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Do You Understand Relationship Chemistry?


RedNeko
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I'm always hearing people talking about things like 'I ship these characters because of the chemistry', 'my friend and their new partner have much better chemistry than the last partner', 'those two have great chemistry, they should get together'. Hell, there's a Teen Choice Award for chemistry. I never understand what they're going on about, so I was wondering what other aro-spec people thought of the concept?

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I am not entirely sure. Sometimes I ship characters (usually platonically but occasionally romantic) because they seem to be having a good time together. IRL I tend to judge relationships on the same thing. Is that chemistry? Some sort of watered down chemistry? I'm gonna be watching the rest of this thread because this is still a mystery.

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As far as I know, relationship chemistry is when the characters have personalities that would mesh well together in the context of a relationship. Like someone who's sarcastic and loves snarking people would probably enjoy being with someone who frequently snarks others. 

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23 minutes ago, omitef said:

As far as I know, relationship chemistry is when the characters have personalities that would mesh well together in the context of a relationship. Like someone who's sarcastic and loves snarking people would probably enjoy being with someone who frequently snarks others. 

I feel like that's true for friendships as well though? I don't know whether chemistry is specific to romantic attraction or not?

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@breaddd Yup! Relationship chemistry is also a huge part of friendship, which is why I always give allos the side-eye when they automatically ship people with good chemistry romantically instead of platonically. 

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My mom constantly refers to this "chemistry" thing and I get so confused. She makes it sound like this magical aura surrounding them that says that they would make a good couple. I don't get it. I don't always think it's their personality though, at least not when she refers to it, because a lot of the time they seem quite different or not specifically compatible that way.

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From what I've gathered, I think it's a mixture of compatibility and tension.  People use the term "sexual tension" often enough, but I think there might be a sort of "romantic tension" as well.  It's this sort of palpable...energy, I suppose, between people that I've often heard described as "electric" or "charged."  I think it's this element that makes it uniquely romantic as opposed to platonic.

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I've never had any clue what they meant. I kind of thought just getting along well but chemistry seemed such an unnecessary word in that case.. And then when people actually use it in context, I just don't get what they could be referring to... I always went along with it and pretended I knew what they were talking about.

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In my language chemistry is the connection between two people that draw them together as friend or apart as enemies. Like when you meet someone for the first time and you know by the first second you like and think there funny and smart and have so much to talk about you have good chemistry.

 

or maybe you don't like them at all and think they'd seams snobbish, boring, or stupid and you have bad chemistry.

 

In short it's just how much you get along with someone naturally. 

 

in English however it seams chemistry is only used for relationships?

 

 

 

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1 hour ago, Natkat said:

In English however it seams chemistry is only used for relationships?

 

I wouldn't say it's only used for relationships, but more that it has a somewhat different meaning when it comes to relationships.  There's a different connotation when the word "chemistry" is used in regards to the romantic connection between two people.

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""""chemistry"""" doesn't make any sense to me. it's so nebulous! is it compatibility? is it tension? is it similarity of personalities? is it actually just two people looking really hot together and you want them to make out sexily? who knows! (i dont)

 

there's a reason i got a 5 on the ap bio test but i failed basic chem :P 

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On 16/5/2016 at 5:41 PM, breaddd said:

I feel like that's true for friendships as well though? I don't know whether chemistry is specific to romantic attraction or not?

 

It isn't specific. Platonic relationships are based on chemistry too. Good chemistry, bad chemistry, it's the same as when your instinct tells you "I feel so comfortable around them" or "I can't stand them" without you knowing why, and they feel the same around you, so it's when you're both on the same page emotionally.

Or in friendships, it can be when you want to go to a bar and your friend wants it too, or you feel down and your friend sees it immediately because they understand you so well, or you both like the same movies for the same reasons, and you find the same jokes funny.

You even can share purely intellectual chemistry with someone. One day, I met somebody who is very much like me intellectually, you should have seen us talking passionately about AI all day long, we naturally completed each other's arguments and arrived both to the same conclusions. It was great.

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I only understand the scientific chemistry. I honestly have no idea how relationship chemistry works. This may be in part due to being aro, but it could also be because I'm socially inept.

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8 hours ago, Louis Hypo said:

Love is nothing but a chemical reaction that makes animals want to mate. Romance is the human way of selectively breeding by finding worthy partners. That's all we lack, a poofing science experiment, and nothing more.

 

But @Louis Hypo, if that's the case, why do alloromantic asexual people exist?

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Chemistry is something I recognize but can't describe. Which is funny, because I guess that's kinda like what describing romantic/sexual attraction to an aro/ace person is like. LOL

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On 17 May 2016 at 9:59 PM, Louis Hypo said:

Love is nothing but a chemical reaction that makes animals want to mate. Romance is the human way of selectively breeding by finding worthy partners. That's all we lack, a poofing science experiment, and nothing more.

I just realised I sound a lot like Rick from Rick and Morty with that sentence

 

On 18 May 2016 at 6:40 AM, omitef said:

"shaggery" is my new favourite word

And a worthy word it is

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  • 4 months later...

I think I understand relationship chemistry. To me it's simply how good the actors are at convincing you that these two characters wants to be friends/sexual/romantic with each other. Which is most likely easier if the actors want to in real life. Some actors can have really good friendship chemistry and some really good sexual one. I don't know about romance because I usually just judge it based on sex and friend chemistry there too, though I'm sure there really is more to it.

 

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