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Everything posted by aussiekirkland

  1. I haven't been travelling but I imagine when someone describes a "romantic city" it's because the scenery is very beautiful. That's the vibe I get from some of these European cities is that they're very beautiful in comparison to your average bustling modern city. I think what makes these cities beautiful is their historic roots (not taking down old buildings) and their touch with nature.
  2. I would have to agree. The only time I've ever been comfortable with sex was with someone I developed a deep friendship with first
  3. I basically used that line when breaking up with an ex, though I backed it up with an explanation (that I wasn't attracted to him and it 100% wasn't his fault) and how much I appreciated his companionship
  4. Then you should watch the anime! It's Tanaka-kun Wa Itsumo Kedaruge (Tanaka-kun Is Always Listless) It's a slice of life about the laziest guy ever
  5. I'm much the same. For most of my life I never got super close with anyone I met because people thought I was too weird (despite often trying to tone down the weirdness!) and I thought they were too normal. I didn't find myself compatible with anyone, friend wise; until year 12 and since then I've made a few real friends.
  6. This quiz made more sense as I was able to approach it differently for each person. I still got preoccupied as my overall result, but it shows that my relationship with my mum is significantly healthier than my relationships with others. Name Anxiety Score Avoidance Score your mother or mother-like figure 1.33 1.50 your father or father-like figure 0.00 0.00 your romantic partner 4.00 2.50 your best friend 3.33 3.33
  7. From observation I would say I'm the dismissive-avoidant type, however I don't see how being independent is the same as being avoidant? So I did the quiz and According to your questionnaire responses, your attachment-related anxiety score is 4.22, on a scale ranging from 1 (low anxiety) to 7 (high anxiety). Your attachment-related avoidance score is 3.17, on a scale ranging from 1 (low avoidance) to 7 (high avoidance). Also preoccupied people tend to have highly conflictual relationships. Although they are comfortable expressing their emotions, preoccupied individuals often experience a lot of negative emotions I would definitely agree with what this says in relation to my current relationship.
  8. @omitef I'm actually having consistent sexual relations with someone I'm not officially dating, and I see what you mean. We've actually been keeping it a secret from our friends so it's been weird going on a trip with everyone this week
  9. That was me the other day. I hadn't been on aven for months until I heard about that post. I guess drama is a guilty pleasure for me 😂 But really thats me with tumblr
  10. I was going to do the questionnaire but I'm honestly not sure how to answer it, since I was aro ace for a long time and recently developed an attraction/relationshippy thing with a girl. From what I can tell, most of these depend on your cultural context. If you live in a highly homophobic country you're going to get a far different result from someone who lives in say, the United States. Not only that, but the idea of straight passing privilege is often used as an excuse to be biphobic as well as discriminatory to a lot of other lesser known queer people, so I kind of hate it. I agree that it shouldn't be applied to aros, aces or anyone else who isn't actually straight.
  11. That is exactly what that thread felt like, punching down rather than punching up. It was pretty mean spirited, but a lot of aros invaded the thread with some lighthearted self deprecating jokes. Here's the thread in question
  12. This is what I wrote in response to the Annoying Things That Aromantics Say thread -- "Romantic attraction makes some people irrational and stupid, and they forget how to take care of themselves." - Me (mostly about my sister) "Romance culture is toxic and restrictive." - also me Wow I'm such an annoying aromantic haha
  13. Actually it was recent, just over a year ago. That's why I couldn't believe it. My school was incredibly backwards though, given it was a religious private school.
  14. I'm not sure whether this is the right place to put this thread but what are your opinions of this (rather long) post? Despite not having read the comic myself, posts like this really rub me the wrong way. It just seems like another romantic ace completely missing the point and yet again erasing aromantics altogether. Not to mention they make het aces out like the victims??? What are your thoughts?
  15. Prom/ball culture is a huuuuge thing in Australia. It's so gross and gendered! Sure a girl could wear a suit, if they wanted to be ridiculed. Not to mention of my friends was a lesbian and wasn't allowed to take a girl, so she took a gay guy so they could share the pain of homophobic private schools together. I couldn't even believe that rule existed, it was absolutely disgusting. School balls are basically the final ritual for conforming to cis/heteronormative culture and hardly anyone seemed to be bothered by it???
  16. The same thing happened when I was 9, and the girls in the locker room were nagging me about when I was getting a bra (same shit, different school). Stuff like that was super isolating because I was an early bloomer. In my experience puberty is used as an excuse to sexualise and feminise young girls which I personally think is really gross. It certainly felt wrong to me, all the pressure to "be a woman" and "be desirable to guys".
  17. As someone who was bullied into shaving at only 11 I second this. I spent years hating my body for doing what it's supposed to do and only in recent years have I managed to unlearn it.
  18. I used to absolutely hate female beauty standards, but now I just don't care anymore. The other week we were talking about shaving and I showed a mutual friend my armpit hair and she was pretty bothered by it, which I took great amusement out of later. I find that not adhering to almost any feminine beauty standards makes it easier to narrow down my pool of friends and not getting too close to people who are clearly sexist and/or homophobic.
  19. I'm also guilty of this. I find the interactions in my group rather entertaining 😂 There are a number of people I prefer to spend one on one time with because we can have really meaningful conversations, but the perfect number for me is 3 because I'm always heard but don't always have to talk
  20. I always get squishes on talented musicians 😂
  21. As someone who still lives at home I totally get this
  22. Hopefully not, because you only insulted someone who isn't on Arocalypse.
  23. Something I don't understand about romance: why shows like the bachelor and married at first sight are so popular when they lack any sort of substance, yet shows with fantasy and action and intricate plots get swept to the side by the majority.
  24. The closest thing to that is intuition, which gets very complicated when you're acting on assumptions. Unfortunately the only real way to simulate (haha SIMulate) that is to just ask people and have open communication. I personally suck at that, it's so awkward.
  25. Unfortunately I've seen a lot of this too. It puts a bit of a dampener on community forums and such, especially when they're clinging to a word they relate very little to, so it's hard to share common experiences with some people. But the thing I think is great about these identities is that people can learn about different ways of doing things. Discovering that you don't have to date, or that you don't have to conform to gender roles can be quite liberating, regardless of if that person chose to identify as trans or aromantic. As long as you're not boxing yourself, it can free you up to be yourself with fewer societal constraints (this is of course given that you're in a safe environment to do so). I think this is a really healthy way of approaching sexuality and it took me a while to realise myself. The word doesn't matter if you're learning about yourself through time and experience. I also have the plus of being in the aromantic community here on Arocalypse so I'm not too worried about it anyway.
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