Jump to content


  • Posts

  • Joined

  • Last visited

  • Days Won


Everything posted by Dodecahedron314

  1. This reminds me a lot of a topic that's been coming up frequently on the Discord lately--overall, expressing one's emotions in any nonstandard way, or expressing nonstandard emotions in general, is considered forbidden by society, and I think that's the root of a lot of problems in a lot of areas. It's like you're only allowed to talk about your emotions if you're a 14-year-old on Tumblr who listens to Evanescence, or a cis woman on her period who's crying into a box of chocolate--and both of those stereotypes are ridiculed to within an inch of their lives specifically because "haha, look at those angsty people who can't control their emotions". If we as a society just allowed people to own their emotions (mostly negative ones, because society already expects everyone to be happy all the time, but also just being allowed to be happy about things that society doesn't consider worthy of specific happiness), and had a better idea of how to respond constructively when someone airs them, the root of a lot of systemic problems could be weakened to the point where those problems would be significantly more tractable.
  2. Finally got a chance to read something other than a webcomic for pleasure, and so I just finished Foundation (by Isaac Asimov) a couple of days ago--I've been lugging around the really nice omnibus of all three volumes of the trilogy on every trip I've taken since I got it, and only just now got around to reading it.
  3. I sometimes get this when I'm really far away from the friend in question--because of how my life works, generally I'm at least 1000 miles away from at least one of the 3 people I'm closest to for months at a time, so I really miss them and tend to think about them a lot to help with it.
  4. To be perfectly honest here, I'm inclined to side with you--this person doesn't sound like much of a friend at all if he's going to completely disrespect your boundaries like that, and if he can't own up to the fact that he was the one in the wrong, it might be time to rethink having him in your life because it's clear that he hasn't learned from his mistakes, and if he does have a crush on you he might try this sort of thing again. This might just be a bridge that you have to burn, so to speak. And if he tells everyone about it--what of it? You already appear to have a pretty stable friend group, aside from the highly questionable person who started all this, and sometimes it's worth compromising your social status in order to not have to deal with things like this. And it being high school, it's entirely probable that even if he does go shouting it from the rooftops, maybe it'll be the gossip of the week for a while, but then people will forget about it and move on to whatever the next piece of fresh meat is. (However, I also have zero tolerance for people who cause BS in my life, and I'm just going off of how I would react to this situation, so I certainly acknowledge that you might be more comfortable going about it differently. This is just my $0.02.)
  5. To be perfectly honest, if I weren't romance-repulsed, dating someone for the express purpose of stealing their nice clothes is totally something I could see myself doing. I just have a weakness for really nice jackets, okay?
  6. I mean, both situations involve people being equally shortsighted, but mononormativity (...is that the word?) is I think somewhat less ingrained in most of society as a whole than amatonormativity. I don't think it's a stretch to say that more people are aware of the concept of open relationships and such than of aromanticism (and certainly, it's probably the case that the poly community is bigger and more well-known than the aro community), so it would possibly be more likely that they would call mononormativity out as BS than amatonormativity.
  7. I don't remember any romance in Repo!: The Genetic Opera. Definitely not everyone's cup of tea, and TW for blood and gore and things, but it's one heck of an experience, to be sure.
  8. Yeah, I have seen some Things Go Down on AVEN when mods were away for even a few days. To the point where I had to tell people they were out of line, and I'm nowhere near being a mod there. There are certain subforums that, while in and of themselves they're perfectly wonderful and supportive places when you talk to the regulars, also tend to attract way more than their fair share of trolls sometimes (*cough*Gender Discussions*cough*). Which is a shame, because those are often the places where people go to get away from things like that.
  9. I just found a song that perfectly describes having an intense squish on someone. Enjoy:
  10. Not really any particular gender trends for me, but I do know that somehow, basically nobody whom I wind up being really, really close friends with is cis (my QPP is a trans guy and my other two best friends are a trans girl and a genderfluid person).
  11. *bursts into thread* DID SOMEONE SAY PODCASTS?!? Because do I have a podcast list for you. In no particular order: Welcome To Night Vale: Duh. It's the podcast gateway drug, and everyone knows it. I like to describe it as "HP Lovecraft plus Monty Python times Salvador Dali to the power of Nietzsche, and also gay". Just trust me on this, it is 100% worth the hype. Wolf 359: It starts off as your run-of-the-mill sci-fi story, and then...Things start Happening. There are some truly fantastic character moments sprinkled throughout, and plenty of "OH MY GOD THEY DID NOT JUST DO THAT" to go around. The Penumbra Podcast: You need to know exactly three words going into this, and those three words are "gay space noir". You're welcome. There's also a pretty solid fantasy storyline running in a totally different universe, if that's more your speed. Both of these continuities, and a lot of the one-off episodes that crop up occasionally in season 1, are absolutely magnificent at playing up tropes and then subverting them in the most glorious way possible. Also, did I mention canon nonbinary protagonist?!? Because canon. nonbinary. protagonist. All right, I'll shut up about this podcast now, or else we'll be here all day. The Black Tapes/Tanis/Rabbits: I lump all of these into one entry because they're made by the same people, they're all in a very similar format, and if you're into one, you'll probably be into the others as well. Nominally, The Black Tapes is what happens when a journalist investigates a "research institute" offering a cash prize for proof of the paranormal, Tanis is basically the audio equivalent of falling down a really weird 3am Wikipedia rabbit hole involving global conspiracies and mysterious primeval eldritch forces, and Rabbits starts with the narrator searching for her missing friend by delving into the weird game she was looking into when she disappeared--but for all of these, that's only the beginning of a whole mess of intricately interwoven plot threads that come together in the most unexpected, yet satisfying ways. Alice Isn't Dead: You know, the podcast made by the Welcome To Night Vale people that isn't Welcome To Night Vale. A trucker goes searching for her missing wife, and gets drawn deeper and deeper into something much bigger than either of them. (Warning: horror/gore in some episodes) Our Fair City: Post-apocalyptic Connecticut with mad science and mole people and steampunk and...insurance companies? It's like if Terry Pratchett and George Orwell were the GMs for a Paranoia campaign. Magnificent biting satire, a heck of a lot of worldbuilding, and wonderfully written characters who handle the absurdity and injustice of the world they live in with...maybe not grace, but definitely aplomb, certainly a lot of wisecracks, and sometimes even downright nobility. The Bright Sessions: "Therapy for the strange and unusual" is the tagline, and it pretty much does what it says on the tin. Also: character development! A plot that starts off simple enough, but gradually snowballs into something huge! Time travel! Actual positive, sensitive treatment of mental health! A canonically ace main character! All good stuff. The Orbiting Human Circus of the Air: Two parts old-timey radio variety show at its finest, one part fairy tale, one part something entirely different but very, very special. It's pretty hard to explain, but just go and listen to it, I promise you won't be disappointed. (This one is also part of the Night Vale Presents network, if that sweetens the deal.) The Strange Case of Starship Iris: Firefly deserved more than one season and a movie, and also more queer characters and sophisticated worldbuilding. Thankfully, we have this podcast--it hits all the right notes that Firefly did, but goes about it in a very different but equally awesome way. And it has not one, but two! trans! characters! *throws confetti* There's not much of this one yet (5 episodes, to be exact), but I'm really excited to see where it goes from here.
  12. I don't read all that much poetry anymore (don't have the time for it, like most other literature, unfortunately--dang you, college), but I never really got into love poetry. I do quite like anti-love poetry, though: Spinster (Sylvia Plath): Now this particular girl During a ceremonious april walk With her latest suitor Found herself, of a sudden, intolerably struck By the birds' irregular babel And the leaves' litter. By this tumult afflicted, she Observed her lover's gestures unbalance the air, His gait stray uneven Through a rank wilderness of fern and flower; She judged petals in disarray, The whole season, sloven. How she longed for winter then! -- Scrupulously austere in its order Of white and black Ice and rock; each sentiment within border, And heart's frosty discipline Exact as a snowflake. But here -- a burgeoning Unruly enough to pitch her five queenly wits Into vulgar motley -- A treason not to be borne; let idiots Reel giddy in bedlam spring: She withdrew neatly. And round her house she set Such a barricade of barb and check Against mutinous weather As no mere insurgent man could hope to break With curse, fist, threat Or love, either.
  13. I've noticed this as well. People have asked me in the past whether it seems as though someone is romantically interested in them, and I'm always at a loss because...seriously? You're asking the aro this question??? I wouldn't know romantic interest if it walked up to me and tried to sell me a vacuum cleaner. On the other hand, I'm also a popular source of advice on how to break up with people, so.
  14. I guess it very much depends on how you approach relationships, because QPRs are very diverse--some are considered by the people to be in them "like dating without the romance", others are considered to be like the dynamic between siblings who aren't related to each other, others are like the kinds of best-friendships that everybody promises they'll have in grade school but few people ever really achieve, still others are like something else entirely. And all of those different kinds of relationship, while still being lumped into the category of QPRs, have radically different implications for what a family structure based on them would look like (e.g. the partners, say, raising a kid together would obviously probably be more likely in the first and last types mentioned than any of the others). Family structures in general are something totally different, though--I studied this a bit last year in my gender and sexuality studies class, and it turns out there are a lot of different ways to define what a "family" really is. There are some cultures with a lot of communal parenting components, where extended families share parenting duties, and so different people who are unrelated by any sort of bond based primarily on attraction might still be considered close family members due to their siblings or parents in such a way that replaces something like, say, relatives-in-law. There are also some places where it's normal for people to contribute in different ways to different households and consider themselves a member of all or none of them, so they might live with one group of people, eat with another, provide financial support to a third, have an attraction-based relationship with someone in one group or none of the groups or no relationship at all, etc., which opens the door to considering what exactly defines a "family"--is only one of these groups this person's family? Are all of them? Are they all different kinds of family, or the same? Why? These are often really nuanced and situational questions, but just interesting to think about.
  15. Definitely Contact, by Carl Sagan. Sci-fi written by Carl Sagan is even better than you would expect it to be just on principle--it's just as magnificently written as his nonfiction, the premise is super interesting from both a scientific and societal standpoint (and especially the perspective of how those two facets interact, which it handles really well), and it basically captures everything that drew me into science in the first place in a really profound way. Just read it--you won't be disappointed. (You will, however, be disappointed if you watch the movie--it writes out half of the plot and 3/4 of the characters, and manages to turn something by Carl freaking Sagan into Just Another Sci-Fi Movie. Don't watch the movie. Just trust me on this.)
  16. If you squint, the romantic subplot in the new Wonder Woman movie is minor enough that it's pretty easy to ignore. It's still there (for like 30 seconds), but it's definitely not as egregious as pretty much any other superhero movie I've seen recently.
  17. I'm with @Momo here, the word makes perfect sense, and it should be clear from context which spelling is meant. I've also noticed that people tend to pronounce it slightly differently between "aromantic" and "a romantic".
  18. My QPP and I semi(?)-seriously resolved to get married in the future for tax benefits and to thumb our noses at the allo establishment today, but because I'm the kind of person who spent way too much time ranting about this in their gender & sexuality studies classes last year, I've been doing some thinking about the whole idea and came upon a sort of internal ideological conflict. On the one hand, there's something very powerful in taking something formerly oppressive or problematic and reclaiming it for one's own validation--a subversion of the system by its own means, using itself to point out the flaws in its own logic and execution. On the other, marriage as a concept is rooted in so many things that are either inapplicable or downright harmful to both the aro community and parts of modern society in general (amatonormativity as codified and exemplified in both culture and legal status, extremely gross heteronormative cisnormative patriarchal gender roles, establishment of inheritance through a recognized system of paternity, monogamy and its attendant normativities, religious exclusionism (and hence a question of the separation of church and state), etc.) that one wonders if it's beyond the point of constructively subverting and reclaiming, and instead just needs to be utterly discarded and overtaken by something entirely different that's not nearly as broken and isn't rooted in the same ossifying structures that caused all these problems with marriage 1.0 in the first place. I'm not looking for personal relationship advice here, I'm just wondering what all y'all's take is on the matter.
  19. The ASAPScience Tumblr knows what's up.
  20. Me at pretty much every music with words ever: "The music is so good...but the lyrics are so alloromantic...what do?" #AroMusicNerdProblems
  21. It makes it seem more like you're certain about your identity, and therefore certain about wanting to do those things seriously so it's not "just a phase". In any case, as an agender person with a bit of genderflux to them, I can relate to a lot of what you're saying, so it's possible that you're on the right track. Of course, one person's experience does not a gender identity make, so that doesn't by any means imply for certain that you are <insert any gender identity here>--only your own experiences can dictate that. You seem to have a pretty good handle on paying attention to what your gender is doing, though--certainly more so than I did at this point in the questioning process--so that's definitely a start. If what you've experienced out of your own sense of gender or lack thereof is doing leads you to go with agender, there you have it! And it's completely possible to be agender and genderfluid/genderflux at the same time, so if you feel like that extra clarification fits, then by all means, whatever you feel describes you best.
  22. My situation is a bit different than yours, but I'll do the best I can. When I brought it up to my QPP, we'd already basically been interacting as though we were in something like a QPR for a few years at that point, and it was sort of just a matter of "hey, there's this thing that basically describes what we already kind of are." "Yep, that sure is a thing." "Is that what we are?" "Sure, why not?" So, I suppose my advice would be more along the lines of timing than methodology--if you wait to bring it up until the point where it's already sort of something that's developed out of your friendship functionally if not formally, it might be easier to get the concept across and see if that's what the two of you want to call it. That's just in my personal experience though, which isn't entirely the same as yours, so other people might have more applicable takes on it.
  23. My mom was convinced I would grow up to be a lesbian for the longest time because of a conversation we had when I was about 6 or 7, in which I asked if girls could marry other girls. (Her response was "Hmm, I don't know...maybe in California???") It's worth noting that my 6-year-old logic was that marrying someone just meant that you were best friends to the point where you lived with each other, and I didn't have any friends who were boys, so clearly I would wind up marrying a girl. When I came out to my mom as aroace, she brought that up without knowing my reasoning behind it, and that was how I told her I'm in a QPR. (Neither I nor my QPP wound up being female, but that's another story.)
  24. This. There was one week last year where I wound up getting roped into giving like 3 different people relationship advice, and despite my immediate reaction of "...you do realize you're asking the actual least qualified person in existence here, right?", I've been told it was good advice? *shrugs*
  25. This kind of happens in the webcomic Homestuck--I'm thinking specifically of the moirallegiance (essentially the in-universe equivalent of a QPR, and pretty much the closest thing QPRs have ever gotten to canonical representation in something reasonably popular) between Equius and Nepeta, and possibly that between Karkat and Gamzee as well.
  • Create New...