have mentioned above. I'd be hugely uncomfortable being called a "sexual person", but I'm totally ok with allosexual.
  6. I'm not a fan of this. It might make sense for aro aces, but there's no place for aro allosexuals or alloro aces as it lumps sexual and romantic attraction together as passion.
  7. I'll take hot over cold every time. Cold makes me feel really sluggish and unable to function. Especially hate trying to type while cold.
  8. We've already got a lot of threads with resources for trying to understand the experience of being on the aromantic spectrum. This thread is for things that/ways to explain to other people what being aromantic means. AKA, links to send people when you tell them you're aro and they say "huh?".
  9. This thread is reminding me a lot of this article on Wait But Why. I think most alloro people would call pretty much anyone on the mountain a friend, but aros tend to reserve that for people near the top.
  10. I use that, but you've got to go into the subforum to do it. All the other subforums (that I actually read) you can mark as read from the front page.
  11. I give you :yarrpapo: my 3 minute paint mashup of :arrpapo: and :piratepapo:
  12. I could see chest touching and french kissing as either, depending on the context, but I really like your description of where the attraction comes from. Sexual attraction isn't just a scaled up version of sensual. It very much comes from a different place.
  13. Currently the Arcade subforum is nested under Off Topic, which means if there's unread messages in Arcade (but not OT) the front page shows OT as having unread stuff. AFAIK there's not really any reason Arcade needs to be nested so maybe it could just be it's own thing?
  14. The thing that's made the most sense to me so far is this image: Spoiler but like you I still find it really hard to find the line between sexual and sensual attraction, sometimes I'm not even sure I can tell those from platonic attraction. (Rant about "platonic attraction" in the spoiler) Spoiler So I feel weird calling it "platonic attraction" because what if it's not platonic? I have what I'd call a squish on someone at the moment, and I'm super sure that I just want them in my life, and to talk to them, and see them, and be there for them. Which as far as I can tell is what most would call platonic attraction, but then I'm sort of thinking that I'm also sensually/sexually attracted to them too, and it seems contradictory to have platonic and sexual attraction to the same person. So there should totally be another word for this (I'm leaning toward companionate attraction, like "companionate relationship" instead of "QPR"). As per the spoiler I have a squish thing at the moment and I'm fairly sure I'm also feeling sensual/sexual attraction, but I'm not really sure which one/s it is. I know I want to spend time with them, and netflix and chill sounds really nice, but so does "netflix and chill". I can't remember ever feeling sexual or sensual attraction without at least a bit of the other, but I probably have felt them at different strengths with different people. Overall I like the split attraction idea. I've found it good for explaining aromanticism, and it's a useful tool to think about feelings, even if those feelings aren't super discrete. I see it kind of like the four element personality profiles (also most other personality profiles); it's really useful as a tool as long as you don't expect people to fit perfectly into boxes and just treat is as a guideline.
  15. I was recently back home visiting my parents, my sister and her long term partner were also there, and my Mum brought up becoming a grandparent. My sister and I were both super quick to shut her down (we've both long maintained/partially joked we'd be better piblings than parents. I'm aro and mostly uninterested, she doesn't want biological kids with her current partner because their genetics both suck). My mum pushed the issue quite a bit, basically saying she was expecting to have grandkids at some point, and would be surprised if either of us (let alone both of us) didn't have kids. I ended up telling her I was about 90% sure I won't ever have kids and then we changed the subject.
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